


Tainted Love

by FlameWolf



Series: The Tainted Love Trilogy [1]
Category: Marilyn Manson (Band)
Genre: Alcoholism, Angst, Bisexual Behavior, Blow Job, Complete, F/M, Fingering, Hand Job, Heterosexual Behavior, Hurt/Comfort, Light Bondage, M/M, Oral, Original Characters - Freeform, Unresolved Sexual Tension, light bloodplay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-21
Updated: 2015-08-19
Packaged: 2018-02-26 10:43:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 151,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2649089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlameWolf/pseuds/FlameWolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At a concert Raven gets a chance to meet the man she's obsessed over for most of her life, Marilyn Manson. Soon they start a relationship with many ups and downs. Will they ever have a stable relationship? Or is it doomed to failure?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Concert

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Marilyn Manson or anything affiliated with him or the band. I don't know any of these famous people in real life and none of this story happened. This is fiction and just for fun. I make no profit from this.

Peaceful, quiet. The whole neighborhood slept peacefully as the stars made their way across the cold night sky. Crickets chirped merrily as the houses slumbered. Suddenly the tranquility of the night was broken by a loud outburst of music. The source of the loud racket was a large house with one light on in the top floor. Inside the room a 28 year old woman gyrated, singing loudly and off-key to a Marilyn Manson song. She was wearing a triple x sized Marilyn Manson shirt as a nightgown and she was throwing her long black hair back and forth. The song currently blasting loudly from the speakers was Marilyn Manson's cover of 'Tainted Love.'

An irritated knock on her bedroom door went largely unheard, with how loud the music was a hurricane would have gone unheard. The wooden door opened to reveal an exasperated looking woman with a mess of curly, brown hair. Her green eyes flickered irritably as she took in the sight in front of her. Her insane friend was going to wake up to entire neighborhood! “Turn the music down!” she screamed at the top of her lungs, being entirely drowned out by the near concert level volume. Knowing that screaming was getting her literally nowhere, the disgruntled female stomped over to the vibrating stereo and fumbled behind it. With a grin of triumph, she pulled the plug.

Blinking, the black haired woman froze mid air guitar before turning to look at her stereo. Instead of the expected smoke rising from the system, she saw her very disgruntled friend/housemate dangling the power cord from her hand. She wore a loose fitting Superman sleeping shirt and blue sleeping pants that had the hero's symbol emblazoned all over them. “Hey! Why'd you kill the tunes Amanda?” she protested, glaring at the other woman.

“Oh, gee I don't know. Maybe because its  two in the fucking morning and you're playing your music loud enough to be heard at PLUTO Meagan!”  she screamed, starting off softly, then screaming loud enough to nearly pop a blood vessel. Coughing from her now sore throat, Amanda glared at her abashed looking friend.

“I'm sorry Mandy, I'm just so frustrated,” she sighed, sitting down on the deep red covers of her bed and putting her head in her hands. Her hazel eyes closed in misery as she heaved a sigh.

“What's going on?” Amanda asked, all anger disappearing for the most part. She had known Meagan since Pre-school, they had always looked out for each other and right now it looked like her friend needed her.

“Oh Christ where do I begin,” she began, laughing bitterly, smoothing the material of her shirt over her knees.

“I'm obsessed Mandy, in love with a man I've never met and will never get to meet. It feels stupid just saying it really. I know what I want could only happen in the furthest reaches of reality but I just can't help it,” she said in a strangled voice, running a shaky, pale hand through her black hair.

“Megs... Is it?” she asked, already knowing the answer quite well. Her friend had been obsessed for years, almost seemed to pine for the man she wanted.

“Of course it is! There's never  been anyone  else . And it's Raven now, Meagan is dead Amanda. She has been for a long time,” she murmured quietly, looking longingly at one of the posters on her wall. On the poster was the pale, familiar face of Marilyn Manson. He was dressed in pseudo-nazi gear, his black hair cropped to just under his chin. His black painted lips were parted and his mismatched eyes stared blankly.

“Meg, er, Raven why do you torture yourself like this?” Amanda asked, sitting on the silken bed beside her distraught friend.

“If I could let him go I would but I can't Mandy. He's all I think about, all I want. I would die happy if I could just talk to him once,” she sighed, a tear streaking black mascara down her pale cheek.

Amanda hugged her friend, her brow knitted in concern. She had been planning on a surprise for Meag... no, Raven, for weeks and with the looks of her friend it would be just the thing. All she had to do was get her to last until tomorrow. Letting Raven cry into her blue clad shoulder, Amanda stared at the same poster her friend had looked at.

The next day Amanda stumbled downstairs nearly collapsing by the counter in front of the coffee pot. With dark purple circles under her eyes, the exhausted woman pulled herself up by using the kitchen counter. Leaning heavily on the cold, white marble, the half awake female plugged in the coffee pot; her hair a wild rat's nest of curls. Fumbling with the stuff that was always right by the pot, she finally managed to get the coffee going. Stumbling to the kitchen table, the barely conscious woman collapsed and waited for her coffee.

Thankfully she had already had two cups of the nasty, bitter fluid before Raven came stumbling down the stairs. Still dressed in her oversized Marilyn Manson shirt, the half asleep female stumbled to the fridge. Her black hair sticking up at wild angles and leaning on the fridge door in a way that was unhealthy to the fridge, Raven blearily searched the fridge. After few second she straightened, a familiar bottle of red, carbonated fluid in her hands. Unscrewing the white top, the tired looking female took a few deep swigs of the deep red fluid.

Finally pulling the plastic bottle from her lips, Raven let out a loud, ringing belch. Amanda rolled her eyes, clapping sarcastically. Raven mock bowed, feeling a little more awake after a swig of the sugar filled soda in her hands. The red label was covered in strawberries and read 'Faygo Red Pop.' Recapping her precious soda, Raven sat at the table across from Amanda and covered her mouth as she yawned. “You know, that can't be good for you,” Amanda suggested, taking a small sip from her third cup of coffee.

“Yeah and that black sludge is great for you,” Raven quipped, motioning at the mug with disgust.

Amanda sighed, looking into the black fluid. She didn't even really like coffee but needed it in order to wake up. In truth she was envious that it only took Raven a simple soda to wake her up. “You've got me there,” she replied with a shrug, taking another sip of the bitter brew. Raven only smirked in response, uncapping her Red Pop and taking a drink.

“You better go get dressed,” Amanda said neutrally, nibbling on a piece of toast.

“Why?” Raven asked, just noticing that Amanda was fully dressed in casual clothes.

“We're going to be going somewhere in a half hour. You'll need to eat before we leave so you better hurry,” she responded, enjoying Raven's confused look.

With a cautious look to Amanda, Raven scampered back upstairs to throw on her clothes. She chose a Marilyn Manson t-shirt, black jeans and black platform boots. Once she was dressed, she came back downstairs. Curiosity ate at her as she noticed Amanda was watching her, a mischievous gleam in her green eyes. Knowing from years of experience she wouldn't get a thing from her friend, Raven fixed herself a bowl of cereal. Trying to ignore the nagging curiosity, Flame ate her cereal quickly; washing her bowl out when she was done.

Amanda got to her feet, smiling down at the overweight, female, black cat that was suddenly curling around her legs purring. “Hello Mystery,” she chirped, giving the fat cat a fond scratch behind the ears, “Oh Flame you better take out Lady.”

Now even more curious and confused, Raven whistled briefly. A medium sized, fluffy, black dog with floppy ears and a curly tail came trotting up to her, curly tail wagging wildly. With a fond smile to her beloved dog, Raven led her to the back door and made her sit. Once the mutt was sitting patiently, Raven opened the door and clipped a lead to her dog's collar. Once secured, Lady went flying out into the spacious yard, the lead zipping on the line that spanned the entire length. Setting out some food and water, the black haired female closed and locked the back door.

Amanda finished her toast, giving her cat's silky black fur a last stroke before she stood. “Okay Raven, lets go,” she chirped, grabbing her purse. Raven quirked a brow at her before grabbing her own purse and following her friend out to her car. Getting into the blue Nissan, Raven clicked her seat belt, placing her black purse on her jeans clad lap. Amanda go into the driver's seat, clicking in her seat belt and adjusting her mirrors slightly before backing out of the short driveway.

Hours later and Amanda was sure that if she had to listen to another Marilyn Manson song she would puke. A sardonic grin twisted her lips at the thought. At least they were almost there and the music had kept Raven from asking questions. Looking at her friend from the corner of her eye, she hoped all of this wouldn't just make things worse.

It was with some relief that she pulled into the parking lot, the day just starting to swing into late afternoon. The lot was absolutely packed with milling people and cars trying in vain to find a closer spot to the huge building. Picking her way through the stuffed lot carefully, her hands white knuckled on the steering wheel, Amanda sighed in relief when she finally pulled into a spot.

She and Raven exited the car, a grin curling her lips as Raven looked around with confusion. The front of the building had a huge sea of people at the entrance and there were thousands more just milling around the parking lot. “Amanda?” she asked, confusion heavy in her voice.

“Here. Happy early birthday,” Amanda stated, smiling widely as she handed Raven a V.I.P. Ticket and backstage pass to a Marilyn Manson concert. Raven stared down at the items, her jaw dropped in disbelief. Tears of happiness and gratitude filled her hazel eyes as she threw her arms around Amanda's neck and hugged tightly.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“You're welcome, now lets get you in that front row,” Amanda cheered with false excitement. She hated concerts, especially loud ones. Her poor ears were in for a rough night but it was all to make her friend happy.

Hell! This was pure hell! Hot bodies pressed and shoved into her. The loud music was making her ears feel like they were being ripped apart and she was getting one  whopper of a migraine. Still, watching Raven so happy and excited made her feel it was all worth it. Right now Marilyn Manson was belting out the song 'The Nobodies' which seemed to be one of Raven's favorites.

Raven leaned forward, trying to reach past the security to touch the rock star's platform boot. She sang eagerly along, pouring all of her feelings into the song she knew so well. The corset wearing rock god prowled to where she was standing holding his mic over the crowd, signaling for them to sing along. As the last notes of the song faded, his mismatched eyes scanned the crowd, landing on her.

Their eyes locked for a moment and she was left breathless. With a fingerless gloved hand he pointed directly at her, glowering at the security man in front of her. “You, bring that one up,” he ordered hotly into the mic. Raven looked around, a blush coloring her cheeks as the whole crowd around her went deathly silent. The security guard turned to look at her, pointing and looking back at the singer for confirmation.

“Yes, her you idiot!” he snapped peevishly, obviously not used to people not just knowing what he wanted.

Raven went pale as the crowd began to turn mutinous on her. Hate-filled, jealous eyes all glared at her as they began to press in. Thankfully the security guard grabbed her under her arms, lifting her over the tape. Once she was on the other side, he led her gently to the edge of the stage. The six foot six rock star knelt down, extending a black fingerless gloved hand to her; the stage lights shining off the tops of his platforms. Eeping slightly as the security guard boosted her up by her butt, she timidly grabbed a hold of his hand.

With both of their help, she was hoisted bodily onto the tall stage where she found herself staring into the whitish blue and brown eyes of her idol. His shoulder length black hair hung slightly in his face and his black lips were curled in an evil grin. Tossing her a mic he turned back to the crowd, spreading his arms wide. Sincerely hoping he wasn't going to expect her to do what she suspected, she clutched the microphone tightly and shook. “Tonight I'm going to do something I've never done before! I'm going to sing a song with one of my fans,” he announced into his mic, smiling when they erupted into cheers.

All the color drained from her face as Raven searched the crowd for Amanda. There was no possible way she could do this! She had a hard time singing in high school choir! Being in front of crowds was not one of her strong points. Backing away from the now preening singer, Raven caught Amanda's eyes and silently begged her to get her out of this mess.

Amanda watched her poor friend torn between amusement and sympathy. Raven was horribly shy and had really bad stage fright. Yet she was up on stage with the person she had obsessed over for years. Maybe this could be Raven's chance to show Marilyn Manson just how much he meant to her. Giving her a thumbs up, she nearly collapsed in giggles as Raven returned it with a middle finger.

Glaring at her unhelpful friend, Raven suddenly noticed it had gone very quiet. Gulping loudly, she looked up hesitantly to see Manson staring at her expectantly while motioning her to come back. Reluctantly, the nervous woman walked back to his side on shaky legs; suddenly finding the tops of her knee high platforms very interesting. “What songs do you know,” he whispered in her ear, suddenly far too close. A thrill of arousal as well as just plain flusterment shuddered through her as his warm breath caressed her ear.

“A-all of them,” she responded in a shaky, quiet voice.

“Which one would you like to sing with me tonight,” he responded, an odd grin on his face.

Raven had to stop and think for a moment about that one. If there was any song she could sing to show him how she felt, she had to think quickly. A thousand possibilities flashed through her mind in a second until the correct one blared at her in bright neon. “The Last Day on Earth,” she responded quietly.

The towering singer rolled his eyes. He should have known she would have picked that one. With an irritated sigh, he switched his mic back on. “The Last Day on Earth!” he screamed into the mic, holding up a fist. As if on cue, the band began to play the hauntingly sad sounding song.

“Yesterday was a million years ago. In all my past lives I've played an asshole,” he sang out, turning to face Raven.

Her hands shaking and her mouth dry, Raven swallowed before beginning to sing in a beautiful voice that was achingly full of emotion. “Now I found you, its almost too late,” she uttered, her voice full of heartbreak. Manson blinked, his voice wavering a bit as they sung the next lines together.

“And this Earth seems obliviating. We are trembling in our crutches. High and dead our skin is glass,” they sang in unison his eyes now fully on her.

“I'm so empty here without you. I crack my xerox hands,” Raven sang out hauntingly, almost sounding on the verge of tears.

“I know its the last day on Earth. We'll be together while the planet dies,” he sung back, moving towards her slowly. His mismatched eyes burned into her intensely as he stopped mere inches from her. Anyone listening to them that didn't see him pull her from the crowd could swear they were a couple singing a duet to each other.

“I know its the last day on Earth. We'll never say goodbye,” she whispered, making it sound as if she truly was dying with her life companion on the last day of existence.

“The dogs slaughter each other softly,” he growled into the mic, now singing to her instead of the crowd, his eyes fixed solely on her.

“Love burns its casualties,” she returned softly, her voice full of sadness.

“We are damaged provider modules. Spill the seeds at our children's feet,” he responded, reaching forward to brush a strand of her black hair out of her face.

“I'm so empty here without you,” she cried out, her voice full of loneliness and longing. Her hazel eyes were filled with unspent tears as the emotions from the song filled her. She didn't notice Manson hitching in a breath before continuing.

“I know they want me dead,” he whispered into the mic, his eyes now swirling with odd emotions.

“I know its the last day on Earth. We'll be together while the planet dies,” she whispered in a shaky voice, her face flaming with embarrassment as she gazed into his eyes. They held a deep lust as well as something else she couldn't identify.

“I know its the last day on Earth. We'll never say goodbye,” he responded, cupping her cheek in his free hand.

Together they finished off the repeating chorus both of them lingering on the last lines. As the final notes faded, the crowd erupted into cheers, catcalls and whistles. Raven, realizing what she had just done in front of millions of people, blushed brick red and began to back away from the singer. His mismatched eyes narrowed as he turned his back to the crowd, stalking after her. Grabbing her arm in a none too gentle grip, he prevented her escape. His eyes burned into her intensely as it looked like he was bordering on saying something. Then his eyes flicked to the V.I.P. Pass around her neck and grinned. “So, you were going to see me after the show anyway. Then I wouldn't have gotten to hear you sing,” he purred, pulling her back to the front of the stage.

Blushing and digging the heels of her platforms into the slick surface of the stage, Raven resisted his pulls fruitlessly. Suddenly he wrapped an arm tightly around her waist, holding her tight to his side. Feeling both aroused and flustered, Raven could only look up at the towering star. “I'm afraid I'm going to have to end this set a bit early,” he growled into the mic, waggling his brows luridly at the crowd. The huge mass of people responded with knowing whistles and approving yells. Tossing his microphone into the crowd, the singer led her off the stage and into his private room in the backstage area.

Raven timidly entered the room, dropping the mic she still held onto a coffee table. The black haired star walked by her, grabbing a towel off one of the huge mirrors in the room. He wore only a corset, a black g-string, torn nylon and his platform boots. He wiped the sweat from his tattooed body as he looked her over with mismatched eyes. Smiling nervously, Raven sat on the large couch; trying to look anywhere but at the singer who stared at her. “I've never heard someone sing that song with that much emotion. You made it sound almost as if you were mourning a lover,” he whispered in his rich baritone voice, snatching a bottle of water of the mirror dresser and downing half the bottle in one gulp.

“Well... I... that is,” she stammered suddenly feeling very foolish and exposed. He merely leaned against one of the mirror dressers, giving her a look that said he had all night.

“I-I oh this is fucking hard with you right here,” she snarled, her face flaming from mortification. She was really putting herself on a limb here. What would happen if she told him the depth of her feelings for him? She didn't even know him for fuck's sake! She would just sound like a desperate loser. Still, it looked as if he wasn't going to let her leave until she answered him.

“Iloveyou,” she said in a rush, hoping against hope he hadn't caught what she said. Her whole body went stiff as she looked at the beige carpet under her booted feet, a deep blush on her cheeks.

“Say that again. Slowly,” he purred, his voice low and dangerous sounding. Swallowing around the lump of fear lodged in her throat, she opened her mouth to repeat herself; only making a squeaking noise. Holding her hand against her racing heart, she took a deep breath and tried again.

“I... I love you,” she whispered, her voice sounding utterly defeated as her shoulders slumped. Hunching, she waited for the yelling, for him to kick her out. Her eyes fixed hard on the carpet as she found herself unable to look at him.

“Look at me,” came the soft order, full of warning. Reluctantly, she raised her head to see him glaring at her intensely. She flinched back, thinking the emotion in his eyes was fury at her audacity.

The towering rock star stalked toward her, his heavy boots clumping on the floor loudly. He stopped mere inches from her, looking down at her assessingly. Then his lips were crashing into hers roughly, his right hand entwining in her black hair. Raven was at first surprised by the kiss, then melted, wrapping her pale arms around his neck. He broke the kiss suddenly, panting hard as he straightened.

His eyes burning into hers, he slowly crawled over her on the couch; his black hair falling in a curtain around their faces. “The way you sang to me tonight. I have no doubt that you  do  love me but do you have any idea just who and what you love?” he snarled at her heatedly, before capturing her lips in a needy kiss. Raven found herself arching into him, gasping into his mouth as arousal rose thickly within her. Growling against her lips, he used a nylon clad knee to open her legs so he could settle between them.

“I want to get to know you better. What's your name?,” he purred huskily, rubbing his clothed arousal against her clothed core. Raven gasped slightly, blushing as her arousal heightened from just that brief contact.

“I'd like that. My name is Raven,” she whispered, licking her lips nervously.

With a wicked smirk on his pale face, Manson kissed her again; his right hand cupping her shirt covered breast. Raven moaned into his mouth, her body helplessly arching into him. She was so lost in her lust for him, she would have let him have her right on the couch if they hadn't been interrupted by a loud knock. With a low growl, the irate star pulled himself from her; his arousal tenting the front of his g-string. “What in the fuck do you want?!” he snarled, flinging the door open to reveal a very abashed looking man wearing thick glasses.

“U-um, w-we're packing up. We'll be leaving in a few minutes,” he announced, earning a furious snarl and a door slammed in his face.

Still glaring, he turned to look at Raven. The pale woman sat up, a look of heartbreak on her face so profound that it almost broke his heart just seeing it. “I'll never see you again,” she whispered, tears rolling down her pale cheeks.

For reasons beyond him, Manson found her tears disturbing. Every clear drop that rolled down her cheeks was like a knife stab to his heart. Not willing to just let things end here, he grabbed a piece of paper and wrote something on it. “Its my number. Call me sometime. I really would like to get to know more about you,” he stated, holding out the small piece of paper. Smiling in a way that made his heart lurch in his chest, the small female took the paper and put it in her pocket. It almost looked as if she didn't believe him. He was about to go to her and reassure her that he was very interested in her when another knock grabbed his attention.

With a frustrated growl, he opened the door to reveal the same timid man from earlier. “I'll be there in a minute!” he snarled, slamming the door in the guy's face again.

“I should go,” Raven whispered, her voice sounding empty and hollow. Manson whirled to face her, his hands clenched at his sides. If only he had more time!

“What's your number?” he asked, having a suspicion that she wouldn't call him.

Smiling almost bitterly, Raven scrawled her number on a piece of paper. Then she walked up to him, looking up into his whitish blue and brown eyes. Wanting just one last kiss, Raven stood on tiptoe and pressed her lips to his. Although the kiss was cautious, it was full of every emotion she felt for the man before her. His hands slowly wrapped around her to her surprise, as he deepened the kiss. His tongue gently caressed hers as he growled into her mouth. A third knock made them break apart. Manson fairly bristled at the door, his arms tightening around her for the briefest of moments.

Raven pulled out of his tight grip, feeling her heart breaking into a million pieces. Shielding herself against the pain and not wanting to linger any longer, Raven fairly ran from the room. She ignored the singer's almost desperate calls for her to come back.  'He just wanted a one night stand,'  she reasoned to herself, fighting the tears that threatened to fall.

'Its not as if someone like him would want someone like me. We don't even know each other,' she mentally berated herself as she swiped her tears away angrily. Although she could swear she heard boots running a ways behind her.

Venturing a cautious glance behind herself, she saw Manson approaching at a fast clip; the mousy guy right on his heels. His eyes were fixed on her as he practically ran towards her. A touch of panic shot through her, not ready to encounter him again so soon. With a frightened whimper, she broke into a run; not quite able to ignore the desperate call of her name as he sped up to catch her. “Fuck! Raven! Please! Stop!” he screamed, an odd edge to his voice that nearly made her pause. It almost sounded as if he was desperate to catch up to her.

Her heart cramping painfully, reminding her the reason why she had fled him, she had to stop and lean on a wall. Her hand gripped her chest, her heart refusing to unclench enough so she could get a proper breath. To her horror, she heard the boot steps getting closer and looked up to see he was almost caught up to her. Unable to do more than to back away feebly, Raven took a few steps backward.

He strode up to her swiftly, roughly pulling her into his tattooed arms. His scarred chest heaved as he fought to catch his breath. His arms trembled around her from the exertion he had put himself through to catch her. She tried to pull away half heartedly, earning a breathless growl as he tightened his hold on her. “M'not lettin' you go...till y-you p-promise to call me,” he panted, obviously having trouble catching his breath.

“But, but,” she whimpered, avoiding his intense gaze.

“But... nothing! N-no one's ever h-had that much... feeling for me,” he huffed, not willing to even loosen his grip to lean against a wall.

Raven ducked her head, blushing hotly at the emotion in his voice. Her performance and her last kiss had rocked him quite hard. It almost made her hope foolishly that he  did want this to turn into a relationship. “Okay, I promise,” she responded, her eyes going wide as he pulled her into a crushing hug. Still panting, he began to kiss her face gently until he reached her lips. Those he captured roughly, pouring his own emotions into the kiss. Love, confusion, fear and need flowed through the kiss, making her head swim.

“Mr. Manson! We really must go!” came a breathless squeak. Manson stiffened, reluctantly breaking the kiss and resting his head against hers.

“Call me soon,” he whispered, his voice rough. With a final kiss to her forehead, the irate rock star left with the mousy man close on his heels. Raven collapsed against the wall, her fingers resting on her lips in wonder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: I started this fanfic series a long time ago in high school. When it was written it was horribly amateur so I decided to rewrite it. Rights to the song 'Last Day on Earth' belong to Marilyn Manson of course.


	2. Spiraling Out of Control

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Incoming angst! Get them tissues man!

Raven hadn't left her room since they had come back from the concert. When Amanda had eventually met up with her she had been wandering around in an almost zombie state. Her eyes were alarmingly dead and void of emotion, causing concern to shoot through her. Raven had resisted any questions, instead staying silent for the entire trip home. She simply stared out at the passing landscape, her eyes dead and hollow.

As soon as they got home she had gone up to her room, leaving Amanda to let Lady in. There she had stayed for the past three days. She didn't even know if Raven had eaten anything. Not even music came from the room and that was really unusual. Usually her friend would play Marilyn Manson when she was upset. She began to wonder if what happened had anything to do with the singer.

Raven ignored the phone as it rang again for the 20 th time that day. A familiar ring tone of 'Last Day on Earth' let her know that it was once again Manson trying to get a hold of her. Sighing sadly, she rolled to face away from the ringing phone. She had only put in the number and gave it a ring tone so she wouldn't accidentally pick up. Despite what he had said at the concert, doubt filled her. It was impossible for anyone to develop interest in someone that quickly, right? Unwilling to pick up the ringing, deep red phone, she closed her eyes and waited for him to give up. It would be better for her if she just forgot him anyway.

Manson glared down at the phone as he was informed her mailbox was full. She hadn't listened to his messages but she hadn't deleted them either. Sighing in frustrated worry, he closed his phone and put it in his pocket. He was almost considering trying to find her but he didn't even know where she lived. Growling in frustration, he poured himself a glass of vodka mixed with absinthe; knocking it down in one gulp as if it was nothing. He hated feeling this powerless.

Amanda stood in front of her friend's silent room, straining her ears to hear any sign of life. The only noise she heard was a soft ring tone playing a song that sounded familiar to her. Then it hit her, it was 'Last Day on Earth' the song Raven had sung to Manson with such emotion. Was it possible that Manson was trying to get a hold of Raven? If that was true, why wasn't Raven answering it. Unable to stand it anymore, Amanda flung open the door and stormed inside.

Raven was fast asleep, her almost bruised eyes tightly shut. Dried tear trails were on her cheeks and she was very thin. It looked as if she hadn't been eating or sleeping. Amanda moved toward the still ringing phone, looking at the name on the display in near disbelief. The name read 'Marilyn Manson'. Looking guiltily at her friend, she took the phone and left the room.

Manson was about to resign himself to getting the mailbox full message again when it sounded like the phone was answered. “Raven?” he breathed, a bit of relief and hope coming into his voice.

“No, this is her friend Amanda. What happened that night?” asked a strange, female voice.

His heart plummeting to the floor, he fought the urge to demand the woman on the line let him talk to Raven. “We were getting to know each other when I had to leave. I gave her my number but I think she thinks this is a trick of some sort,” he answered, pinching the bridge of his nose as he took deep, calming breaths.

“Well that explains some things at least. Look, she isn't doing too well. She hasn't left her room in three days, hasn't eaten and it looks like she hasn't been sleeping much,” the female on the other end reported, her voice thick with concern.

What she told him made him tighten his grip on the phone hard enough to make the plastic creak. He was going to kill that manager the next time he saw the man. “I'll book a flight tonight. I'll be there as soon as I can,” he growled into the phone, clenching his jaw.

“Well you'll probably need to know where we live for that,” the female replied, almost sounding amused.

Amanda hung up, a feeling of guilt burning deep in her stomach. She felt bad for calling a man her friend obviously didn't want to see to help her. Yet she knew it would be better for Raven to have him here. The sound of violent vomiting made her head shoot up in concern. Going pale, the curly haired female sprinted up the stairs two at a time. To her horror she saw a trail of what looked like very diluted blood on the floor leading to the bathroom. Her heart thumping loudly in her chest, Amanda knocked on the door.

Raven rested her head on the cool porcelain bowl of the toilet, panting heavily as a pink trickle of blood slid down her chin. She had been dry heaving for days due to her not eating, it must have finally torn a hole in the esophagus. Flushing the alarmingly bright red, foamy liquid, Raven startled at the gentle knock. “I'm fine! Just a hole in the esophagus!” she called out hoarsely, spitting a wad of bloody tissue into the toilet bowl.

Amanda wasn't at all reassured but took the opportunity to return the phone to where she had gotten it from. She briefly pondered if she should tell Raven what she had done but decided against it. It would probably cause the woman to go into further seclusion or run away altogether. For reasons unknown to her, it seemed like her friend was afraid of getting what she truly wanted.

As the day wore on, Amanda got more and more worried. Raven was vomiting a lot more often, more and more blood coming up each time. Had her friend eaten something to attempt suicide? Worry clenched her heart as she stared at the phone on the wall. She was very close to calling the hospital for an ambulance to pick up her friend.

Raven gasped harshly, a bloody string of drool stretching from her lip to the lip of the toilet. The bowl was full of thick, red liquid; making a spike of panic enter her brain. She shouldn't be throwing up this much blood if it was just a torn esophagus. The panic quickly changed to acceptance as she collapsed against the tub. If her body just wanted to die, she would let it. Tears slipped down her cheeks as she locked the door to the bathroom.

A loud, insistent knock broke Amanda out of her worried thoughts as she stared upstairs. Raven had at least stopped vomiting but she was still highly concerned for her friend. Wondering who was at the door at ten at night, Amanda opened the door; her jaw dropping in shock when she saw who was standing on her doorstep.

Manson looked around almost desperately before his eyes settled on her. “Where is she?” he asked, a hard edge to his voice as his mismatched eyes narrowed. He was dressed in all black and wore a long, black leather trench-coat.

“She's upstairs in her room I think,” she answered, blinking rapidly; as if sure this was a dream that would disappear.

Shoving past her, the tall rock star mounted the stairs two at a time until he was upstairs. Her room stood open and empty but the door to the bathroom across the hall was tightly shut. Seeing the puddles of blood on the floor, the singer went even more pale as he fairly pounded on the bathroom door. “Raven! Open the door!” he yelled, hoping that she hadn't done anything foolish.

Raven lifted her head blearily at the familiar voice, tiredness filling her very bones. “Go away, she gasped out weakly, barely able to make her voice heard.

“Raven! Either open this door or I'm breaking it down!” yelled a concerned yet furious male voice. Something about it tugged at her memory.

“I said go away!” she yelled back, her weak, squeaky voice cracking. Silence followed and she briefly hoped whoever was out there had gone away. Then something heavy slammed into the door from the other side.

Amanda came running up, alarmed by the sudden slam. As she watched, Manson backed up into Raven's room before running into the door; putting all his weight behind it. The wood of the door made an alarming cracking noise as it bowed slightly inward. “What are you  doing ?!” she exclaimed, horrified.

“She's locked herself in there and won't open the door,” he snarled, backing up and slamming himself into the door again. The wood of the door cracked loudly as it began to bend severely inward. A determined look on his pale face, the scrawny singer backed up and slammed into the door again; taken off balance when it finally gave.

His mismatched eyes immediately flew to the barely conscious Raven, sucking in a harsh hiss at the sight of her. The front of her night shirt, which was really a huge Marilyn Manson t-shirt, was covered in deep red blood. More blood sat in the bowl of the toilet and splattered the inside of the bowl. Not normally squeamish, he found himself nearly vomiting at the sight of this mess. Raven glanced up at him with half focused eyes, a string of bloody drool dangling from her blood coated lips.

Barely able to keep from losing it right there, Manson knelt in front of Raven and wiped her mouth clean with a handkerchief. “M-marilyn?” she gasped out in a dazed, confused voice.

“Shhh,” he hushed, gently picking her up. Avoiding looking at the horrible mess in the toilet, he gingerly carried her to her room; ignoring the horrified gasp of the other female.

Gently, as if she was made of glass, he pulled her night shirt off her. He averted his eyes away from her politely as he went to a dresser. Opening the top drawer, he rummaged around in the many shirts until he found one large enough to act as her nightgown. Then, just as gently, got her dressed and picked her up again. Acting as if he was carrying an extremely fragile piece of glass, he carried her out of the room and down the stairs. “Where are you taking her?” asked the curly haired woman who was following behind him.

“To a hospital,” he growled, his voice cold and hard. Inside he seethed with a deep rage. He hoped to whatever god was up there the woman simply hadn't know Raven was throwing up blood. Otherwise he would have a few choice words for her.

“Is she really bad?” she asked in a horrified whisper, her green eyes filling with worry.

“Yes, I pray she even makes it to the hospital,” he bit out as he gently laid Raven down in the back of his blood red rental Jaguar.

“C-can I come,” Amanda asked, her heart clenching with guilt as well as worry. She should have just called an ambulance. If Raven died, she would never forgive herself.

“No,” he answered curtly, giving her a cold look full of accusation. The look shot through her like a knife, making her collapse to her knees as tears slid down her face.

“I- I didn't know she was so...,” she stammered, knowing it wasn't an excuse but wanting something to help explain herself.

Manson merely snorted at her as he got into the car and practically peeled out of the driveway. He rode the gas all the way to the hospital, expertly weaving in and out of the traffic. By some miracle no cops were called on his ass and he pulled up to the hospital unmolested. When he parked he got out, going to the back and gingerly picking up the now unconscious Raven.

Holding her as tightly as he dared, he ran to the doors of the hospital; the tails of his trench-coat flapping behind him. The doctors, nurses and patients all startled, looking at him with a mix of wonder and recognition. Ignoring the stares he was getting, the trench-coat clad singer approached the desk; holding Raven gently. The nurse behind the desk was looking at him with a mix of disbelief and wonder. “She needs help,” he snarled, snapping her out of her star struck trance.

The blonde haired nurse's gray-blue eyes flicked to the unconscious female in his arms, noticing just how pale she looked. “What's been happening?” she asked.

“She hasn't been eating, hasn't been sleeping and started throwing up blood today,” he answered, looking aggravated and impatient.

“How much blood has she thrown up?” the young nurse asked, concern knitting her brow as she reached for the phone beside her computer.

“It looked like a lot,” he growled, watching the nurse press a button on the phone.

Almost immediately a group of male nurses with a gurney came flying down the hall. Gently, the singer set Raven on the gurney; watching as they ran her down the hall. “Um, just take a seat. A doctor will come to tell you of her situation,” the nurse suggested, her blue-gray eyes roaming over him. Only giving a curt nod in response, the rock star sat in a seat in a semi-secluded spot in the crowded waiting room.

Time had crawled by unbearably slow, it felt like it had been years when it had only been a few minutes. He was about ready to force his way into the back and demand to know what was wrong with Raven. All the people staring at him didn't help matters either. A few were even daring each other to go ask for an autograph. If anyone asked him for an autograph he was going to rip their head off and stuff it down their throat. Unfortunately the sudden flashes of cameras being clicked announced the untimely arrival of the paparazzi.

The doctor came out to find the waiting room in absolute chaos, a famous shock rocker in the middle of a swarm of knocked out press people. Quirking his brow in confusion, the overweight, balding doctor had to admit he hadn't believed the nurse that said Marilyn Manson had brought the woman in. “Erm, Mr. Manson?” the doctor asked hesitantly, almost jumping when the towering rocker turned his baleful gaze to him.

Suddenly the singer was right in front of him, looking down with angry mismatched eyes. “Well?” he asked, a hint of desperation under his voice.

“It was just a badly torn esophagus. We cauterized the wound and have her on I.V. fluids. She's resting comfortably,” the doctor answered, trying not to show just how much this man scared him. To his surprise, the infamous Antichrist Superstar nearly went to his knees in relief.

“Oh thank fuck,” he whispered in a slightly shaky voice before looking back at the doctor, “Can I see her?”

“Erm, no. Its past visiting hours so only family can come to see her,” the doctor replied, wishing he had given a different answer when the super star's eyes took on a deadly edge.

“Try that again,” he hissed, his eyes narrowed and his voice dripping with deadly promise.

“I-I mean, of course you can! Go right ahead!” the overweight doctor stammered, sweat springing onto his brow.

With an irritated snort, Manson shoved past the doctor and entered the area behind the double doors. A male nurse was standing nearby and jumped when the singer slammed his way into the quiet hall. His eyes went wide as he recognized just who the person was. Manson, noticing the nurse, turned his attention to the young man. “Where's Raven's room?” he bit out, his voice full of impatience.

“Wha? Oh that woman everyone says you brought in. Yeah, she's in room 10,” the male nurse responded, pointing down the hall. As the singer made his way to the room, the nurse wondered just who the woman was to the singer.

He quietly opened the door, gasping slightly when he saw the state Raven was in. She had two I.V.s in her arm and she was fast asleep. Her pale skin accentuated the almost purple dark circles under her eyes. She looked so thin and vulnerable that he wanted nothing more than to protect her. His brow knitting with concern, he entered the room and went to the side of her bed. Hesitantly, he took her pale hand in his and brushed the top of it with his thumb.

The woman in the bed had touched him quite deeply with the way she had sung 'Last Day on Earth'. It felt like she had been singing the song just for him, filling it with all the love she felt for him. Even with all of his past girlfriends he had never felt such an unconditional love from another. The fact that she felt so strongly for him drew him to her. All he wanted right now was for her to open her eyes so he knew she was alright.

Raven groaned slightly, her hazel eyes feeling like they were weighted with cement as she tried to open them. “Raven?” asked an unsure, very familiar male voice from beside her. Groaning again, she valiantly tried to force her heavy eyelids open; managing to get them halfway open. Her vision was so blurred all she could see was a large black and white blur beside her bed.

Suddenly she was being hugged roughly, shaking arms holding her tightly. “You're awake. You're okay,” a male voice growled in her ear, filled with relief. Why did the voice sound so familiar? Also why was he here? She had no male friends and her family had disowned her long ago. Trying to force her eyes to focus, Raven tried to make out her mystery visitor.

Much too slowly for her liking, the man holding her slowly came into focus but what she saw didn't help identify him. Since he was hugging her, all she could see was the black trench-coat he was wearing. Then he slowly pulled back and she gasped as she saw who it was. Marilyn Manson stared down at her with relief filled mismatched eyes, a small smile on his black lips. “M-marilyn Manson?! Wh-what?” she stammered, confused as well as flustered.

“I told you I was interested in getting to know you,” he responded, his smile of relief turning into a smirk.

“I don't... why are you here?! Why am I in a hospital?” she asked, confusion filling her voice. The singer's eyes went sad for a moment before taking on a hard edge.

“I had been trying to get a hold of you for a while if you recall. You never answered but I kept calling. When I want something, I don't give up easy. Last time I called, your 'friend' picked up and told me what was going on with you,” he answered, his eyes boring into her.

Memories of what happened flooded back to her, causing her to gasp. She remembered being in the bathroom, barely conscious, when a man outside the door ordered her to let him in. She dimly remembered Manson entering the room and cleaning her off. “Y-you broke down the bathroom door,” she replied, her voice filling with wonder.

“Yes, I took an express flight to here to find you. You were pretty bad when I got to you,” Manson whispered, his voice cracking slightly.

Raven blinked at the sliver of raw emotion in the singer's voice. It almost sounded like he had been afraid for her. The thought made her feel warm all over as butterflies took flight in her stomach.  “Th-thank you,” she whispered, her voice shaky. Blushing deeply from being flustered, Raven kept her focus on the white hospital sheets in her hand.

“S-so what now?” she asked timidly, her heart beating in her throat. Her chin was suddenly grabbed in a gentle grip as her head was forced up.

“Now, I get to know you. Right after I get you home,” he responded, a smirk on his face.


	3. Meeting the Band

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Now we get to meet the whole crazy bunch! Also, because I can't keep up with the new members of his band, I'm sticking to the band members I know best. Sorry. :/

The doctors had deigned it safe to release Raven that same night much to her relief and apprehension. Her companion had left the room at several intervals, taking his phone out as he went. She found herself wondering just who he was calling but dreaded the answer. He had just come back in when the doctor announced she could go home.

As the doctor left, giving a wary look to the tall singer, Manson walked over to the side of her bed with an odd smile on his face. “I hope you know that quite a media storm is awaiting us out there,” he warned, sounding all too amused.

“R-really?” she found herself squeaking as she tried to hide under the covers.

“Oh yeah, not every day 'Marilyn Manson' brings a girl to the hospital,” the singer responded, a smirk on his black lips.

“S-so will they leave me alone?” she asked hopefully, wanting nothing more than to crawl under a rock and die. In all the world, the thing she hated most was having her picture taken. What made this worse was  these  pictures would be shown all over the world.

“Oh not at all! You're one they're the most interested in. After all, there are rumors flying around that you're my new girlfriend,” he purred, amusement dripping from his voice as he watched her reaction.

Raven's hazel eyes went wide as her face went brick red and she made a small squeaking noise. They already assumed she was his girlfriend?! But she wasn't! They didn't know nearly enough about each other to form a relationship. Yet it certainly was looking like Manson wanted to start a relationship with her. The thought made a wave of nerves and desire to spark through her, causing her to shudder slightly. There was no way any of this could be real! There was no way in hell that someone as famous or gorgeous could want little ol' her over a song she had sung to him. Maybe if she pinched herself she'd wake up in her bed, this all having been another one of her elaborate dreams.

Giving herself a hard pinch, she drew in a hiss of pain. She was only mildly surprised when she didn't suddenly wake up and Manson was staring at her with bemusement. His shoulder length, black hair hung slightly in his face, making it a bit hard to make out his exact expression. Despite already proving to herself that this was real, she still couldn't believe it. It all seemed so surreal. Stuff like this never happened to people like her. “I'll let you get dressed. I'll be back in a few moments. Try to prepare yourself for a lot of cameras and questions,” he said finally, breaking through her thoughts. Then he turned and left the room.

A deep terror filling her, Raven pulled on the only article of clothing she had; an over-sized Marilyn Manson shirt. Raven groaned in embarrassment as she pulled it on. Not only would the shirt inflame the rumors but the fact that she was nearly nude would give them quite an eyeful. Wanting nothing more than to sink into the floor and disappear, Raven tried to calm her racing heart.

All too soon the imposing singer was back, smirking at her. “Oh no, we can't have them seeing you in just that. No that wouldn't do at all,” he purred, his eyes shining with amusement as he pretended to think. Then he removed his long trench-coat, draping the heavy, black leather on her shoulders. Raven blinked for a moment, her arms automatically entering the sleeves and her hands fastening it. The coat was coated in his scent, smelling of alcohol, musk and sandalwood. Raven couldn't help but hold the collar up to her nose and take a deep breath.

She closed her eyes, smiling as his scent permeated her brain. A low thrum of arousal stirred in her belly just from the thickness of the scent. A deep chuckle broke her out of her reverie and she blushed as she realized what she had been doing. “I-I'm sorry,” she murmured softly, avoiding his gaze as she blushed hotly. What had she been thinking?! That was probably a really weird thing to do!

“Don't apologize. I'm just glad you seem to like how I smell,” he replied, amusement and lust woven through his rich voice. Then he was walking toward her and she noticed just how tightly his black, long sleeve shirt clung to him. Feeling a bit flustered as well as aroused, Raven gulped loudly and backed away until her back hit the wall.

A teasing smile curling his black lips, he lowered his face to hers; their lips mere inches from touching. “You're so adorable when you're flustered,” he purred, sounding far too proud of himself as his lips brushed hers briefly.

“N-no I'm not,” she huffed, meaning to sound angry but only sounding like a child that was protesting its nap. This made him chuckle as he brushed her lips again.

“Yes you are. You're so innocent and shy that its adorable,” he replied smoothly, pressing his body against her as he nipped her neck gently.

Raven gasped loudly, her body arching into his as a jolt of pleasure shot through her from where he nipped. He purred against her neck before giving her another gentle nip, causing her to shudder and moan softly. Then he pulled back, looking into her eyes. His left eye was whitish-blue with a smaller pupil and the right was a normal brown eye. Right now they both searched her probingly. “You really  are innocent,” he whispered, his voice so thick and rough it was almost a growl.

Raven felt another jolt of arousal wash through her at the sound of his voice. Yet she was confused by what he could mean. Surely he couldn't tell she was a virgin, could he? Was he so seasoned in sex that he could spot a virgin from miles away? Her heart lurched in her chest as embarrassment and flusterment filled her at the thought.

Suddenly feeling ill at ease with the way he was looking at her, Raven tried to duck under his arms to get away. This only yielded the result of him grabbing her arms and pinning her against the wall. “Did you have someone special in mind for your first?” he hissed, his mismatched eyes narrowed and cold.

“Y-yes,” she stammered out, shrinking back from his sudden anger. Her answer only served to inflame him, his grip tightening on her arms as he growled.

“Who?” he demanded, a dangerous edge to his voice.

Raven was now very afraid of the singer who had her pinned against the wall. She had never done very well around angry men thanks to her father, so Manson being this angry was causing her to have a panic reaction. Not to mention she didn't think he'd take it too well if she told him the truth. Only crazed, utterly obsessed fan-girls wanted him to be their first.

His mismatched eyes flashing with rage, Manson released one of her arms to punch the wall beside her head. “WHO?!” he screamed, veins standing out in his neck.

“Y-y-you...,” she whispered timidly, shaking from sheer terror. Her heart beat in her chest so hard she was almost afraid it was going to explode. For the first time since she met him, she found herself wondering if he was going to hurt her.

Manson froze, his eyes going wide as all the anger left him in a rush. Then he was hugging her tightly, whispering how sorry he was. He had no idea where that reaction had come from. The simple thought of her giving something that intimate to anyone else had filled him with a deep rage. As Raven broke down sobbing in his arms, he felt guilt begin to eat at him. He had obviously scared the shit out of her with that little stunt.

After she had gotten over her fright, Raven found herself not wanting to leave the singer's embrace. She had a deep sense of completeness and belonging just being held in his arms. She had never felt anything like that. With a sigh of contentment, she nuzzled into his chest and wrapped her arms around his thin waist. Then her eyes shot open as she remembered just who she was snuggled against. A hot blush now flaming her pale cheeks, Raven tried to back away only to have him tighten his hold on her.

It had been a long time since anyone had embraced him and it felt nice. So when she had tried to back away, he was going to have none of it and tightened his hold. He burrowed his nose into her black hair, inhaling deeply. She smelled of roses and apples and he inhaled every bit, as if trying to memorize her scent. Then, reluctantly, he pulled back and grabbed one of her small hands in his. “Come on, mustn't keep our public waiting,” he teased with a wink.

Gulping loudly, Raven followed Manson out into the deserted hall. “We'll have until we get into the lobby. Try to stay close so we don't get separated,” he stated, wrapping an arm around her. Raven could only nod in response, staring at the double doors. On the other side she heard a din of voices as thousands of paparazzi tried to negotiate to be allowed in the back.

“At worst, you'll have your picture taken with me,” he whispered in her ear, his voice teasing and full of amusement.

Raven shot him a weak glare which earned a chuckle from the performer. “Yeah, cause what I need is a bunch of butt mad fan-girls sending me death threats,” she grumbled, a bit of her snarky self slipping through. Manson outright laughed at her statement, rubbing her arm affectionately.

“If you hold onto that amount of fight, you'll make it through this just fine,” he assured as he pushed open the doors.

For a moment Raven thought she had gone blind and all she could see was white. Then she heard the almost bullet-like sound of shutters clicking in rapid succession and noticed the bright white wasn't constant but was flashing. A swarm of the camera carrying parasites surged toward the doors, their microphones held out and questions flying. The only thing that saved them from getting swamped was the line of hospital security that was barely managing to hold back the tide.

The sight of the sea of people all pointing their cameras at her made her heart nearly stop in her chest. Shaking like a leaf, she moved to hide behind the towering singer. Manson looked behind himself at her, his smirk completely gone. Raven looked absolutely petrified, shaking violently and pale as a sheet of paper. Ignoring the rapid-fire questions of the journalistic leeches, Manson turned his back to them and took the frozen girl into a comforting hug. “Easy, I won't let them hurt you. They'll see you with me eventually so we best just get this unpleasantness out of the way,” he whispered into her ear, not caring that he was just adding fuel to the napalm.

Raven whimpered, still shaking visibly as she looked up into his mismatched eyes. “B-but they'll have my picture. Everyone will know who I am,” she replied, looking like she was on the verge of tears.

“Its kinda the draw back to dating someone famous. There is no privacy for people like us,” he responded, rubbing her back soothingly.

Taking in a deep breath, Raven forced herself to gather all her courage and come stand by his side. Manson grinned down at her, once again wrapping an arm around her delicate waist. Then he began to lead her past the line of security and into the crushing grip of the tabloid hounds. The huge mass of people pressed in on them, doing their best to impede further movement until their questions were answered. For a moment Raven was afraid of simply being trampled as they continued to press in on them.

Having had quite enough of this nonsense, the performer bent and picked Raven up before simply shoving his way through the tight throng. When he managed to wrestle his way to the door, he opened the door and practically ran to his rental Jaguar. He gently set Raven down, unlocking the car and getting in as the sea of paparazzi began to come after them.

Hazel eyes going wide, Raven got into the blood red Jaguar and buckled her seat belt. Manson cranked the engine to life, backing up and speeding out of the hospital parking lot. As they pulled away, Raven couldn't help one last glance at the hellhounds of press. The sea of paparazzi stood there, their cameras still going off.

Raven turned back to the front, brushing her shoulder length, black hair behind her ear. She looked at the rock star who was currently driving, not liking the smirk he wore on his face. “They're going to have one hell of a front page tomorrow,” he chuckled. Raven couldn't help but groan and facepalm. Her face was going to be all over. They were probably going to use the picture of him carrying her bridal style and try to put some wedding twist on it. She could only hope they didn't know her name.

They traveled in comfortable silence, Raven being far too shy around the singer to try to strike up a conversation. When they pulled up to her house, Raven found her jaw dropping as she took in the scene in front of her. Every light in the house was on and three oddly dressed, blonde men were hustling stuff into the house from a large moving van. Amanda was standing outside, arguing with a blonde, mohawked man who was the fourth member of the group. “What on Earth?” she asked, looking at Manson with a bewildered look.

“Well, since you seem opposed to the idea of picking up a phone, I figured I would just move in on a trial basis,” he replied with a smirk as he parked the car in the driveway.

“Buh, whu, I don't even,” Raven stammered, her brain practically shutting down from this news.

“And of course my band members are gonna have to join me,” he said, his smirk widening into an outright evil grin.

“N-now wait a minute,” she sputtered, flailing her leather covered arms.

“I know you have more than enough rooms for us. Why did you guys get such a big house?” he asked, raising a hair-free brow.

“W-well, we wanted to be sure we had a lot of room for both of our families. We never planned to live apart from each other,” she found herself explaining, watching Amanda argue with the mohawked man.

“Are you guys that close?” he asked, a look of guilt flashing through his features for a split second.

“Oh yeah! We've known each other since Pre-school,” she answered. Then she realized she had been successfully distracted from the fact that he and his whole band was moving in.

“You can't just decide to move yourself and your band into our house!” she exclaimed, unbuckling her seat belt. They could continue this discussion outside. It didn't look as if Amanda had noticed the car due to being distracted by the mohawked man and she had to be worried sick.

“I already have though,” he remarked, satisfaction in his tone.

Shyness leaving in favor of irritation, Raven got out of the car and began to make her way to Amanda. Her first priority had to be to assure her childhood friend that she was alright. She decided to ignore the rock star that was currently jogging after her as she speed walked to Amanda, who was only a few feet away. As she got closer she heard snippets of the yelled conversation. “I don't care  what  that asshole said! This isn't  his  fucking house! I would have liked to have been  asked before this happened!” the curly haired female yelled, her green eyes flashing with irritation.

“And I told  you  that I'm just doing what I'm told! Do you have  any  idea what he'll do to me if I don't do what he says?!” asked the pasty white, blonde mohawk wearing man that was dressed in all black. His kohl surrounded brown eyes gleamed with irritation as he looked toward the others who were currently moving bits of musical equipment. Then he seemed to notice Manson coming and all. irritation seemed to leave him as fear took its place.

Noticing the look of terror on the stranger's face, Raven turned to see Manson's eyes focused solely on her as he strode towards her. A look of irritation mixed with amusement was on his face as he quickly closed the distance. “Meagan?!” asked a relieved female voice, breaking through her thoughts.

Raven turned back just in time to nearly be tackled by the smaller female as she was grabbed in a rough hug. “Oh thank God you're alright! I'm so sorry! I should have called a hospital!” Amanda wailed, nearly crushing Raven in a tight hug.

“Mmrf, need... air,” Raven gasped, swearing that one of her ribs had cracked.

“I'm sorry, I was just so worried,” sniffled the curly haired woman, pulling back and wiping tears from her pale cheeks.

“You told me your name was Raven,” came an amused baritone from behind Raven. Raven made an eeping noise, whirling around to face the performer who was staring at her with an amused look.

“My birth name is Meagan but trust me, I'm as much her as you are Brian,” the black haired woman replied, giving his bony chest a firm poke. Manson merely chuckled, placing a hand on her left shoulder.

“You're getting braver,” he purred, approval in his mismatched eyes.

Feeling flustered and shy from how he was looking at her, Raven cleared her throat and turned back to Amanda who was glaring at Manson. “Just what the  hell do ya think you're doing?! Who the  fuck told you that you have the  right  to move into  my house!” she yelled, placing her hands on her bony hips.

Manson merely chuckled in reply, giving Raven's shoulder a gentle squeeze. “Well, no one actually. I promise that we won't destroy anything,” he assured, voice dripping with amusement.

“That's not the  point ! The point is that you didn't even  ask !” she huffed.

“Alright, I'm sorry. May we move in on a trial basis? I need to make sure I can get ahold of this one,” he responded, pulling Raven back against his body.

Raven's hazel eyes widened as she found herself with her back pressed against his body. All of her previous shyness returned in a rush as she found herself going bright red and making squeaking noises. “Just adorable,” he purred in her ear, his hot breath making her shudder.

“Ugh! Its not as if I have a choice!” Amanda said with exasperated acceptance, flinging her arms in the air.

“Good! Now, I need to get Raven inside. She needs to eat and get some rest,” he stated, grabbing both Raven's shoulders. He then turned while still making sure she was in front of him by turning her with him and marched her into the house.

“H-hey! I need to at least find out who those men are first!” she protested, gesturing to the now four blonde men who were now moving some rather large boxes into the house.

“In due time, right now I just want to get you fed and in bed,” he replied semi-sternly, amusement in his voice as his hands tightened on her leather covered shoulders.

The imposing singer led her inside, steering her into the kitchen to the left of the door. He pulled out a chair at the table, staring at her expectantly. Feeling a bit timid, Raven complied and sat at the small, round table. Manson nodded curtly before going to the fridge and rummaging through it. “You know, that would probably be easier if I did that. You don't really know what I like to eat or where anything is,” she offered, her voice more shaky than she would like.

Her heart lurched in her chest as he looked at her with narrowed mismatched eyes. “Yeah, you got a point,” he replied, straightening.

Feeling a bit shy and awkward around the 'Antichrist Superstar', Raven stood and began to rummage through some cupboards. Finding a can of soup, she suddenly felt like someone was right behind her. Before she could turn his hands were on her shoulders and he was pressing himself against her back. His hot breath tickled her ear for a second before he began kissing her neck. A small moan escaped her as arousal rose in a wave inside her. Her hazel eyes fluttered shut as she leaned her head to the side to give him easier access. His breathing became quicker and more rough as he nipped her neck gently, his left hand on her waist. Arousal shot through her in a shock as his teeth grazed her sensitive flesh. “Hey, Manson! We're done unloa.. oh shit. I'm sorry,” came an unfamiliar male voice, breaking the spell Raven had been under.

Manson growled softly, releasing her and turning to face who had spoken. Raven turned as well, soup still in her hand, seeing a blonde haired man with hair that went down to his chin and hung slightly in his face. His brown eyes were surrounded with the same kohl as Manson and he would have been handsome if it weren't for the acne scars on his face. He was dressed in black, wearing platform boots as well. “Perfect timing Ginger,” Manson spat sarcastically, his hands clenched by his side. The reason for his irritability was made evident by the erection that stretched the fabric of his pants. Noticing this, Raven's hazel eyes went wide as her pale cheeks flamed with embarrassment and unexpected lust. Right now she found herself wanting him so badly it was physically painful which didn't help the feeling of embarrassment or awkwardness.

“Hey, how was I supposed to know?” he protested, backing away from the fuming performer.

Ignoring the brewing pissing match, Raven pulled a bowl out of another cupboard, pulled the tab on the can of soup, removed the lid and poured the amber, noodle-filled liquid into the white bowl. “Just gather the others,” Manson snarled, the anger in his voice making her tense. With a now shaking hand, she filled the can just less than halfway with water and poured it into the bowl. She then put the bowl in the microwave and set the time to four minutes.

“Okay, okay. Just take it easy man,” Ginger said disarmingly before the retreating clump of boot steps was heard.

Still slightly aroused despite how afraid she was of the now fuming singer, Raven avoided his heated gaze as she grabbed a spoon and sat at the table to await her food. With a growl, Manson sat at the opposite side of the table, glowering at the entryway to the kitchen. It was then that Amanda came walking in, shaking her head; her mass of curls bouncing as she did so. “I'm going to bed. It has been a long, weird day. Are you sure you're okay?” asked the brown haired female, yawning widely.

Raven looked at the rock star who honestly shouldn't even be in her kitchen at this moment, a blush rising on her cheeks as their eyes met. “Erm...,” she began, sounding nervous and hesitant. She wasn't so sure about being left alone with the singer. It wasn't that she thought he would take advantage of her, it was more like she felt extremely awkward in his presence.

“She'll be fine. I'll make sure she eats and goes to bed,” he replied, mischief replacing irritation as his eyes locked with hers.

“Well, thank you 'Raven',” she replied, rolling her green eyes before she wandered out of the kitchen and up the stairs.

“You know, you could probably take that off now,” he suggested, gesturing to the trench-coat she still wore with an amused smile on his black lips.

Raven startled, looking at the trench-coat with a blush. “Y-yes, I'm sorry. You must want your coat back,” she replied, rushing to take off the heavy, leather coat.

“There was no need to remove it if you didn't want to,” he stated with a chuckle. Raven's pale face went red as she realized she had probably made a fool of herself.

Suddenly the microwave dinged and Raven practically flew out of the chair in her rush to put some distance between her and Manson. As she took the steaming bowl out gingerly, she heard a huge commotion as what sounded like a herd of talking elephants came into the house. Raven turned to see four blonde men with varying hairdos standing in the doorway of the kitchen. Blinking, Raven carried the hot bowl to the table, set it down and sat down. “So, maybe you can tell us why we moved in here?” asked a pale man that had the same hair-do as Ginger. His red painted lips were pursed in irritation.

“Well, I wanted to get to know my new girlfriend of course,” he stated, as if it made all the sense in the world.

Raven, who had been taking in a spoonful of soup, nearly spat the hot liquid out at the statement. Forcing herself to swallow instead, she looked at Manson with wide, hopeful and yet confused eyes. He couldn't have meant that could he? They had only met in person once and the meeting hadn't been for very long. Surely he couldn't have already made up his mind to date her, right? “You coulda just called her,” the man from before hissed, crossing his black clad arms.

“What I do and don't do isn't really any of your concern John,” Manson growled, danger dripping from his voice.

“It concerns me when you move me practically across the country for some pussy!” he snarled, his red lips pulled in a sneer. All three of the members looked at John as if he had grown two heads and backed away from him.

The reason for that became evident when, in a flash, Manson was on John; shoving the man against the wall of the entryway with a firm grip on his neck. “Don't  ever talk about Raven that way again if you value your job,” Manson hissed, his mismatched eyes narrowed in rage as he tightened his grip on the other man's neck.

Raven watched the scene, fear filling her as Manson continued to glare at the choking band member in his grip. John was trying desperately to remove the singer's hand from his neck, his face beginning to turn an alarming shade of blue. “Marilyn!” Raven found herself shouting, trying to draw his attention away from the unfortunate man. Manson turned to face her, still holding onto John's throat as the guitar player wheezed desperately. The rage in his mismatched eyes almost made her gasp as fear threatened to paralyze her.

Gathering all the courage she could muster, she said, “Let him go. I think he gets the point.” To her surprise Manson immediately released John, allowing the man to crumple to the floor. The other three looked at her with a mix of awe and adoration which only added to her discomfort. Deciding to go back to eating, she ignored their gazes as best as she could while she shoveled soup into her mouth. At this point all she wanted to do was finish her food, go upstairs and hide in her room. Everything was becoming overwhelming for her and she needed time to process everything that had happened.

As she finished her food, she was unhappy to find all of the band staring at her. Manson watched her carefully, his mismatched eyes focused on her as she took her bowl to the sink. “Let me introduce my band,” he offered, all traces of his previous rage gone. Raven found herself wondering if he was always so bipolar. The first member to step forward was the mohawked man who had been arguing with Amanda earlier. His kohl surrounded brown eyes shined with a slight insanity as his red painted lips curled into a perverted leer.

“This is Pogo, a.k.a. Madonna Wayne Gacy. He's our keyboardist,” Manson introduced, gesturing to the black clad man who was now bowing to her. Pogo took her pale hand in his, brushing a gentle kiss on the top.

“A pleasure,” he purred, only chuckling when Manson growled at him warningly. With a not too sane grin, Pogo stepped back into line.

The next to step forward was the acne scarred man who had walked in on them earlier. “This is Ginger Fish. He's the drummer,” Manson stated, glaring at Pogo. Ginger smiled at her kindly, looking back at Manson for permission. Manson nodded, a smirk on his black lips. Ginger then gathered her in a gentle hug.

“Welcome to the family,” he said as he pulled away, a smile on his red lips.

'Family'?! This was all happening so fast it was making Raven's head spin. She watched as the next person stepped forward, trying desperately not to just bolt up the stairs. The guy only had hair on the top of his head. It was long, blonde and combed to the right, hanging down to his ear. “This is Tim Skold. He's our bassist,” Manson introduced, his mismatched eyes fixing on her. It was almost as if he could sense she was about to run away.

Tim approached her, his kohl surrounded brown eyes boring into her hazel eyes. Without a word, he shook her hand; a small smile on his red painted lips. Then he went back into line, glaring at John who glared back. Manson shot John a warning glare, clearly warning him to step forward. Reluctantly, John stepped forward, his brown eyes hard and full of anger. “This is John 5. He's our guitarist,” Manson growled, watching John closely.

John glowered at Raven, a snarl on his red painted lips. It looked as if he was dying to say something really nasty but held himself back due to Manson being right there. He merely gave her a nod before he joined his band mates again. “Now, you've met everyone and had some food. Time for you to get some sleep,” the singer suggested, glaring at John.

Raven very nearly bolted up the stairs, in a hurry to put some distance between herself and the situation downstairs. Just as she reached the landing, she heard John's voice from below. “Goddammit not again! She's a fuckin' gold digger just like the rest of them are! You should know better than to get involved with fans after the last time!” John yelled, his voice full of anger as well as worry. There was a sudden slam, causing Raven to wince as she assumed the guitarist had been slammed against a wall again.

“She's different! Didn't you hear the way she sang 'Last Day on Earth'?” Manson snarled angrily.

Suddenly feeling tired and sad, Raven went into her room and shut the door. John had every right to assume she was a gold digger. After all she barely knew Manson and he wanted to be in a relationship with her. Her heart clenched in her chest as hurt began to fill her. A lot of other people would assume the same thing. None of them would ever see that she truly loved the man, had loved him from afar for years in fact. Feeling a bit like a stalker as well as an obsessed fan-girl, Raven curled up on top of her covers and sighed.

A small weight landed on the bed suddenly, making Raven sit up to see what it was. Seeing her black dog staring at her, she smiled and gave the canine a fond pet. “What do I do now Lady? Everything I ever wanted to happen is suddenly happening and I feel so lost and confused. Its all happening so quick!” she confessed, scratching the dog's floppy ears. Lady only huffed softly, laying down on the deep red covers.

Raven sighed, looking up at her closed door. She wondered if she could even sleep knowing she was in a house with someone she had lusted after for years. “God, I just don't know what to do! Do I just go with it and see what happens?” she asked herself out loud. Sighing in confusion as well as frustration, Raven laid back and closed her hazel eyes. Maybe tomorrow things would make more sense.


	4. Welcome to My Madhouse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Raven will find out that having a house full of band members isn't all it's cracked up to be. I feel so bad for poor Amanda. XD; (Also I may prioritize this story over others for a bit. Been wanting to work on it for years)

Raven had been drifting in the warm comfort of sleep when a sudden scream jolted her awake. Shooting straight up in the bed, she blinked blearily as she tried to discern what was going on. “What the  fuck did you assholes  do ?!” came an angry female voice from downstairs. In a rush, all the memories of what happened last night came back. With a groan, Raven looked at the clock by her bed. 6:00 a.m., way too early to deal with any of this.

Rubbing her tired eyes, the black haired female swung her long legs out of the bed and went to her dresser. With a deep sigh she pulled out a pair of black jeans, then shuffled through her shirts praying she had a shirt that wasn't Marilyn Manson. To her relief she had several black t-shirts and she pulled one free. She then lifted the over-sized Marilyn Manson t-shirt over head, discovering that she had no bra on. “Oh shit... I hope he didn't notice,” she murmured, her face going crimson as she put on a bra. It was then that she saw the shirt she had on during her 'illness' last night and went pale.

The stereo, a system that had cost $500, now stood in a heap of parts and wires in front of her. It almost looked as if it had been struck with a mallet. “I threw it against the wall,” Pogo replied, looking all too proud of himself.

“Why the fuck would you do  that ?!” Amanda screamed, her pale face turning red from rage.

“It kept skipping,” he replied simply, as if his answer was a perfectly reasonable one.

“Did you ever stop to think that the problem might be your CD or that the stereo was someone else's property?!” she hissed, her hands clenched in tight fists.

“Nope!” Pogo replied, a smirk on his red lips as he watched the curly haired woman fume. This one was a lot of fun to piss off.

“That stereo cost $500!” she screeched, seeing red.

“And I'll gladly get you another one. Now stop that horrible screaming! Its way too fuckin' early to deal with this,” came an irritated male voice from behind her.

Amanda whirled around, her heated words dying on her lips as she took in just how Manson looked. His mismatched eyes were horribly bloodshot and he had dark rings under his eyes. His black hair stood up every which way as he stumbled into the kitchen. Setting her jaw, the small female followed him. “Do you really think just getting me another one will placate me? One of your band members broke my property!” she snarled, poking him in the back.

Manson whirled around, a muscle in his jaw ticking as he glared down at the brown haired woman. “Please, stop yelling. I have a really bad hangover and every noise is like a knife in my brain. Now, what's the difference if I just replace it? Its not as if you have to buy it again,” he responded softly before turning around to rummage in the cupboards.

What he said gave Amanda pause. He was right, if he bought a new one it really shouldn't matter. Then again it wasn't just the loss of the stereo that bothered her, it was the fact that one of his band had disregarded her property. “Well, I suppose if you replace it that it would be okay. I just don't want any more of my things to be broken,” she responded.

Manson tugged out two bottles of alcohol and a short glass. Then he poured a small amount of a green liquid from a bottle labeled 'Absinthe'. Deftly, he crumbled a sugar cube into the licorice smelling fluid. Then he added a small amount of Vodka and swirled the fluids around in the glass. “Isn't a little early in the day to be drinking?” Amanda asked with a brow quirked.

“Ever hear of hair of the dog that bit you?” he asked grouchily before knocking the fluid back. He set the glass down on the counter, shuddering as warmth spread through his body. Then his gaze focused solely on the entryway, a smile curling his lips.

Raven stood in the doorway, watching the small exchange between Manson and Amanda. It seemed as if Manson's fame didn't matter one whit to the tiny woman. Raven found herself envious of her friend's confidence. She was trying to pluck up the courage to even go in the kitchen and her roommate had the bravery to be locked in an argument with the man. That was when his eyes landed on her and a smile appeared on his pale, make-upless face. “I take it the commotion woke you up too?” he purred, slowly walking toward her.

Raven's pale face went red as he got closer, still remembering how she found the shirt she had been wearing before the hospital trip had been on the floor. How could she not have noticed she was wearing an entirely different shirt? Looking up at the singer who was rapidly closing the distance between them she found her answer, she had been far too distracted by the odd goings on. She found it happening again as her embarrassment fled for breathless flusterment as he stopped mere inches from her. Her hazel eyes met his mismatched eyes and she felt as if she couldn't breathe for a moment. His eyes were staring down at her, full of deep affection, lust and amusement.

“Good morning,” he purred, pressing his lithe body against hers and lowered his face to hers slowly.

Raven found herself holding her breath, her whole body tingling as his lips stopped just a hair from touching hers. Then he was kissing her, purring deeply as he wrapped his arms around her thin waist. Raven's hazel eyes fluttered shut as she fairly melted into the gentle kiss, her arms coming up to wrap around his neck. One of her hands tangled in his hair as he gently, yet insistently, licked her lips. With a small gasp, she opened to him; timidly rubbing her tongue along his as he probed her mouth. This small action caused him to growl in approval, holding her tighter and deepening the kiss.

Slowly, he broke the kiss; resting his forehead against hers as he breathed harshly. The cause for his breathing became apparent as Raven noticed a steel hardness pressing into her thigh. Her face going crimson, the black haired female felt her stomach dip like it was on a roller-coaster at the realization. Helpless arousal burned through her body as she found herself slightly proud that she had this effect on him. “Mmm, I could get used to mornings like this,” he purred in a rough, husky voice, his burning eyes fixed on her. Then he released her to her slight disappointment.

Already missing his closeness, Raven blushed and went to the fridge to grab a Red Pop. Grateful for the cool air of the fridge on her flaming face, Raven lingered a bit longer than she needed to before she pulled back and shut it. That was when she noticed Amanda grinning widely at her, waggling her eyebrows. “Oh shut it!” Raven snarled, her face going a brick red as she angrily twisted the white top off her soda.

Amanda snickered, making a small wolf whistle noise before she went to grab herself some coffee. As much as she teased Raven, she was happy her friend was happy. As huge of an asshole as Manson was, it certainly seemed as if he loved the black haired woman. If he hurt her though he was in for a world of hurt. Watching Raven nervously trying to keep from looking at the singer with a grin of amusement, Amanda sipped her coffee. She was almost sorry she would have to leave to go to work soon.

As she began to sip her soda, Raven remembered the shirt and nearly spat out the precious red liquid. Swallowing and going deep red, she found herself avoiding the performer's gaze as embarrassment filled her. From the looks of the shirt, he had changed her for a good reason but that didn't help her feeling of shame. She was deeply ashamed of how her body looked due to years of mental abuse from her father. Being seen naked by someone that meant as much to her as the singer did almost made her want to sob. What if he thought she was hideous?

Manson, seeing her get rather distraught for seemingly no reason, pulled a chair up next to her and sat down. “What's wrong?” he asked, concern thick in his voice as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. To his surprise she flinched as if she was afraid.

“Hey, its okay,” he whispered, only tightening his hold.

“Y-you... d-did you change m-my sh-shirt last night?” she whispered, so quietly that he could barely hear.

“Yes, but I didn't see anything. I was looking away the whole time,” he responded. He was now curious as to why the thought of him seeing her naked had caused such a violent reaction but he wouldn't ask. Whatever the reason, it was deeply disturbing to her and he wanted her to tell him when she was ready.

Relief filled her as she slowly relaxed. All her shame and anxiety melted away as she slumped. For a moment it had almost felt as if she would have a heart attack. How would she ever be able to make love to Manson if she couldn't even bare the thought of him seeing her naked? The thought gave her pause. Would it be fair to be in a relationship with him if she couldn't have sex with him? Could she even get over this fear in the first place? As her thoughts began to drag her into a deep depression, Raven found herself jerked out by her chin being yanked to the side and up as Manson's lips captured hers.

Manson watched as despair began to etch itself on Raven's face, concern written all over his face. In desperation; he grabbed her chin, yanked her head to face him and captured her lips in a tender kiss. He poured all his feelings into the kiss as he held her close. To his relief, she relaxed against him; beginning to respond to his gentle kiss.

At first Raven was shocked by the tenderness of the kiss; feeling love, lust and concern through some sort of link created by their lips. All her worries and dark thoughts were swept away by the sheer power of her love for the man that was currently trying to comfort her. Embracing Manson back, Raven began to respond with her own feelings; hoping he can feel them the same way she can feel his. Her question is quickly answered by his arms tightening around her as he licked her lips once.

Just as she was about to open her mouth, she heard a throat being cleared. Manson's mouth left hers and she found herself slowly turning to look at Amanda. Her friend was looking at her with a rather amused look as she took a sip of her coffee. “Just reminding you that I'm still here,” the curly haired female stated, sounding amused.

Raven found herself wanting to curl up and die as her face flamed from embarrassment. All she wanted to do was crawl under the table and hide for a bit. “Mmm quite,” was all Raven could manage, suddenly finding the floral patterned table cloth rather interesting.

“In all seriousness, I happy for you Megs,” Amanda replied softly, finishing her coffee.

“My name is Raven,” the black haired female protested weakly, blushing even more as Manson pulled her close again.

“I'll have to remember that nickname,” he purred in her ear, his voice dripping with mischief.

“You do and I'll call you Bri-Bri,” she snarled, whipping her head back to face him.

“You're not serious,” he replied, sounding absolutely horrified. His mismatched eyes were filled with disbelief as well as disgust.

“Deadly,” she hissed, her hazel eyes narrowing as she poked his bony chest for emphasis. Her eyes had a hard steel edge that told him she would do exactly as she threatened.

“Okay! You win!” he growled in exasperation, throwing his arms up. Raven nodded before taking a deep swig of her soda and belching loudly.

Amanda rolled her eyes and Manson stared at her with a mix of disbelief, shock and amusement. “Oh she does that every morning,” the curly haired female grumbled, waving it off. Then she brushed off her tan slacks, straightened her red top and grabbed her purse.

“I'll be home at around 6 p.m. Try to not let them destroy the house,” she pleaded, focusing her green eyes more on Manson than Raven. Both Raven and Manson nodded in response and she sighed. She only half believed the house would still be standing when she got home.

As soon as Amanda was gone, Raven squirmed out of Manson's grasp. Now that she was alone with the performer a deep nervousness filled her. Manson obviously had no problems displaying his affection in front of others. There was no telling what he would do when he was alone with her. Managing a weak smile, she scampered to the cupboards to rummage for food. She wasn't really hungry yet but she needed some distance between herself and the rock star.

Manson watched her prepare a plate of frozen pizza rolls with a look of amusement on his face. She was so adorable when she was nervous. With an almost predatory grin, he got out of the chair and prowled towards her. His bare feet making him nearly silent, he easily snuck up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and placing his chin on her left shoulder.

Raven eeped, nearly jumping out of her skin as he embraced her. “Quite a glamorous breakfast,” he purred, his voice vibrating against her neck. Going a bit weak in the knees at how close he was, she shakily put the plate of pizza rolls in the microwave and put in a time.

“Well, I know it isn't the caviar and filet mignon you're used to but it keeps the engine running,” she replied, trying and failing to keep her voice steady. He chuckled in reply, the vibrations from it running through her neck and causing low shocks of arousal to wash through her body.

“I prefer a bowl of Lucky Charms myself,” he replied, resting his warm hands on her hips. He placed a soft kiss on her neck with a low growl.

“I could just as easily have you for breakfast instead,” he purred heatedly, pressing his arousal against her butt.

Raven's hazel eyes went wide and she had to use the white marble of the counter to stay standing as her knees almost entirely went out. The combination of his voice, lips and arousal pressed against her was enough to make her so aroused that she was shaking slightly. She was amazed and slightly afraid that he had this effect on her body. “Oh, Manson,” she heard her voice moaning as she pressed back into him. It almost felt as if she was having an out of body experience, her inner voice was so divided from her body. Surely that couldn't be her that was whimpering in need as the black haired man nibbled her neck gently.

A sudden crash jerked them both out of their lust-filled trance, both turning to look at the living room across the house. “I'll go. You stay here and eat,” Manson snarled, a pained look on his face. The reason for his discomfort was made evident by the erection that was pressing against the fabric of his black jeans. Noticing this, Raven quickly turned back to face the microwave and nodded. She took the opportunity to try to slow her heartbeat and calm her body down. Her arousal was still there but was going down to a low boil instead of overflowing her.

As the microwave dinged she heard Manson yell, “Pogo! What the fuck?!” from the living room. Knowing her food was going to need some time to cool anyway, Raven cautiously made her way to the living room and peeked in. Her jaw dropped at what she saw and she nearly fainted. The huge, flat-screen TV had been toppled onto the floor and had broken in half. Right next to the TV stood the mohawked Pogo, grinning his fool head off. Manson stood in front of Pogo, his right hand pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Dude, there was nothing on,” he replied, a crooked smile on his pale face.

“So don't watch TV! Pogo, we've been through this a hundred times! If there's nothing on, just watch a movie or go do something else. Don't destroy the fucking TV,” Manson gritted out, sounding as if he was using all the patience he had.

“What the fuck do  you  care? I always pay for what I break,” Pogo replied, sounding almost offended.

“That's not the point,” Raven found herself interjecting, flinching when they both focused on her. Pogo stared at her, mischief in his brown eyes as he smirked at her.

“What is the point?” he purred, insanity and lust shining in his brown orbs. Manson growled at Pogo in warning, drawing himself up to his full height and watching the other man closely.

“Th-the point is that most people don't like to have their belongings broken in the first place,” she replied, keeping her eyes locked with his. Something about the mohawked man before her made her feel not quite safe.

Pogo tensed, about to argue his point further when he felt a firm hand on his arm. He turned to see Manson glaring at him with his whitish blue and brown eyes. “Just don't break anything else,” he warned, his eyes hard and demanding. Knowing very well what that look meant, Pogo nervously nodded before running out of the room and up the stairs.

Raven stood there for a moment, feeling a bit dumbfounded. Shaking her head slightly, she simply turned and went back into the kitchen. Sitting down, she began to eat; trying to ignore Manson as he came in. “Raven,” he whispered, his voice soft but demanding. Swallowing her mouthful of pizza roll, Raven looked up to see him looking at her from the entryway of the kitchen. It looks as if he wants to say something. Just as he's about to open his mouth, a soft bark makes both of them jump.

Lady came trotting down the stairs, stopping to sniff at the legs of Manson's jeans. Once she figured out that Manson wasn't a threat, the mutt wandered over to her food dish and began to eat. “That's Lady. I've had her since senior year in high school,” Raven explained, watching the dog with a fond look on her face.

“What  is  she?” Manson asked, looking at the fluffy mutt who swished her curly tail at the sound of his voice.

“A cocker spaniel/lab mix. I'm honestly surprised she didn't just go hide upstairs. She's usually very timid around strangers,” Raven replied, a bit of wonder coming into her voice as she finished her breakfast.

Almost as if she had been called, the medium sized canine came trotting over and sat in front of her owner. “Do you wanna go outside?” Raven asked teasingly. The dog jumped to her feet, her curly tail wagging wildly.

“Do ya wanna go outside?” she asked, smiling as she got up and headed to the door. Lady was dancing all around her, making excited woofing noises and jumping on Raven's legs.

“Sit,” Raven commanded, waiting until Lady was sitting before opening the door and grabbing the lead. Once it was clipped to her collar, Lady was gone like a shot. Shutting the door, Raven turned to see Manson staring at her with an amused grin on his face.  'Oh right, I forgot about him,' she thought to herself as she turned bright red from embarrassment.

“Erm, yes well... I have to get to work now,” she stated before she sprinted up the stairs and into her room. Unfortunately work was more of a from home thing for her as she was a free-lance artist.

Raven collapsed on her bed with a sigh, wondering if she would even be able to get any work done with how aroused her body was. She was so horny that it felt as if just the brush of her panties against her slit would be enough to make her cum. This was all Manson's fault for being so sexy, not to mention what his mere presence did to her body. “I'm not going to get anything done until I take care of this,” she grumbled frustratedly.

With a defeated sigh, Raven rolled onto her back, unbuttoned her pants and removed them. “This is so ridiculous. Here I am, masturbating to a rock god when I have him in my house and he very much wants to fuck me,” she whispered to herself as she slipped a hand under her silky, green panties. The lightest touch on her drenched flesh made her gasp and arch her back. She had no idea she was  that  close. Panting, she closed her eyes and imagined it was Manson's hand gently teasing her aching core.

Manson had come upstairs to begin putting on his make-up, stopping outside Raven's door when he heard a soft moan. Every muscle in his body went tense as he fought against the urge to go in. “Oh Manson, don't stop,” came a soft moan, barely audible through the thick wood. That small utterance was enough to make him toss his control to the wind as he slowly opened the door and crept inside. As he shut the door behind him, he took in the sight before him with hungry eyes.

Raven was sprawled on her back, one hand inside her lime green panties and her other hand under her shirt. A soft whimper escaped her lips as the hand under her shirt brushed a nipple. “Oh I'm so close Marilyn,” she gasped breathlessly, her hips undulating under her hand.

“If you wanted me to do that, all you had to do was ask,” he purred, his voice deep and husky with lust.

Raven's eyes shot open, her hand flew out of her panties and she shot up into a sitting position on her bed. She was pulling the hem of her shirt over her lap, her face flushed from arousal and embarrassment. Her whole body seemed to vibrate from just how close she had come to orgasming.  “M-manson,” she gasped in a shaky, lust-filled voice.

“Yessss?” he hissed, his voice rough and full of promise.

“Oh god... you saw... you  heard ...,” she whispered in a shaky voice, her body still teetering on the very cusp of orgasm.

“I did. You were calling for me after all. I'm here now, was there something you  needed ,” he purred, his husky voice running over her skin like silk.

“Oh, oh I... I...,” she gasped, shuddering helplessly; caught somewhere between mortification and a desperate need to cum, “Oh, please... j-just go.”

“No, I don't think that's what you want at all,” he growled softly, his voice strained and full of need. He slowly prowled toward her, his erection pressing uncomfortably against the fabric of his jeans.

“N-no, I do. I m-mean, I just... I've never,” she whimpered, leaning toward him despite herself.

“Shh, its okay. We won't do anything you aren't ready for. I just want to help you. I want to actually be here for your orgasm if you're going to fantasize about me anyway,” he responded, his voice thick and hoarse as he crawled onto the bed. His mismatched eyes are fixed on her, filled with a hunger that almost frightened her.

“B-but, I,” she whispered, flinching a bit as he pressed close to her and took her into his arms.

“Shh, trust me,” he whispered, breathing harshly as he ran his right hand down her side. Biting her lower lip, Raven watched as Manson moved his hand to her stomach and rubbed the hem of her panties.

“Will you let me help?” he purred heatedly into her ear, running a finger over her silk covered slit. Raven went stiff in his arms, making a whimpering noise as her legs fell open.

“D-d-do y-you really want to do this?” she asked, embarrassment, wonder and lust laced in her timid voice.

“What do you think?” he growled heatedly, rubbing her silk covered womanhood again.

“O-ooh,” she gasped, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“Let me touch you,” he purred, nipping her neck gently while giving her another stroke through her panties.

“Ooooh, Mmmmansooon,” she groaned breathlessly, grinding against his hand.

“Yesssss?” he hissed, pressing a finger hard against her sopping opening.

“Oh, please! T-touch m-me,” she whimpered, her face going red briefly from embarrassment.

Manson's breath hitched in his chest as he gently slid his hand into her panties. He groaned as his fingers came into contact with her heated, drenched flesh. “You're so wet. Is all of this for me?” he growled heatedly against her ear, giving her engorged clit a brief flick.

Raven stiffened, giving a strangled cry as an electric charge of pleasure raced through her from just that brief touch. “So sensitive,” he purred roughly, rubbing a finger along her wet opening. Raven's hips jerked as she bit her lower lip and buried her heated face into his chest.

“That's it, cum for me,” he growled, grazing her clit with his index finger. Raven gasped, bucking her hips into his hand; a small moan escaping her lips.

Suddenly, despite how close she was to being tipped over that sweet edge, her shyness came rising to the surface. She became extremely aware just who it was that was rubbing her womanhood and went tense. Manson, seeming to sense this, stilled his hand but didn't remove it. “Please, let me do this for you,” he whispered, panting harshly.

“I... I...,” she stammered, whimpering and wanting desperately to cum by his hand. Yet her shyness was becoming overwhelming and she found herself wanting nothing more than to hide.

“I can't,” she whimpered, looking away from his burning gaze.

“Please, don't make me stop. Let me do this for you,” he begged, nuzzling her neck but keeping the hand in her panties still.

“I-I.. I just can't,” she gasped out, all of it becoming far too much. She desperately wanted to acquiesce but her shyness had turned into outright panic.

With a low growl, he slowly pulled his hand free; deliberately giving her still protruding pearl a quick flick before removing his hand. Giving her a furious glare, he got off her bed and left her room; slamming the door behind him.

As soon as he was gone, Raven broke into ragged sobs; curling up on her side. She desperately wanted to call him back, to apologize. Her body already missed his touch and her still aroused womanhood pulsed painfully. “For fuck's sake, what is your problem?!” she snarled at herself, angry tears rolling down her cheeks. Why did she have to let her shyness get in the way?! As she heard the front door slam downstairs and a car roar down the driveway, Raven wondered if he was going to come back.


	5. Heartbreak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mini Disclaimer to Cover My Butt: I don't know Johnny Depp in real life. This is just fiction, for fun and I make no profit from this.

After a half hour, Raven had timidly ventured downstairs, peeking into the living room. Instead of the destruction that had been in the room just a short time ago was a new stereo and TV. Three of the band members lounged on the gray couch while John 5 sat in one of the arm chairs. All four of them were watching Scooby-Doo raptly while munching on a shared bowl of popcorn. The entire scene was so surreal that Raven had to take a step back and pinch herself.

The sharp pinch made her wince but assured her that the strange scene in front of her was real. The majority of the band, Marilyn Manson, was watching a doofy cartoon. Feeling laughter beginning to bubble up inside her, Raven ran to the kitchen and out the back door. Once the door was shut, the black haired female collapsed in a fit of laughter. Lady, who had been snuffling in a bush, came trotting over and gave Raven's bare arm a lick.

After her laughter had died to a trickle of giggles, she gave her dog a fond ruffle before returning to the house. Lady came trotting close behind, sitting on the kitchen floor and waiting for the lead to be unclipped. Rolling her eyes and smiling, Raven knelt and unclipped her dog. Lady immediately scampered off, looking around for Mystery.

Shaking her head, she wandered back into the living room. Mystery sat on Ginger's lap, glaring down at Lady who was wuffing at her softly. It seemed like Lady wanted to play while Mystery wanted no part of it. Ginger chuckled softly and gave the overweight cat a fond scratch behind her pointed ears. Pogo leaned back, his brown gaze suddenly catching her.

Sitting up quickly, a sly grin curled his red painted lips as he got to his feet. Tim, who sat on his left, grabbed Pogo's black clad arm and glared up at him. Pogo glared right back, yanking his sleeve out of Tim's hold. Straightening his long sleeve, black, button-up shirt; Pogo prowled toward Raven with a smirk on his face. “So, what's in the sketch book,” he purred, pointing to the large rectangle she just remembered she was holding.

Face going crimson, the nervous female clutched the huge book to her chest tightly. Most of the sketches in there were for clients but some way in the back were personal. Most of them were animal versions of the band that lived in her house. The one that took up the majority were drawings of Manson as a lion. “Pogo, leave her alone. Manson will have your head if you touch her,” Ginger grumbled, sounding annoyed.

“Psh. I don't see why it matters. He left to get a whore a while ago,” John 5 snarled, his brown eyes shining maliciously.

Hurt filled her in a cold rush, her heart feeling like it had been shattered into a million pieces. She was dimly aware of Ginger scolding John as she left the room on numb legs. She found herself walking out the front door, still holding her large sketch book to her chest as she walked. Not really paying attention where her feet were taking her, Raven walked numbly.

After an endless time of walking she finally ended up in a park and sat down on a wooden bench. Lowering her black haired head to her pale hands, she finally began to sob softly. After all the tenderness, the kissing, what she had almost let him do; he had gone to get a whore. A sharp knife of pain twisted in her heart at the thought. Yet, despite the pain, she couldn't bring herself to be mad. He was a man, a man with needs and she couldn't provide for those needs just yet. It only made sense that he would try to find a source of relief elsewhere. Still, none of that helped her feel any less betrayed. “For fuck's sake, its not as if you have any claim to him right now,” she whispered to herself harshly, gripping strands on her black hair with her pale fingers.

“Hey, you okay?” asked an unfamiliar voice from in front of her.

Looking up, Raven was almost taken aback by whom she saw. In front of her stood none other than Johnny Depp who was looking down at her with concern filled brown eyes. His shoulder length black hair was tied in a ponytail and he wore blue jeans and a red t-shirt. Trying not to let it show just how star struck seeing such a big star had made her, Raven managed a weak smile. “Y-yeah, I guess,” she murmured, her voice still shaky from her deep sorrow.

“It doesn't sound like you're okay,” he replied, sitting next to the black haired female and looking at her closely. He had light facial hair on his upper lip and chin and Raven found herself having an urge to feel how soft it was. Shaking herself, she turned her gaze away from him; focusing on the grass under her platform boots.

“I don't want to bore you with my problems,” she whispered, swinging her black jeans covered legs gently. In spite of her perfectly calm demeanor, on the inside she was fan-girling really hard. All of the actor's roles came to her mind and she was finding it increasingly hard to act like she was just talking to another person.

“If I didn't want to hear about them, I wouldn't have asked,” he quipped playfully. Raven sighed heavily, looking up at him shyly.

“I'm having some... relationship problems I guess,” she murmured, not liking how unsure she sounded. Could she even call whatever was going on with Manson a relationship?

“You don't sound too sure,” he responded, keeping his gaze on her face.

“Well, we don't know each other that well actually. We only met in person once. Also there's the complication that he's famous and I've been obsessed with him for most of my life,” she found herself confessing. Despite how damning she felt her confession was, she had a feeling Johnny would understand.

“Who is it? Anyone I would know?” he asked, a hint of amusement in his voice.

“I'm not sure. Do you know Marilyn Manson?” she replied, unable to look him in the eyes.

“I thought you looked familiar,” he replied, amusement replaced by sympathy.

Memories of the paparazzi swarming them at the hospital filled her head and she went a deep red as she burrowed her flaming face in her hands. “How bad is it?” she asked in a quiet, timid voice.

“Not too bad. Most of them are speculating why he was with you at the hospital and who you are to him. Only a small portion of the sleaziest ones have used the pictures of him carrying you,” Johnny responded as he leaned forward while still looking at her.

“Oh god. Do any of them have my name or address?” she whimpered, beginning to shake from fear. If they printed her name or address she would become a huge target for the raving fan-girls.

“No, thankfully they haven't been able to get the information yet,” he answered, his pale brow knitting in concern from her reaction.

“Oh thank Christ,” she hissed, slumping forward in relief. After a few seconds she straightened, leaned back and closed her hazel eyes.

“So, what kind of relationship problems have you been having?” he asked quietly.

“Everything is happening too damn fast. He gets... touchy.. sometimes and it feels like he's already wanting a physical relationship. I have nothing against that but I can't just jump in like that! I need to get to know the person very well before I can trust them and I have to trust them before...,” she confessed, her eyes still closed. Her voice sounded tired and sad.

“He went to get a whore, didn't he,” Johnny asked bluntly, his voice cold and full of anger.

Raven leaned forward, burying her face in her hands as she let out a heart-wrenching sob. That was all the answer the actor needed as he gently took her into a hug. His brown eyes stared straight ahead, his mouth in a grim, angry line. Cheating on your partner was one of the worst things anyone could do in his opinion, it was all he could do not to go looking for the singer. As it was he couldn't leave the sobbing woman alone. Making comforting noises, he just held her close and pet her back gently.

Once she had calmed, Raven pulled away and wiped the tears from her eyes. “I'm sorry. This really isn't your problem,” she whispered in a shaky voice, her hand clenched in the material of her shirt. Her heart felt like it was clenched in a vice and more sobs rose thickly in her throat.

“I'm such an idiot! I'm nothing compared to someone like him! He could have any woman he wants! Who am I to think he would want to be with me,” she snarled, her voice breaking as a sob escaped against her will.

“No, you're never an idiot for being in love. He's the idiot for leaving someone like you behind so he can find a whore,” Johnny's deep voice growled as he pulled her into another embrace. Seeing anyone this distraught always made him want to comfort them.

“Its all my fault anyway. I can't provide for his needs just yet,” she whispered in a defeated voice.

“Stop that! Its no one's fault but his own for not being able to control himself! If he really cared about you, he would find a way to control his urges! He wouldn't leave to find a whore to relieve himself!” the actor snarled, venom dripping from his voice as he tightened his hold on her. He had heard this heartbreak from so many broken starlets. Had heard this same self blame and defeat in many female voices. All them had been dating someone in the industry and it sickened him. How could his fellows be so callous to those they supposedly loved?!

After a few moments of sobbing, Raven finally pulled back with a watery sigh. “Thank you,” she whispered softly, her eyes focused on her black jean clad legs.

“What's your name?” Johnny asked softly, his hands still on her shoulders.

“Raven,” she replied quietly, her voice sounding hollow and broken.

“I guess I don't really need an introduction do I,” he stated, a sliver of amusement slipping into his baritone voice.

“No, you're Johnny Depp,” Raven chuckled, looking up at him with a small smile.

“You know, I'm impressed. Most people freak out when they recognize me,” he observed, leaning back while still looking at her.

“I know and it must get exhausting. I figured that I should just treat you as another person since you were trying to comfort me,” she responded, her smile getting bigger.

“You're a strange person,” he remarked, returning her smile.

“I'll take that as a compliment. Thank you for hearing me out but I should get home,” Raven observed, getting to her feet and looking around. It was at that moment that she realized that she didn't really know where home was from here.

“Before you leave! Can I get your number?” Johnny asked, getting to his feet as well.

Raven, who had been looking around with a lost look on her face, startled slightly and turned to smile at him. “Sure! Just lend me your phone and I'll put it in,” she offered, her hazel eyes darting around unsurely.

“Are you lost?” he asked incredulously as he handed her his phone.

“Ehm, yes,” she admitted shyly as she typed in her number and handed his phone back.

“Well I know this city fairly well. If you give me your address I can drive you home,” he offered, opening his phone and calling the number she had put in.

Her phone tinkled in a generic ring tone as the unfamiliar number came up. With a smile, Raven hung up the phone and saved the number. She knew just the ring tone she would put in for her new acquaintance. “Thanks, that would be much appreciated,” she replied gratefully before she told him her address.

As they pulled up to the house, Raven quirked a brow; confused to see Amanda standing outside with Ginger. Both of them had their heads turned towards the house. “What on Earth is going on  now ?” Raven asked in an exasperated, tired voice as Johnny parked his sleek, black sports car in the driveway. Heaving a heavy sigh, the black haired female unbuckled her seat belt and got out of the car. As soon as she shut the car door, Amanda's head whipped in her direction and there was an alarmed look on her face. “Meag, er, Raven!” her friend shouted, moving to intercept her from coming any closer to the house.

Raven moved to stand by the driver's side of the car, stopping in her tracks as Amanda crowded against her. “So, uhm, how 'bout we go out to dinner! Right now!” she exclaimed, her green eyes unnaturally wide and frantic. Raven looked over her friend's head to see sympathy and anger written all over Ginger's pale face.

“What's going on Mandy,” Raven asked, her voice quiet and holding an impatient edge as Johnny got out of the car behind her.

“Well, its just that... holy crap! Is that Johnny Depp?!” the curly haired female gasped, her expression going from concern to awe in a split second. Her green eyes immediately landed on the devastatingly handsome actor as he slid from the car.

“Yes, but focus! Tell me what the hell is going on in there,” Raven growled, her patience wearing thin. She had, had a very difficult day and the way her friend was acting was only grating on her frayed nerves.

“Huh? Oh! Right! Oh shit. Right,” Amanda gasped, her voice going from startled to nervous as her eyes went back to Raven.

“Just, tell me,” the black haired female hissed, irritation in her voice.

“Well, uh, he brought her back,” her friend replied, ducking her brown, curly haired head slightly.

“Brought who...” Raven began, then realization crashed over her like a tidal wave. He had brought the whore back with him.

“They've been... apparently going at it for hours,” Amanda whispered, not daring to look her friend in the eye.

Raven felt her knees go weak as strong arms caught her from behind. It almost felt as if her heart had ceased to beat and she had trouble breathing. Her vision nearly going black, she was dimly aware of a male voice calling her name. Desperately forcing air into her lungs and forcing her heart to beat painfully, Raven tried to hang onto consciousness. Why did her heart have to hurt so damn bad? Gasping in pain with each breath, Raven steadied herself by hanging onto Johnny's forearm. She was unaware of the hot tears rolling down her pale cheeks.

Ginger came rushing forward, standing beside Amanda with concern on his face. “Raven, listen closely. I know what he did seems really bad but I accidentally heard something from his room. He was insisting on calling her your name,” he whispered, locking his eyes with hers.

“Wh-wha,” Raven gasped, a small bit of the pressure around her heart releasing. Did that mean that even though he was with this woman, all he was seeing was her? A warm feeling of pride rose through the fog of her shattered emotions. He wanted her desperately but was unwilling to push himself on her. Could she understand him needing her so bad that he used whores? Not wanting to think on it for the moment, Raven shoved all the recent events under a rug in her mind. She would deal with it all later.

“So, how 'bout that dinner,” she suggested with a weak smile to the fuming actor behind her.

“Yes, lets all go out and relax,” he replied, using his considerable acting skills to hide just how angry he was.

“Oh that sounds like fun! Would you like to come Ginger?” Amanda chirped, smiling at the bleach blonde beside her. Ginger smiled at her softly, his brown eyes sparkling with a tender emotion Raven immediately recognized. Ginger was in love with Amanda. Mentally rubbing her hands together evilly, Raven's hazel eyes sparkled with mischief. Maybe she would have to play matchmaker later.

Manson had the woman's hands tied behind her head with a black silk scarf as he roved his hands down her body. This would be the fifth time he took the woman tonight and yet he felt no satisfaction. The body under his hands was so frustratingly different than the one he craved. She may have the same color eyes and the same color hair but she just didn't hold a candle to the one he truly wanted writhing under his touch. Growling in frustrated need, he ghosted his black lips over the whore's taut, rosy nipple. The woman gasped from the brush, arching into his lips needily. “Does that feel good Raven,” he husked out, rubbing a thumb over her other nipple.

“C-cassandra,” the whore whimpered, gasping as he pinched her flesh roughly.

“Your name is Raven,” he snarled against her nipple, knowing that she only insisted on her real name to anger him. As much as he wanted to treat this woman like the virgin he longed to deflower, the woman kept plucking his temper and driving him to be rough. If it weren't for the fact that he was trying to act out his first night with his intended, he would have gagged her long ago to stop the behavior.

Trying to call her scent to his mind so that it replaced that of the imposter under him, Manson began kissing his way down her pale body. He tried to ignore how the shape of her body wasn't right, stopping just above her ebony curls and closing his eyes. It was Raven he was about to do this to, it was her gasps of pleasure he was hearing.

With his eyes still closed, he forced her pale legs open and burrowed his nose in her folds. Trying to pretend it was Raven's scent, he snaked his tongue out and tasted her slick flesh. The woman under him gasped and twitched, tangling a hand in his black hair. With a low growl, he licked her swollen pearl viciously; desperately trying to pretend the breathless groans he heard were from someone else. Soon he was rewarded by a flood of her juices in his eager mouth.

After he was done lapping up everything she had to offer, he crawled up her body; settling between her legs. Almost tenderly, the singer rested his make-up coated forehead against hers. “This will hurt a bit Raven,” he purred, rubbing the head of himself against her slick folds.

“Cass...,” she began to protest before he clapped a hand over her insolent mouth. His eyes burned with a danger that set her nerves on fire as the grip on her mouth turned painful.

“Shut. Up,” he hissed, a dangerous, desperate edge to his voice as he slowly slid into her. Once again the woman had made his fantasy slip and he was now fucking just another whore. His carefully woven illusion of Raven was shattered but he couldn't stop desperately thrusting into the moaning whore beneath him. Finally he stiffened with a snarl, emptying himself into the condom he wore.

“Get out,” he hissed through gritted teeth, rolling off the woman and facing away from her.

Cassandra shrugged, got dressed and gathered the money that had been thrown on the table earlier. She didn't take offense at his rudeness, she was in fact quite used to it. She was just thrilled she had been fucked by a rock star! She would have a juicy story to tell her girls on the corner for a few nights to come. With a satisfied smirk, she flounced out of the room and out of the house.

Manson heaved an irritated sigh as he tugged on his own clothes. This had never happened to him in all his years as a singer. He had never once felt like he had betrayed or cheated on any of his girlfriends, even through the endless stream of groupies. Tonight, though, he just felt dirty. Running a hand through his black hair with a frustrated growl, the performer opened his phone and dialed a number.

Raven was sitting beside Johnny Depp on one side of the square table while Ginger and Amanda sat on the other side. Amanda had quickly gotten over her fan-girl feelings for Johnny and was now chatting with him as if they were old friends. Ginger, on the other hand, was fiddling with his cloth napkin; his kohl surrounded brown eyes focused on the white tablecloth. “Hey Ginger, you okay?” Amanda asked, looking at him with concern.

Ginger startled, looking up at her with guilty brown eyes. “Er, yeah. Just, you know... thinking,” he murmured, looking away from her quickly, a slight blush on his pale cheeks. Raven smirked at him knowingly before her mood was shattered by a familiar ring tone. “Excuse me,” she said with a smile as she hurried away from the table and outside the restaurant.

Once out in the cool, early evening air, Raven flipped open her phone and reluctantly hit the answer button. “H-hello?” she whispered hoarsely, fighting the tears that itched in the back of her eyes.

“Raven?” came an uncharacteristically unsure male voice from the other end.

“Yes,” she responded shortly, her vision already beginning to triple as sobs began to hitch in her chest. She hadn't expected just hearing his voice over the phone would cause this strong of a reaction. All the hurt and betrayal from before washed through her in a flood.

“Where are you?” he rasped on the other end, sounding worried and desperate.

“I'm safe,” she replied simply, desperately trying to keep her voice steady as the sobs continued to hitch in her chest. Tears rolled freely down her pale cheeks as she tried to regain control of her emotions.

“Raven, please,” he begged.

“I don't... I can't be around you right now,” she whispered softly, a soft sob escaping her lips as she slid to the ground.

“Oh god, you know. Raven, please! Tell me where you are!” he yelled, desperation edging out worry in his strangled voice.

“I'm going to be with a friend tonight. Maybe longer. I need to sort out my feelings,” she whispered, sobbing again.

“Oh please. Don't do this,” he rasped, his voice rough and shaky.

“I'll be in touch,” she whispered shakily.

“I love you,” she murmured softly into the phone before she clicked it shut. Then the dam really broke. Resting her arms on her knees, Raven sobbed harshly; her shoulders shaking. Even though she knew he had seen nothing but her while with the whore it didn't stop it from feeling like the world was ending. The worst thing was that despite her own pain, she felt even worse for hurting Manson. The phone ringing in the now dreaded ring tone only tore another rough sob from her.

Suddenly she was being pulled into a rough hug and she raised her head to see someone knelt in front of her while holding her tightly. The person holding her pulled back, allowing her to see it was Johnny. His brown eyes looked at her with concern. “Who are you going to stay with?” he asked quietly, his eyes searching hers.

“Oh, you heard that...,” she murmured, lowering her gaze guiltily.

“Raven...  do you have anywhere else to go?” he asked, concern laced in his voice.

She only shrugged noncommittally, keeping her gaze fixed on the cracked sidewalk. She had been planning on spending a few nights at a hotel but she found herself unwilling to tell Johnny that there was no friend. “Right, I guess you're bunking with me for a bit,” he stated, slapping his thighs as he straightened.

“What?! No! I mean its not that I'm not grateful but its not necessary! I'll be fine in some Hotel 6 or something,” Raven protested, shooting to her feet. She nervously moved a strand of black hair behind her ear as she looked up at the actor. Not only had she just met the man today but who knew what Manson would do if he found out she was staying with another man. The singer was infamous for his horrible temper.

“Nonsense! As if I'd leave someone in your state alone,” he responded, smiling down at her.

“B-but..,” Raven began only to be interrupted by Amanda pounding on the window by her head.

“Go for it!” her friend mouthed, giving her the thumbs up with both hands.

Raven turned to look back at Johnny who was smiling at her kindly. It would only be for a few days and she could still keep in contact with Manson over the phone. Besides, she really needed to have some time to think. “Okay. I just need to get some stuff,” she murmured, worry shining in her eyes. How was she going to manage to get her stuff without encountering Manson?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: I hope everyone has been enjoying the story.


	6. Coma White

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: And the plot thickens. Thanks for all the views guys! Don't be afraid to let me know how I'm doing!

“Are you sure you need to do this?” Johnny asked for the fifth time that trip, his hands gripped tightly on the leather covered wheel.

“Yes, even if I can just get some pajamas from a Wal-mart but there's something there that can't just be bought,” Raven answered, her hazel eyes focused on the hem of her black t-shirt. The item she spoke of was a stuffed dog she had gotten from an aunt at the age of nine. She had never traveled without it and had named it Kathy, after the aunt that had given it to her. If she didn't have the stuffed dog she knew she wouldn't sleep but was too embarrassed to tell that to Johnny.

“Do you want me to come in?” he asked, a hard edge to his voice as he pulled into the driveway.

“No, you better not. I don't need him to think I'm cheating on him with you on top of all of this,” she responded, avoiding his worried gaze as she unbuckled her seat belt. She was too tired to question why Johnny was being so nice when he barely knew her, all she knew was that she was grateful for his presence.

“Alright, but I'll be right here if you need me,” he assured her, putting the car in park but keeping the engine running. Raven realized, with a sharp spike of guilt, that Johnny's statement had made her feel safer. Shame filled her as she exited the car and headed toward the house. Manson had never shown any sign that he would hurt her so she had no reason to be afraid. Still, when she got to the door she hesitated.

As she reached for the door, it flew open to reveal John 5 who was sneering at her with a baleful look. “I thought you were gonna stay away,” he growled, stepping back to allow her into the house.

“I have to get some stuff,” she responded, not looking the irritable guitarist in the eye.

“Yeah, sure and the guy waiting out in the car for you is your Grandfather,” John snarled, sounding disgusted with her.

“Look, the person in the car is Johnny Depp. I just met him today at the park while I was... distraught,” Raven replied, fixing her eyes on his.

“You move pretty damn quick. Already you've latched onto another famous person,” he hissed, hatred sparking in his brown eyes.

“Its not  fucking like that you asshole! He ran into me while I was crying my eyes out over that  dickhead upstairs! I don't need a lecture about fidelity from anyone in this fucking band!” she screamed, her temper finally snapping. Not only had the events of the day put her through the emotional wringer but this asshole had the gall to try to make her feel guilty!

“I'm not the one who ran off to find a whore! For fuck's sake, I can't even stand the thought of  Manson seeing me naked! What in the flying  fuck  gives you the idea that I can have sex so casually that I would just go to another man!” she screamed, stalking toward him; feeling a bit gratified when he backed off. A bit of the hatred that was in his eyes earlier began to slip into confusion.

“You and him haven't even...?” he asked, wonder slipping into his voice.

“Of  course not! I barely fucking know the guy! But its not for lack of trying on his part, I assure you,” she hissed, clenching her hands into tight fists as she stood toe to toe with the bleach blonde guitarist. Although he towered over her easily, he still had a look of fear in his brown eyes as she glared up at him.

“Raven?” came a questioning, male voice from behind her and she froze. Hurt flooding into her hazel eyes as she still stared up at John, she went completely tense. She had desperately hoped that she could have avoided seeing him. Still she wasn't surprised he had come down, she had been making quite a racket. Trying not to let the tears brimming in her eyes fall, she closed her eyes tightly and began to turn to face Manson. Instead of looking at him, she focused her gaze on the tops of his boots as she tried to steady her breathing.

“I'm just here to get some stuff,” she whispered quietly, all the fire from earlier leaving for the aching pain in her heart.

“Are you staying with Johnny?” he whispered in reply, his voice sounding tired.

“I... he insisted.,” she replied quietly, still focusing on the tops of his platforms.

“Good. He's a good guy, he'll keep you safe for me,” he replied softly before his boots turned and went up the stairs.

“D-do you two know each other?” Raven asked, now looking at the tile floor.

“I've known him for a while. We're good friends, although I suppose he must be pretty pissed at me right now,” the singer replied in a strained voice, sounding almost as if he was holding back tears.

A spike of guilt speared through Raven's heart as her head shot up and she found herself looking Manson in the face. The performer's face was void of make-up and his face was pale and strained. “Manson, I just need to think,” she whispered, all her pain leaving for the need to comfort him. The man looked as if the world was crumbling around his feet.

“I've heard that before,” he hissed bitterly, his eyes showing none of the vitriole in his voice.

“Marilyn, please. I promise that I'll come back,” she replied, fighting the urge to gather the shattered looking singer in her arms.

“Keep in touch,” he whispered before he went up the stairs.

“Oh that's just great. He's the one that cheated on me and here I am feeling guilty for making  him sad,” Raven hissed to herself angrily, watching the rock star's retreat with concerned eyes.

“You almost act like you actually care about him,” came John's astonished voice from behind her.

“Maybe that's because I do,” she responded quietly before heading upstairs as well.

Raven shut her bedroom door, taking several deep breaths to steady herself as well as keep the tears at bay. The hell of it was she was unsure of why she was so miserable. Was it because Manson had gone to a whore? Or was it because of how sad and haunted he had seemed earlier? Desperately needing some time to think, Raven packed a bag of clothes and picked up her stuffed dog. It was a floppy basset hound that was brown, white and black and looked rather old as well as well loved. She looked down at the dog's face with a small sigh before she looked up at the Marilyn Manson poster.

Manson sat on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands. On the table by his bed was a half full glass of Vodka/Absinthe as well as the bottles of alcohol themselves. He was in an advanced state of drunkenness but it did nothing to numb the pain he felt. He barely knew this woman for fuck's sake! Why was she having such a strong effect on him after just a few days? He had never felt guilty for taking a whore before! This whole situation was confusing as well as frightening for him. His whirlwind thoughts were interrupted by a gentle knock on his door. “Go away John, I'm in no mood,” he hissed in a tired, hollow voice.

“Its Raven,” came a soft reply.

Raven stared at the door as a series of crashes and curses came from behind it. If it were under any other circumstance she would have laughed. The door in front of her flew open to reveal a shirtless Manson who reeked of booze. His bloodshot eyes locked on hers desperately as he leaned on the frame of the door for support. “Raven,” he whispered, his voice shaky and lost.

The black haired female was taken aback by his appearance, let alone the smell of alcohol that wafted around him. She would have to make sure one of the band members kept an eye on him. “I, well... this is Kathy. I've had her since I was nine. There's never been a night where she hasn't been with me,” Raven whispered, holding out the bedraggled plush to the singer. Manson looked down at the plush with confusion before looking up at Raven.

“I thought that... maybe since she might smell a bit like me... that she might help you sleep,” she murmured, suddenly feeling very shy and stupid. What had she been thinking? She fully expected the performer to laugh in her face before closing the door. Instead, he gently took the plush.

Manson looked at the floppy canine, its brown glass eyes staring back at him. Despite how old the plush was, it was in fairly good condition. It was well loved with one bald spot near the nose and was missing several decorative strings from the toes. With how Raven had just spoken of it, he knew it must mean a lot to her. “Are you sure you want to give her to me?” he asked, wonder beginning to slip into his voice.

“Well, just until I come back. I wanted to make sure you had something of mine to comfort you,” she replied with a blush, moving a strand of her shoulder length black hair behind her ear. When Manson only kept staring down at the plush, Raven felt more and more ridiculous.

“If you don't want her, I'll understand,” Raven offered in a small voice. She wanted to offer the singer a polite out just in case he was worried about her feelings. To her surprise Manson held the plush tightly to his chest while smiling down at her.

“Thank you. I'll take very good care of her,” Manson replied, warm emotions swirling in his mismatched eyes.

“See that you do mister! If I see so much as a drop of booze on her, it'll be your head,” the small female mock threatened sadly, poking his bony chest. To her surprise he captured her hand in his left hand and pressed it against his heartbeat.

Raven's heart leapt into her throat as he closed some of the distance between them, a bare inch between them. “Do you  have to go,” he whispered, his voice sounding meek and lost.

“Y-yes. I just... I need time to come to terms with what you did. I know its stupid. I barely know you and it isn't as if we're in a relationship...,” she replied weakly, interrupted by a harsh intake of breath.

“Why do you think we aren't in a relationship?” he hissed, his voice suddenly cold and hard. His hand tightened slightly on the hand he held over his heartbeat.

“It... it... we've... I mean we just met! I didn't think we could build a relationship on just  that ,” she replied, looking up at him with surprise. It almost sounded like she had hurt his feelings.

“Most people, no. But I'm not most people. Also, the way you sang 'Last Day on Earth',” he growled, closing his eyes as he hitched in a breath, “I heard how much you loved me.”

“But, is that enough? You don't know my personality, my dreams, my nightmares. I don't know any of yours either,” Raven replied fretfully, confusion and hope fighting for dominance on her face.

“We'll learn them together,” he murmured softly, still pressing her hand to his heartbeat.

“But...,” she started to protest only to be stopped by the depth of emotion in his eyes.

“I know enough about you to know that I want to stake my claim to you. Even if this ends horribly, I would prefer to say we're in a relationship,” he responded, a pleading tone to his voice. It almost sounded like he had more to say but was reluctant to give it voice.

“I've never felt such an unconditional love from anyone. I don't want to chance losing it on someone else,” he whispered, his voice barely audible as he refused to meet her eyes.

Raven had to fight herself to refrain from yelling something like, 'If its that important that you keep me, why did you bring home a whore?!' Despite how good it would have felt, all it would have done was rip open an already bleeding wound. Besides, Ginger had told her Manson had insisted on calling the whore  her name. “I'm in a relationship with Marilyn Manson,” she whispered, blinking slowly.

All the happiness she should have felt at the realization was marred by the hurt from the earlier events. Yet under all the hurt feelings, warm feelings of happiness and love glowed softly; just waiting to be fanned into a roaring flame. Looking up into Manson's tormented eyes, her hand still tightly pressed over his heartbeat, Raven found herself already wanting to forgive him. She had known from the start that he had a huge sexual appetite. She should be grateful he hadn't tried to force himself on her. “You're making it very hard to stay mad at you,” she whispered softly, a small smile appearing on her lips.

“Then stay and let me make it up to you properly,” he purred, a pleading edge to his voice as he stared into her hazel eyes intently.

“I can't. I promise it will only be a couple days,” she whispered, pulling away from the half dressed performer. She couldn't stop her gaze from roving over his scarred chest, a deep hunger stirring within her. Shaking herself, she smiled up at him while she backed away. This was the exact reason she needed to get away for a while! If she stayed near Manson, he would have her at his feet in days.

“Raven...” he practically whimpered, following her slowly to the head of the stairs.

Raven's heart lurched in her chest at the sound of his voice and she very nearly changed her mind. God, he sounded like he was on the verge of tears. The desperate way he was looking at her while he had Kathy pressed to his chest wasn't helping. “Raven! You okay?” came a concerned voice from downstairs, grabbing her attention.

Thankful for the distraction from the distraught performer, Raven looked down the stairs to see Johnny Depp staring up at her from the foot of the stairs. Concern shined in his brown eyes as his gaze remained focused on Manson. “Yeah, just saying goodbye,” she replied with false cheerfulness, returning her gaze to the singer.

Manson had his mismatched gaze fixed on Johnny, his mouth set in an angry line. “I'm  trusting her with you,” he growled, his gaze almost murderous.

“Brian... you should know me better. I wouldn't do anything to her. She's in a relationship,” Johnny returned, raged shining in his brown eyes. To the actor's satisfaction, it seemed his comment had knocked the singer off balance. Manson had staggered a bit, guilt flashing in his eyes briefly before it was replaced with anger.

“Fine. Just keep her safe,” he hissed, curling the hand that wasn't holding Kathy into a tight fist.

“ I will,” Johnny growled, his goateed mouth set in a grim line.

Uncomfortable with the tension between the two men, Raven decided it would be best to beat a hasty retreat. Grabbing Manson's face gently so his eyes were focused on her, Raven gave him a gentle kiss. “Take care of Lady,” she requested, breaking the kiss with a small smile. Then she ran down the stairs before he had a chance to react.

Once she was down the stairs, the black haired woman walked past Johnny and right up to John 5. “John, you and I both know he drinks heavily when he gets depressed. Can I count on you and any other volunteers you can find to take care of him?” Raven asked, worry in her voice. Her hazel eyes were locked with John's brown ones as she silently begged him to not be a jerk.

“What the fuck do you  think I was gonna do?” he snarled. Still, Raven could swear he had sounded a tad less pissed with her than he normally was.

“Thank you and I mean that,” she replied, giving him a brief hug.

“Please, keep him safe,” she whispered as she pulled back, her eyes meeting his again.

Something in her voice made John soften and he looked at her, really looked at her. The woman in front of him was only five foot nine but she could be intimidating when it came to someone she cared about. As he looked into her hazel eyes, he saw something that surprised him. He saw that this tiny woman deeply cared for Manson. This woman's eyes held a depth of love for the singer that almost made John feel as if he was drowning in it. “I promise,” he replied solemnly, taking one of her hands in his.

Raven startled at John picking up her hand in his. His brown eyes were examining her closely, making her feel slightly uncomfortable. It was almost as if the guitarist was seeing her with new eyes. The bleach blonde holding her hand glanced up at Johnny, his lips set in a thin line. Johnny returned the gaze, his stance sturdy and defensive. A silent understanding seemed to pass between the two as they both nodded. “Come on Raven. You must be exhausted,” Johnny whispered, gently grabbing her arm. Confused by what had just happened, Raven found herself nodding. With one last look at Manson who was still standing at the top of the stairs holding Kathy, Raven waved and walked out of the house.

As soon as the door had clicked shut, Manson had mechanically walked to his room; leaving a concerned John staring up the stairs. “Hey, I think he's serious about this one,” came an astounded voice from behind him. John sighed, looking behind himself to see Pogo staring at the stairs with the same concern.

“I'd say she's pretty serious too,” John replied, walking into the living room. Tim sat up as he walked in, looking at him with a mixture of confusion and worry.

“Yeah, we thought the same with Dita,” Pogo snarled angrily, picking up an empty glass and flinging it against a wall.

“Dita wanted to change him. This one is different. I think that no matter what he does to her, she'll love him,” the guitarist responded, sitting next to Tim. Tim nodded in agreement, looking at John with a mix of astonishment and 'fucking finally'.

“Yeah, yeah. Don't rub it in Tim,” John growled, waving at the bassist tiredly.

“Tim, what makes you so sure that this time will be any different than the other times?” Pogo asked in a tired voice as he rubbed the bridge of his nose.

“This one is not after his fame,” Tim answered simply, his voice thick with a Swedish accent.

Pogo opened his mouth to protest, then shut it just as quickly. He remembered what she had acted like on stage, she had acted as if she wanted nothing more than to escape. “Okay, ya got me on that one,” he responded, plopping down on the other side of Tim on the couch.

“So who gets to watch over him tonight?” John asked, not expecting any volunteers to speak up.

“I vote for Ginger since he's not here,” Pogo replied, running a hand through his stiff, bleach blonde mohawk.

“I guess I got him until the poor bastard gets back. I've never seen Manson act this way so it should be an interesting night,” John remarked, looking up at the ceiling. Everyone was used to Manson's rages but this quiet depression was quite new and frightening. None of them knew just what would happen.

Johnny led Raven into an elevator at a hotel that she never would have been able to afford. She couldn't stop staring at everything around her, her mouth slightly hanging open and making her resemble a gasping fish. The actor's amused chuckle broke her out of her daze and she looked up at him while the elevator doors shut. Her face flamed with embarrassment as she realized she had probably seemed every bit the country mouse to his city mouse. “Don't let the hotel intimidate you. Despite what they want you to think, everyone here is just like everyone else,” he assured, his brown eyes sparkling with amusement as he placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Th-thank you for letting me stay. I was going to offer to at least pay for half the room but I don't think I can do that,” Raven replied with a nervous chuckle, fiddling with the hem of her black t-shirt.

“No, I don't think you could. Don't worry, just consider it a favor from a friend,” the actor chuckled, smiling down at her. An emotion in his eyes almost made her want to melt as she looked up at him. Then the elevator dinged and the breathless spell over them broke like a soap bubble.

Avoiding his gaze as she got out of the elevator, Raven kept her gaze on the oddly patterned carpet. A gentle hand on her shoulder inadvertently made her flinch as she looked up at Johnny. A few strands of his black hair hung in his face and his brown eyes shined with concern. “You okay?” he asked, his brow knitted with worry.

“Y-yeah. Just a bit... nervous,” she managed to get out, smiling weakly.

“There's nothing to be nervous about,” he assured, moving a hand behind her back and gently pushing her forward.

They stopped a few doors down, a huge, thickly muscled body guard stood in front of the door. The towering guard inclined his black haired head slightly, glaring down at Raven through dark sunglasses. Raven shrank away from him, hiding slightly behind Johnny in fright. “Hey, its okay. Jerome here won't hurt you,” Johnny comforted, turning to look Raven in the eyes.

Raven peeked timidly around Johnny to see Jerome standing there with his black suit clad arms crossed across his thick chest. The huge body guard seemed to be looking at her in an assessing manner, not relaxing one iota. “Are you sure it's smart to bring someone like  her in?” Jerome asked in a voice so deep, Raven could swear the ground was shaking from it.

“Have you been reading the tabloids Jerome?” Johnny responded coldly, his voice full of anger as he turned back to the bodyguard.

“I meant no offense sir, but she already has a famous boyfriend. What if she's just looking for her next conquest,”Jerome responded placidly, not looking the least bit ruffled by the actor's anger.

“I'm getting sick and tired of people making assumptions about me when they barely know me,” Raven hissed, coming out from behind Johnny.

“Did it ever occur to anyone one that I, shock and amazement, actually love Marilyn quite deeply?” she hissed quietly, stalking toward the thickly muscled bodyguard.

“I want  none  of the fame! I want  none of the attention! Is it so much to ask that I not be judged for who I love?! Just because he's famous doesn't automatically mean that's all I love him for!” the small, black haired female snarled, standing toe to toe with Jerome. To her satisfaction, the huge bodyguard was looking down at her with a mixture of amazement and respect.

“I was out of turn,” he responded, his voice wavering slightly as he looked into her furious hazel eyes.

“I'll say you were! I have no intention of being intimate with Mr. Depp! I can't even bear the thought of my current boyfriend seeing me nude! Keep that in mind next time you wanna judge people,” she snarled, pressing herself against the bodyguard and craning her neck so she could look him in the eyes.

“Yes ma'am,” he whispered in response, stepping out of the way.

“Nice job,” Johnny whispered, his hot breath brushing her ear and his mustache faintly tickling her skin. Fighting off a shudder, Raven smiled up at the actor as he opened the door for them both.

The 'room' was more like a large apartment. There was a full kitchen and living room as well as four full bedrooms, each with their own bathroom. Raven's jaw dropped at the sight of the huge room, making noises of amazement as she moved into the huge space. “Holy shit,” she whispered, unable to stop looking around.

“Oh this nothing. You should see my summer mansion,” he remarked in a teasing tone.

“I don't know know if you're joking or serious,” Raven reply, chuckling quietly as she stared up at the high, white ceiling.

“Well I don't have a  summer mansion,” he replied, smiling slightly.

Raven turned to face him, a look of amusement on her face. “I wouldn't have been surprised to find out you did,” she quipped, quirking a brow at him before heading towards the bedrooms.

“The one with the red door is mine. Feel free to take any of the others,” he offered, moving into the huge kitchen.

Raven looked at the four doors that were spaced fairly far apart from each other. Finally, she chose the green door right next to Johnny's room. That way he would be close by if she needed him. Opening the door, her jaw dropped for the second time that day. The room was painted a rich, deep red, had red carpet and a huge bed with red sheets. Next to the bed stood a small dresser and on the wall next to the door was a huge dresser.

Setting her bag on the red silk sheets of her bed, Raven looked around the large room in awe. It had a corded phone and a huge TV on a large stand across from the bed. Moving to the door next to the bed, Raven opened it to reveal a huge bathroom. The tub alone could have easily fit three full grown people. A bit blown away by the extravagance, Raven sat on the closed lid of the toilet to take it all in. It almost seemed impossible she would be living here for the next two days.

The smell of food eventually broke her out of her stunned trance and she got to her feet. Whatever it was, it smelled delicious and made her stomach come awake with a loud roar. Almost timidly, she opened the door to see an amusing sight. Johnny bustled back and forth, wearing a white apron tied around his thin waist. His tongue poked from his goateed mouth as he fiddled with something in a large, steaming skillet. The smell of whatever he was cooking was too tempting to resist. With a small blush on her cheeks, she exited the room and stood near the table unsurely.

Johnny's dark haired head shot up, a kind smile appearing on his face. “Hi Raven! Feel free to sit at the table, dinner should be ready in a moment,” he stated, a bright smile on his face as he flipped something over with a spatula.

“D-dinner? Y-you didn't have to,” Raven stammered as she sank into a chair by the large, round table. To her mortification her stomach chose that moment to let loose a particularly loud groan.

“From the sounds of  that , I'd say I did,” he chuckled, flipping a huge steak onto a clean plate. Raven's eyes followed the steak onto the plate as she began to almost drool.

“I'd also say, from the look on your face, that my dinner choice is also appreciated,” he teased as he piled some mashed potatoes onto the plate.

Raven blushed, moving to go fix her plate when a plate was set in front of her. Looking up at Johnny with astonishment, Raven found herself blushing. He was smiling at her crookedly as he sat in his seat. “I could have gotten it myself,” she whispered, avoiding his gaze as she stared down at her food.

“Yeah, but I figured I might as well bring it since I was heading this way anyway,” he chuckled, beginning to cut into the thick steak on his own plate.

Raven had just finished putting the last bit of steak into her mouth when a familiar ring tone began to come from her phone. Looking at Johnny apologetically, she flipped open the phone and hit the answer button. “Rrrraven,” came a hissed slur from the other end of the phone.

“Manson?” Raven asked, looking at the phone with a horrified look.

“What's wrong?” Johnny asked, shooting to his feet.

“He sounds drunk as a skunk,” Raven replied, placing the phone back against her head.

“Where are you Rrrraven? I can't find you,” he hissed, sounding like he was swaying on his feet.

“I'm staying somewhere else for the night. I told you that just a few hours ago,” Raven responded, worry beginning to lace into her voice.

“You're gone?! Wh-why?” came his voice, sounding lost and unsure. Suddenly it sounded like there was a struggle followed by muffled voices.

“Get the phone Ging!” came a male voice from far away.

“H-hello?” came a breathless male voice.

“Ginger?” Raven asked, more worry becoming apparent on her face.

“Raven?! John, he called Raven!” Ginger called to someone.

“Oh thank Christ! At least he didn't drunkenly call one of his exes,” came John's distant, strained voice. It sounded like he was struggling with something.

“Ginger, what's going on?” Raven asked, gripping her deep red phone tightly.

“Manson's really fucking drunk. I'm not even sure he's aware of what he's doing. John and I had just gone to check on him when we caught him going out the front door while on the phone,” Ginger responded, sounding distracted and worried.

“Oh fuck. Is he gonna be okay?” she asked, her hand tightening in the red plastic of her phone.

“Yeah, he'll be just fine. We just need to get him to bed,” the drummer replied, sounding tired.

“Call me if he gets worse,” Raven whispered into the phone closing her hazel eyes tightly.

Closing the phone gently, she opened her eyes to see Johnny looking at her with concern. “Manson's gotten himself really drunk,” she murmured, looking worried and aggravated at the same time.

“What would you say to a movie?” Johnny asked, deciding to change the subject for her.

“I would love to watch one,” she replied, relief evident in her voice.

Gently taking her arm in his hand, the actor gently led her to the living room. Once she was seated, he turned to his large DVD collection. “Any movie you have in mind?” he asked, perusing the covers.

“D-do you have “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas'?” she asked shyly, not quite daring to meet his gaze. Johnny smiled gently at her, pulling the Blu-ray case from his shelf.

“Of course,” he responded, bending down to put the disk in the player.

“Its one of my favorites,” she confessed shyly, watching as the movie started.

“Mine too,” he replied, sitting next to her. As he looked down at her, he found himself feeling oddly protective of the small female. Frowning slightly, he turned his attention back to the movie. No matter what happened, he couldn't allow himself to fall for Raven.


	7. Separation Anxiety

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: And we begin the wangst in earnest this chapter. Lots of mopey Manson as well as heavy drinking. Rights to the song 'Coma White' belong to Marilyn Manson.

Raven bolted upright in a cold sweat, a scream of terror still lingering on her lips from the horrible nightmare. The fact that she had woken up in a completely unfamiliar place didn't help her terror. Slowly, the memories of what happened returned and she began to relax. She was currently in a hotel with Johnny Depp. She had a fight with her boyfriend, Marilyn Manson, and was taking a couple days break to get her emotions in order. The whole situation was so surreal, Raven wasn't sure she wasn't still dreaming. With a sigh, she looked over at the clock to see what time it was. The glowing numbers read back '4:00 a.m.'

As she sat awake, memories of the dream that woke her came back. She had been at a concert with Manson, standing near the back of the stage while he sang. As she watched, a fan crawled from the crowd and began to dance with Manson. It all went pretty normally until the fan pulled out a wickedly sharp knife, beginning to stab the singer. Raven had run onto the stage just as security had tackled the man and Manson had gone to his knees. She had held his bleeding body in her arms, watching helplessly as his life ran from his body in crimson rivulets.

Raven shuddered at the memory, rubbing her goose-pimple covered arms. She found herself wishing she had grabbed a few of her books to read. Glancing at her red phone, she briefly considered calling Manson. Right now she really wanted to hear his voice. Despite her hesitation to call him, knowing everything that had gone on that night; she picked up the phone and dialed the number.

A ring tone playing 'Last Day on Earth' played in the darkness as a screen on a phone lit up. A pale, tattooed arm flailed around, groping for the ringing phone. Finally a pale, black nailed hand grasped the black plastic of the phone and flipped it open. “Mmph, Raven?” came a sleep muzzed growl from the singer as he sat up.

“Oh, fuck. You were asleep. I'm sorry, I'll call back later,” Raven stammered, feeling guilty and stupid.

“No! No. Its okay. Why are you calling so late,” he rasped out, sounding as if the prospect of her hanging up had snapped him fully awake.

“I... feel kinda silly now,” she whispered, picking at the silk sheets nervously.

“Tell me?” he pleaded, the roughness slowly leaving his voice.

“I had a nightmare. You were performing and I was watching you. A fan climbed onto the stage and he...,” Raven started, lapsing into silence as tears began to roll down her pale cheeks. Even though he was obviously alright, the image of him dying in her arms was too horrible to recount.

“What happened?” came a gentle whisper, urging her to continue.

“He... he stabbed you. You bled to death in my arms. I had to watch you die,” she sobbed, wrapping her arms around herself and rocking back and forth.

“Shh, shh. Its okay. I'm obviously safe, otherwise you wouldn't be talking to me,” he soothed gently, his baritone voice washing over her like warm water.

Despite the fact that he was right, Raven still found herself sobbing uncontrollably. The sight of him laying in her arms, bleeding to death, was all too real for her. “Oh hun, I wish I could be there to hold you right now,” Manson whispered gently, his voice caressing her where his hands couldn't.

“I wish you could too,” she whispered, tears still flowing freely down her pale cheeks as she gripped the phone.

“Go to Johnny,” he murmured softly, his voice sounding pained.

“But...,” she replied reluctantly, only to be hushed gently by Manson.

“You shouldn't be alone right now. He won't do anything beyond comfort you,” Manson assured, not sounding too sure himself.

“But..,” she began again, only to once again be shushed.

“Please. You can call me again later. Right now I want you to go to Johnny. I promise he won't mind that you woke him up for this,” the singer pleaded, his voice sounding strained.

“O-okay,” Raven whispered, taking a shaky breath.

“You'll be okay,” he whispered, his voice unusually tender.

“I... I'll call you later. Good night Marilyn,” she murmured into the phone, tears still trickling from her hazel eyes.

“Good night Raven,” he whispered before the phone went silent.

Raven got to her feet, wiping her eyes and turning on her bedside lamp. She gave her eyes a few moments to adjust before shuffling to her door. Opening the green door with a slight creak, Raven peered out into the inky black hallway. She had never been a big fan of leaving her room while it was dark out. Gathering her scant courage, the shaking female scampered out of her room and knocked on the red door that was a few feet down from her door. As she waited for an answer, she shifted from one foot to the other uneasily. It felt as if there was something behind her watching her, making the back of her neck prickle with fear.

Johnny opened the door slowly, hiding a yawn as he looked down at her with first confusion and then worry. “Raven? Come on in,” he offered, stepping out of the way so she could enter. Trying to ignore the fact that the actor was shirtless, Raven smiled at him in gratitude as she entered the huge room. This room was a light blue and had a huge, comfortable looking bed that looked recently slept in.

“Why are you awake so late? Are you okay?” the actor asked gently, putting on a black robe.

“I... I had a nightmare. I called Manson in tears and he sent me in here,” she replied quietly, looking away from him in shame.

“What was the nightmare?” he asked kindly, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder.

With a shaky voice, Raven once again recounted the disturbing dream; breaking down into sobs at the end. She was dimly aware of being taken into a gentle hug as a hand pet her shoulder length black hair.  “You said you just called him right?” he asked gently, his deep voice rumbling in his chest and vibrating her cheek.

“Y-yeah but it didn't help. Just the thought of helplessly watching him die...,” she whispered, shuddering helplessly at the horrible image.

“It was just a dream. No matter how scary it was, it wasn't real,” he assured, just holding her gently.

“I can still feel his blood running through my fingers. The image of his life leaving his eyes is burned into my mind. I don't think I'll be sleeping again tonight,” she whispered, laughing bitterly while tears still rolled down her cheeks.

“Shhhh. Here, call him again and put him on speaker phone,” Johnny suggested, gently leading her to his bed and having her sit down.

“Wha?” she whimpered, looking up at the actor with tear-filled, confused eyes.

“Just trust me. I have an idea. I just hope he'll be up for it,” Johnny mused sitting next to her and hiding another yawn behind his hand.

“O-okay,” Raven stammered nervously, flipping open the phone and hitting the call button. A few rings later and a gruff voice answered.

“Raven?! Are you with Johnny? Are you okay?” came a barrage of questions from the obviously worried singer.

“Yes, I'm fine. Johnny's right here beside me. He suggested I call. Can I put you on speaker phone?” she asked, looking at Johnny with unsure hazel eyes.

“Yeah, sure,” Manson replied, sounding confused and curious.

Raven hit a button on the phone and the sounds from Manson's end filled the room. “Marilyn, ya there?” Johnny semi-yelled, wanting to be sure the singer heard him.

“I'm here! You don't have to shout! Now, why am I on speaker phone?” Manson asked, his voice full of curiosity.

“Well, Raven just told me about her nightmare and she's understandably distraught. I propose me being your arms,” the actor offered tentatively.

Silence permeated the room as Raven stared at Johnny as if he had grown two heads. There was no way Manson would agree to such a thing! “Would you keep it platonic?” Manson snarled, his voice sounding an odd mix of angry and desperate. Raven looked at her deep red phone with an expression of stunned horror.

“Of course. Brian, she's all yours. I promise,” Johnny assured softly, not sounding the least bit offended.

“I-is he... are you offering what I think you are?” Raven squeaked, backing away from Johnny while clutching her phone.

“Easy Raven. I promise it will be no more than a hug and it won't even really be from me. Just think of it like a proxy hug,” he assured, staying where he was to give her some space.

“Raven, please. I know this isn't ideal for either of us but at least this way I can offer you some modicum of comfort,” Manson urged. The singer was gripping his phone so hard his knuckles were white and his eyes were shut tight as he silently begged her to accept the proposal. It was literally tearing him apart to hear her this distraught and be unable to hold her.

“O-okay,” Raven agreed, looking at Johnny with a mix of embarrassment and shyness.

“Johnny, could you... hug her for me,” Manson whispered, sounding as if the request caused him great pain. In truth, he was far more bothered by Johnny touching her than anything else. If he had his way, he would be the one holding her.

Raven went stiff as the devastatingly handsome actor gently gathered her into his lightly muscled arms and held her gently. Then he began to slowly rock back and forth. From the phone in her hand came soft, soothing noises as she was rocked. Closing her eyes, Raven slowly began to relax as she allowed herself to believe it was Manson who was comforting her. “I'm right here. I'm safe,” the singer purred as a nose burrowed itself into her hair.

Sighing softly, the black haired female leaned back into the lightly muscled chest of the man behind her. “It was so real,” she whimpered, keeping her eyes shut while the man holding her rocked her.

“I know, but it wasn't I'm still alive,” Manson murmured as a nose brushed tenderly against her ear. A shudder of arousal coursed through her body as she bit her lower lip.

“I'm so happy you're okay,” Raven whispered, a tear escaping from one shut lid. A gentle thumb brushed it away and a gentle kiss was placed on her cheek. The faint brush of stubble made her brow knit in confusion. Wasn't it Manson holding her?

“Try to get some sleep,” the performer urged gently as she was slowly laid down on the silk sheets.

“W-will you sing to me?” Raven asked shyly as lightly muscled arms wrapped around her waist from behind.

“Of course. What do you want to hear?” Manson replied, sounding half amused.

“Sing me 'Coma White'?” she asked timidly, smiling as a ward blanket was carefully tugged over her.

“There's something cold and blank behind her smile,” Manson began, his voice sounding hauntingly sad.

“She's standing on an overpass in her miracle mile,” Raven responded, her voice sounding just as sad and haunted. A male gasp from behind her made her almost startle. That certainly hadn't sounded like Manson.

“You were from a perfect world,” the performer hissed, sounding almost accusing.

“A world that threw me away today, today, todaaaayayay. To run away,” Raven belted, sounding just as accusing as well as a bit bitter.

“A pill to make you numb,” Manson whispered, sounding a bit shaken. The last line she had sang had struck a chord deep within him. Someone  had thrown her away. He would have to ask for a story later.

“A pill to make you dumb,” she snarled, practically spitting the words.

“A pill to make you anybody else,” they sang together, Raven sounding bitter and jaded.

“But all the drugs in this world,” Manson began, slipping from the normal tone of the song to sounding sympathetic. It sounded as if Raven had been put on a plethora of pills to help mental problems that didn't exist.

“Won't save her from herself,” Raven finished, sounding resigned and sad.

“Her mouth was an empty cut,” the singer whispered, sounding comforting. From the sounds of it, she had also hit rock bottom.

“And she was waiting to fall,” she whispered, longing and sadness laced in her voice. The man behind her tightened one arm around her and was petting her hair.

“Just bleeding like a polaroid that lost all her dolls,” Manson murmured as a hand caressed her cheek gently.

“Cause you were from a perfect world,” Raven responded, her voice beginning to fade as she started to doze. The gentle petting and the sound of Manson's voice was lulling her to sleep.

“A world that threw me away today, today, todaaaayayay. To run away,” the performer whispered, his voice soft and gentle.

“A pill to make you numb,” Raven mumbled, slipping into a deep slumber.

“Goodnight Raven,” Manson whispered as Johnny spooned the sleeping female.

Raven awoke disoriented and startled, sitting up in a light blue bed. Blinking blearily, memories of the night before slowly came back. As she remembered the phone call and Johnny holding her, Raven turned a bright red. She had herself convinced it had been Manson holding her but it had really been Johnny burrowing his nose in her hair. It had been Johnny giving her that kiss on the cheek. It had been Johnny that had held her while she slept. Suddenly Raven felt very guilty as well as confused.

The haunting melody of a familiar and yet dreaded ring tone broke her from her thoughts. With a shaky hand, she grasped the deep red phone and pressed the answer button. “Raven?” came a very tired male voice from the other end.

“M-manson. Last night was... awkward,” Raven whispered, pinching the bridge of her nose.

Meanwhile, Amanda had awoken and stumbled downstairs for some coffee to find almost all of the band gathered in the living room. Telling herself it wasn't worth the gray hairs, she moved towards the living room anyway; bracing herself for the high blood pressure she was about to have. Sure enough there stood her coffee table, broken in half with a very satisfied looking keyboardist standing in the middle of the ruins. The amusement in his brown eyes was the last straw. “Run...,” Amanda hissed, her brown eyes almost turning red from rage.

“Are you sure its okay?” Raven asked, a frantic edge to her voice while she paced the room. She had told him everything Johnny had done without hesitation. She would never hide anything, no matter how damning, from Manson.

“Raven, try to calm down. Listen to me closely, its okay. I'm not the least bit mad at you,” Manson assured, his baritone voice like velvet.

“A-are you sure?” she whispered, not quite daring to believe that he wasn't furious.

“Yes. You were distraught and needed comfort. That's all that happened from what you told me,” he whispered, sounding comforting and gentle.

“Get the  fuck back here so I can beat your ass Madonna Wayne Gacy!” came a garbled, female scream from the other end.

“Sorry, I have to go. Even if he deserves it, I have to stop her from killing him,” Manson sighed, sounding aggravated. He pinched the bridge of his nose as he let out a frustrated groan. This was exactly what he  didn't need right now.

“Yeah, you better hurry from the sounds of it. Bye and good luck,” Raven chuckled, allowing relief to wash through her. Manson wasn't mad. She had been over thinking everything again. With a small smile, she hung up the phone and left Johnny's room to get dressed.

Raven stared into her bag, a look of embarrassed horror on her face. In her haste to pack her bags she hadn't paid attention to what she was grabbing. Her bag only had Marilyn Manson t-shirts in it, also there was the fact that the over-sized ones were her only pajamas. This certainly wasn't going to help her case with Jerome or anyone she encountered who happened to recognize her from the tabloids. “Well, this is a fine kettle of fish you've gotten yourself into,” Raven grumbled, reaching into the bag and grabbing one of her favorite shirts. If she was going to look like a fool, she was at least going to enjoy what she was wearing.

Johnny had been sipping on a cup of coffee when Raven finally came out of her bedroom. He couldn't help the eyebrow quirk or the small chuckle at her attire. “Oh hush. Its all I had packed,” the small female sputtered, going brick red as she slowly came into the room.

“So you're a big fan of his, hmm?” Johnny teased, looking at her through half lidded eyes.

“Yes. There was a point in my life where his music helped me survive,” she whispered, not meeting his eyes as she sat on the other side of the table.

“Have you told him this?” the actor asked gently, setting aside his coffee.

“Not yet. Our relationship is so new, I kinda wanna save just how obsessed I was with him for a bit later,” Raven whispered reluctantly, keeping her gaze fixed on the top of the table.

“How obsessed are you?” he asked quietly.

“ Was I. I wasn't crazy enough to look up his address or stalk him. I have a crap ton of shirts with his face on them, several posters and all of his CDs. All I wanted to do was get a chance to meet him. Maybe even become his friend,” she admitted, clenching her pale hands on top of the table.

“Well, it seems you've certainly gotten more than that. So, about last night...,” he began, placing a comforting hand on top of hers.

Pogo stood in the kitchen, the table the only thing separating him from a very angry Amanda. “Get your ass over here so I can kick it,” she snarled, circling the table. To her frustration, the mohawked man merely moved the opposite direction she was heading. His brown eyes shone with amusement as he grinned crazily at her.

“Now why would I want to do that?” he chirped in a cheerful voice that made her blood boil. The jerk sounded proud of himself!

“Now hold on. Just what happened?” came an exasperated voice from the entryway of the kitchen.

“He broke my coffee table! I got that from my grandmother,” snarled the curly haired woman, her eyes narrowing at Manson.

“Oh shit, really? God I'm really sorry,” Pogo whispered, all mirth leaving his face. As Amanda and Manson watched, the bleach blonde, mohawked man circled the table to stand in front of the small woman. The intimidating keyboardist had his head bowed and a look of contriteness on his face.

Both Amanda and Manson looked at him with their jaws dropped. Neither of them had expected this reaction. “I humbly accept any punishment you deem fit to bestow upon me,” he murmured with his head still bowed. His words earned another look of shock from his companions. They hadn't expected him to know such large words either.

Amanda looked at the towering keyboardist in an assessing manner while Manson moved to the cupboards. With an aggravated noise, the curly, brown haired woman gently punched Pogo's arm. “I was just saying that to see if you would feel any remorse. Its good to know that you'll actually feel bad if you break anything of sentimental value,” she remarked, with a sly grin.

“Heh, I'll have to get you back for that,” Pogo growled, the playful gleam returning to his eyes.

“Just don't break any of the statues. Those actually are of sentimental value,” Amanda growled, putting her hands on her bony hips as she glared up at the much taller man.

“Consider it done. Also, how much was that coffee table?” he asked, sitting down in a chair at the table.

Manson rolled his eyes at the pair as he dug out two familiar bottles of booze. “Already at the alcohol this morning?” came a concerned voice from behind the singer. Tensing slightly, Manson turned his baleful, mismatched gaze to see Ginger regarding him with exhausted concern.

“I have a hang over,” he growled, pouring a bit of Absinthe into a short glass.

“But that's not the only reason you're drinking is it?” the drummer asked softly, placing a hand on his friend's bare arm.

“Don't start this Ginger,” Manson hissed, warning thick in his voice as he added in an equal amount of Vodka.

“He has a point,” came a concerned female voice. Turning to glare pointedly at Amanda, Manson knocked back the strongly alcoholic fluid with only a slight wince.

“Raven would be really worried if she knew you were drinking like that,” the curly haired female whispered, watching as he began to fill in another glass.

Manson visibly flinched but didn't stop preparing his drink. With a swift flick of his thin wrist, the greenish fluid disappeared in one swallow. “That was a low blow,” he hissed as he filled his glass for the third time.

“Hey, slow down. She's not like the others man, she'll come back,” Pogo assured, coming to stand beside Ginger.

“Fuck you! I know that! Christ, I already miss her,” the rock star hissed, his hair hanging in his face as he clenched his hands on the white marble counter top. Then he swallowed his drink with a small shudder. Couldn't they understand that it was either get drunk or go crazy? As he began to fill a fourth glass, he was extremely aware of the worried gazes of the others in the kitchen.

Johnny had assured her that he had meant nothing by anything he had done last night. He had merely been doing what he thought Manson would have. Though, deep down inside, the actor knew it had been for a very different reason. At first he had only wanted to provide comfort but then she had started to sing and he had been lost. Although he would never admit it, he had fallen for the black haired female.

Currently said female was walking along the shelves of a used video game store, oohing and aahing over their wares. Johnny watched her with a fond smile, amusement dancing in his brown eyes. He couldn't help but envy Manson for having this woman's heart. If it had been any other circumstances he would have begun courting her himself. As it was, he found himself content to be her friend.

Raven looked at two games on the shelves, drool practically running from her mouth as she looked at them with sheer want. There on the shelves was an unopened copy of 'Conker's Bad Fur Day' and an unopened copy of 'Super Mario RPG'. The collector in her practically howled at her to get them but the prices were far too rich for her blood. The 'Conker's' was $250 and the 'Super Mario RPG' was $150, both way out of her price range. With one last, forlorn look, Raven moved past them. None of this was lost on Johnny, who had been watching her closely.

By the time Raven was ready to leave, Johnny had disappeared somewhere in the huge store. With a small smile, the black haired female decided to browse more. He would find her when he was ready and she honestly didn't mind spending longer in the store. She enjoyed the smell of the older games and some of them even instilled happy memories.

A few minutes later, she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder and turned to see Johnny smiling down at her. Mischief danced in his brown eyes as he asked her if she was ready to go. “Oh, sure,” Raven replied, looking at him with a mixture of curiosity and bewilderment. Johnny smiled in response, offered his bare arm to her. Blushing slightly, Raven took his arm in a loose grip and allowed him to lead her from the shop.

Raven collapsed on the huge, white couch with a sigh of relief. She didn't notice Johnny whisper into Jerome's ear or the bodyguard's imperceptible nod of agreement. Leaning her head back on the back of the couch, Raven shut her hazel eyes and sighed in contentment. “Its good to be back,” she murmured softly.

“We only went to one shop,” Johnny responded, sounding amused. Normally women were up for shopping all day.

“I'm not much for 'mall walking'. I prefer to just get what I want and leave,” she responded, cracking one eye open and looking back at him with a small smile.

“But you didn't get anything,” he remarked, sitting on her right side on the couch.

“I don't have the money to spend on games right now but its always fun to go see what they have on occasion. Sometimes I just like seeing some of my favorite games on a store shelf again,” Raven replied, looking over at him with a sad smile.

The door being opened startled them both, both of them turning to look at the door. In the door stood Jerome with his hands behind his back, looking placidly at Johnny from behind his dark sunglasses. “Close your eyes,” Johnny requested, suddenly sounding like a small boy on Christmas. Quirking a brow in confusion, Raven shrugged and closed her eyes. What harm could it do to play along?

There was a flurry of movement and a faint rustling of bags before the door shut and Johnny was sitting beside her again. Two plastic bags with vaguely rectangle shapes inside were placed on her lap and she felt them blindly. It felt like there were two semi-large boxes inside two separate plastic bags on her lap. “Open you eyes,” the actor suggested, his voice breathless with excitement.

Raven opened her eyes to see two innocuous white plastic bags on her lap and Johnny staring at her with an excited and yet anxious look. “Go ahead! Look in the bags,” he urged, looking like he was on the edge of his seat. Blinking in confusion, the black haired female reached into the first bag and pulled out the unopened 'Conker's Bad Fur Day.' A small gasp left her lips as happiness and gratitude filled her.

“J-johnny,” she whispered, looking at him with tear-filled, hazel eyes.

“Don't thank me yet. Look at the other one,” he responded, a huge smile now on his goateed face.

Having a suspicion of what it was, Raven pulled it free with a gasp of happiness. It was the unopened 'Super Mario RPG.' “Oh thank you,” she whispered, throwing her arms around his neck and giving him a tight hug.

Manson had been banished upstairs by his band as well as Amanda. He now sat in his dark room, Kathy clutched to his shirtless chest. He was heavily drunk and swayed slightly while he sat on his black sheets. All he wanted was another drink. So far nothing had even come close to stopping the pain from missing Raven. Running a shaky, pale hand through his shoulder length, black hair, Manson heaved a shaky sigh. How was it he had become so attached to her so strongly so fast? A more important question was if he could stand to be away from her for another day?

Raven awoke, hysterical sobs bubbling just behind her lips as her frightened hazel eyes stared blindly into the dark room. Gasping and desperately trying to get herself back under control, the black haired female clicked on her bedside lamp and buried her head in her hands. It had been the same nightmare as before. Only this time Manson had confessed his love for her just as he died. Her heart an aching sore in her chest, Raven reached for her phone and dialed a familiar number.

Manson had been pacing his room while holding tight to the dog plush, planning how he was going to get another glass of booze when the familiar ring tone went off. Practically diving for his phone, the singer fumbled with it for a few breathless moments before he managed to get it open. “Raven?” he whispered, knowing he sounded very drunk but not caring at the moment. All that mattered to him was hearing her voice. It was the only thing that would relieve his torment.

“Marilyn? You sound drunk,” came her forlorn voice, making a spike of guilt stab in his heart. She sounded like she had another nightmare and here he was drunk as a lord.

“I... I'll call some other time,” she whispered, hitching in a small, frightened sob.

“No! Please! Let me comfort you,” he pleaded, wanting nothing more than to pull her into his arms. The despair in her voice was fairly eating at him on the inside.

“I had the nightmare again,” she whispered softly.

Raven held the deep red phone tightly, her hazel eyes shut as tears rolled down her pale cheeks. The sight of him as his life slowly ebbed was still fresh in her mind. She didn't care if it was early, she wanted to go home tomorrow. After two nights of the same nightmare, she was understandably a little paranoid. At that moment all she wanted was to be curled up in the singer's arms while he assured her he was alright. Nothing else mattered. “Shh, I'm here. I'm safe. It was just a dream,” he murmured as comfortingly as he could while he was so drunk.

“Oh Manson, I don't care that you got that whore. I heard from Ginger that you insisted on calling her my name. I guess I had to come to terms with the fact that you need sex more than I do and only did what you did so you wouldn't push yourself on me,” she whispered, love and desperation filling her voice. Seeing him die twice in her dreams had instilled a strong need to get her feelings out in the open.

Manson hitched in a breath, his grip tightening on his phone as his mismatched eyes closed in relief. “Thank you,” he whispered, the sense of relief so great that he nearly went to his knees. A deep sense of happiness rose through the drunkenness and he smiled. He could get through tonight and tomorrow just knowing she had forgiven him. It frightened him slightly that she had such a power over his emotions but he found himself not caring. He couldn't bare the thought of being without her now.

Raven curled up in her bed, pulling the deep red, silk sheets up to her pale chin. Smiling softly, she closed her eyes. “Sing 'Coma White'?” she asked shyly, holding the phone tightly to her ear. Then the singer began to sing and she drifted off to the sound of his baritone voice caressing her.

A frantic knocking on the front door jolted her out of a sound sleep. Raven sat up, stifling a yawn as she heard Johnny padding toward the door. Rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, the sleepy female stumbled into the living room to see the actor open the door and a frantic Ginger come running in. The sight of the man looking so scared immediately woke the black haired female up and she moved toward him. “Ginger, what?” Raven asked, her hazel eyes full of concern as she took in the drummer's state.

The bleach blonde turned to her, relief and fear fighting for dominance in his brown eyes. “Raven, Dita called. Manson's on a rampage,” he gasped, holding the stitch in his side as he panted.


	8. Denial and Tours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning!!!: Light bloodplay.

Raven sat in the passenger side of the black sports car while Johnny sped down the road, his brown eyes fixed solely on the road ahead. She was very familiar with Manson's relationship with Dita. It had been his longest relationship to date and even ended in a brief marriage. Manson had loved the pin-up diva deeply until she started trying to change who he was. Raven could only imagine the amount of betrayal he had felt. And now Dita had called him. She hadn't even asked Ginger what the call had been about. All of them had simply dropped everything, gotten into the car and began to drive.

“What was he doing?” Johnny and Raven asked at the same time, concern thick in their voices.

“He broke his phone for starters. Then he proceeded to go through heroic amounts of both Vodka and Absinthe, getting shitfaced drunk. Then he chased everyone out of the house and has begun throwing things,” Ginger answered, looking at the passing scenery fretfully.

“Aw shit. It sounds like whatever she said pissed him right off,” Johnny hissed, his eyes narrowing and going almost black as his hands tightened on the black leather of the wheel.

“Oh this is just great. I hope he hasn't broken any of Mandy's statues. Some of those were from her mother,” Raven hissed, rubbing her temples. She wondered if Dita had called him about her. If that was the case, she also wondered what had been said.

“Oh no, when Manson started drinking really heavily Pogo started running them outside. They're all safe,” Ginger replied, his brown eyes flicking to her fitfully. He was so afraid that she would run when she saw Manson. Unfortunately his rage was very much a part of the singer and was among one of his more common reactions. If she ran, it wouldn't bode well for their relationship and would probably drive Manson into an even deeper rage than before.

“Well at least there's that,” the black haired female sighed, cracking her window open for some fresh air. To be truthful, she was absolutely terrified. She had never been good around angry men, having a strong flight reaction or outright freezing up when she was around them. Yet she had known that Manson had a horrible temper and that she would have to face it at some point. She would just have to tough it out and stay by his side even if that meant her being scared out of her mind.

Johnny could feel the tension in the air and set his jaw. He was just as worried as the others, about both Raven and Manson. This would be a trial by fire for Raven and if she failed to pass, would likely cause an explosion like never before. He hoped she was ready to see the singer at his absolute worst and vowed to stay close by in case she needed him.

As Johnny pulled up, Raven looked at the three members of the band on her lawn with concern. All of them were looking at the house with fear, forming a semi-ring around the precious statues that had been removed. As the black haired female exited the car Pogo ran up to her, relief on his pale face. “Fucking Dita, she knows just what to say to fuck him up,” he stated, looking at the house as a loud crash came from inside.

“I- I'll go see if I can calm him down,” Raven whispered, flinching as a chair was thrown through the living room window.

“Do you need me to come with you?” Johnny offered, coming up behind her and placing a hand on her shoulder.

“N-no. As much as I would like that, I think its best I try to handle this by myself,” she replied quietly, looking pale and frightened. Ginger came up by her side and gently placed a hand on her right arm.

“Whatever you do, don't run. Whatever he says, he's just trying to drive you away,” the drummer whispered, locking his brown eyes with her hazel ones; a cool breeze blowing through the bleach blond hair that hung in his face.

Placing her left hand over the hand on her arm, she gave Ginger a sad smile. “You know what she said, don't you,” she whispered quietly.

“Its always the same thing when his picture's been taken with a supposed new girlfriend. She'll call to remind him of their relationship and tell him that it'll be no different. That he'll never be happy unless he's willing to entirely change who he is,” Ginger replied, wincing as another chair flew through the kitchen window.

“Oh boy, I bet he  loves that,” Raven hissed hugging her bare arms. The t-shirt she had on was doing nothing to shield her from the semi-cool air.

“He doesn't  always react like this. This reaction is usually because Dita had the gall to do a background check on the girl,” the drummer responded, avoiding looking at Raven.

A cold fear curled through Raven at his words. She had nothing to hide technically but how much information would she have gotten? Would it just be the background check or had she actually dug for information on her? There were things in her past that she would much rather tell Manson herself. “What did she tell him?” she whispered, her voice small and shaky.

“Not much. As soon as she brought it up he had flung the phone against the wall. What really pisses him off is that she pries into his life and actively tries to destroy any relationship he's in,” Ginger replied. Another loud crash from inside made the whole group flinch back.

“Well, wish me luck,” Raven requested before squaring her shoulders and heading toward the house.

The house was a wreck. Cushions from the armchairs and couch were strewn all over. There were ruins of broken plates and glasses everywhere. The stereo was nothing but a ruin of circuits and wires. The TV had a shoe sticking out of the shattered screen. Doors hung off of all the cabinets and cupboards. Two of the kitchen chairs had been thrown out the window, the other two had simply been broken apart and tossed throughout the house. Several holes were punched in the walls and the ruins of a cellphone was heaped by the front door. Several of the cupboards had been torn off the walls and flung around. Assorted silverware, food and other kitchen stuff littered the kitchen and hall floor. “Whoever it is get the  fuck  out!” came a male scream from the living room followed by a leg of the coffee table being flung into the hall.

Swallowing her immense fear, Raven took a deep breath and cautiously came into the house. She wasn't too surprised to see Lady and Mystery streak out the open front door. She could only hope the band members outside managed to catch the frightened animals. “Manson? Its Raven,” she called timidly, peering into the destroyed living room.

Manson stood in the middle of the chaos, his shoulder length haired hanging in his face as his shirtless shoulders heaved. His mismatched eyes were wide and crazed as he glowered at her. “Didn't you hear me?” he hissed, his voice quiet and dangerous. Blood trickled freely from open wounds on his knuckles as he tightened his fists.

“Of course I did but I can't leave you in a state like this,” she replied softly, standing her ground and keeping her eyes locked on his. The danger was so thick in the room that it felt like standing off with a vicious predator.

The singer curled his lips into a sneer, sweat shining on his make-upless face. “Yes well you should have thought about that before you went out with Johnny,” he hissed venomously, throwing a magazine at her. The magazine landed on top of her platform boots and she bent down to pick it up. On the cover was a picture of her and Johnny out at lunch with a smaller picture of a head-shot of Manson looking pissed on the side. 'Marilyn Manson Involved in Sordid Love Triangle' screamed the glaring red headline.

Raven picked it up gingerly, giving it only a cursory look before giving Manson a sad look. “Do you really think I have  any interest in leaving you for Johnny?” she asked quietly, the hurt from what he was assuming twisting at her heart.

Manson glared daggers at her for a moment before turning his head to the side. “I never said that's what my problem is,” he hissed, a muscle in his jaw ticking slightly.

“Then what  is  your problem,” she snapped, exasperation edging into her voice. As terrified as she was right then she was beginning to get just as irritated.

“My problem is that everyone is going to assume that you're like that! These assholes have dragged your name through the mud and that  bitch had the fucking  nerve to give them your real name,” he bit out, not looking her in the eye.

“Wh-wha? How did she...?” Raven gasped, swaying slightly as the edges of her vision went gray. In a second he was there, holding her arms gently; all anger gone for the moment.

“She and some of those paparazzi scum have been spreading your picture around and paying for information,” he hissed, not releasing her. This was a good thing because all the strength left her legs at his statement. The only thing that kept her on her feet was the hold he had on her arms.

They had gone to pay for information about her. With a sinking feeling, she had a thought of who could do such a thing. “Was there any mention of who their informant was?” she whispered, her eye focused on the tops of Manson's platforms.

“Dita mentioned that it was your father,” he growled, his eyes now full of concern instead of rage.

“I had a thought that was who it had been,” she murmured softly, her tone defeated as her shoulders slumped. If they had her full legal name it would only be a matter of time before they got her address as well. There would be cameras everywhere, at least until they were forced to go away.

“Are you okay?” Manson asked, releasing one of her arms to lift her chin.

Meeting his eyes, Raven shook her head while tears brimmed in her hazel orbs. How would she ever be okay again? What if her father had denied payment for information about where she lived? A shudder ran through her frame and she found herself leaning into the singer holding her for comfort. To her surprise, his pale, tattooed arms gently wrapped around her and held her loosely.

“That's not all,” he whispered, pulling back so that he was looking her in the eyes.

“Wh-what else?” whispered the distraught woman. Panic filled her as a suspicion formed. Surely her father hadn't gone  that far?!

“He divulged a lot of private information about you. It'll be spread throughout many tabloids through the month,” he snarled, some of the anger returning to his mismatched gaze.

“D-do you know any of it?” she whimpered, pulling away from the performer. She had wanted to tell him everything in her own time, now it seemed that the tabloids were going to tell everyone in the world. She had to wonder what sick spin her father had put on it to make himself seem like the good guy. Suddenly she felt very nauseous and had to fight not to vomit right there.

“She  tried to tell me but I had other ideas,” he growled, his eyes flicking to the ruins of his phone, “I want  you to be the one to tell me about yourself.”

“Oh,” she whispered softly, a small amount of relief filling her.

“So, just tell me if you're going to leave me because of this,” Manson hissed angrily, making her head shoot up to look at him. His whole body was tense and rage filled his pale figure.

“Why would I leave? None of this is your fault,” Raven replied, astonishment filling her voice. Her answer seemed to knock him off balance, he blinked a bit in surprise before the anger came back.

“That's what some of them say until Dita starts upping the ante. Trust me, she's just barely gotten started,” he whispered, his mismatched eyes hard and bitter.

“Why don't you tell the police about this behavior?” she asked, starting to move towards him slowly. She had to pick her way carefully around bits of broken wood until she stood in front of him. His mismatched eyes burned in his pale face as he glowered down at her, his shoulder length black hair hanging in his face. Up this close, Raven could see every faded scar that criss-crossed across his pale chest. She found herself distantly wondering how many of them were caused by self-harm and how many were from performing.

“I have. They said that as long as she isn't threatening, there isn't anything they can do,” he hissed, the tattoos on his arms rippling slightly as he tensed his fists.

“Okay then, block her number. She may have all the cards but we can show her this won't bother us,” Raven suggesting. She wished she could follow her own advice. Despite what she was saying to Manson what Dita had done bothered her greatly. She suddenly felt extremely vulnerable and unprotected but she didn't dare show that to Manson. In the state he was in he was bound to take it badly.

“That'll only cause her to escalate. Besides I don't dare block her number. Answering her calls are the only way to find out just  what she's done,” he growled.

“I don't care  what  she does! I won't leave you because of her! I've waited for you for far too long just to let you go!” Raven exclaimed before clapping a hand over her mouth. Silence filled the room as Manson stared at her. Not being able to look in his eyes, Raven backed away as horror filled her. She had meant to tell him just how long she had been longing for him a lot later in their relationship.

“How long?” he whispered, his hair hiding his expression. Tension filled the room as Raven backed up to the entryway of the living room.

“I'm not comfortable saying. I know that it'll be really creepy and put me in a wrong light. I wanted to wait until our relationship was established before I told you,” she replied, marveling at how steady her voice was. Her entire body was shaking like a leaf and panic was filling her entire body, making her fingers tingle.

“Am I just an obsession? A trophy you were waiting to claim?” he responded softly, his voice rough and deadly sounding.

“Of  course not! For fucks sake! I would  never  start a relationship with someone  just  because I was obsessed with them! If you recall I was hesitant to even call  this  a relationship because we barely know each other!” she yelled, anger and fear fighting for dominance in her small body.

“How do I know any of that is true?” he whispered, his voice far too soft and quiet.

Raven stared at him aghast, then some of what Ginger said came back to her. He was just using it as an excuse to try to push her away. She would have to show him just how much he meant to her and what this situation was doing to her. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and began to sing. “She's made of hair and bone and little teeth and things that cannot speak,” she sang softly, noticing that his head shot up and his eyes met hers harshly.

“She comes on like a crippled plaything. Her spine is just a string,” she whispered, feeling a bit more confident.

“Raven, stop,” he hissed, his voice full of warning as his bloody hands twitched.

“I wrapped our love in all this foil. Silver tight like spider legs. I never wanted it to ever spoil but flies will lay their eggs,” she hissed her voice filling with anger and regret. The singer flinched back, a snarl on his pale face.

“Take your hatred out on me! Make your victim my head!” she yelled, sounding exasperated and angry.

“Raven, stop!” he yelled, clenching his bleeding hands again.

“You never  ever believed in me. I am your tourniquet,” she whispered, her voice going from frustrated to defeated and sad.

Suddenly he was in front of her, glaring down at her with angry, mismatched eyes. His bleeding hands were pressed against the wall on either side of her head as he leaned toward her. Effectively caging her with his body, the singer glowered down at her heatedly. “Last chance,” he hissed, something flickering violently in his eyes.

“Prosthetic synthesis and butterfly. Sealed up with virgin stitch. If it hurts baby, please tell meeehee. Preserve the innocence,” she sang, her voice full of sadness as she met his eyes. Manson snarled viciously at her, scraping his black nails on the white walls by her head.

“I never wanted it to end like this but flies will lay their eggs,” she whispered, her voice full of sad acceptance. He stiffened at that line, something flickering in his mismatched eyes before all the rage left him.

“Take your hatred out on me. Make your victim my head,” she whispered, placing a hand on his bare arm as tenderness and understanding filled her voice. The next line was interrupted by a harsh kiss.

Manson wrapped his arms tightly around her, pulling her away from the wall and against his body. His tongue demanded entrance before fairly plunging into her mouth once it opened. The kiss was harsh and desperate as he held her in an almost crushing grip. One hand moved up to tangle in her black hair while the other moved down to grip her butt possessively. Then, as suddenly as he started the kiss, he broke it and shoved her away from him.

Raven looked at him with a mixture of confusion and hurt as her heart thumped erratically in her chest. Her lips still tingled from the harsh kiss and a low ache of arousal burned in her loins. What on Earth had  that been about? “I'll be going on tour,” he growled, not meeting her eyes.

“What?” she asked, feeling even more confused.

“I was on tour when I first met you and I have to finish that up,” he replied, moving past her and towards the stairs.

“Are you just using it as an excuse to run away?” she asked quietly, turning to look at him. The singer froze, turning his head to glare back at her. The anger in his eyes caused her blood to run cold and she very nearly bolted. Despite the fact he hadn't actually answered her, Raven knew she had her answer. The singer was terrified under all the bluster. What he was terrified of, she didn't know.

“Marilyn, take me with you,” she pleaded, walking up to him and placing a cautious hand on his bare arm. The look he gave her was almost enough to make her back away. His mismatched eyes blazed with rage as he yanked his arm out of her grasp.

“Afraid I'll be unfaithful,” he hissed, his whitish blue and brown eyes narrowing.

“That didn't even cross my mind! Why are you being such a dick?” Raven snarled, running a hand through her black hair. She knew he was just trying to push her away any way he could but she wasn't willing to let him do that. She had to break through to him somehow.

“I have no interest in prolonging the inevitable. Its better if we stop seeing each other now,” he growled, not looking at her.

Raven felt as if the world fell away at her feet. She felt as if she had been gutted by a sharp knife, all of her innards dropping through the crumbled hole of the world below her. “You don't mean that,” she gasped out breathlessly, her heart nearly ceasing to beat as she struggled to draw breath. Her extremities felt numb and tingly as the color began to bleed from her vision.

“Oh, but I do. I'd rather save myself the heartbreak of you leaving,” he growled, his bleeding hand tightening on the railing on the stairs.

“You... you aren't even going to give me a chance to prove myself?” she asked in a small voice, struggling to speak around the lump in her throat. Slowly she slid to her knees, sharp splinters of wood poked into her legs but she ignored it. It was all she could do to keep breathing as her heart clenched into a painful ball in her chest. Hot tears rolled down her pale cheeks as she covered her mouth to hide her sobs. She had barely known him, why did this hurt so much?

“I already know the results. It all ends the same,” he responded quietly, the muscles in his back tensed as he refused to look back at her.

“It won't end the same with me. Please, don't do this. At least take some time to cool off first,” she pleaded in a weak voice, her hand clenched in her Marilyn Manson t-shirt; right above her aching heart.

“No matter how much time I give this, it won't work. The bitch is right about one thing, it all ends the same,” he repeated, as if reciting a mantra.

“Ever hear of self-fulfilling prophecy?” she whispered, struggling to her feet as she pushed the emotional pain under a rug. Wincing at the feeling of wood and glass that had torn through her black jeans and into her legs, Raven leaned against a wall before stumbling towards him. Every step was agony as the glass and wood jostled inside fresh wounds but she ignored the pain as she walked up to the rock star.

Manson turned his head slightly to look at her, shock registering on his face. He obviously hadn't expected her to be walking around. His eyes flicked to her legs as an expression of concern began to replace the cold mask of indifference. “How badly are you hurt?” he whispered, moving towards her immediately.

“That doesn't matter. No matter what you do or say, I'll prove to you that I want this; no matter how hard it is,” she responded, her voice full of determination as she approached him.

Once she was close enough the black haired female grabbed Manson's waist roughly, pulling him close to her. “Raven, let go. I need to check your wounds,” he semi-ordered as he tried to wriggle out of her grasp.

“I'm not letting go until I show you just how much I love you,” Raven whispered, moving her hands up to grasp his face. His concerned, mismatched eyes met her love and sadness filled hazel ones as she stood on her tip-toes.

“Raven, don't...,” he whispered, trying to incline his head away to no avail.

“Too late,” she murmured, forcing his head back face her with her hands. Gently, lovingly, Raven's lips met his. He stiffened under her, his lips pursing tightly as she held his head to hers. Tears rolling from her closed eyes, Raven began pouring all of her feelings for the man in her arms into the kiss.  'Please. Please,' she begged silently as her tongue gently licked at his slowly relaxing lips.

The kiss stretched on far too long with no response from the far too stiff rock star. With a small sob against his lips, Raven began to break the kiss until his arms wrapped tightly around her. His mouth was hot and open on hers as his tongue fairly plundered her mouth. Raven met his fierceness with her own, removing her hands from his face to wrap around his waist. Manson growled at her response, tightening his hold on her imperceptibly.

Finally he broke the kiss with a groan, resting his forehead on hers while they both panted. Fear, love and lust battled for dominance in his eyes as he stared at her. His hands shook slightly on her back, clenching and unclenching. “What are you doing to me?” he whispered softly, running a hand down her cheek.

“Does that mean you aren't leaving me?” she whispered, leaning into his touch, capturing his hand and kissing his thumb gently. The singer drug in a ragged sigh, the arm still holding her flexing slightly.

“I couldn't if I wanted to,” he whispered, rubbing his forehead against hers. Then he pulled back, glaring down at the blood on her black jeans.

“Come on, we have to take care of those,” he growled, tugging her upstairs and into the bathroom.

“Then what was that earlier?” Raven asked as she sat on the closed lid of the toilet.

“I doubt I would have been able to keep away from you for very long,” he murmured, his voice rough as he rummaged through the cupboard under the sink.

“Why leave at all?” she asked quietly, watching as he pulled out a container of cotton balls, rubbing alcohol and a box of band-aids.

Manson turned to her, defeat and sadness evident in his face. “Because, for some reason, you're different than anyone I've been with. I felt guilty for sleeping with that whore when I've never felt guilty for it before,” he whispered, staring into her eyes intently.

“That's... wow,” she whispered softly, awe and a rush of love filling her.

“Now, take off your pants,” he ordered, crossing his arms over his bare chest.

“Wh-what?” she sputtered, going red and recoiling in horror.

Manson sighed, looking amused and frustrated as he shook his head. “Raven, as much as I would love to ravish you, I just want to take a look at your wounds,” he replied, a small grin quirking his lips.

“Oh, right,” she gasped, getting to her feet. She had forgotten about that. Taking in a deep, shaky breath, Raven began to unbutton her black jeans with unsteady hands. Already panic filled her chest and she was having trouble breathing. Biting her lip to keep from sobbing, Raven slowly unzipped her pants.

The fact that she was having such difficulty wasn't lost on Manson. Noticing that she had begun shaking like a leaf while just unbuttoning her pants, the singer had averted his gaze. As much as he longed to see her without her clothes he didn't want to traumatize her. “Raven, its okay. I'm not watching,” he whispered, his mismatched eyes focused on the white tile of the bathroom floor.

Raven felt sad at the relief that filled her body at his statement. Could she ever be comfortable enough around him to be able to take of her clothes without having a full blown panic attack? Angry tears prickling in her eyes, the black haired female pulled off her jeans and sat on the closed lid of the toilet. “Okay,” she whispered, tugging the hem of her shirt over her lap to hide her panties.

Manson approached her slowly, his gaze firmly fixed on the floor until her bare feet came into view. Raising his gaze slightly so he saw her wounds and nothing more, the singer knelt down to examine the wounds. Making a small hiss of displeasure, Manson gently began to remove bits of wood and glass from the wounds with tweezers.

Raven flinched, making a pained noise as she watched him. The fact that he respected her enough to keep his gaze on her wounds made her smile. He was acting like such a gentleman, a sharp contrast from how the papers had portrayed him. “I'm sorry, but this is going to hurt even worse,” he whispered, pressing a cotton ball against the opening of the bottle of rubbing alcohol and tipping until the cotton was damp. Then he began to gently dab at the small wounds, drawing small whimpers of pain from her lips.

“Raven, if you can stop that, it would be appreciated,” came his strained voice as he continued to gently dab.

Raven blinked at the tone of his voice. It almost sounded as if her pain was tearing him apart. Nodding slightly, she bit her lower lip to muffle her noises of pain. It worked until he had to dab a particularly long, wide, shallow wound. Raven bit her lip hard, tasting the coppery taste of her own blood as she flinched back. “Almost done,” he soothed, running a hand down an uninjured part of her leg.

Then it was over and he began to gently place band-aids over the wounds. Once he was done the singer straightened, his mismatched gaze going to the blood trickling from her lower lip. Growling softly, Manson gently took her face in his hands; his burning gaze fixed on the small trickle of blood. “Manson, wha?” she began, gasping as he slowly licked away the small trail of blood.

Then singer stiffened against her, letting out a low growl of satisfaction as his eyes closed. He held the coppery fluid in his mouth as long as he could, savoring the taste of her life fluid. Then, reluctantly, he swallowed before opening his eyes and fixing his gaze on her. “Better than wine,” he whispered softly, cupping her cheek.

“Uh, erm... what about your wounds,” she gasped, grasping at any reason to make him back off right now. The way he was looking at her as well as the tone of his voice was doing odd things to her insides. Not to mention the fact that he had licked her blood had been oddly arousing. If she didn't get some space soon she may just give in to her urge to let him ravage her.

“What about them,” he growled softly, moving to nip gently under her chin.

“I sh-should dress them,” she whispered, closing her eyes and fighting a valiant battle against her own body. Everything inside of her was screaming for her to just let him take her. She was so aroused that the tips of her fingers tingled and her womanhood pulsed in delicious agony.

“What's the rush,” he whispered, his voice rough and husky as his lips brushed against her racing pulse.

“D-don't want them to get infected,” she whispered, her voice sounding just as rough and husky. Deep down she didn't want him to stop, she wanted him to keep going; to just fucking take her already. The force of that mindless need scared her deeply. Even with her other boyfriends she had never felt such a deep, ravenous need.

To both her relief and disappointment the singer pulled back, offering his bleeding hands to her. The knuckles were torn badly and bleeding freely, making her stomach lurch slightly. Despite loving gory horror movies the sight of real blood always made her feel like puking. “These look pretty bad,” she whispered softly, reaching down and grabbing the alcohol and box of cotton balls.

“That'll happen when you punch walls,” he responded, a hint of amusement threaded in his voice.

Smiling sadly, Raving dabbed an alcohol soaked cotton ball gently against the open wounds on his left hand. Manson hissed in pain but didn't try to pull back his hand. “I'm sorry,” she whispered softly, still gently dabbing. Once she was satisfied with one hand, she cautiously moved to the other. The singer made a pained noise as she gently dabbed at the wounds.

“Almost done,” she assured, finishing up on cleaning the shallow wounds.

Realizing band-aids simply weren't going to be enough, Raven dashed to the cupboard under the sink and dug around for the gauze. She seemed oblivious to the fact that she still lacked pants and was giving Manson quite the show. With a noise of triumph she grabbed the roll of gauze, scampering back to the singer. As she gently wrapped his hands she missed the look of raw lust on his face while he looked down at her. “There, all better,” she stated, giving the freshly bandaged appendages a gentle kiss each.

Manson stared down at the small woman, a deep hunger in his mismatched eyes. Right now he wanted nothing more than to kiss her senseless, carry her to the bedroom and fuck her into the mattress. Just the brief view of her lime green panties had been enough to fan his desire into a roaring flame. “Not quite,” he growled softly, pulling her into his arms gently.

“Now its better,” he purred, burrowing his nose into the crook of her neck. She smelled like oranges and lilac today with a hint of another, far more spicy scent buried underneath. His need for her grew to the point of excruciating pain and he groaned as he pressed his lower body against hers needily.

Raven's hazel eyes went wide as both embarrassment and arousal washed through her as she felt his arousal against her. Just the knowledge that she had caused such a reaction in him made her confidence shoot up a few pegs. “M-marilyn?” she whispered in an unsure voice, more than just a little afraid to look him in the eyes.

“Oh god Raven, I need you,” he hissed heatedly, pressing his steel hardness against her thigh.

The tone of his voice making her gaze snap to his, Raven gasped at the raw need and lust burning in his mismatched orbs. She made a small noise as a throb of painful arousal shot through her womanhood. Knowing she wouldn't be able to put up much resistance if she kept looking at him, the small female lowered her gaze to focus on his platforms. This action caused Manson to growl low in his chest as he gripped her chin in a rough grip, lifting her face. “Look at me!” he snarled harshly when she still avoided his gaze, giving her chin a small shake.

Timidly, Raven locked her gaze with his; nearly going weak in the knees from the intensity of the emotions in his eyes. “Oh god, Marilyn,” she gasped, a bit of her need slipping into her voice. The singer closed his eyes, dragging in a ragged breath before he kissed her. The kiss was gentle at first but quickly heightened in intensity as one of his hands tangled in her hair while his tongue swirled inside her mouth.

“Hey Raven! You okay up there?” came a worried male voice from downstairs.

Reluctantly, Raven broke the kiss. “Yeah! I'm fine! He's calmed down quite a bit!” she called back. She couldn't help but notice that Manson's arms trembled slightly and his breathing was harsh and ragged.

“Don't you dare think of stopping,” he snarled, tightening his hold on her. His eyes had an almost desperate light in them as he stared down at her intently. His rock hard member twitched against her leg, causing him to moan softly and close his eyes. He was so aroused it was extremely painful and he desperately wanted to relieve it with woman in his arms.

Raven looked at the panting, pained looking rock star, biting her lower lip. His desperation made her own arousal heighten to the point of extreme need but she was still hesitant. She knew that if she stripped in front of him right now she would burst into tears and the moment would be ruined. With a blush, she realized there was another way to relieve him without causing herself undue trauma. “I-I'm not ready for what you're hoping for but I have another idea,” she whispered, unable to look him in the eyes as embarrassment began to rise within her.

“And what is that?” he asked in a husky voice.

Raven swallowed thickly, trying to pull out of his tight grasp. This only caused a low growl as he tightened his hold. “Y-you have to let me go first,” she whispered, placing a timid hand on his bare chest. Manson made a displeased noise before he released her. Thankful that her shirt was just long enough to shield her panties from his burning gaze, Raven quickly pulled on her black jeans before grabbing one of his bandaged hands gently. With a gentle but insistent tug she led him out of the bathroom and down the hall to his temporary bedroom.

Manson closed the door, locking it behind him before he wrapped his arms around Raven again. He grinned as she shuddered in his arms before snuggling into his bare chest. Slowly, his wrapped hands roamed down her back to rest on her hips. “You're so damn beautiful,” he breathed, nipping gently at the crook of her neck.

Raven closed her eyes, her breath caught in her throat had what he had just said. Marilyn Manson, a man she would have thought impossible to get, had just called her beautiful. The fact filled her with happiness, lust and love. “Oh Marilyn. I love you so much,” she whispered, two small tears of happiness escaping her hazel eyes as she cupped his pale cheek. Then she pulled free of his hold with a small, nervous smile.

“C-could you sit on the bed?” she asked timidly, her face a deep red as she looked at the carpet. Her pale hands fiddled with the hem of her black t-shirt fitfully.

Tilting his head in confusion, the performer prowled towards the bed and sat down. His mismatched eyes stayed focused on her intently while she continued to fidget. Raven looked up at him, biting her lower lip cutely before walking cautiously over to him. As she got closer to him, she couldn't help but feel more and more nervous. She had only done this a few times with her previous boyfriends, Manson had probably had this done to him by far more skilled women.

Moving a strand of her ebony hair behind her ear, Raven went to her knees between Manson's black jeans covered legs. Trying to steady her breathing as well as her nervous heartbeat, Raven rubbed the tops of his thighs slowly while she took in several calming breaths. “Raven?” he growled, sounding confused as well as a tad surprised. Taking in another deep breath and blowing it out slowly, Raven reached for the button on his jeans and unfastened it with an audible snap.

With her heart beating in her throat and her arousal fairly soaking the material of her lime green panties, Raven slowly dragged down his zipper. She hitched in an unsteady breath at the sound of it running down. With an unsteady hand, she reached in and freed his throbbing hardness. It stood six inches from a nest of dark pubes and a bead of pre dribbled out of the small slit in the top. Grasping the velvety hardness in her hand, she closed her eyes and tried to psyche herself up.

“Raven, no. You don't have to...,” the singer began to protest, beginning to reach down to pull her up.

Before he could grab hold of her, Raven licked timidly at his tip. The small action was enough to make him freeze as a small moan left his lips. Emboldened by his reaction, the black haired female slowly licked his shaft from base to tip with one long stroke of her hot tongue. The singer stiffened under her, his breath catching slightly as his hands twisted in the black silk bed sheets. “Oh fuck,” he hissed huskily. Smiling slightly, Raven did it again; earning the same response.

Eyeing his twitching length warily, Raven positioned her mouth over his tip and slowly began to engulf him in her warm mouth. She held her black hair out of her face as she took him part of the way into her mouth. Manson groaned heatedly, his hips moving up slightly as she slid her mouth down on his pulsing length. “Oh shit, Raven,” he hissed, his voice rough and shaky as his thighs fairly shook with the effort of stopping himself from thrusting into her hot mouth.

Breathing through her nose, Raven managed to get him halfway in her mouth before her gag reflex started to kick in. Using her hand to make up the difference, Raven began to move slowly up and down. Her tongue wrapped around his rock hard shaft as she moved her tight mouth slowly up and down while sucking. Manson groaned, throwing back his head and wrapping a hand in her black hair. “Oh ffffuuuuck,” his hissed harshly, tightening his grip on the sheets as she began to move faster.

Small spurts of salty pre dribbled onto her tongue as she continued fairly suckling his shaft. His small moans and growls only drove her onward, her own loins pulsing with need. She had never enjoyed sucking anyone off before and was amazed by how aroused this was making her. “R-raven, s-stop... I'm gonna,” he hissed, tensing his thighs as he tried to fight off his orgasm. Determined to savor all of him, Raven continued; much to the singer's apparent dismay.

“Sh-shit. R-raven s-stop! Oh fuck... I c-can't hold it much l-longer,” he growled through clenched teeth as his member swelled within her tight mouth. Then both of his hands gripped the top of her head, shoving her down on his pulsing shaft as he exploded into the back of her throat.

Breathing through her nose while she gagged helplessly, Raven fought to relax her throat while he poured his hot, salty seed down her throat. After an endless moment, her throat finally relaxed and the gagging stopped. Swallowing reflexively, Raven took everything he offered until he pulled his softening member from her mouth with a pop.

Manson laid back, grabbing her and pulling her roughly on top of him while he kissed her heatedly. His tongue plunged into her mouth, tasting the saltiness of his own cum on her tongue and finding he enjoyed the taste. After few minutes he pulled back, his burning mismatched eyes meeting hers. “I'll have to return the favor some day,” he purred silkily, gently caressing her face with a bandaged hand.

Raven blushed a deep crimson, chuckling uneasily as she tried to roll off of the rock star. Manson only tightened his hold, rolling them so they both laid on their sides. His mismatched eyes met her hazel ones steadily as he tenderly moved a strand of her black hair behind her ear. “I'm going to miss you while I'm on tour,” he whispered softly, his hand coming down to cup her pale cheek.

“Are you sure I can't come?” Raven wheedled, finding herself not wanting to be separated from him again.

“Unfortunately yes. Just like there are things you want to wait to tell me, there are things I want to keep from you for the time being,” he whispered, wrapping a tattooed arm around her thin waist.

“I guess that's fair. So, are you gonna pay for the hotel as well as the damages?” Raven quipped, slapping his scarred chest playfully. The only response she got was a deep chuckle before her lips were captured in a tender kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: I'm an evil person. Thanks for all the views so far! Please don't be shy and give me some pointers! I assure you, they're always welcome. Rights to the song 'Tourniquet' belong to Marilyn Manson.


	9. The Path of Misery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Sorry for the delay on this chapter. I had an incident with Open Office eating the original document. Four unuploaded pages were lost, much to my extreme displeasure. Lucky for me I had already updated all the chapters on Adult Fanfiction with all my various corrections so at least there's that. Onwards!

While Manson was busy downstairs, Raven had snuck Kathy into the singer's black duffel.  Manson had wanted to wait until midnight to leave but, with everything that he had done to the house, Raven had decided it was best if he left before Amanda came home.  “Keep him safe for me,” she whispered to the plush dog before she stuffed it lovingly under a pile of shirts.  Then she turned and went to the stairs to assess the damage downstairs.  To her surprise, when she got to the stairs she saw the various band members running back and forth while picking up debris.

“What's going on down here?” the black haired woman asked, quirking a brow as she came down the stairs.  Ginger, who had been relegated to holding the animals, stood in an awkward squat while holding Lady's collar with one hand.  In the other hand was Mystery who seemed to be doing her level best to tear the drummer's arm off.  The bleach blonde's head shot up at the sound of her voice, a look of immense relief appearing on his acne scarred face.

“Manson ordered us to pick up the mess and get ready to go.  I was told to make sure the animals didn't run off while the front door was open,” Ginger replied with a strained look.

With a small grin, Raven whistled softly and patted her black jeans covered leg.  Wuffing in response, Lady yanked free of Ginger's hold and ran to Raven's side.  The black mutt sniffed at a blood covered jeans leg before look up at her master with dim concern.  “I'm okay Lady.  Go to bed,” Raven urged, pointing upstairs.  With an almost grateful look, the fluffy canine ran up the stairs and hid under Raven's bed.

Raven then gently grabbed the overweight black cat from the relieved Ginger and carried the cat up to Amanda's room.  Once she had shut both the bedrooms, Raven headed back downstairs.  Looking around, she noticed that two member's were gone.  “Where's Manson and Tim?” she asked Ginger, who was now beginning to pick up some of the wood splinters on the floor.

“Oh, Manson is upstairs getting ready.  He sent Tim off to trade his rental car for the tour bus.  He should be back any time now.  He also arranged for someone to come fix the house as well as an extended stay hotel.  The limo will be here to pick you up at 7,” Ginger responded, carrying an armful of debris out the open front door.

“L-limo?!”  Mandy and I have our own cars!  I don't think this is nec...,” Raven began to protest, only to interrupted by Ginger.

“Just go with it.  It'll be easier for everyone,” he responded, leaving before she had a chance to ask anymore questions.

Raven and the three members of the band finally managed to pick up all the debris after a half hour.  Now the three members were busy moving all of the equipment from the upstairs to the front lawn.  Raven had offered to help them but had been rebuffed severely by John.  “Raven, when he comes back downstairs he won't be the person you've known for these past few days.  He's going to be a lot more violent,” the guitarist warned, grabbing her arm gently.

“Well I kinda expected that.  I've seen video of him on stage and he's a lot different off stage.  I fail to see what that has to do with me helping you,” the black haired female responded, giving him a semi-impatient look.

“He'll have all of our heads if he sees you helping us, even if you offered.  He enters this sort of... alpha male mode.  Just, let us do it; it'll be better for everyone involved,” the bleach blonde responded before rushing off to grab a few guitars from upstairs.

“That's almost what Ginger said,” she murmured to herself.  Her hazel eyes flicked upstairs with a worried glance.  Would he really be that unpredictable?

After everything had been moved outside Tim had pulled up with the tour bus.  The three remaining band members lined up to say goodbye, Ginger being the first one in line.  The drummer began to step forward with a gentle smile on his face when Pogo shoved him out of the way.  The two band mates glared daggers at each other for a few moments while the mohawked man moved toward Raven.  Turning his insane gaze back to the black haired woman, a perverted smile curled the keyboardist's lips.  The shy ones were just  so  much fun to tease.

Not liking the way the keyboardist was leering at her, Raven had to fight the urge to run away.  From what she had seen of Pogo, he was unpredictable at best and she wasn't sure if she could trust him.  Pogo stopped mere inches from her, smiling down at her in a not too sane way.  Then, with no warning, he grabbed her in his arms and lowered his face to hers, his lips a hair away from touching hers.  “Pogo!” Ginger yelled in a warning tone, which was summarily ignored by the keyboardist.

Raven desperately tried to put some distance between her and Pogo, flusterment and shock coursing through her at the same time.  All she managed to do in all her struggling was put both her hands on his black jacket covered chest.  Pogo only chuckled at her fruitless struggles, tightening his hold on her slightly.  “You know, you're so adorable when flustered,” he purred softly, his eyes dancing with a mad glee.

“Madonna Wayne Gacy!” came a furious male voice from the stairs.  With a not too sane giggle, Pogo turned his head to look at the source of the voice.

There, at the top of the stairs and in full stage gear, stood an  extremely pissed off Manson.  “Let. Her. Go,” he bit out, enunciating each word clearly as he glowered down at Pogo.  The keyboardist immediately released her, running out the door with a crazed giggle.  Then, looking very much like a predator approaching its prey, Manson prowled down the stairs.  His cold, mismatched eyes rested angrily on the two members of his band that were left inside.

“As for you two, get outside,” he hissed, stopping in front of them and glaring down at the two men.

John and Ginger exchanged nervous looks before looking back up at the furious performer.  Every line in his body fairly screamed of authority as he glowered down at them.  “You heard me!  Get the fuck out there!” he roared, tightening his bandaged hands into fists.

They retreated so fast that Raven could have sworn she saw smoke.  Turning her head to watch their retreat, she turned back to face Manson only to be greeted with his corset wearing torso mere inches from her face.  Craning her head up, she looked into the intensely furious eyes of the rock star before she was grabbed in a rough embrace and kissed harder than she had ever been in her life.

Manson's lips crashed into hers as he nipped at her lips to get her to open them.  When she finally opened with a small gasp, his tongue plunged into her mouth and aggressively battled hers while he held her tightly against him.  After a few minutes he broke the kiss with a breathless, ragged growl, resting his painted forehead against hers.

Raven was grateful for the fact that he was holding her so tightly, if he hadn't been she was sure she would have gone to her knees.  That kiss had been unlike anything she had ever felt.  In fact it was more like staking a claim than a kiss.  Looking up into his mismatched eyes, she found her suspicions confirmed.  His blueish white and brown eyes gleamed with a mixture of rage, lust and what she could only call ownership.

Suddenly she found herself being yanked outside, stumbling over herself in her struggle to keep up with the much taller rock star.  Johnny, who had been standing outside and chatting with Ginger, turned to look at the pair with concern.  The dark haired actor made a move to intervene when Raven shook her head.  She knew that if Johnny came anywhere near right now it would only further enrage the singer.  Manson turning his head to snarl at the actor only served to confirm her suspicions.  Johnny gave her a brief look of concern before nodding.  He would stay back but he would watch the situation closely

Manson came to a sudden stop in front of the big, black tour bus, nearly causing her to crash into him.  He glared at the large vehicle before letting out a loud whistle.  Three band members came running out, lining up along the side as Ginger ran to join them.  Once they were all looking at Manson raptly, the performer pulled Raven in front of him so her back was against his chest.  Yanking her head to the side so she was facing him, he captured her lips in another possessing kiss.

Raven's hazel eyes fluttered shut as Manson's tongue fairly plundered her mouth.  She moaned softly into his mouth, leaning back into him for support.  Then, as suddenly as he started the kiss, he broke it to shoot a heated glare at his band mates.  “M-marilyn?” she gasped out in an uncertain voice, her knees still weak from the heated kiss.

“She's mine, you hear?  None of you are to do anything sexual to her or even kiss her,” he hissed, tightening his hold on her thin waist.

Raven reached up, gently cupping a make-up covered cheek.  “Manson, I don't think this is really necessary,” she whispered softly, trying to make him look at her by pushing gently on his face.

“I think it is.  You belong to me and won't have any of them thinking that you're a 'free lunch',” he snarled, looking down at her with rage filled eyes.

“None of us would do  anything to Raven,” Ginger responded softly, only to be contradicted by Pogo's derisive snort.  Manson growled low in his throat, his gaze shooting to the keyboardist.

“Pogo, I know you like being an antagonistic asshole but for right now can you cut it out?  All you're doing is riling him up.  You and I  both know you don't have any actual interest in me,” Raven requested, pinching the bridge of her nose in irritation.

When she looked up all of the band was looking at her with a mixture of shock and awe.  Even Manson's stage persona had slipped a bit to reveal his astonishment.  “What?  I could tell just by the way he was looking at me that it was all a game to him,” she quipped, a small smile of amusement appearing on her face at his look of surprise.  Turning in his slightly loosened arms, Raven gently cupped his face in both her hands to ensure she had his full attention.  “I know you don't like your real name but allow me its use just this once,” she requested quietly, her hazel eyes locked on his mismatched ones.

“Just this once,” Manson replied, barely audible as his eyes closed.

Raven waited until his eyes opened and met hers until she continued.  “Brian Hugh Warner, Marilyn Manson, whoever you choose to be at any time, I love you.  Even if this whole thing goes horribly, you will have my heart until the day I die.  No one else even has a chance for your place in my heart,” she assured loud enough for everyone in the yard to hear her.  She left out the part that she had tried and failed for years to have a relationship before she met him.  That information could wait for another time.

Manson's tattooed arms tightened around her as he gave her a gentle, loving kiss.  Raven's pale arms wrapped around his equally pale neck as she responded to his kiss with vigor.  Giving his lips a gentle lick, the black haired female broke the kiss with a small grin.  The singer closed his mismatched eyes before giving her lips a soft brush.  “I'm going to miss you Raven,” he whispered.  Then he released her and stormed into the huge bus.

Raven was upstairs packing, having already gotten the animals into their crates.  Johnny had long since gone on her insistence.  She hadn't wanted him around when the bomb went off.  “What the  fuck happened to the  house ?!” came a familiar female screech from downstairs.  With a small wince, Raven gathered her courage and headed downstairs.  This wasn't going to be a fun one to explain to her friend.

Amanda was standing in the kitchen, looking at the empty walls where the cabinets had been when Raven came down.  The statues had long since been brought in from the yard and set safely in the living room but Raven doubted that was any solace.  The curly brown haired woman whirled around, her green eyes flickering with immense anger.

“What the  fuck happened Raven?!” Amanda asked in a strained voice, looking like she was doing everything she could to hold back her rage.

“Erm, that's a very long story Mandy.  Let's go to the living room,” Raven urged, leading her friend into the living room and sitting down in one of the armchairs.  Once Amanda had been seated, Raven launched into the story.

After Raven finished, Amanda heaved a defeated sigh as she looked up at her friend with loving exasperation.  “Why couldn't you have fallen for a nice, normal guy?” she asked in playful frustration.

“I'm sorry,” the black haired female whispered, looking down at her platforms.  She felt extremely bad for involving her childhood friend in all of this.  If it wasn't for her, Amanda would probably be living a fairly normal life right now.

“No, hey!  I was joking!  Despite everything I'm actually really happy that you're happy.  I haven't seen you this happy in years,” the other female assured, grasping Raven's left hand in both of hers.

“Well I'm still sorry.  I've turned your life completely upside down,” Raven murmured, not looking her friend in the eyes.

“Hey, I always said I wanted some excitement around here.  I certainly got my wish,” Amanda quipped with a grin.

Finally Raven let out a chuckle, placing her right hand over Amanda's as she looked up.  “I guess we both got a wish granted in a way.  Though I never imagined anything like this.  God I'm not looking forward to when someone recognizes me from the tabloids,” the black clad female grumbled, releasing Amanda's hand to run her hand through her black locks.  Amanda chuckled in response, tightening her grip on her friend's hands slightly.

A gentle knock broke the silence and Raven got to her feet, going to the door.  She opened the door to reveal a tall man dressed in a tuxedo who smiled down at her politely.  His short, black, slicked back hair caught the light as he removed his cap and gave a small bow.  “Are you Raven?” he asked in a medium tone voice.

“Oh, er, yeah!  Just give us a few seconds to get our stuff,” Raven replied, a light blush coloring her cheeks as she took the man in.  His gray-blue eyes shined with amusement as he straightened and moved inside.

“No need, just point the way and I will fetch them,” he responded, keeping his eyes focused on her.

A small gasp drew her attention to Amanda who was standing at the mouth of the living room.  A light blush colored her cheeks as she looked over the limo driver.  It was fairly clear she approved of the guy as well.  “Th-they're upstairs in my room.  The door at the top of the stairs,” Raven stammered, pointing at the stairs with a shaky finger.  The driver bowed slightly to them both before going up the stairs at a fast clip.  As soon as the man was gone, Amanda had turned to Raven with an awed look.  Raven only rolled her eyes and chuckled.  She knew her friend would want to gab over the guy later.

The hotel was absolutely huge and looked very familiar to Raven.  As she looked at the dangling chandeliers more closely, Amanda was looking around with her mouth hanging open in awe.  “Holy shit, I wonder what our rooms look like,” the curly haired female whispered to her friend.  Their awe was broken by a forlorn whimper and angry meow from within the pet crates.

Raven looked to see their driver still holding their luggage with a pleasant grin on his face.  “You know, we probably have those from here,” she suggested meekly.  Why did this guy have to be so handsome?  Where were all these gorgeous people when she had been in high-school?  It didn't seem fair.

“Nonsense.  Just check in and lead the way,” he replied smoothly, amusement glittering in his gray-blue eyes.

After they had checked in and gotten their key, all three of them got into an elevator and rode it to the top of the building.  Raven couldn't help but realize this was normally where they kept the suites.  As soon as the elevator doors opened a rush of deja vu hit the black haired female so hard she took a couple steps back.  She was certain she had been here before and that it had been fairly recently.  With a small shudder, she followed the others out of the elevator and into the hallway.

As they walked, Raven noticed a very familiar looking bodyguard standing in front of a door.  As they got closer, she was able to make out that it was indeed Jerome.  The absolutely huge man watched them placidly from behind his dark sunglasses with an eyebrow quirked.  “J-Jerome?” she asked in a shaky voice even though she knew full well who he was.

“Its nice to see you again Ms. Raven.  Are these friends of yours?” he asked neutrally, inclining his head to look at Amanda and the driver.

“Well the woman is.  This guy here was our limo driver,” Raven replied in a weak voice, feeling Amanda's hand on her bare arm.

“Do you know this guy?” Amanda asked, looking at the other female with confusion.

“S-sorta.  He's Johnny's body guard,” the black haired female replied, sounding more nervous than she would like.  She had spent a couple days with Johnny and he had been nothing but a gentleman.  There was honestly no reason for her to feel as nervous as she did.  Well, besides the fact that just being around him made her feel funny.  It was almost as if she was developing a crush on the actor.

“Hey Charlie,” Jerome called to the guy holding their luggage, giving him a friendly wave.

“How's it going Jerry,” the driver responded with a grin.

“Does that mean Johnny's in there?” Amanda asked, looking at the closed door with a mixture of awe and nervousness.  It seemed as if even her friend wasn't immune to just how much star power the man had or how handsome he was.

“W-well not always,” Raven responded before looking from Jerome to Charlie.  It almost looked as if the two of them were related in some way.  Also the familiar way they had addressed each other told her that they knew each other rather well.

“So, uh, how do you guys know each other,” she asked timidly, her hazel gaze flicking from one man to the other.

“We're brothers,” Charlie replied with a small smile.

“Ah, right, well we should get going to our room.  Tell Johnny we're here will ya,” Raven replied with a small smile before continuing down the hall.

“Will do Ms. Raven!  Don't be a stranger!” Jerome replied with a wave to the retreating group.

The black clad female led the small party a ways further down the long hall before coming to a large door.  Wondering how Amanda was going to react, Raven inserted the key card and opened the room.  Amanda turned on a light, gasping in utter amazement.  “Wha, wow.  This place is huge,” she whispered, walking in slowly and gawking at the huge space.  Charlie came in after her, setting the luggage and pet crates down gently before straightening.

“Do you need anything else?” he asked with a small smile.  Amanda looked at the driver with a look that said she would like him on a platter.  A fact that wasn't lost on Charlie, who smiled at her with amusement dancing in his eyes.

“Uh-um n-no.  Thank you,” Raven stammered, fiddling with the hem of her black shirt and looking anywhere but at him.  She always felt so awkward around handsome men.

“Alright.  I hope you have a nice stay.  I have to get back to work but I'll be around later,” he responded with a pointed look at Amanda.

The curly haired female blushed and looked about to respond when an odd song began to come from Raven's pocket.  'Somebody to Love' by Jefferson Airplane played from the deep red phone was Raven pulled it from her pocket.  “Geeze that was quick,” Raven murmured, opening the phone to answer it.

Amanda, who had been distracted by the phone ringing, turned back to Charlie only to find he had left.  “Well at least he'll be back later,” Amanda said with a shrug as she bent to release Mystery and Lady.  The two animals immediately ran out of the crates, running off to explore their new surroundings.  Then, while Raven was still on the phone, the curly haired female picked up her luggage and went to do some exploring of her own.

“Raven!  I'm so glad to hear that you made it to the hotel okay!” Johnny exclaimed, sounding extremely relieved.

“Why wouldn't I have?” Raven quipped, a small smile on her face as she walked into the living room.

“Yeah, I guess you're right.  Charlie's a pretty safe driver,” the actor responded.  A playful smile curled on his goateed lips as he gripped his deep blue phone.

“Johnny, did you have anything to do with where we're staying,” the black haired female asked in an amused tone as she sat on the couch.

“I might have made a few suggestions to Marilyn,” he chuckled, looking down at the bags he held.

“What are you up to?” Raven asked suspiciously, smiling as her dog hopped into her lap.

“You'll just have to wait and see,” he purred in a playful tone, “I'll be there in a few minutes.  See ya then!”  Then the line went dead.

As she stared at her now silent phone, she heard Amanda exclaim in delight from one of the bedrooms.  With a smile, she got off the white couch and headed into the hall.  Two doors spaced quite a ways from each other greeted her.  The door to the left was pink with a blood red rose on the door and stood slightly open.  Her smile widening, Raven opened the door and went in.  The sight that greeted her made her wince in utter disgust.

The room was a powdery, bright pink with florescent pink shag carpet.  The bed was a huge, pink, princess looking affair with four posters overflowing with soft pink gossamer ribbons.  In the middle of the saccharine nightmare of a bed was Amanda.  The look on her friend's face was one of awed bliss as she rolled on the pink silk sheet with her eyes closed.  Carefully composing her face into a mask of happiness, Raven approached the bed and stood by the side.  “I guess you found your room,” Raven stated with a small smile of genuine amusement.

Amanda's green eyes shot open as she sat up.  “Oh hell yeah!  It almost as if it was set up with me in mind!” she replied with excitement as she bounced off the bed.  With Mystery weaving between her legs, the excited female began to unpack.  She had never been more excited to stay in a hotel in her life.  In fact she was beginning to see it as a mini vacation.  Some peace and quiet would be welcome after the upheaval of the past few days.

Rolling her eyes, Raven left her friend to it and went back into the hallway.  Wondering if Johnny also had something to do with her friend's room, Raven looked at the other door.  Maybe that was what Johnny was talking about with Ginger.  After all, it seemed like Ginger had quite crush on her friend.  He had probably learned a bit about her and had conspired with Johnny.  Looking at the deep red door on the right, she wondered what the other room looked like.

Opening the door, Raven found herself pleasantly surprised.  The room's walls were deep red and the carpet was a black shag.  The bed was huge and had deep red sheets.  On the walls were a couple Marilyn Manson posters, making her blush in embarrassment.  Johnny had certainly paid attention to her attire as well as what she had told him.  Happiness filling her, Raven began to unpack her bags.  She would have to thank Johnny when he came to visit.  Already he head was filling with ideas of what she could do to show her appreciation.

Manson had long since retreated to a room in the back of the tour bus.  Right now the last thing he wanted was to be around other people.  Right now a deep rage filled him, a rage that masked his sadness.  Already he missed Raven so much that it felt there was a hollow, aching place in his heart.  He wanted nothing more than to have her in his arms, to inhale her scent, to taste her lips.  With a snarl of frustration, he opened his duffel bag and began to unpack.  He hoped it would be enough to distract him from how empty he felt without her.

As he lifted one of his shirts, he noticed Kathy staring up at him.  With a look of surprise, he gently picked up the floppy, well-loved plush.  His stage persona slipped to show just how touched he was by the small object.  Hugging the stuffed dog close, Manson closed his eyes and breathed in Raven's scent.  How would he get through the next few months without her?


	10. Here Without You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: I know not a lot happened last chapter story wise but sometimes exposition is needed. I promise something happens this chapter!

Everything had been unpacked and Amanda was currently trying to get Mystery to chase a laser when there was a knock on the door.  Raven shot to her feet immediately, going to the door to open it.  On the other side stood Johnny, a goofy smile on his goateed face.  “Hey Johnny!  Come on in!” Raven exclaimed, her eyes flicking to the large bags in his hands as she moved out of the way.

“Thanks!  Hey Amanda!” he called cheerfully, waving to the woman who was peering at him shyly over the back of the couch.

A sharp bark startled all of them as they all looked at the medium sized canine sniffing Johnny's jeans.  The fluffy dog wagged her curly tail once before simply trotting back to the room.  “Well, Lady has deemed you alright,” Raven chuckled, reaching for the sketchbook on the table in the dining area.

“Of  course she has!” Amanda chirped, coming into the kitchen.  Her green eyes wandered over Johnny's sleek form in appreciation.  Of course, with her friend being about as subtle as a bright neon light, Johnny noticed right away that she was ogling him.  His eyebrows quirking in a mischievous way, the actor straightened and smiled at the curly haired woman.

Raven groaned and face-palmed as she watched Johnny.  He was about to attempt to fluster Amanda, something that was admittedly a very bad idea.  Something Johnny was about to find out the hard way.  Pulling out a page of her sketchbook and hiding it behind her back, the black haired female turned to watch.  Oh, Johnny was gonna get thrown for a loop!

Amanda was watching Johnny's body language as well, the gears in her mind turning.  She wasn't as easily flustered as her friend.  In fact she often turned the attempt around on the person.  A small smile curled her lips as Johnny approached.  The man had the look of extreme confidence on his face and she nearly snickered.

Instead of letting the actor come to her, Amanda marched up to Johnny and wrapped her arms around his waist.  The look of utter surprise on his face was priceless and they all broke into laughter, breaking the silence of the moment.  “Unlike my friend there,” Amanda quipped with a jerk of her curl haloed head toward Raven, “I stand up for myself.”

“I resemble that remark,” Raven replied dryly with a wide grin. She lightly punched Amanda's arm in mock anger before turning to look at Johnny. All of a sudden she wasn't so sure about giving him her gift.

“What are you hiding there?” he asked, raising a delicate brow as he looked at the hand she still held behind her back.

“Oh!  Erm, uh well,” Raven stammered, blushing and scuffing the floor with a platform boot.  Suddenly she felt very small and awkward.  A sharp nudge in the ribs from Amanda broke her out of her panic cycle.  With a grateful look to her friend, Raven looked up at Johnny timidly.

“I wanted to er… thank you for the hotel room and the limo driver.  I know you went through a lot of trouble to set up our rooms the way you did,” Raven murmured, her voice getting quieter and quieter as she brought the hand around to her front.  In her hand was a piece of paper with something drawn on it.

With gentle hands, Johnny took the large piece of sketch paper and examined what was drawn on it.  It was a picture of what looked to be some sort of animal/human hybrid that looked eerily like him in some ways.  “I drew what I thought you would look like as an animal.  You’re a fox/ferret hybrid because you’re so mischievous,” Raven explained, unable to look at him out of mortification.  What had she been thinking?!  There was  no way Johnny Depp was going to like being drawn as an animal.

“Huh, I can actually kinda see that.  You did a great job making it look like me too.  Thank you Raven,” Johnny responded gently, giving her a loose hug.

“Y-you’re welcome,” Raven stuttered, a light blush coloring her cheeks.  Today Johnny smelled of an ocean breeze mixed with musk and she had to resist the urge to rub her face on the green material of his t-shirt.

“I got you a present too.  Well, more like a present for all of us.  I also brought the games you left behind,” Johnny announced, letting go of Raven to walk over to the bags he set down on the floor.

While both females watched, Johnny pulled out the two games he had gotten for Raven just yesterday.  With everything that had happened, yesterday felt like a million years ago to the black haired female.  All of a sudden she found Manson’s absence all but unbearable.  Trying to distract herself by watching Johnny dig around in the other bag, Raven couldn’t help but wish it was Manson there instead.

Finally, with a flourish, Johnny set two systems on the table.  One was an SNES and the other was an N64.  Three controllers for each system as well as a few multiplayer games were also placed on the table.  “I thought it would be nice to have something to do while you’re waiting for your house to be fixed,” he announced with a huge grin.

“Oh thank you!  This will make the whole thing even more fun!” Amanda exclaimed, hugging the tall actor around his waist.

“Thanks so much Johnny.  Why don’t you guys go get set up?  I want to make a call,” Raven murmured with a small smile.  All she wanted to do right now was to hear Manson’s voice or even know that the tour bus hadn’t crashed in the few hours he had been gone.

The forlorn look on her face didn’t escape Johnny.  With a look at the now distracted Raven, the actor wrapped an arm around Amanda’s red t-shirt clad shoulders and began to whisper in her ear.  The curly haired female looked confused at first, then began to grin.  What he had in mind would definitely distract Raven from missing Manson.

‘Last Day on Earth’ began to blare from the singer’s black phone and he nearly dove to grab it from his dresser.  Flipping the phone open, he nearly pressed the answer button when he thought the better of it.  He had to be in a certain mindset while on stage, which meant he had to stay in character as much as possible.  Something he knew he couldn’t do around Raven.  So, with a huge wrench to his heart, he called for Ginger and gave him the phone.

The make-up wearing drummer took one look at the name on the display and immediately answered it.  “Hey Raven,” he greeted as cheerfully as he dared with Manson still glowering at him from the bedroom door.

“Oh, hey Ginger.  Why didn’t Manson pick up?” Raven asked, trying and failing to hide her disappointment.

“Oh, he wanted to but he has to stay in character.  A character that can be a bit nasty,” Ginger responded, looking at Manson nervously.  If looks could kill, the drummer was sure he would be nothing but a pile of cinders.

“Does that mean I won’t get to speak to him the whole time?” Raven whispered, feeling her heart crash through the tile.  She wasn’t sure if she could handle a couple months with no contact at all.

“Well, most of the time.  Its the times he  does answer that you’ll have to worry,” Ginger sighed, running a shaky hand through his bleach blonde hair.  He could feel the singer literally glaring daggers at him and he hoped he would be able to get out of this in one piece.

Raven took a moment to ponder Ginger’s words.  A whole slew of possibilities flew through her head, almost all of them dirty in some way.  A delicious shudder going through her frame, Raven found she didn’t object to any of them.  “So, did Amanda like her room?” Ginger whispered shyly, obviously trying to hide what he was saying from the others.

“I thought you had something to do with that,” Raven responded, a smile on her pale face, “Yes, she loved it.”

“Good.  Well I have to get going.  Manson is starting to look really antsy,” the drummer stated, sounding nervous.  Manson loomed over him, his mismatched eyes glaring down at the smaller man.

“Okay, be safe.  Tell him I love him,” the black haired female whispered into the phone, closing her hazel eyes as two tears escaped.

After Raven had hung up she was immediately swooped down upon by Johnny and Amanda.  “We’re going to have fun and try to forget about our worries,” Amanda grouched playfully, steering Raven toward the living room.  Then she was promptly forced to sit on the couch and had an N64 controller shoved into her hands.

“Okay, what’s first,” Raven replied in defeat, feeling very grateful for the presence of Johnny and Amanda at that moment.

A water bottle flew across the dressing room as Manson let out an especially venomous curse.  The band watched their leader warily, looking ready to run at a moment’s notice.  It had only been a week and his temper had steadily gotten worse and worse as the tour wore on.  All of them suspected it was from him refusing to take any groupies.  Manson had always been a bit of a sex fiend and for him to outright refuse free sex when it was thrown at him was highly unusual.  Certainly the added tension didn’t help the situation.

His performances had also begun to get downright sexual.  Often he would begin to grind against his mic stand and devolved from there.  It almost turned into him outright masturbating on stage, not that any of the fans had minded.  Apparently word had gotten out about his odd performances and tonight’s show was utterly packed.  Ginger, who was one of the members that bore the brunt of Manson’s less testosterone fueled stage tantrums, almost dreaded taking the stage.

John and Tim were exchanging wary glances while they put on their bright red lipstick.  Since both of them were on the ground with Manson they would bear the brunt of his sexual assaults.  After what had happened the past two shows, they also dreaded taking the stage.  Only Pogo seemed to be completely at home.  He even whistled as he gelled his bleach blonde mohawk.  The other three members stared at him like he was insane while Manson tightened the ties on his corset.  “Let’s get this shit over with,” Manson hissed, his shoulder length hair hanging in his make-up covered face as he stomped to the stage.

“I should have picked the photograph.  It lasted longer than you,” Manson hissed the last lines of the song into the mic.  He lay on his back on the stage, a hand between his legs while his hips thrusted lewdly.  His burning, lust-filled, mismatched eyes were fixed on a black haired female in the front row.  She caught him looking at her and looked away shyly, exactly like Raven would have done.

Jumping gracefully to his feet, showing off his g-string covered, rock hard erection to the screaming audience in the process, Manson waved for a security guard’s attention.  Once the man was looking at him, the singer pointed to the female who was now looking at him with utter disbelief.  “Bring her to the back,” he hissed into the mic before tossing it into the crowd.  John, who had been grinded against, humped and generally assaulted throughout the show, watched the singer warily as he stalked off the stage.  John felt very bad for the poor female who was going to be his companion for the night.  Manson had never held off on sex for so long, so no one knew exactly what the singer would do.

Raven sat on the white couch, wrapped in a deep red blanket and staring blankly at the dark TV set.  She hadn’t eaten in a couple days and hadn’t slept in one.  With a sigh, the black haired female looked at the deep red phone in her hand.  She hadn’t called in a week, thinking it was best to just leave Manson alone right now.

Amanda watched Raven’s still form with concern on her pale face.  She had taken the last few days off just to keep an eye on her friend.  Despite Johnny and her best efforts, Raven had slipped slowly into a deep depression.  It didn’t help that Johnny had gotten called to do a movie.  That actor hadn’t wanted to go but had eventually caved due to Raven’s insistence.  As Amanda watched her friend, Amanda began to wonder if she should call Johnny or Manson.

Ginger stared at the dressing room door with concern written on his make-up covered, acne scarred face.  Female wails and male growls came from behind the shut door making him even more concerned.  It almost sounded as if the singer was hurting the female.  John, who was leaning against a wall opposite the door, shook his head sharply when Ginger reached to knock.  “He’ll be done soon.  You know as well as I do that it isn’t smart to interrupt him,” the guitarist grumbled, looking off to the side.

As if on cue all the noise within stopped and the door opened.  The female Manson had dragged from the crowd was practically thrown out of the room, stumbling on her feet before crashing into the wall John was leaning on.  She whipped her head around to stare at the door with hurt filled hazel eyes as it slammed shut.  “Wh-why,” she squeaked out, her legs shaking badly as tears rolled down her pale cheeks.

“I’m sorry.  Come on, lets go get you something to eat,” Ginger suggested gently, leading the distraught female away by the arm.

John 5 watched the sobbing girl’s retreating back with sympathy before turning to glare at the closed door.  He didn’t like what he had to do but for the girl’s sake as well as Manson’s he had to make sure the singer hadn’t raped the woman.  “Manson, open up,” John yelled, pounding on the wood of the door.

The door slowly opened, revealing an ominously dark room.  “Marilyn?” John whispered, suddenly feeling very unsure as he slowly stuck his head in.  His brown eyes flitted to a dark figure sitting on a couch with one leg propped up on the other.

“I know what you’re going to ask,” came a hoarse, throaty hiss from the silhouette.  Slowly the shadowy figure got to its feet, moving across to the silhouette of a large mirror dresser.

“W-well?” John asked timidly, liking the atmosphere of that dark room less and less.  There was a distinct feeling of danger in the room as the shadow of the singer looked like he was leaning on the counter of the dresser while facing the mirror.

“Everything we did was consensual.  She was just upset that I called her ‘Raven’ when I came,” he snarled, his voice oddly quiet, “Now, get out.”

John didn’t have to be told twice, pulling his head out of the room as he shut the door.  In his rush to get away he backed into Tim.  The bassist looked at him with a concerned look before looking at the door.  Understanding came into his brown eyes as he turned back to John.  “Buckle up buttercup!  Its gonna be a rough night,” exclaimed Pogo with glee as he approached the pair.  Apparently the keyboardist had seen everything from a hiding spot around a corner.

“Pogo, although utterly insane, you’re right.  Manson wasn’t acting normal in there.  We’ll have to start preparing for a situation even worse than Dita calling,” John sighed, rubbing his temples as a headache began to form.

After much convincing as well as coercion, Amanda had finally managed to get Raven to go out with her.  Keeping a close eye on her depressed friend as she trudged along, the curly haired woman inwardly sighed.  She hoped that a normal day at the mall would be enough to distract Raven from missing Manson so much.  Even in her other relationships Raven had never been good with separation.

Raven browsed around a little asian store they had found in the mall, stopping to sniff the various incense.  Despite still feeling like there was an aching void in her heart, the melancholy female began to enjoy herself.  She loved looking at all the dragon statues as well as the few Anubis ones they had.  Picking out a few of her favorite scents, Raven went to the counter to purchase them.

The asian lady behind the counter stared at her with her mouth open for several moments before beginning to scan her purchases.  Wondering what had caused that reaction, Raven caught a glimpse of a magazine laying open near the register.  ‘Marilyn Manson’s New Lover Seen with Actor Johnny Depp at Love Nest’ the bold black headline of the article screamed.  Doing a bit of a double take at the title, Raven looked at the picture they had gotten.  It was of Johnny arriving at her hotel room with the large bags and her opening the door for him.  “That will be two dolla,” the cashier said in a thick asian accent, having the decency to look properly abashed for what she was reading.

Effectively broken out of her mortification, Raven quickly handed her the money and nearly ran from the store.  Running to another store front and stopping to wait for Amanda, Raven leaned against the cool brick of the store.  As Amanda poked her head out of the asian store looking for her, Raven noticed more and more people looking her way.  Almost all of them had a look of recognition and some even began to point her out.

A familiar feeling of panic beginning to fill her, Raven made a hurry up motion to Amanda while keeping an eye on the ever growing crowd around her.  More and more of them were beginning to mutter about her, some of the women looking over her body with a sneer on their faces.  Raven could just guess what they were thinking and felt a desperate need to flee.  Thankfully Amanda wasn’t blind to the forming situation and hurried to her friend’s side.  “Er, let’s get you out of here,” Amanda whispered, looking at the steadily growing crowd with unease.

“That’s the best idea I heard all day,” Raven replied, beginning to speed walk to the exit with Amanda close on her heels.

Manson slammed the door to the tour bus open, stomping into the huge, camper-like vehicle.  Pogo followed right behind the irate singer, whistling merrily while carting one of his drums over one shoulder.  The other three followed several moments later, giving Manson a huge berth.  They had never seen him in such a temper and they were honestly afraid of their leader.  They watched him warily as they sat in chairs far away from him.

Still clad in his stage clothes, Manson dug in the cabinet until he pulled out two familiar looking bottles.  Ginger made to stand, looking ready to say something, until a hand harshly gripped his wrist.  Stopping halfway out of his chair, the drummer looked over to see John staring at him with wide, fear-filled brown eyes.  His bleach blonde hair swaying, John gave a single, sharp shake of his head.  Still looking at Manson with concern, Ginger sat back down.

Gathering the bottles against his near bare chest, Manson retreated to the back room and slammed the door.  As the tour bus started with a loud rumble, the singer took a long swig from the Vodka bottle.  A low growl escaped him as he pulled the bottle free from his black lipstick smeared lips.  Setting the bottles on the floor near the bed, the performer let out a low moan that sounded like a growl.  Lines of kohl running down his white cheeks from unbidden tears, Manson gripped his head in both his hands as he hunched forward.  “I’m sorry Raven,” he hissed quietly through gritted teeth.

Underneath all the rage was a deep guilt that ate at him like an acid.  A guilt he couldn’t feel right now.  He had several more shows to go and he had to stay in character through it all.  If he slipped even a little, his reputation would be gone.  With a frustrated growl, he took a deep sip from the Absinthe bottle and shuddered.  It baffled him that he even felt guilt.  He had been blindsided by it before he left but he had never expected to feel it while in his carefully crafted stage persona.  “What the fuck is she  doing to me?!” he snarled, taking another hit from the Vodka bottle.

Raven leaned against the closed and locked hotel door, panting heavily with a pale hand fisted in the black material of her t-shirt.  The entire way back from the mall she had been extremely paranoid, hunching low in the seat of the taxi whenever traffic slowed.  As soon as they had stopped she had bolted out of the yellow car and up to their room.  With her heart still beating entirely too fast, the black haired female went into the kitchen and got herself a glass of water from the fridge with shaky hands.

Going to the living room on unsteady legs, Raven sat on the white couch and took a sip of the icy water.  Lady came trotting out of the room, making a concerned noise before hopping in her master’s lap.  Beginning to calm down, the black haired woman smiled and began to pet the mutt in her lap.  Soon after that Amanda came in, locking the door behind her.  “You okay Megs?” she asked unsurely, heading towards the couch.

“My name’s Raven,” came the tired, yet exasperated response.

“Okay ‘Raven’, are you okay?” Amanda repeated, looking extremely frustrated as she moved to sit by her friend.

“Yeah, I guess,” Raven responded quietly, scratching behind one of Lady’s floppy ears.

Amanda looked at her room mate closely, not liking how pale or strained she looked.  What had happened today had really unsettled the shy woman beside her.  She found herself wondering how her friend would handle it when Manson made their relationship official.  The press would explode and poor Raven would more than likely get caught in the explosion.  “It’s just a lot to take in ya know.  Just a few days ago no one would have looked at me twice.  Now…” the still shaking woman started to say, cutting herself off with a shudder as her black hair hung in her face.

“Hey, it’ll be okay,” Amanda tried to assure, her brown curls moving around her neck as she gather Raven into a tight hug.

“Will it?” she asked quietly, the emotionless tone of her voice scaring the shit out of the other woman.

“Wh-what do you mean Me- er, Raven,” Amanda whispered, tightening her hold on her friend.  The fluffy black dog on Raven’s lap, sensing the tension, looked up at the two women with dim concern.

“Amanda, the guy is a highly sexual, rage machine.  He’s powerful, sexy and the press follows him around like a pack of rabid hounds.  He’s infamous for his temper as well as his appetite for groupies,” Raven murmured dully, her black hair hiding her expression from her friend.

“And…?” the curly haired woman asked, blinking her green eyes in confusion.  Her friend had known all of this before getting into a relationship with the singer.  Why was she suddenly having a problem now?

“Amanda, I can’t even bare to look at myself in the mirror while clothed, let alone letting someone I’ve admired for most of my life seeing me naked.  I don’t know if I’ll ever give him the relationship he deserves.  Also there’s the nice fact that angry men cause me to almost have a nervous breakdown.  Top that all off with the fact that I’m incredibly shy and the idea of the paparazzi following me around legitimately scares the piss outta me and we got a shit sundae of a situation,” Raven murmured quietly, shooing the dog off her lap as she got to her feet.

Walking over to the huge window that over-looked the city, Raven looked at the curtain rather than the view.  Heights always made her woozy so it was best she not look out the window.  Sensing Amanda coming up behind her, the dark haired female turned her head to the side slightly and fixed her friend with a haunted look.  “Raven, that’s not all that’s bothering you is it,” Amanda whispered, not quite looking Raven in the eye as she fiddled with the hem of her purple t-shirt.

Raven went stiff, turning around to look at Amanda with a mix of shock and hurt.  Though she couldn’t exactly say it wasn’t true.  A lot of her past relationships had left her emotionally scarred and a bit hesitant to be with anyone.  She almost always expected relationships to end horribly now.  Anger fading into consideration, Raven actually began to think.  Was she dooming this relationship before it started because of her past.  Before she could reply back to Amanda ‘Last Day on Earth’ began to play from her deep red phone.

Plucking her phone out of her black jeans pocket and looking at the device with an almost dread, Raven looked up at Amanda.  “Aren’t you going to answer it?” Amanda asked curiously, tilting her head to the side so her brown curls flounced around her head.

“I-I’m not sure I should,” Raven whispered, looking at the still ringing phone as if it was a snake that was going to bite her.

“Why not?  You’ve been pining over him for the past few weeks and now he’s finally calling you,” her friend huffed, throwing her arms up in the air in defeat.

“Its not that I don’t want to talk to him, its just Ginger warned me about this,” the hazel eyed female murmured as the voicemail finally picked up.

“Oh,” Amanda responded quietly, a light blush on her cheeks.  A fact that wasn’t lost on Raven.

She was just about to pry just a bit when the phone began to ring again.  Knowing he wouldn’t stop until she answered, Raven flipped open her small phone and pressed the answer button.  “Hello?” she whispered, trying to keep her voice steady and desperately hoping to hear Ginger’s voice reply.

“Why the fuck didn’t you answer,” came a deadly hiss from the other line.  The pure iciness of his voice caused a lance of fear to pierce straight through her heart.

Her voice left her in a breathless squeak as her hazel eyes went wide and her heart began to gallop in her chest.  She had never  ever heard him this angry, not even when Dita had spilled her personal information to the press jackals.  “You best answer me right now little girl,” came a quiet, darkly deadly sounding command.

“I-I-I… G-G-Gin..,” Raven stammered feeling her speech faculties begin to fail as she began to freeze up.  Cold fear and all out blind panic began to fill her at the intense power of his rage.

“Speak up and stop fucking stuttering!” he roared suddenly, tension and rage present in every word he spoke.

“G-Ginger… h-he w-warned m-me,” she finally answered, shaking like a leaf as terrified tears ran down her pale cheeks.

Noticing Raven’s growing distress, Amanda moved toward her friend with a frown on her face.  If the asshole thought he was going to bully her childhood friend while she was around, he had another thing coming.  “Give me the phone Raven,” she growled, reaching to take the deep red cellphone from her closest friend.  

Raven shook her head sharply in response, stepping away from her.  She had a feeling that if the phone was taken it would only make things that much worse.  “Fuck Ginger and his warnings.  You listen to  me !  From now on you  answer  when I call you,” the singer ordered, sounding all too much like Raven’s abusive father.

“I-I-I’m s-sorry,” she whispered, her entire body shaking as she fought to stay on her feet.  Her extremities had gone entirely numb and tingly from the sheer terror she was feeling.  The memories that flashed through her mind didn’t help either.  She knew she was going to have horrible nightmares.

“Raven, give me that phone!” Amanda yelled, lunging for the phone her friend yelled.  Whatever Manson was saying to her, he was going to cause a complete break if he didn’t stop.  She also wanted to give the ass a piece of her mind.  No one hurted Raven this badly!

Raven dodged away from the curly haired female before using her limited strength to sprint for her room.  Once inside, she closed and locked the door behind her.  A small sob escaped her lips and she clapped a hand over her mouth.  More panic filled her as the thought of the trouble that small utterance had gotten her into.  “Raven….?” came a gruff voice that started to sound a bit unsure.

Another, slightly more hysterical sounding, sob escaped her as she went to her knees.  Her entire body shook helplessly as fear and panic finally overwhelmed her.  All the memories of her father and what the man had done to her filled her mind, breaking the proverbial dam as she began to sob in earnest.  “Oh god, I’m so sorry,” she sobbed, clutching the phone tightly, “I’ll be good, I promise.”  She nearly finished with ‘just don’t hurt me daddy’ but remembered who she was talking to just in time.

“Raven?!  Oh god what did I do?  Oh shit, Raven, hun please.  Oh fuck, I’m so sorry,” Manson responded, guilt and regret filling his voice.  From the sounds of it, what he had said to Raven while in his stage persona had brought up some bad memories.  He had uttered those same words many a time himself in his parent’s ‘loving home.’

Raven froze a bit at the apology, a bit of the sheer panic fading.  “M-marilyn, I have to go for a bit,” she whispered, closing her hazel eyes as more tears escaped.  What had happened had brought up a lot of painful memories and all she wanted was to be alone.  She also wanted some time away from Manson to calm down.  Without waiting for his response, she simply closed the phone.

Manson looked at his black phone with a mix of extreme guilt and sorrow.  The things he had said to Raven, let alone the way he had said them, made him feel extremely bad.  Throwing the phone off to the side, Manson took a long drag out of the Absinthe bottle.  He was beginning to think that maybe the best thing he could do for Raven would be to let her go.


	11. Pushing Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: ‘The world is still a weird place, despite my efforts to make clear and perfect sense of it.’ - Hunter S. Thompson.

 

    Manson was different today.  He was still drinking far too heavily, much to the concern of three of the band, but all his rage seemed to have gone.  His mismatched eyes were hollow and dead as he knocked back a glass of Absinthe/Vodka with a small shudder.  Wondering what had happened to put the singer in such a state, Ginger stood to approach him.  John and Tim made warning noises, shaking their heads at him desperately.  Pogo, on the other hand, simply watched him placidly.

Ignoring all of them, the bleach blonde drummer walked towards Manson and stared at his black clad back.  The singer was hunched over a small counter, his hands fisted onto top of the faux wood and his mismatched eyes squeezed shut.  There were faint trails of smeared black make-up on his white cheeks.  “Marilyn?” Ginger whispered quietly, placing a cautious hand on the singer’s back.

“I called Raven last night,” he replied in a lifeless voice.

That single whispered statement caused a rush of cold fear to fill Ginger.  Had Raven broken up with Manson?  Was that why he was acting this way?  “What happened?” Ginger asked cautiously, ready to run at any notice.

“I verbally abused her,” he whispered quietly, straightening and pulling away from the drummer.

“I knew she would leave,” John hissed, his brown eyes going cold and hard.  He felt like a fool for even believing she had cared about Manson in the first place.

“Not that its any of  your business, but she didn’t leave.  I’m thinking about letting her go though,” he hissed with his back turned to the band.

Silence stretched between the five men as the four band members stared at their leader in disbelief.  “Bullshit,” hissed Pogo, breaking the silence and surprising everyone.  The mohawked keyboardist got to his feet as Manson whirled to glare at him.

“What did you say?” the singer hissed, beginning to bristle.

“Are you deaf as well as stupid!  I said ‘bullshit’,” Pogo snarled, glaring at Manson heatedly and putting his hand on his black leather clad hips.

Silence filled the traveling tour bus as the lead singer and the keyboardist stared each other down.  “Uhm, Pogo.  Maybe you should sit down,” John urged quietly, noticing how murderous Manson looked right then.

“Fuck that!  And fuck  you Brian!  That woman has made you more happy than you’ve been in years!  It hasn’t even been that long but I can see that you guys have some sort of connection!  She would give absolutely  anything  for you and you’re gonna throw that away so easily?!  Do you have  any  idea what I would give for something like that!” Pogo roared, his face going red from rage as his body shook.

Manson stared at the blonde keyboardist with a look of shock on his face.  He couldn’t say that Pogo was wrong either.  Ever since Raven had sung for him on stage he had felt a strong, undeniable connection between them.  He felt loyalty, trust and even love for the female, things he had never felt for any of his exes.  He even felt guilt for her sake and was actively trying to avoid sleeping with groupies for her.  “The fact that she’s so special to me is the reason I have to let her go.  I’ll only cause her more pain in the end,” he finally responded, fixing his mismatched gaze on Pogo.

“Numbnuts, what did I  just  fucking say?!  She’ll forgive you for anything you fucking do!  She loves every bit of you!  Even the parts that scare her!  Don’t you think it’ll hurt her more if you just up and leave?!” Pogo snarled, standing his ground and glaring at Manson.

What Pogo had said had given him pause, making the pale singer think.  As much as he hated to admit it, the usually hyper and crazy keyboardist had a point.  “How do you know all this about how she feels about me?” Manson whispered softly, his black clad shoulders slumping slightly.

“Because I’m not fucking blind!  I’m a great people watcher but even a novice could tell with how she acted around you!  Just you being in the same room as her made her blush!  She even forgave you for cheating on her!  Any of your exes do that?!” the keyboardist huffed irritably, only slightly relaxing his tight fists.

“What do you suggest I do?” Manson replied quietly.  He couldn’t refute any of the things Pogo had said.  As he thought on it, he could see what the keyboardist was talking about.  Running a shaky hand through his long black hair, Manson sighed deeply.

“Call her and apologize your ass off,” Pogo suggested, crossing his black clad arms across his chest.

Raven was buried under her deep red comforter, her face barely poking out from the small opening.  Occasional watery sniffles came from the hidden female as she rocked gently.  All the memories that she had buried for many years had broken free last night, keeping her from any form of sleep.  Yet, despite all of that, she desperately wished for Manson to suddenly come storming in and sweep her into his arms.  Heaving a shaky sigh, the black haired female wiped her fresh tears from her pale cheeks.  The sorrowful notes of ‘Last Day on Earth’ broke her from her introspection.  With a shaky hand, she reached forward and opened the phone.  “Raven?  Raven are you there?” came a gruff voice that almost sounded desperate.

Raven’s hazel orbs fluttered shut as fear, love and arousal rose inside her at the sound of his voice.  Her heart lurched in her chest, clamping into a painful ball in her chest as tears of sorrow filled her eyes.  “R-raven, if you’re there, please hear me out.  I’m so, so sorry for what I said to you last night.  I was drunk and still in my stage persona.  If I had been in my right mind I never would have… Raven, just let me know you’re there,” pleaded a gruff baritone, sounding as if he was sitting on the edge of his seat.

“M-manson,” came a breathless squeak through the clog of tears in her throat.  Everything in her body shook, not from fear but from the sheer need of him to be there at that moment.

“Raven.  Raven.  Raven.  Thank fuck…,” he gasped out in a relieved voice, sounding on the verge of collapse.

“Marilyn, I miss you,” she whispered quietly, her voice going up a few octaves from her despair.

“E-even with what I did?” came the singer’s incredulous, yet hopeful, reply.

“Marilyn, even though what you did dug up a lot of bad memories; I could never hold it against you.  I know that you didn’t mean it,” she whispered in a shaky voice. gripping her phone tightly.

“Raven… I… I slept with a groupie,” Manson confessed, his voice sounding tense and frightened.

“Only one?” she asked, blinking slightly.  Despite her reaction to the earlier hooker, Raven had fully accepted the fact that Manson was going to sleep around on tour.  It would be completely ridiculous to expect him to abstain from sex for a couple months.  There was also the nice fact that she still couldn’t bring herself to be even shirtless around the singer.

Manson stared at his phone in a stunned disbelief.  He had expected tears, yelling and threats of leaving, not this calm acceptance.  “Raven?” he whispered, sounding confused.  Maybe he had heard wrong.

“Its okay Marilyn.  I half expected you to have slept with twenty groupies by now.  I’m not completely naive to how tours work,” she replied, a smile appearing on her pale face for the first time that day.

Silence greeted her words as the singer seemed to be absorbing what she had said.  Smiling softly, Raven closed her eyes and smiled wider.  “If I’m going to be dating a singer I have to be ready to accept any consequences that come along with it.  Just promise I won’t wake up one day to a ‘Dear Jane’ voicemail,” she responded with an amused tone.

“Raven, I can promise that I will never leave you for one of those groupies.  Pogo was right, about everything,” he responded, earning a confused look from the black haired female as she stared at her comforter covered legs.

“What are you talking about?” she asked, tilting her head in confusion.

Outside the bedroom stood Amanda, a hand raised in a paused motion to knock.  She had stopped at the sound of Raven’s voice coming from inside.  From what she had heard of the muffled conversation, Manson had just apologized to her ex-schoolmate.  Rolling her green eyes in exasperation, Amanda moved back into the living room of the extended stay hotel suite.  She would have to give the make-up wearing jackass a call later on.  There was no way in hell she would be as forgiving as Raven.

Raven came out of her room, looking down at her red phone with confusion.  “Hey Amanda?  Manson just informed me of something you should hear,” Raven called as she walked into the kitchen.

“Why did you forgive him so easily?”  Amanda asked in a tired voice, sipping her coffee while leaning against the counter.

“I, wha?” Raven responded in astonishment, her hazel eyes blinking rapidly.  Her childhood friend’s question had completely taken her off guard.

“Why did you forgive him so easily?” she asked again, fixing Raven with a hard stare.

“He didn’t mean to do it!  If he knew anything about my past, I doubt he would have gone off like that,” Raven defended, heading into the kitchen to get herself a ‘Red Pop’.

“”Just like Tony never meant to beat you?” Amanda asked bluntly, wincing when Raven went stiff.

Turning to Amanda with the red soda in her hand, Raven fixed her long time friend with a look of betrayal.  “He’s nothing  like Tony!” Raven snarled, not liking where this conversation was heading one bit.

“Oh really?  The short temper, the propensity to violence, not mention the fact that he started out with yelling too,” Amanda replied, fighting not to flinch from the betrayal in her friend’s eyes.  She knew what she was doing was dirty tactics but she had to be sure Raven wouldn’t end up in another abusive relationship.  All she wanted was for the other female to be happy.

“No!  This is different!   Manson is different!  He’s never done anything to hurt me!” Raven protested, trying to hide the small spark of disquiet Amanda had raised.  Memories of him in the hospital, punching a wall right by her head flashed through her mind with brilliant clarity.

Amanda watched her friend carefully before letting out a small sigh and running a shaky hand through her brown, curly hair.  “I’m just trying to look out for you Raven.  I don’t want you to end up in another situation like what happened last time,” Amanda whispered, looking down into the black liquid inside her mug.

“I appreciate the concern but I really don’t need this right now!” Raven snarled viciously, her black hair hanging in her face.  She shoved past her friend and sat at the small table that was not too far from the kitchen.  Despite the extreme urge to run and hide in her room, she knew Amanda would want to hear the news that Manson had told her.

“What was it you wanted to tell me?” Amanda asked quietly, moving a strand of curly, brown hair behind her delicate ear as she sat in a chair across from Raven.

Raven twisted off the white cap of her soda and took a long drink before fixing Amanda with a hard glare.  Her gaze said it all, ‘That was a low blow Mandy.’  She was slightly gratified to see her friend wince guiltily before lowering her green gaze.  Shaking her head and sighing, Raven opened her mouth to tell Amanda her news when there was a loud knock on the door.  “What in the…?” Raven murmured, getting up and opening the door.

Suddenly the whole suite was alive with flashes of light as a veritable mob of paparazzi tried to force their way in.  A flurry of loud questions came from the huge mob as they all tried to come in at once and promptly got stuck.  Fear filled Raven’s hazel eyes as she backed away from the swarming, camera-filled mob.  Amanda, seeing her friend was frozen in fear, ran to the door and began to try to push it shut.

Finding she was only able to get it partially shut with the mob trying to force their way in, the curly haired female turned to Raven with frantic green eyes.  “Help me with the door before they get in!” she cried, pushing against the door with her back.  Blinking, Raven ran to Amanda’s side and helped to push the door shut.  With their combined efforts they finally managed to get the door shut and locked.

“What the hell was  that ?!” Amanda gasped out, leaning against the wood of the door.

“I have  no  idea,” Raven panted, leaning against the door as well.

“Did that have anything to do with the news you had?” Amanda asked, still breathing slightly hard.  Muffled voices from the paparazzi could be barely heard through the door as they both fought to catch their breath.

“N-no.  The news I had to tell you was that Manson wanted us to stay here while he was gone,” the black haired female responded, looking at the locked door with fear as she backed away from it slowly.

“What?  Why?” Amanda asked in confusion, backing away from the door as well.

“Because Johnny’s here.  Manson knows Johnny will watch out for us,” Raven responded, sitting on the couch and looking at the door warily over the back of it.

“Right and does Manson know that Johnny’s at a movie shoot?” Amanda responded, rolling her eyes.

“Yeah, he wasn’t happy when I told him that,” the black haired female answered with a small smile.

Amanda face-palmed, heaving a sigh as she sat next to her friend.  “You do know that probably means he’s going to call and harass Johnny until he comes back,” the curly haired female sighed in playful exasperation as she pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Oh shit, I didn’t think of that,” Raven responded, looking worried as well as guilty.  Amanda looked at her best friend with a look of astonishment as well as ‘fucking really?!’ on her face.  Johnny was going to be in for a nasty surprise.

“I gladly go to my rest knowing that I have saved your lovely soul.  I love you Melissa,” whispered the ancient vampire, blood dribbling from the corner of his mouth.  A stake stood straight up from his suit covered chest and the white, powdered dust of thousands of decayed bones colored his slicked back black hair as he laid on the mausoleum floor.  Over him stood a steely faced old man with steel grey hair and the same color beard.  On his chest lay a black haired woman, looking down at him with sorrow filled green eyes.

“I never wanted any of this to happen Richard.  None of it!  Oh this is all my fault!  Please don’t leave me!” wailed the distraught female, sobbing into his blood covered, black jacket.

“Shh, its not your fault my lady.  I allowed you to talk me into biting you.  I was just so lonely, I couldn’t bare the thought of being alone.  Now that I really know you, I’m glad I was killed before you turned.  I can’t bare the thought of you being what I am any more than I can bare being alone.  I will always remember you Raven,” he whispered quietly, closing his blood red eyes as a single blood tear rolled down his porcelain cheek.

“Goddammit!  Cut!  Cut!  Cut!  That’s the fifth time this scene John-o!” screamed an exasperated, brunette and bearded director.  Removing his red cap, the hawaiian shirt wearing man walked over to the castle set as the ‘vampire’ sat up.  The female was standing and having the blood removed from her face and the old man was reviewing the script again.

“Do you need a break?  You don’t seem yourself,” the director asked, squatting beside the made-up actor as he fiddled with his mouth.

“Yeah, sorry Phil.  I just can’t get my head in the game,” the actor responded, pulling the fangs free of his mouth.  He handed them to a make-up person, taking a towel from the same person and wiping the make-up from his face.

“Alrighty John-o, you take as much time as you need,” Phil responded, patting the actor’s arm affectionately.

Johnny sighed heavily, getting to his feet and heading to his ‘room’ which was really a trailer.  As soon as he had shut the door behind him, his phone began to ring.  Recognizing the number on the display, the black haired actor rolled his deep brown eyes before answering.  “Now’s not a good time Marilyn,” he grumbled quietly, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Why the fuck did you leave her alone?” came the singer’s icy, rage filled voice.

“I have a job you know,” Johnny sighed, sitting on the small couch the tiny trailer had.

“You have more than enough money to pass up on this shitty vampire movie!” Manson fairly screamed, forcing Johnny to pull the phone away from his ear with a wince.

“Oh yeah?  And why is it so important that I stay with her?” the actor groused, running a hand through his short, black hair.

“Because Dita has a private investigator on her ass!  Not to mention the fact the paparazzi know where she is!” the singer railed at him.

“Oh fuck!  Manson, I have to go!  I have some phone calls to make,” Johnny answered, hanging up on the performer without a thought.

Raven had put on ‘Die Hard’ in an attempt to drown out the knocking and yelling outside the door.  Her and Amanda watched the movie closely in a desperate attempt to ignore the media storm outside their temporary door.  Unfortunately, Lady’s occasional whimpers and growls kept reminding them of the huge amount of people out there.  “Raven, should I call Johnny?  Or Manson?” Amanda asked, looking at the door with huge, scared eyes.

“What could either of them do?  They’re both miles away,” Raven responded softly, tucking a strand of her black hair behind her ear.

As much as she didn’t want to admit it, Amanda knew her friend was right.  A particularly loud bang on the door caused both of them to jump and Raven to whimper anxiously.  Amanda held her shaking friend close while looking at the door with fear.  If they managed to get in, then she would call the police.

About an hour later there was a huge commotion outside then it went very quiet.  Looking at each other with a mix of fear and confusion, they both rose and moved slowly toward the door.  Gulping nervously, Raven reached out a shaking, pale hand and set it on the doorknob.  Amanda placed her hand on top of her friend’s, looking at the other female with naked fear on her face.  Giving Amanda a reassuring smile, Raven opened the door to see Charlie and his brother Jerome standing there with their hands raised to knock.

Manson trotted onto the stage, a fake sneer plastered on his face.  To tell the truth, his heart wasn’t truly in performing.  After last night he couldn’t bring himself to don his familiar stage persona.  The whole band as well as the audience seemed to sense his shift in energy as he slowly made his way onto the stage and took the mic.  “I dedicate this song to a very special person in my life.  ‘Heart-shaped Glasses!’” he screamed into the mic before the music started.

The notes of the last scheduled song faded to the wild cheers of the audience.  The band made to start packing until they noticed that Manson hadn’t moved an inch.  “I have a little surprise for my fans out there, only being performed on this stage tonight.  I’ve only done this once before and I plan this to be my last time.  ‘Hit Me Baby One More Time!’” he howled into the mic, to the surprise of his band and the audience.

“Oh baby, baby how was I supposed to know that something wasn’t right here,” he belted into the mic before the band began to play, forcing them into a bit of a panic behind him.

“Oh baby, baby I shouldn’t have let you go and now you’re out of sight, yeah,” he sang, almost chuckling as he heard the band rush to catch up to him.  The audience seemed to be in a state of shock, staring at him as if he had two heads.

“Show me how you want it to be.  Tell me cause I need to know now what we’ve got,” he sang out, longing and questioning edging into his voice as he imagined asking Raven those same questions.

“My loneliness is killing me,” he whispered into the mic, closing his eyes as he pictured murmuring the same lines to Raven.  The women in the audience wailed in response, reaching forward as one wave to try to offer comfort to the distraught singer.

“I must confess, I still believe,” he sang with his eyes still shut.

“Still believe,” Pogo tittered into a mic in a falsetto.

“When I’m not with you I lose my miiiiiind,” he screamed into the mic, the truth of that statement not lost on him or his band.

“Hit me baby one more time,” he wailed into the mic, signaling a keyboard solo.

While Pogo played an odd tune on his keyboard, Manson sauntered up to John 5 and ground up against him.  Used to this treatment, John merely kept playing while the singer gyrated against him.  As soon as the solo ended, Manson tossed his mic out into the crowd, ending the song prematurely.

As the singer nearly ran from the stage in his hurry to get to his dressing room, he blindly ran smack into someone.  “Watch where the fuck you’re going, he hissed irritably, not even looking at the person he had run into.

“You ran into  me .  Not even going to stop to say hi to an old friend?” came an amused, familiar male voice.

The voice stopped him in his tracks as the voice filled him with feelings he had long buried.  Feelings he had for the owner of said voice.  Turning to face the man but feeling afraid to see what he expected, Manson closed his eyes tightly.  Afraid to look but unable to stop himself, Manson opened his eyes to see a very familiar looking man.  He was dressed in a black suit and had long, black dreadlocks.  “Twiggy,” came the whispered name from trembling, black painted lips.

“Hey Bri, its been a while,” Twiggy Ramirez whispered, a small, sad smile on his pale face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ‘Hit Me Baby One More Time’ belongs to Brittany Spears. The version of the cover belongs to Marilyn Manson.


	12. Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: ‘'Crazy' is a term of art; 'Insane' is a term of law. Remember that, and you will save yourself a lot of trouble.’ - Hunter S. Thompson

Manson sat on the couch in his dressing room, a glass of Vodka/Absinthe in his slightly shaking hands.  Twiggy stood across from him, watching the man he had once loved placidly.  Manson swallowed the glass of alcohol with one quick flick of his wrist, shivering slightly as the burn from the liquid filled his body.  “What are you doing here?” Manson asked in an uncharacteristically quiet voice.

“I came to see you,” came the soft reply.

“Why now?  Why after all these years?” the singer asked in a strangled sounding voice.

“I read about your new girl in the gossip rags.  Under all the usual bullshit, they made it seem as if you had actually grown a heart.  I thought I would come and see for myself,” Twiggy answered, a bit of bitterness edging into his voice.

Manson’s head shot up, a vicious sneer on his face as he glared at his ex-guitarist.  “I had a heart before, may I remind you.  A heart that  you broke,” he hissed, shooting to his feet and walking over to one of the mirror dressers in his room.  He grabbed the two alcohol bottles, pouring himself a glass before immediately swallowing the fluid.

“Your heart wasn’t the only one broken Mare,” he whispered gently, using the singer’s old pet name.

“Oh please!  You never said a word against me sleeping around!  You never even seemed sad!” Manson snarled, pouring himself out another drink.

“I never objected verbally but if you had actually paid attention, you would have seen me slipping further and further into depression,” Twiggy whispered softly, not meeting Manson’s mismatched gaze.

Manson froze, putting down the glass before turning slowly to face Twiggy.  Despair and sadness were written all over the other man’s face as his brown eyes slowly rising to meet Manson’s.  “Why didn’t you just tell me?” Manson asked softly, regret filling his voice.

“If I had, would you have honestly stopped?” he asked quietly.

Manson opened his mouth to protest then quickly shut it again.  As much as he hated to admit it, Twiggy was right.  If he  had known about Twiggy’s misery, it would have bothered him but it wouldn’t have been enough to stop him from sleeping around.  “Do you care  now ?” Twiggy asked in a gruff voice, causing Manson to lock eyes with him.

“Yes, I do,” he whispered, leaving off the bit that he felt guilt because of Raven.

“Enough to stop sleeping around for  her sake?” Twiggy whispered in a tortured voice.

“Jeordie, don’t torture yourself like this,” Manson whispered, avoiding the question as he got to his feet.  Truthfully, he didn’t have an answer to that question.

“Just answer the fucking question Brian!  If she asked you to, would you stop sleeping around?” Twiggy hissed, backing away from the advancing singer.  His brown eyes flashed with an emotion that froze the performer in place.

“I… I… I don’t know,” he finally confessed in a pained voice.  It wrenched at his heart painfully to utter that admission.  Deep inside, the knowledge of the truth made him feel sick in the pit of his stomach.  Would he really risk losing Raven for his freedom?

His pale face going into a pained mask of internal agony, Manson grasped his still full glass and chugged it before filling another one.  Just the thought of losing Raven made his heart tighten in a painful way and all he wanted was to relieve that pain.  He quickly knocked back the second glass before quickly pouring another.  “Hey, hey slow down,” Twiggy whispered softly, placing a hand on Manson’s bare shoulder.

Manson whirled to face his ex-lover, tears brimming in his mismatched eyes as his face shifted between a mask of rage and his raw pain.  “Don’t think you can just walk back into my life after years of being gone and order me around!” Manson snarled, the anger in his voice betrayed by the shakiness brought on by fear.  He knocked back the glass of alcohol. already beginning to feel more than just a little drunk.

Jeordie a.k.a. Twiggy watched Manson closely, a studious look on his dark skinned face.  He had never seen the singer have such an emotional response over someone, not even Dita.  It made him very curious to meet the woman the ‘Antichrist Superstar’ felt so strongly about.  “Just, take it easy on that stuff.  I can’t imagine your new girl would be very happy if she read you died of alcohol poisoning in the tabloids tomorrow,” Twiggy suggested gently, not wanting to raise Manson’s dander any further.  It already looked as if the performer was on the brink of some sort of emotional break down.

Manson snorted at the ex-guitarist’s comment, running a pale hand through his slightly greasy black hair.  He hadn’t been taking very good care of himself these past few days due to just simply feeling listless.  Sighing, the bony singer walked back over to the couch and flopped down on it with his lanky arms hanging between his nylon covered legs.  “I know you’re right but it just hurts so much.  I’ve never felt this way about anyone,” Manson murmured softly, his head hanging slightly.

“What hurts Mare?” Twiggy asked gently, sitting next to him cautiously.  As soon as the performer showed any sign of wanting space, he would give it to him.

“The thought of losing her.  I… I think I love her.  I mean, really love her,” he confessed, almost too quiet to hear.

Jeordie stared at Manson nonplussed.  The singer had always been a bit of an emotional wall to everyone around him.  So far none of his exes had ever been able to penetrate the protective shell he had constructed around himself, until now.  Even when Manson had been dating Dita, the woman who had gotten the closest to getting him to let her in, he had never meant it when he said he had loved her.  From the depth of emotions in Manson’s voice during the confession, he could tell his ex-lover meant every word of it.  Yes, he meant every word of it and Manson was fucking scared out of his mind by that.  Meeting Raven suddenly moved all the way to the top of the ex-guitarist’s list.

Jerome had opted to stay outside in case more of the gossip hounds showed up while Charlie had come right in and set to making tea.  Amanda had stared unabashedly at Charlie while he made some mint tea while Raven tried to focus on the action movie on the screen.  The last of ‘Die Hard’ played out by the time the dark haired man had handed them both their cups.  “Are you two alright?” he asked gently, his gray-blue eyes fixed on the two women with concern.

“Yeah, just shaken up,” Amanda responded, looking at Raven with concern.  The black haired woman stared blankly at the tv, her mug held in a semi-limp hand.

Charlie also looked at Raven, deep concern creasing his brow.  Making a motion with his head to Amanda to follow him, the chauffeur walked into the kitchen.  “Johnny’s on an overnight flight back.  I’d say its a good thing given her condition.  What’s wrong with her?” he whispered, blowing his tea and taking a small sip from the small, porcelain cup.

“That  is  a good thing.  At least he’ll distract her from missing that ass so much,” Amanda whispered, sneering on the last words.

“Is that all that’s bothering her?  Missing Manson?” he asked incredulously, looking at the top of Raven’s head.

“You don’t understand, Raven is highly dependant on people.  When she falls in love with someone it literally kills her inside to be away from them,” she whispered, moving a strand of her curly, brown hair behind an ear.

“Mmm.  Would you like me to crash here for tonight?  I wouldn’t be comfortable leaving you without transportation,” he offered, keeping his stormy eyes on Raven.

“Y-yeah, that might be best,” Amanda admitted quietly, also looking at Raven.  The last time she had seen her friend like this it hadn’t ended well.  Shuddering at the unwanted memories, Amanda sighed and took a sip of her tea.  With the way things were going she was half tempted to call a certain asshole and tell him to get his butt back here.  If things got any worse, she would certainly make that call.

Angry voices from outside the door broke the tension like a fine thread.  Raven’s head turned to look at the door over the back of the white couch.  Blinking, the black haired female got to her feet; moving to the door to open it.  She only stopped when she felt a hand on her bare forearm.  Turning her head, her hazel eyes fixed on a very worried looking Amanda.  “Don’t!  Just let Jerome handle it,” her friend insisted, concern in her green eyes.

Choosing to ignore her roomie’s admittedly good advice, Raven jerked free of Amanda’s hold and opened the door slowly.  Outside stood a very familiar looking, very beautiful, black haired woman who was arguing loudly with Jerome.  She was dressed in a fashionable, old style, pink dress and her blue eyes sparked angrily.  “I don’t care  who you are!  I want to talk to that little whore immediately!” she screamed, veins standing out in her pale neck.

“Oh fuck,” Raven whispered, recognizing immediately who it was.  The person screaming at her temporary bodyguard was none other than Dita von Teese.  Unfortunately her unthinking utterance turned the full brunt of the pin-up star’s rage onto Raven.

“You little bitch,” she hissed, trying to dodge around the huge bodyguard to get at Raven.

“Wh-what on earth did I do to you?” Raven asked, flabbergasted.

“Do you have  any  idea how fragile Brian  is ?!  How damaged?!  You’re playing games with his heart and I won’t have it,” she hissed, her furious blue eyes narrowing.

“What are you  talking about?!  I would  never  play games with  any one’s heart!” Raven yelled back, her small pale hands balling into tight fists as she began to walk towards Dita.

Amanda and Charlie, who had been standing right behind her, were quick to grab an arm each.  “I’m talking about your relationship with Johnny fucking Depp!” she screeched, trying to reach around Jerome to grab Raven even though she was a few feet away.

“What relationship?!  Johnny and I are just friends!  Look, Marilyn isn’t the only who’s been hurt by people,” Raven snarled, trying to break free from Amanda and Charlie.

“Then why were you staying here with him for a couple days?” Dita hissed, straightening and glaring at Raven.

“I was here because he brought a whore to my house and fucked her while calling my name!  Anyone would need time to reconcile that!” Raven replied, glaring back but no longer struggling.

“I… I hadn’t heard about that,” Dita responded, the anger slowly beginning to leave her.

“I’m not surprised.  Private investigators only tend to get a partial story after all,” Raven growled, gently pulling her arms free from Amanda and Charlie’s loosened grips.

“How can I be sure you’re telling the truth about any of this?” asked the model, narrowing her eyes suspiciously.

“Although I don’t feel I owe you anything after bribing my father for dirt on me, I’ll answer you.  Dita, I love Brian with all my heart.  I’ve loved him for a very long time, long before I ever met him.  I know a lot of what he’s been through with all his various relationships.  I may not know everything about his past but I want to get the chance to know!  I want to share my life with him, the good and the bad!” Raven growled, glaring heatedly at Dita.

Dita blinked as she absorbed everything Raven had said as well as the way she said it.  The emotions in Raven’s voice sounded absolutely genuine and the model began to feel a worm of guilt begin to wriggle in her heart.  If Raven was truly genuine, Dita had a lot to atone for.  “I… I see,” she responded lamely, for lack of anything better to respond with.

“So if you would do me a favor and just fuck off, I’d be grateful,” Raven hissed before turning around, entering the suite and slamming the door behind her.

Dita stood for a long while, staring at the closed door with a thoughtful expression on her face.  Maybe this one woman could be the one Brian needed all this time.  The one who could even heal his broken heart.  Still wearing a thoughtful expression, the pin-up star merely turned and began to walk down the hall.  She had a phonecall to make to a certain singer and ask some questions.

Manson lay on the bed in the back of the tour bus, a bare arm draped over his closed eyes.  He still wore his make-up and had put on some black jeans but that was all he wore.  On the same bed sat Twiggy, looking down at the singer with concerned eyes.  Manson had gotten onto the bus severely drunk and had gone right to the room in the back.  Twiggy had followed right behind despite the protests from John and Ginger.  Now, seeing how distraught Mansons is, he knew he had made the right decision.  “I’m about ready to end this tour prematurely,” he grumbled softly, his tattooed arm still resting over his closed eyes.

“You must really miss her,” Jeordie whispered, looking at the singer with gentle, brown eyes.

“You have no idea man.  Shit, we haven’t even had sex yet and I feel as if I’m dying without her by my side,” he grumbled, sounding both sad and frightened at the same time.

He had never, ever felt this way about anyone.  Sure he had missed his exes while on tour but this felt different.  It felt as if the very air was being stolen from his lungs and an icepick driven into his heart every moment he was away from her.  His need for her to be near honestly scared him a lot.  He had never felt this attached before and he had yet to even tell her anything about himself.  He wasn’t even sure if he could push her away if she got too close.  With a frustrated growl, the bony singer pounded the mattress with a closed fist.  “Jeordie, I’m scared man.  I… I don’t think I can live without her and that scares me.  I’ve never gotten that close to  any  of my exes.  None of them ever got in, but Raven…  She managed to do it with one fucking song!  What’ll I do when she eventually leaves?!” Manson growled in a distressed voice.  Just the thought of her being gone from his life nearly brought him to tears.

Twiggy watched his ex-lover, a small smile on his face.  His closed off friend was finally finding himself truly in love and he was glad for that.  “How do you know she’ll leave?” he asked gently, placing a dark skinned hand over Manson’s pale fist.

“They all do at some point.  I always drive my girlfriends away with one thing or another.  Dita certainly doesn’t help things either,” the singer confessed softly.

“Are you so certain she’ll be like the others?” the ex-guitarist asked gently, giving Manson’s loosening fist a tight squeeze.

That question gave Manson pause.  Thinking back on everything that Raven had stuck with him through, he found the answer and it surprised him.  “Actually, I highly doubt it.  She’s forgiven me for cheating on her twice.  She even basically gave me permission to sleep with groupies while on tour,” he responded, sitting up slowly and looking over at Twiggy.

“That’s… really surprising actually,” Jeordie responded, sounding confused.  He had never heard of a woman that would so willing accept the fact that rockstars will sleep around.

Manson sighed, running a pale hand through his slightly greasy, shoulder length, black hair.  Despite his extreme want to just go back to the woman who so patiently waited for him, Manson knew he would have to complete his tour.  “Ugh, I wish I wasn’t obligated to finish this fucking farce,” the performer whispered, getting to his feet slowly and swaying drunkenly in place.

Twiggy was right beside him, a steadying hand on the singer’s bare arm.  “Lets get you in the shower hun,” he whispered, gently leading the drunk Manson to a bathroom just outside the bedroom.  Once inside, Jeordie leaned against the wall and watched the drunk singer pull off his black jeans and start a shower.  Then Manson stepped into the shower and began to wash.  It was at that time that Manson’s phone began to ring with a familiar ring tone.

Stealthily and hoping that Manson hadn’t heard the phone, Twiggy took the object outside while it still blared ‘Crazy Bitch’.  Once he had closed the door and was sure the performer wouldn’t overhear the conversation, the ex-guitarist flipped open the phone.  “What the fuck do you want Dita?” Jeordie hissed in a dangerous voice.

“Jeordie?!  What the fuck are  you doing there?” came the model’s incredulous voice.

“Its none of your business!  Now tell me what you want before I simply hang up on you,” Twiggy growled angrily.

“I need to talk to Brian,” she answered, sounding confused as well as a bit desperate.

“Well you’re talking to me and its Manson to you.  Now say what you have to say and just leave him alone!  You’ve done more than enough damage!” the angry male hissed, tightening his free hand into a tight fist.

“I was just trying to protect him Jeordie!  I may have left but I still care about him!” Dita exclaimed, sounding very distressed.

“You have some way of showing it!  Everything you’ve done has nearly destroyed him!  It tears him apart every time you call!  Just leave him the fuck alone!” Jeordie snarled viciously, beginning to pace from the pure rage flowing through him.

“Jeordie!  Enough!  I just…  None of those women actually loved him!  I had to be sure they would stick it through with him!  I just didn’t want him to get hurt!” Dita explained, her voice thick with tears.

“Oh you did a great job of that!  You only drove away every single one of his other girlfriends, breaking his heart more and more every time,” he hissed.

“Enough!  I just called to ask some questions about Raven.  I just met her and she was… very interesting,” the pin-up model whispered.

“What the  fuck  did you do to her you fucking bitch!  You have  no  idea just how much this woman means to Marilyn!  If you drove her away, I will make it my life’s mission to make your life a living hell!” Jeordie screamed into the phone, moving to the front of the bus so the showering singer wouldn’t overhear.

“I doubt I could drive her away if I tried.  From what I could tell, she seemed completely genuine.  How much  does  she mean to Brian?” Dita whispered, not sounding the least bit afraid of the ex-guitarist.

“He’s feeling guilty about cheating on her,” Twiggy responded, ignoring the stares from the four current band members.

“Wow,” she responded quietly, her voice full of awe.

It was then that Twiggy noticed the shower had stopped running.  “Look, I have to go.  Just leave that woman the fuck alone or else you’ll have  me  to deal with,” Jeordie snarled before unceremoniously hanging up on Dita.


	13. It Never Heals, it Never Goes Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning!!!: Self harm! Parts that have Self harm will be marked with this symbol: ***

***    Raven sat on the tile floor of her bathroom, her head resting on her knees and her shoulder length black hair hanging over her bare legs.  Johnny had come back a week ago and him, Amanda, Charlie and even Jerome had tried to distract her from the aching hole she felt in her heart.  She had done her best to put on a happy mask around them and slowly, over the course of a couple days, she had finally managed to get them to give her some much needed space.  As much as she appreciated their efforts, she was also nauseated by them.  The outings that had been forced on her had only served to remind her that she was out with Johnny, not Manson.

    Heaving a shuddering sigh, the scantily clad female looked at an unassuming novelty pin that she had brought into the bathroom with her.  She had never used a razor before and she didn’t aim to.  Using a razor would mean she had a problem and she didn’t have a problem!  She only did this to make herself feel better, to maybe relieve this horrible, aching pain she felt inside every moment she was away from him.  Sighing again, Raven lifted her left hand and looked at the faint, cross-like scar that adorned the top of her wrist.  At a certain angle the cross looked like it was upside down, which was what she had been aiming for when she first made it.  That time almost seemed a life-time ago.

    It had been so long since she had last done anything like this, she couldn’t help but hesitate.  Logically she knew that hurting herself would only result causing more trouble but she still felt something inside her, urging her to relieve her pain in a very physical manner.  Whimpering, Raven burrowed her head into her knees and grasped the top of her head with both hands.  If she gave in to herself she would be letting down Amanda.  Amanda, who had so long ago came upon her secret by accident.  Amanda, who had made her make a vow to never do such a thing to herself again.

    Making a low moaning noise, the underwear clad woman looked up the the pin’s round, black colored surface.  The jaunty phrase ‘Don’t Worry, be Happy!’ was written across it in white, making her feel slightly sick about what she was considering using it for.  Reaching forward with a shaky, pale hand, Raven grasped the round pin and flipped it around to look at the back.  Her reasons for doing this so long ago were very different but the pain oddly felt the same.  Closing her hazel eyes, she unclasped the long, sharp pin.  Just the sight of the point brought back a lot of unwanted memories.  Memories of pain and tears and blood.  “Would Manson want you to hurt yourself?” she whispered quietly, her voice echoing slightly in the empty bathroom.

    Tears beginning to roll down her pale cheeks, the distraught female stared down at the pin in her hand.  The point almost seemed to be mocking her, calling her a coward for even thinking about doing this.  Yet the aching, burning hole in her heart kept torturing her, making miserable tears roll down her cheeks.  She wasn’t strong enough to resist the pull and she hated herself.  She hated herself as she began to scratch at the faded scar on the top of her wrist.  She hated herself even more for the instant relief she felt from the act.  Guilty tears rolling down her cheeks, Raven left the bathroom and got dressed in her normal attire.  Despite what she had done being very shameful, she would never hide it.  Hiding it would only cause more problems.***

    Looking at the still dribbling wound, Raven steeled herself and went out into the living room.  No matter what happened out there, she would bare it.  As she walked out, she saw everyone was there and suddenly felt a lot more self conscious.  Looking at Johnny and Amanda but avoiding Charlie and Jerome, Raven made her way to the table.  “I… er… I,” she whimpered, placing her injured hand on the table with her other hand covering it purposefully.

    “Raven... ,” Amanda whispered, moving towards her friend slowly.  Worry jolted in her heart as she noticed how guilty and afraid Raven looked.

    “Uh, Jerome, Charlie would you mind giving us some time alone,” Amanda asked gently, looking away from her friend to put her at ease.  It wouldn’t help anything if she blew up at the already stressed Raven.

    Johnny looked at the obviously distressed Raven and began to move toward her while Charlie and Jerome quietly left.  The two men could easily sense the tension and decided to just leave as quietly as they could.  “Raven?” Johnny whispered, stopping a few feet from the tense woman as the suite door clicked shut.

***    “I… I just…  it hurt so bad… I couldn’t,” Raven whispered in a broken voice, removing her hand to reveal the very shallow, already scabbing, cross-like wound she had carved into herself.***

    “Oh Raven…,” Amanda and Johnny whispered in unison, both of them going to one side of her.  Johnny gently lifted her injured hand to examine it while Amanda gently rubbed Raven’s pale, shaking arm.

    “I’m not mad at you Raven, its okay.  I’m just happy you told us.  Its okay Raven.  Let’s get you patched up.  Johnny, would you stay here with Raven while I get the first aid supplies?” Amanda whispered, somehow managing to keep her voice calm despite her deep terror.

    Raven sighed, sitting down and letting Johnny gently take her hand in his.  He made a pained noise at the sight of her injury before taking her into a gentle hug.  “Oh Raven I’m so sorry.  I should have seen the signs.  I should have known you were in pain.  I failed you,” he whispered softly, tightening his hold on her slightly.

    “N-no.  Its not your fault Johnny.  I should have had better control over myself,” Raven whispered, watching Amanda as she scurried into the hall.  All of a sudden Raven knew her friend was calling Manson and she felt her entire world begin to crumble.  What would the singer do when he found out?  Raven shuddered from the thought, earning a concerned glance from Johnny.

    In the depths of the bedroom in the back of the tour bus, a mass of limbs shifted.  “Mmmmmph,” came a deep male groan as a pale form began to pull himself free.  For the past few days Twiggy had been allowing him to use him as a sort of frustration relief.  At least this way Manson could feel less like he was cheating on Raven as it wasn’t another girl.  Twiggy had no illusions about where his heart was either.  It seemed like the ex-guitarist merely wanted to offer the singer some much needed sexual release, no strings attached.

    ‘Last Day on Earth’ began to play, breaking the lazy silence of the sleeping lovers.  A pale, tattooed arm immediately grabbed the phone as Manson sat up.  “Raven?” he murmured sleepily, yawning and stretching.

    “No, this is Amanda.  I just kinda stole her phone.  Listen, you need to get back as soon as you can,” came a frantic sounding female voice.

    “What happened?  Is Raven alright?” Manson asked, his heart feeling as if it had plummeted into a bottomless pit.  Fear filled him in a cold rush as his hand tightened on the phone while Twiggy sat up behind him.  He could feel his ex-lover looking at his back but ignored it for now.

***    “That’s kinda why I called.  Raven… well she erm… she cut herself… on purpose,” Amanda replied reluctantly.  She pulled the phone slightly away from her ear in preparation for a loud fit and she wasn’t disappointed.***

    “What?!  How deep is it?!  Is she in the hospital?!  Was it a suicide attempt?!” came the frantic questions as he shot to his feet and began to pace.  Still naked, his flaccid penis swayed almost comically as he moved.  In another situation, the sight would have made Twiggy giggle a bit.  As it was, Manson’s words had also filled him with fear.  What would the singer do if Raven was seriously injured?

***    “She just scratched herself with a novelty pin.  Its in the shape of a cross and needs no special treatment.  She’s not suicidal but the stress of you being gone is obviously getting to her.  Why the fuck don’t you call more often?!” Amanda screamed, sounding panicked and accusatory.***

    “I refuse to answer to you for anything!  I have my own reasons!  Now, please, let me talk to Raven,” Manson growled, flipping between rage and deep concern.  Out of the corner of his eye he saw Twiggy getting to his feet and shook his head.  He knew from experience that what had happened was deeply personal to Raven.  As much as he trusted Twiggy, it was really none of his business.

    “No, the last thing she needs is you yelling at her!” Amanda hissed digging under the sink in Raven’s bathroom for the first aid supplies.

    “Yelling at her is the last thing I’d do right now.  I just want to make sure she’s okay,” he growled through gritted teeth as patiently as he could.  If Amanda didn’t let him talk to Raven soon he would lose his tenuous grip on his temper.

    “Yeah, sure!  And you won’t call her while you’re on tour for some mysterious reason,” Amanda snapped back, gathering the supplies and beginning to head back.

    “Look!  Please, just let me talk to Raven.  I promise I won’t yell at her,” Manson snarled, every muscle in his body twitching with his effort to keep from yelling.

    “Fine, but if I hear about you yelling at her later I will never give the phone to her again if I have to call you,” the curly haired female whispered heatedly before fixing a smile on her face and gently giving the phone to Raven.

    Raven looked at the phone then at Amanda, a horrified look on her face.  At that moment she was very grateful for Johnny, who chose that moment to gently embrace her again.  “Its okay Raven, he’s just worried.  Besides, he needed to know as soon as possible,” Amanda assured gently, smiling at her friend guiltily.

    “Raven?  I’m not mad!  I promise!  Just talk to me!  Please,” came a muffled, male voice from the phone.  On the other end Manson had his mismatched eyes squeezed shut as he held onto his black phone tightly.

    “Please baby, please talk to me.  Just let me know you’re okay,” he pleaded as loud as he could without sounding like he was yelling.

    “M-marilyn?  I… I…,” came a whispered female voice, nearly making him collapse from the relief he felt.

    “Shhh, its okay hun.  Its not your fault and I’m not mad.  Are you okay?” he asked gently, wishing he could be there to hold her right now.  Twiggy shifted behind him as the ex-guitarist got dressed and quietly left the room.

    “I… y-yeah.  It’s not too deep,” Raven whispered, closing her eyes as the ache in her chest left for the first time in days.

    “Raven, I’ll be stuck on this tour for quite a bit longer but I would like you to come see me.  In the next few days our next city is gonna be Las Vegas.  Can you make it?” he whispered, a bit of his blind panic leaving for just longing for her to be by his side.  All he wanted to do was wrap her in his arms and kiss her wounds.

    “I don’t have the money,” she whispered, ignoring the confused looks of Johnny and Amanda.  Just the sound of his voice made her feel so much better and she found herself forgetting what had just happened.

    “Don’t worry about that.  I’ll arrange for the tickets for a plane tomorrow.  I’ll set you guys up in a hotel and come to find you before the show,” Manson replied gently, stopping long enough to pull on a pair of black jeans.

    “A-all of us?” Raven asked in a quiet voice, looking at Johnny and Amanda shyly.  The pair looked back at her with a mix of confusion and concern.

    “Of course!  I wouldn’t make you travel alone right now,” he assured gently, fastening his pants and pulling on a skin tight, long sleeve, black shirt.

    “O-okay.  I guess I should get ready,” she whispered, looking unsurely down at her wound.  Johnny was dabbing at it gently with an alcohol soaked cotton swab and Amanda was holding out a large band-aid.

    “I can’t wait to see you,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion.  This latest incident had scared him more than he would ever tell her and he doubted he could sleep until he held her in his arms.

    “Good-bye Manson, I love you,” she whispered softly, smiling as she closed her phone.

    “Are we going somewhere?” Johnny asked gently, the tone of his voice saying he wasn’t about to let her out of his sight.

    “Er, yeah.  Marilyn seems a bit shaken up by current events so he’s getting us plane tickets to the city of his next show.  We’re going to Las Vegas,” Raven responded with a weak smile.

    “I guess that means Charlie is going to drive us to the airport tomorrow,” Johnny responded, kissing the band-aid on top of Raven’s wrist.

    “Ugh!  As if I can take more time off work!” Amanda grumped playfully, winking at Raven.

    “Who’s going to take care of the pets?” Raven asked, looking from Johnny to Amanda.

    “I’m sure Jerome won’t mind,” Johnny replied gently, running a hand through his short, black hair.

    “I’ll go help Raven pack.  You go talk to Charlie and Jerome,” Amanda suggested, grabbing the slightly shell-shocked Raven and steering her toward the the black haired female’s room.

    Everything seemed to pass in a strange rush as Raven found events jumping in time around her.  One moment she was packing under the watchful eye of Amanda.  The next moment she was sitting on a plane, Johnny gently holding her right hand while Amanda looked out the window.  Finally she was in a hotel room and putting down her suitcase while Johnny and Amanda did the same.

    Blinking, Raven looked around the huge suite.  It had three rooms, much like Johnny’s suite and looked very similar.  “What happened?” she asked in a soft croaky voice, surprising everyone; including herself.

    “Hey Raven, you’ve been in kinda a daze for the whole trip.  We decided it would be best to leave you be,” Johnny replied softly, smiling with relief.  The actor had a light stubble where he was once clean shaven.  Raven was struck by the random thought that she preferred how he looked before he shaved for the vampire movie.

    “You should grow out your goatee again,” she murmured randomly before simply flopping on the red couch.  She missed the concerned look the actor and woman shared.

    “Raven?” Amanda whispered in an unsure voice, moving toward her friend slowly.

    “I’m okay Mandy, just a bit tired,” came a sleep muzzed, female voice from the couch.

    “Ah, that explains a bit.  When she gets over-tired she can get a bit weird,” Amanda explained to the slightly stunned looking actor.

    “So that’s normal for her?” he asked in an amused baritone, short strands of his black hair hanging in his eyes.

    “Oh you wouldn’t believe how weird she can get sometimes.  There was one time where she was so tired she started randomly talking to dancing potatoes only she could see,” Amanda responded in an amused tone, dragging her luggage toward the bedrooms.

    “I am still here yanno,” Raven grumbled in a playfully grumpy voice.

    “Oh, I assure you I didn’t forget,” Johnny purred, kneeling in front of her and smiling.

    “Stop that with the melty voice and cute face,” Raven grumbled, waving at Johnny tiredly.

    “What if I don’t want to?” he whispered, coming a bit closer to the prone female.

    “S’not fair yanno,” the black haired female grumped into the red couch cushion.

    “What isn’t?” Johnny asked, tilting his head in confusion.  His brown eyes rested on her form fondly, not wandering to any inappropriate areas.

    “You’re so handsome.  Can get any woman you want.  You and Manson.  What makes me so special?” Raven murmured, sitting up and looking at Johnny who was still kneeling in front of her.  The actor was dressed in a skin tight, green t-shirt and form fitting blue jeans, a sight that would set any normal women to drooling.  Even Raven felt drawn to the actor, almost feeling unfaithful due to her attraction.

    “You’re a very odd person.  You and Amanda.  Neither of you treat me as a famous person or a pawn to get you somewhere in life.  You treat me like just another person, something a lot of people can’t seem to do,” he replied sitting next to her and pulling her close gently.

    Raven closed her eyes, breathing in his warm, comforting scent.  Today he smelled of sandalwood, musk and the ocean, all scents she found profoundly comforting.  Closing her hazel eyes and smiling slightly, Raven nuzzled into his lightly muscled chest.  “Mmm, you smell nice,” she murmured sleepily, barely covering her wide yawn.

    Johnny only chuckled before gently picking her up bridal style.  “I’m so very glad you think so.  Now, lets get you tucked into bed,” he whispered, his voice sounding gruff and uneven.  Raven nuzzled into Johnny’s t-shirt, murmuring nonsense as she clung to his shirt with one hand.  Fighting the urge to lean down and kiss her forehead, the tall actor gently carried her into one of the empty bedrooms and laid her in the turquoise bedsheets.

    “Need to call Bri…,” she whispered, letting the secret pet name slip from her lips.

    “Shh, let me handle that.  Just get some rest,” Johnny assured her gently, pulling a light blanket over her still clothed form.  He couldn’t help the thrill he felt at the grateful smile she gave him as she slipped into unconsciousness.

    As quietly as he could, Johnny tip-toed from the room and pulled his phone out as he entered the living room.  Looking at the slightly open bedroom door, Johnny slowly dialed out Manson’s number.  “Johnny?” came a confused, baritone voice from the other end.

    “Uh, hey Brian.  We got here fine.  Raven is asleep.  Seems like she’s been awake for a few days straight,” Johnny assured, keeping an eye on Raven’s slightly open door.

    “Make sure she stays safe.  We’ll be there in a couple days at our current pace.  I also have some good news,” Manson responded, sighing in relief as he sat out in the common area of the bus with his band and Twiggy.  He gave an ‘Ok’ symbol to the people who stared at him anxiously and was happy to see them all have varying degrees of relief on their faces.

    “Oh thank fuck,” murmured Ginger quietly, earning a nod of agreement from John, Pogo, Tim and Twiggy.  Manson had let them in on the fact that Raven had self harmed but hadn’t told them any other details.

    “What’s your news?” Johnny asked, running a hand through his short, black hair.

    “Twiggy made some phone calls while I was talking to Raven yesterday.  I only have to do the tour one more week,” he responded, excitement dancing on the edges of his voice like a giddy child.

    “When did Twiggy get back?” Johnny asked, his voice tinged with confusion.  Last he had heard, Twiggy had been gone for years with absolutely no contact.

    “A week ago.  He heard about Raven and was curious about a few things.  Anyway, I have to go.  Can you tell Raven the good news for me?” Manson asked, sounding distracted.  They were just pulling up to a restaurant and the others were trying to force him off the phone to eat.

    “Yeah, sure!  I’m really happy you got a break.  I’d like to hear how Jeordie managed that,” the actor chuckled, grinning from ear to ear.

    “So would I actually.  Thanks Johnny, for everything,” Manson replied sincerely before hanging up.

    “You’re welcome.  I’m just sorry that I’m in love with her,” he whispered, placing the silent phone on the kitchen table.  Guilt began to fill him as he rested his elbows on the table, gripping his head in his hands.  He wanted nothing more that to have Raven as his and the knowledge made him tear slightly at his hair.

    Slamming his fist lightly down on the table, the lithe actor got to his feet with a determined look on his face.  They were in fucking Vegas!  He would be an idiot if he didn’t take advantage of this fact!  A plan already forming in his mind, Johnny walked to Amanda’s closed door and gently knocked.  “I’m going out to go get some supplies!  Can you keep an eye on Raven for me?” he asked, excitement making it hard for him to stand still.

    “Huh?  Oh sure!  I’m almost done unpacking!  Would you mind picking up some coffee while you’re out?  I’ll pay you for it when you get back,” Amanda replied, sounding distracted.

    “Can do!  Don’t worry about paying though!  Its on me,” he offered before he sprinted out the door.  He couldn’t help but giggle at his idea as he walked down the deserted hall to the elevator.

    Two voices arguing playfully broke into the velvet comfort of her deep sleep.  Groaning groggily, Raven sat up and rubbed her sleep filled eyes.  Dimly thankful that she was still dressed, the sleepy female left the dark room to see Amanda and Johnny locking horns over the payment for an unassuming tin of instant coffee.  “It was only a few bucks.  I can assure you I don’t even notice the amount,” Johnny retorted, grinning playfully as he ducked a well-aimed swat from Amanda.

    “And I told you I always pay for my own shit,” Amanda growled with a grin on her face as she shoved a handful of money into Johnny’s front jeans pocket.

    Johnny reached to take it out of his pocket before Amanda grabbed his wrist, glaring at him with playful green eyes.  “Take it out of your pocket and it gets shoved into your underwear,” she threatened, her voice deadly serious while holding laughter.

    “Okay, okay!  I give up!  You win!” the actor conceded, a smile on his lightly stubbled face.  Then, as soon as Amanda had her back turned, Johnny took the money out of his pocket and slipped it into her back jeans pocket.

    Amanda whirled around, her hands on her hips as she pulled the money free.  “Alright, I warned you,” she growled before pouncing at him, starting off an odd chase around the living room.

    Raven watched the pair from the hallway with an amused smile on her face before clearing her throat to get their attention.  Johnny and Amanda stopped in their tracks, looking at Raven abashed.  “I’m sorry Raven, did we wake you?” Johnny asked gently, rubbing the back of his head while grinning.

    “Ha!  Got ya!” Amanda crowed triumphantly as she stuffed the small handful of bills down the front of Johnny’s pants.  Johnny gasped, staring at the curly haired woman with astonishment as she laughed at him.

    “Yeah, but I don’t mind.  It seems like you guys were having fun,” Raven yawned with a tired smile on her pale face.

    Sighing, Johnny pulled the small wad of cash out of the front of his pants and put it in his left front pocket.  “Well, as long as you’re awake, I might as well tell ya the news.  Twiggy is apparently back and he got Manson’s tour time down to only a week,” he announced, reaching over and giving Amanda’s curly brown hair a ruffle.  Amanda protested grouchily, flailing at Johnny while sticking her tongue out at him.

    “Twiggy’s back?  Is Manson okay?  When did he get back?  Wait… did you just say he only had a week left?” Raven gushed out all at once, concern and excitement filling her voice.

    “He came back a week ago and Manson seems fine with it.  And yes, yes I did say he only had a week left,” Johnny responded with a grin.

    Raven’s eyes went wide as confusion and excitement mixed within her.  She could barely wait to see Manson but was also curious as to why the hell Twiggy had come back after all these years.  She also had some rather strange images in her head of what the two could have been doing together for a week.  She was well aware of Manson’s past relationship with the guitarist and the thought of them in bed together aroused her in odd ways, much to her mortification.  “Unfortunately he won’t be here for a couple days,” Johnny murmured, his smile slowly disappearing.

    “Two days?!  I’ll go crazy!” Raven exclaimed miserably, throwing her pale arms in the air.

    “Oh, I’m sure I’ll be able to keep you busy,” Johnny replied, a mischievous smile beginning to curl his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: ‘Two minutes. Two centuries. It all ticks by so quickly.’ - Pinhead


	14. Fear and Loathing with Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning!!: Illegal drug use.

The first thing Raven noticed was the smell of cigarette smoke.  Her brow crinkling in confusion, she opened her eyes to make out the blurred outline of a person standing next to her bed.  The person appeared to be dressed in an odd black and yellow shirt as well as white shorts.  As her vision cleared, the sleepy female was able to make out what appeared to be Raoul Duke standing next to her bed.  “Mmmph, whatever I took last night I think I need more,” she mumbled to herself as she rubbed her eyes to make the image disappear.

When Raoul Duke didn’t disappear, Raven blinked and took a closer look.  Upon closer inspection Raven noticed it was Johnny dressed as Raoul from Fear and Loathing.  “J-Johnny?  What are you doing dressed up like that?” she squeaked out, waving a wisp of cigarette smoke out of her face.

“Well, we’re in Las Vegas so I figured why not,” he responded in his Raoul Duke voice, smiling around the cigarette holder in his mouth.

“Anything worth doing, is worth doing right,” she returned with her own smile as she swung her legs over the side of her bed.

“Took the words out of my mouth.  You’ll need more clothes than that,” ‘Raoul’ responded, gesturing to her attire with an amused grin.  His brown eyes sparkled from behind his large, orange, aviator sunglasses as he took a long drag from the cigarette in the holder.

“And  you’ll need to amscray before I get dressed,” Raven quipped, placing her hands on her hips.  Her only article of clothing she had on was an extra large Marilyn Manson t-shirt.

“Hmm, if this is the view I’ll get I think I’ll stick around,” ‘Raoul’ responded with a semi-perverted grin as his glasses hidden eyes roved over her body.

Raven’s pale face went deep crimson as she laughed nervously.  Although she couldn’t see his eyes, she could tell by his body language that he was actually ogling her.  “That’s very funny Johnny but if you want me to get dressed sometime today you’re going to have to leave now,” Raven responded a bit nervously, not quite daring to meet his eyes.

All of a sudden he was right in front of her, his hand lifting her chin as he locked gazes with her through the orange tinted glasses.  “What if I  like what you’re wearing?” he whispered in a gruff voice, wrapping his other arm around her waist and pulling her close.

“S-stop joking around!  You just got done saying I needed more clothes on,” she responded, sounding even more nervous as she squirmed in his tight grasp.

“Who says I’m joking,” Johnny responded, his voice deep and throaty as he rested his forehead against hers.  His lips barely touched hers, making her draw in a shaky breath.

Raven looked up at him with wide hazel eyes, arousal fighting for dominance with guilt inside her.  With a small smile, she tried to push away from the actor; only making him tighten his arms around her.  “J-Johnny, I can’t.  I’m with Marilyn,” she whispered softly, pulling away from him again.

“I know,” he sighed, finally releasing her reluctantly.  Raven looked up at him with regret and sympathy as she rested a gentle hand on his bare arm.

“I’m sorry, you have no idea how sorry I am.  If I wasn’t with Marilyn, I would be with you in a heartbeat.  To be honest, I never thought Manson would want me; let alone you.  I mean look at me!  I’m nothing amazing to look at!  Especially compared to Dita,” Raven assured, gesturing to herself.  She was a little overweight but not morbidly obese, was more pale than paper and was also a mere 5’ 8”; nothing she considered appealing in the slightest.

“Sweetie, I haven’t been able to stop looking at you since I met you in the park.  There’s just something about you that draws me to you,” he whispered in a shaky, throaty voice, his hands clenching and unclenching.

Raven’s throat suddenly felt very dry and she swallowed reflexively, a dry click coming from her throat.  The tone of Johnny’s voice as well as what he was saying had caused a jolt of arousal as well as flusterment to run through her.  “J-Johnny…,” she stammered, clutching her hands in her shirt over her racing heart.

“Forget it hun, lets just get on with our day,” he replied with a small grin.  Then he turned and left the room, leaving Raven to her tortured, guilty thoughts.

Two pairs of black painted lips met with a heated moan from both parties.  Manson’s pale right hand tangled in Twiggy’s dreadlocks while his tongue plundered the ex-guitarist’s willing mouth.  The singer’s free hand traveled down Jeordie’s naked hips, scratching at the darker skin lightly with his black nails.  “Mmmmm,” Twiggy moaned heatedly into Manson’s mouth as he wrapped both his arms around the other man’s pale neck.

Manson broke the kiss slowly, a low, satisfied growl rumbling low in his bony chest.  Twiggy whimpered pathetically, his kohl covered lids fluttering open.  “B-Bri…,” he moaned breathily, moving one of his hands to the back of Manson’s head.  His hand tightened in the shoulder length, black hair as he tried to force the singer’s lips back down to his.

“Mmm naughty Jeordie, calling me my birthname,” the singer hissed in a baritone so deep it was nearly a growl, his hand tightening on Jeordie’s hip almost painfully.

“Ah!” Twiggy gasped out, his dreadlocked head tilting back as Manson bit his neck hard.

The singer growled against his ex-bandmate’s neck possessively as he bit Jeordie’s flesh.  A rush of copper fluid came into his mouth, making him release the wound gently.  Making a noise that could only be described as a purr, Manson lapped at the bleeding wound; his left hand coming up to tweak a dark nipple.  “Just fuckin’ take me already Mare!  You  know I hate this teasing shit,” Jeordie growled, reaching between them to cup Manson’s straining erection.

Manson gasped, his hips jerking of their own accord as Jeordie’s hand met his aching flesh.  “Mmmm, all in good time Jeordie,” he purred, pulling his throbbing member out of the ex-guitarist’s reach.

“Oh god Manson, you know what saying my name like that does to me,” Twiggy panted, his brown eyes fluttering shut in pleasure.

“Only too well Jeordie,” the singer rumbled, kissing down Twiggy’s naked body.  He stopped at the nest of black pubes, admiring the panting man’s rock hard member.  A pearly drop of salty pre beaded at the tip and Manson licked his lips at the sight of it.

Giving the twitching rod a chaste kiss, Manson moved down until his head rested between Jeordie’s surprisingly hairless thighs.  With deft hands, the now smirking singer lifted and parted Twiggy’s legs until his pucker was revealed to his eyes.  “Marilyn, you better not be thinking of doing what I think you are,” Jeordie gasped out, his thighs twitching in Manson’s hands.

Chuckling low in his chest, Manson snaked out his tongue and licked the puckered skin of Twiggy’s entrance.  Jeordie moaned heatedly, arching his hips to press himself against Manson’s tongue.  The singer merely grinned before giving the puckered flesh another slow lick.  “Oh ffffuck,” Jeordie growled out, gripping the black silk sheets in both hands.

“You always  did love this,” Manson purred, blowing against the moist flesh.

“Mmmmnh, bastard,” Twiggy hissed, wiggling his hips in the performer’s tight grasp.

Chuckling again, Manson pressed his tongue against the tight hole; wriggling the tip of the strong muscle just past the tight ring.  “Ah-ahn!  Oooooooh,” Twiggy gasped out, his hips jolting upward as he tried to press down on the tongue inside him.  Purring in approval, Manson gripped Jeordie’s trembling hips and forced them wider apart.  His tongue slowly went deeper and deeper into the tight passage until he felt a small bump of flesh deep inside.

With a deft flick of his skilled tongue, Manson pressed hard against the nub of flesh briefly; earning a breathless moan of pure lust from the ex-guitarist beneath him.  Growling possessively, Manson gripped Twiggy’s hips in merciless hands as his tongue continued to brush the small bundle of nerves within the man.  “A-ah!  Oh ffffuck, oh jesus fuck.  P-please Mare, j-just take me already,” Twiggy begged breathlessly as he writhed beneath Manson.

The singer pulled his tongue out of Twiggy, licking his black lipsticked lips as he crawled over the panting man.  Twiggy reached for him with shaky hands, leaning up to kiss Manson with all the passion he currently felt as he wrapped his legs around the performer’s waist.  Manson’s tongue tangled with Jeordie’s as he rubbed his leaking tip against the ex-guitarist’s still damp entrance.  Growling into Twiggy’s mouth, Manson moved forward; hilting himself inside the other man in one swift move.  “Ah fuck me,” Twiggy gasped out, breaking the kiss as his nails raked down Manson’s pale back.

“I believe that was the idea,” Manson growled, beginning to move inside Jeordie’s now writhing body.

“Mmmmnnn just like that Mare,” he gasped out, arching his back as Manson thrust inside him.

Manson panted through gritted teeth as he sat on his knees while thrusting into the gasping man below him.  Each stroke of his rock hard member inside Jeordie caused a shiver of delight to go through the ex-guitarist.  “Fffuck Jeordie.  You’re so damn tight,” he grunted through gritted teeth as he grasped onto the other man’s hips and pulled out until his purple head rested on the outside of Twiggy’s slightly pulsing pucker.

“D-don’t you fucking stop Manson!” Twiggy snarled, trying to press back against Manson’s hard length.

“Impatient as always,” the singer purred, slowly thrusting into Jeordie; drawing out a low, long moan of pleasure from the man.

As soon as he was fully hilted, Manson pulled out slowly only to thrust back in just as slowly; earning another heated moan of passion from Twiggy.  With a grin, Manson began to thrust slowly in and out of Jeordie; earning a loud moan every time he thrust in.  Soon Manson was fairly pounding into the near screaming Jeordie, grunts coming from between gritted teeth every time he thrust.  “B-Bri, oh fuck, I’m c-cumming,” Jeordie gasped out, his nails scratching welts down Manson’s pale back.

“Rngh,” was Manson’s only response as he kept thrusting in and out of Twiggy’s tight, pulsing passage.

“Oh fuck, oh ffuck, Brian!” Jeordie screamed out going stiff as long strings of white cum exploded from his throbbing member.

“Raven,” Manson hissed as his body went stiff as he spilled himself inside Jeordie.

Instead of being angry at the singer for calling out someone else’s name during orgasm, Twiggy merely gave Manson a gentle kiss.  Still recovering from his orgasm, Manson smiled down at the ex-guitarist.  “Thanks Jeordie,” Manson whispered softly, giving the other man a gentle hug.

“Any time Mare,” Jeordie responded, meaning it.  He didn’t mind one bit that the singer had called for Raven, had even expected it.  He had no illusions about his position in the singer’s life but didn’t care.  He only wanted to offer Manson a safe out for all his sexual urges.

“I wish I could offer you more,” Manson murmured sincerely, rolling to lay beside Twiggy.

“Shhh, its okay Mare.  I’m just happy that you’re happy,” Twiggy responded, gently cupping Manson’s make-up covered face.

“I can’t wait until you meet Raven,” Manson replied, wrapping an arm around the ex-guitarist.

“Neither can I.  She must be one incredible woman,” Jeordie replied, smiling contently at the singer.

Raven dressed in her usual attire, a Marilyn Manson t-shirt and black jeans.  She stood looking at her bedroom door with a fair amount of trepidation.  Her entire body tingled with anticipation of seeing Johnny so soon after the odd events of the morning.  Taking in a deep breath and squaring her shoulders, the black haired woman opened her door.  Just outside, on the right side of the door, leaning against the wall stood Johnny; still dressed as Raoul Duke.  A wisp of  smoke rose from the cigarette sitting delicately in the holder as he slid it over to the other side of his mouth.   “Er, hey Johnny,” Raven greeted nervously, earning a startled jerk of his hat covered head.

“Johnny?  Who’re ya callin’ Johnny?” he mumbled in his Raoul voice, swaying on his feet slightly.

Raven blinked a bit in confusion before it hit her, he was entirely in character right now.  He’d probably go so far as to only respond to the name Raoul right now.  “Sorry, mistook you for another friend of mine.  You two look a lot alike after all,” Raven replied, slipping into a sort of character of her own.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ve heard that before.  Come on!  Lets get you fed,” he responded jovially, moving to her side and pulling her close with one arm.  Then he began to gently steer them toward the kitchen.

Once Raven had eaten, ‘Raoul’ handed her a large pair of green tinted aviator sunglasses.  “What are these for?” she asked curiously, twirling them around in her right hand.

“For going out of course!  I’ve been dying to explore this city with you, show you the savage nature of man himself,” ‘Raoul’ announced happily, taking a drag from his cigarette.

“Of course.  Are we going to be consuming illegal substances on this venture?” Raven asked hesitantly, her head darting up to look around for Amanda.  Said curly haired female was standing in the kitchen, sipping her coffee.

“Do you even have to ask?” he replied, a delicate brow shooting up incredulously as he slid what looked like a sheet of stamps across the table to her.  The image of the actual Hunter S. Thompson was printed across the entire sheet.

“How did…?  You know what, I don’t wanna know,” Raven sighed, shaking her head and closing her eyes.

“Mmmm with your tolerance I would suggest only taking two.  I also have some Ether down in the car as well as some Mescaline,” he announced, taking another sheet of the strange stamps out of his pocket.

“John, er, Raoul don’t you think this is going a bit too far?” Raven asked, looking down at the sheet in front of her.

“Of course not!  I’d dare say I’m not taking it far enough!  Since its your first time I thought I’d take it easy on you,” the ‘journalist’ quipped, tapping his cigarette into a glass ashtray that was on the table.

“Ugh, Amanda what do you have to say about this?” Raven asked, looking at the neutral woman.  Amanda smiled at Raven, taking another slow sip of her coffee.

“I’d say go for it.  ‘Raoul’ there seems to know what he’s doing and you’ve always been curious about trying these drugs,” Amanda responded, smirking at her non-plused friend.  From the look on Raven’s face the other woman hadn’t expected her response.

“Wh-what?” Raven squeaked out, utterly confused.  In a thousand years she never would have expected such a nonchalant response from her best friend about the use of illegal substances.

“You heard her!  Take your medicine and let’s be on our way,” ‘Raoul’ groused, waving at her impatiently.

Looking helplessly at the two people, Raven reluctantly tore off two squares of the sheet and stuck them in her mouth.  To her surprise the only taste she got was the taste of paper slowly dissolving in her saliva.  “How long do I have?” she asked nervously once she had swallowed the small wads of paper.

“Oh roughly a half hour,” “Raoul’ replied with a grin, putting the cigarette holder back in his mouth.  Then he grabbed her hand, tugging gently as he got to his feet.

Sighing, Raven reluctantly put on her sunglasses as she got to her feet.  ‘Raoul’ grinned at her in such a way that she couldn’t help but return it.  “Don’t worry, we’re going to have fun!  And maybe, just maybe we’ll discover the ‘American Dream’ along the way,” he announced in a stereotypical adventurer voice as he led her out the door.

Amanda observed the pair until the door closed, sighing as she took another sip of her coffee.  While Raven was changing, Johnny had broken character long enough to tell her his plan.  He had given a very long, well documented explanation of the drugs he was about to introduce to Raven and asked for her permission to do so.  She had agreed mostly because she knew that doing this odd scenario was one of Raven’s biggest dreams.

Amanda didn’t pretend to understand the movie ‘Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas’ but she knew it was one of Raven’s favorites to watch.  She had never understood her friend’s curiosity about drugs either, not wanting to ever do them herself.  Yet she had always tried to give Raven a safe environment to experiment in, just as long as she didn’t bring in shit like cocaine, meth or heroin.  She even knew about Raven’s occasional use of cough medicine to get high but never said anything.  She knew that Raven went out of her way to do it when she thought she was asleep.

Feeling a bit of worry beginning to blossom in her stomach, Amanda looked down at her phone.  Right before he had left, Ginger had insisted on exchanging numbers ‘just in case she needed someone to talk to’.  Smiling softly, the curly haired female flipped open the blue phone that had a Superman decal on the front of it and pressed the contact number on the screen.  “A-Amanda?” came a breathless, nervous voice from the other end.

“Hey Ging!  How’ve you been during this huge mess?” Amanda asked gently, smiling at how nervous he sounded.  He sounded so adorable that she wanted to hug him.

“W-well, it hasn’t been any worse than the norm really,” he answered, smiling as he moved away from his bandmates.  Pogo was grinning widely at him, wiggling his eyebrows lewdly.  Ginger flipped off the keyboardist, earning a throaty laugh as he moved towards the back of the tour bus.

“The reason I called was, well, er… did you want to go out when you get here?” she asked, suddenly feeling nervous as a light blush colored her pale cheeks.

“O-of course!  I would love to!  I have just the place!” the drummer gushed excitedly, sounding as if she had just made his day.

The LSD was just beginning to kick in as they pulled up outside Bazooko’s Circus.  Raven found herself being tugged out of the rented red convertible and an ether soaked, american flag bandana being shoved into her hand.  “Hold it up against your face and inhale,” ‘Raoul’ instructed gently, pulling her to a hidden corner.

“Are you sure bout this?” Raven slurred, looking at the odd smelling rag with a fair amount of hesitation.  Her world was already bending and warping around her, she wasn’t too sure about mixing another substance on top of this.

“Hurry, before it evaporates woman!” he urged, shoving the hand hold the rag toward her mouth gently.

Closing her eyes, Raven opened her mouth and inhaled the horrible smelling fumes.  Almost immediately she felt light-headed and dizzy, stumbling on her feet a bit even though she hadn’t moved.  “There ya go,” he purred, gently taking the rag from her hand and pressing it to his own mouth.  Then he began to steer them in a stumbling line towards the entrance of the building.

After a few moments of a blur of noise and spinning, Raven found herself inside the worst place to be on acid.  People dressed in odd costumes twisted in the air over her head, seeming to almost teleport from place to place.  Only ‘Raoul’s’ gentle, guiding arm around her waist kept her from stumbling into people.  Her focus was more on the magical people twisting in the air above her than the crowd around her.  Unfortunately his grip slipped for a second and she bumped into a really tall, very pissed off man.  “What the fuck?!” the man snarled, whirling around and glaring at the very dazed looking Raven.

“Woah, hey!  Don’t mind her my man!  She’s just a bit drunk.  First time in Las Vegas,” ‘Raoul’ explained smoothly, slipping between the man and Raven.  He reached behind himself, gripping her hand into his and holding tightly.

“You better keep a better eye on your slut,” the burly man hissed, before turning his back on the oddly dressed ‘journalist’.

‘Raoul’ blinked, his hand tightening on Raven’s slightly as rage began to bubble through the drugs flowing through his system.  With his free hand he poked firmly at the much larger man’s back, causing the other man to turn his head slightly to look at him.  “Excuse me friend, would you care to repeat that?  I didn’t quite catch what you called my lady friend here,” ‘Raoul’ chuckled, his voice full of false joviality.

“Then I’ll say it louder.  Keep a closer eye on your slut,” the man growled, enunciating each word in the last sentence carefully.

‘Raoul’ visibly bristled, his posture going from relaxed to aggressive in a second.  If Raven had been capable of thought she would have sworn Johnny was actually channeling Hunter S. Thompson in that moment.  “You fucking swine,” he hissed, releasing her hand to cock back a fist.

Raven took that moment to follow a dancing light only she could see, drawing ‘Raoul’s’ attention to her instead of the towering asshole.  “Ah fuck, Raven get back here,” he exclaimed, jogging after the dazed woman.

After a lot of wrangling, ‘Raoul’ managed to get Raven to the huge spinning carousel in the middle of the building.  Raven was staring at nothing as she sat at one of the tables and the ‘journalist’ across from her watched her closely.  He had opted to stay sober to keep a better eye on Raven, who appeared to be having a great time so far.

A few hours of weirdness later, Raven finally came down enough to allow ‘Raoul’ to drive her back to the apartment.  “You did great today!  Handled it like a pro!  We’ll have to step it up for tomorrow!” he chirped as he sped off towards the hotel.

“S-step it up?” Raven whimpered, suddenly feeling very nervous about tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: ‘We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold.’ - Raoul Duke


	15. One Toke Over the Line

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning!!: Illegal drug use.
> 
> Disclaimer: 'Devour' belongs to Marilyn Manson

Raven awoke in her bed after a night she couldn’t really remember.  All she knew for sure was that, instead of taking her home after Bazooko’s Circus, Johnny had stuffed some mescaline pills down her throat and they had driven off.  Groaning, Raven sat up; rubbing her sandpaper tongue against the dry rug of the roof of her mouth.  There was a faint taste of vomit in the back of her throat, making her swallow reflexively.

As she tried to get out of bed, a very male arm wrapped around her t-shirt covered waist.  Freezing in place as her face went a deep crimson, Raven turned very slowly to see Johnny fast asleep next to her.  He was nestled in as close to her as her could get, only dressed in a pair of loosed sleeping pants.  “Oh fuck noodles,” Raven hissed, a mixture of mortification and arousal rising within her.

Desperately hoping they only snuggled all night, Raven gently pulled free.  Once she was free of both the sheets and Johnny, she took a careful assessment of herself.  She wasn’t sore and still wore her undergarments.  With a sigh of relief, Raven tiptoed into her bathroom.  She turned on the faucet, cupping her hands under the icy stream and slurping it up from the cupped appendages.  When she had relieved her thirst enough to withstand getting dressed, Raven left the bathroom and was greeted with the sight of Johnny sitting up in bed.

The half asleep actor was looking around with a sort of half asleep panic as he tried to figure out where she had gone.  Finally his brown eyes found her form and a relieved smile appeared on his face.  His growing goatee now had a few days growth to it, making it look a bit thicker and Raven couldn’t help but notice as well as subconsciously approve.

When his unfocused eyes finally found her, relief filled his lithe frame.  “Raven, I thought you had run away for a second,” he murmured softly, getting out of bed slowly.

“Nah, I was just thirsty.  Not to mention it was kinda awkward to wake up in bed next to you,” she replied quietly, digging in her dresser for some clothes.

“I’ll, um, let you get dressed,” the actor replied quietly, leaving the room as quickly as he could.

Sharing the actor’s discomfiture, Raven pulled on a black t-shirt as well as a pair of black jeans before leaving the room as well.  As soon as she entered the main area of the suite, she noticed Amanda sitting at the table and Johnny sitting on the couch.  Flushing a bit at the awkwardness of having spent a night in bed with the handsome actor, Raven skittered into the kitchen and got herself a ‘Red Pop’.

Opting to sit by Amanda, Raven twisted off the top of her soda and took a long drink from the bottle.  Amanda smirked at the nervous female over her Superman mug.  “So, did you two have fun last night?” Amanda asked teasingly, taking a small sip of her black coffee.  Raven nearly spat out her mouthful of soda, swallowing the fizzy fluid instead and coughing slightly when her mouth was finally clear.

“Wh-what?  We did nothing!” Raven coughed out, resting a hand over her racing heart.  Amanda only laughed before shaking her head.

“I know.  Johnny carried you in at 3 a.m. last night.  He was acting… different when he came in but I didn’t think anything of it.  He put you to bed and just never left your room,” Amanda replied, resting her hand gently over Raven’s right hand.

Raven sighed in relief, relaxing slightly at the knowledge that her suspicions were confirmed.  “Well, at least there’s that,” Raven murmured softly, taking another sip of her soda.  A sudden dark shadow over her made her jump slightly as she looked up to see Johnny looking down at her sadly.

“Do you really think so little of me to assume I would take advantage of the state you were in?” he asked quietly, an odd tenseness to his voice.

“No!  Of course not!  I was more worried  I had done something,” Raven confessed, meeting his troubled, brown eyes.

“Even if you had tried, I would have simply refused,” he assured gently, kneeling down so he could look straight into her hazel eyes.

“Huh, that hadn’t occurred to me,” Raven replied with a small smile, hugging Johnny around his neck.

Johnny closed his brown eyes, his arms coming up to wrap around Raven’s waist.  “Raven, you’re very important to me.  All I want is your happiness.  I would never do anything to hurt you if I can possibly help it,” he whispered, his baritone voice thick with emotion as he gently nuzzled her neck.  He gave her neck a small kiss before he pulled away with a smile.

“Now, I have some things planned for us today.  I’m going to get ready, you eat something,” he announced boisterously, cupping her cheek before he trotted off to his room.

Raven stared after the actor, a dazed look on her face and a light blush coloring her pale cheeks as her bandaged left hand rested over the place where he had touched her.  “I think he  likes you,” Amanda teased gently, elbowing Raven in the ribs.

“That’s the problem,” Raven whispered, a look of concern beginning to knit her brow.

“How on  Earth is a gorgeous guy like  him liking you a problem in  any way!” the curly haired female responded loudly, astonishment in her voice.  She looked at her friend with a mixture of disbelief and exasperation.  She would gladly swap spaces with the other female in a heartbeat!

“Because I’m already in a relationship, as odd as it is, with Marilyn Manson.  What makes it worse is I’m starting to develop feelings for Johnny too,” Raven replied quietly, lowering her head shamefully.

“So dump that ass and get with Johnny!  Johnny would treat you so much better than that fuckwad  ever could,” Amanda urged, resting her hand on top of Raven’s right hand again.  Raven looked at her with such a harsh look that she immediately removed her hand, recoiling away from her long time friend.

“How  dare  you.  When I get in a relationship, its because I intend to be with that person for my entire life!  I would  never toss Manson aside like that!   Never !!  Do you have any  idea  what that what  do to him, to  me ?!  Not to mention what it would do to Johnny!” Raven hissed angrily, getting to her feet slowly while glowering down at Amanda.  If looks could kill, Amanda would have been reduced to a smoking pile of ashes.

Raven moved to the couch, taking an angry chug from her bottle of soda as she sat down.  Amanda followed soon after, cautiously sitting next to the black haired female.  “I’m sorry Raven, I was out of line,” she whispered, not quite daring to look at her friend.  Raven only snorted derisively in reply, getting up to go to the kitchen.

She wasn’t particularly hungry, she just wanted to put distance between herself and Amanda.  She was afraid that if she stayed near the other woman for much longer she would punch her dear friend.  Sighing, Raven rummaged around in the cupboards for a bit before pulling out a bowl and can of ravioli.  At the sight of the food her stomach came alive with a loud grumble causing a light blush to color her pale cheeks.  Clearing her throat in embarrassment, Raven popped the canned concoction into the microwave for three minutes.  “Sounds like you were hungry after last night,” came a baritone purr from behind her, causing Raven to jump slightly.

The black haired female whirled around to see ‘Raoul’ smiling at her with a full cigarette holder in his mouth.  Today he was wearing a red hawaiian shirt that hung open to reveal a white tank top, white shorts, a white sun hat, orange tinted aviator sunglasses and white converse sneakers.  He took a slow drag off his cigarette, blowing the smoke off to the side before giving her cheek a gentle kiss.  “J- er Raoul!  Wha?!” Raven responded, a deep blush appearing on his cheeks.

“What?  I’m not allowed to kiss my gal?” he chuckled, pulling her close and grinning at her.

“I, wha, buh, what?!” Raven squeaked out, her hazel eyes going wide as both flusterment and arousal exploded inside of her.

“Aw c’mon, I’m just jerking your chain,” ‘Raoul’ laughed, releasing her and going to the table.

Raven couldn’t help but heave a sigh of relief as she tried to slow down her heart.  For a moment she had thought Johnny was being serious.  Once her heart had stopped trying to beat its way out of her chest, she took a shaky drink of her soda.  A loud beep from the microwave caused her to nearly jump out of her skin.  Clutching the black material of her shirt over her racing heart, Raven whirled around and growled at the unassuming appliance.

‘Raoul’ chuckled at the unbalanced female, twirling his red cigarette holder in his fingers.  He had purely done what he had to see what her reaction would be and he hadn’t been disappointed.  She would be thrown off balance all day but he had to admit that she was just adorable when flustered.

Raven grabbed the steaming bowl with a hot pad, looking at the table ‘Raoul’ sat up with a fair amount of apprehension.  “Well, come on,” he coaxed gently, patting the chair beside him.  Taking a deep breath, Raven moved over to the table and sat down.  ‘Raoul’ kept smiling at her as she ate, occasionally taking drags of the cigarette in the holder.

Once she had finished eating, the ‘journalist’ slid her a few odd looking pills across the table.  “Ugh, is there any way I can get out of taking those?” she asked quietly, placing a hand on her head.

“Mmmmm, nope!” he exclaimed excitedly, with a quick shake of his head.

Making an odd whimpering noise, Raven took the brown matter containing capsules with a swallow of ‘Red Pop’.  As soon as they were down ‘Raoul’ slid a strange sheet of stamps across the table.  This time the picture on the stamps was of Scooby-Doo.  “Oooooh no!  I had enough of a weird time yesterday!  Hell, I don’t even  remember yesterday!” Raven exclaimed, sliding the sheet back towards him.

“Now, now.  You’ll be perfectly safe.  This sheet of blotter is a bit weaker than the one from yesterday to compensate,” ‘Raoul’ encouraged, pushing the sheet back towards her insistently.

“And you’ll probably make my day a living hell if I don’t take some,” Raven grumbled, running a hand through her shoulder length black hair.

“Sounds like me doesn’t it,” he quipped, grinning around the cigarette holder in his mouth.

“And you probably wholeheartedly encourage this, don’t you Amanda,” Raven sighed, plunking her head down onto the table.  Her head made a hollow thumping noise as it hit the table.

Still shaken from the earlier disagreement, Amanda looked at Raven over the back of the couch in shock.  It took her a few moments to absorb what had been said and a teasing smile curled her lips.  “Of  course I do!” Amanda exclaimed excitedly.

Raven could only shake her head while it still rested on the table, a small grin appearing on her lips.  As much as she was protesting, she was actually excited to see where today would take her.  With gentle fingers, the black haired female tore off a couple squares from the sheet and put them in her mouth.

Manson was absolutely thrilled, they were ahead of schedule and by the looks of it they would be in Vegas by that night.  He was so excited to see Raven after such a long separation he wanted to sprout wings and fly the rest of the way.  “Can’t you drive any faster?” he snarled to the driver.

“Sorry Marilyn, I am doin’ the best I can,” Time responded, a patient grin on his red painted lips.

Manson wasn’t the only one on the edge of his seat either.  Ginger was pacing impatiently, nearly driving the other band members insane.  “Fucking love birds,” Pogo grumbled with a good natured grin on his pale face.

“Oh fuck off Madonna,” Ginger growled, running a hand through his chin length, bleach blonde hair.  The drummer was uncharacteristically short with his fellow bandmates due to his nervousness.  This would be his first date with Amanda and he hoped against hope that what he chose was something she would enjoy.

“Hey, take it easy Ging.  I’m just playin’,” Pogo replied, coming up behind the drummer and putting a gentle hand on his back.

“I know.  I’m just so nervous man!  I’ve never felt this way about anyone before,” Ginger sighed, putting his head in his hands.

“I know how you feel Ginger,” Manson whispered, coming up beside the drummer and putting a tattooed arm around Ginger’s shoulders.

Ginger nearly jumped out of his skin when Manson placed his arm around him.  The singer had  never offered comfort to any of them before, especially him.  The drummer was used to being the band’s whipping boy, calmly accepting all the abuse thrown at him with no complaint.  So it was no surprise that the usually abusive singer’s behavior had thrown him for a loop.  “Uh, thanks,” Ginger murmured, half sincere and half scared out of his mind.

“At least you taking Amanda out will give Raven and I some much needed privacy,” Manson stated with a smirk, pulling away from the pale drummer.

There was the Manson he was familiar with!  Laughing and rolling his brown eyes, Ginger shook his head.  “Have something special planned?” Giger inquired, quirking a blonde brow.

“Actually, I do.  It seems Raven may have inspired a new album already.  I wrote a few songs for her last night.  I plan on singing her one after dinner,” he replied, his mismatched eyes sparkling with excitement.

People kept morphing into strange animals and weird colors swirled around her as her world tipped and swayed.  The ground and walls seemed to almost be melting around her as someone she almost didn’t recognize led her into a huge, open room filled with dancing people.  Lights of many colors bounced around the room as a band played on a raised platform near the back.  Questions formed in her mind but refused to leave her mouth correctly as she was lead in a stumbling line towards a table.

In a sudden time skip, Raven found herself sitting down with what looked like food on a plate in front of her.  With the way things kept morphing and twisting around her she couldn’t be sure.  The music was just a jumbled mess of noise to her ears when in reality it was a band playing a cover of Jefferson Airplane’s ‘Somebody to Love’.  The familiar stranger across from her was gently guiding her hands to the supposed food in front of her, a strange garbled voice murmuring nonsense as he did so.  Sensing she was supposed to eat whatever it was she was holding, Raven took a bite; grimacing as a flood of unfamiliar flavors filled her mouth.

The next thing she knew she was in the middle of the dance floor with her odd companion.  He seemed personable enough, didn’t even leave her side for one moment.  Not letting herself be concerned with such things, Raven began to ‘dance’.  In reality she was just kinda flailing around under the close watch of ‘Raoul’.

Another jump and she was heaving into the toilet, whatever she ate earlier making an encore appearance.  A soothing male voice came from behind her as another wave was forced out of her heaving stomach.  Finally it was over and a gentle hand was wiping something from her chin with a paper towel.  She was gently helped to her feet as the white room titled around her.

She was led in halting steps toward what looked like sinks but were horribly wrong.  They almost seemed to be melting to the floor as she got closer.  The faucet was turned on, spewing forth a rush of icy water that almost burned her skin to touch.  A gentle hand is scooping water up to her dry mouth and she drinks it mindlessly, gratefully.

Another jump and she’s back in the suite, being forced to sit down on the couch.  A strange but familiar woman sits by her as her odd male companion fetches her a glass of water.  Taking a sip, Raven smiled up at the two people.  She wanted to tell them just how grateful she was for them taking care of her but the words wouldn’t come out right.  Whatever she said got a confused smile from her two companions and she shrugged.  Maybe she was coming down a bit but the world had stopped twisted morphing and melting around her.  She was even beginning to recognize the two people watching her so closely.  A sudden knock startled all of them, even causing Raven to jump to her feet unsteadily.

As ‘Raoul’ tried to coax Raven to sit back down, Amanda cautiously went to the door.  Almost afraid to open it, she peered through the peephole first, confused by what she saw.  “Uh, bad news Johnny.  Manson’s back early,” Amanda whispered, backing away from the door slightly.

“Fuck!” Johnny swore, breaking character entirely.  There was no telling what Manson would do to him if he saw Raven in this condition.  Another, more impatient knock, drew both of their attention back to the door.  Sooner or later they would have to open it.

Taking in a deep, steadying breath, Amanda unlocked the door and slowly opened it.  She opened her mouth to greet the group but was shoved rudely aside by Manson as he rushed into the suite.  Noticing Ginger was about to hug her, the curly haired female waved him off; looking at Manson with concern.  “We better batten down the hatches gentlemen.  Things are about to get ugly,” she whispered, beginning to back out of the suite.

“Why, what happened?” Ginger asked, fear beginning to come into his brown eyes.

“Johnny gave Raven a couple psychedelics and she’s still a bit high,” Amanda answered, not encouraged by the horrified looks from the band members.

“What the  fuck is wrong with her?!” came a furious yell from inside, making all of them wince in fear.

“Well, since its only 6 p.m. how would you feel about going on our date now?” Ginger asked, looking inside the still open suite with fear.

“Sounds like an excellent idea,” Amanda concurred, hurrying to the elevator with the others close on her heels.

Raven stared up at the two fuming males, desperately trying to make out what they were saying around the audio distortions.  The other man that had just come in seemed very angry at her odd companion for reasons she couldn’t comprehend.  The anger only seemed to be aggravated by her inability to speak or recognize the newcomer.

Johnny backed away from the fuming rockstar, pulling off his sunglasses and taking his cigarette holder from his mouth.  “I gave her some psychedelics.  She’ll be down soon,” the actor assured, beginning to move towards the still open door.

Manson’s mismatched eyes flashed dangerously as he noticed Johnny moving to escape.  “Did she consent to this?” he hissed, his hands tightening into fists as he stood near Raven.  As much as he wanted to punch Johnny right now, the singer was reluctant to leave the female’s side.

“Yes, I wouldn’t just shove shit down her throat for fuck’s sake,” Johnny growled, still moving towards the door.  Manson only snorted in response, sitting on the couch next to Raven and gently taking her into his arms.

“How much longer?” he asked quietly, his voice still thick with rage.

“I’d give her another hour before she’s entirely down,” the actor responded, beginning to back out of the door of the suite.  Once he had made it out, he slowly closed the door before practically running to the elevator.  Thankfully the others were still waiting, giving him safety in numbers in case Manson decided to give chase.

“That was  supremely dumb of you,” Pogo chuckled, flinging a chummy arm around Johnny’s hawaiian shirt clad shoulders.

Rolling his brown eyes, Johnny back out of Pogo’s embrace, bumping into a slightly angry looking Tim.  Even Ginger seemed to be glaring at him slightly.  “What?!  I didn’t force anything on to her!” Johnny exclaimed just as the elevator dinged open to reveal an old couple.  The mortified actor and the couple locked gazes for several long moments, awkward silence stretching between them as the door slowly slid shut again.

“Aw man you got the worst luck,” Pogo laughed, leaning on Johnny jovially.

“Just fuck off,” Johnny grumbled, glaring at the carpet as a blush colored his pale cheeks.

“Wanna come drinking with us?” John offered, looking off into space neutrally.

“Why not, my night is shot anyway,” the star replied with a sigh as the next elevator dinged open.

As Raven came back to Earth, she found herself wrapped in a pair of very familiar, black clad arms.  A warm, familiar scent filled her nostrils and she snuggled closer to the source with a content sigh.  The person holding her smelled of musk, sandalwood and something sharply electric.  With a lazy smile, she opened her eyes slowly to look at who was holding her.

Her eyes immediately snapped wide open and her entire body went rigid as she realized just whose lap she was so comfortably ensconced in.  A pair of mismatched eyes gazed warmly down at her, a gentle smile on a pair of black lips.  Convince this was just another of her hallucinations from earlier, Raven closed her eyes shut, counted to ten and opened them.  “M-marilyn?” she whispered in disbelief, reaching up with a shaky hand.

She stopped just inches from touching his painted skin, afraid that if she touched him he would simply disappear.  He reached out with one hand and gently, but firmly forced her hand to meet his make-up coated cheek.  “I got back early,” he whispered in a gruff voice, leaning his face into her touch as he held her hand to his cheek.

Tears filled her hazel eyes as happiness rose in a thick lump in her throat.  With a wordless cry of sheer happiness, Raven flung her arms around Manson and began to sob.  Her tears weren’t of sadness but of pure, unadulterated happiness.  As she wept into the material of his black shirt, the singer closed his mismatched eyes and wrapped his arms around her in return.  “Oh god!  I missed you so much,” she gasped out, nuzzled his neck as she pressed herself as close to him as she could get.

“Shhh, I’m here now,” he murmured soothingly, gently pushing her back to better look her in the eyes.  Raven smiled up at him, happiness and loved shining merrily in her hazel eyes.

“I missed you too,” he whispered, his voice heavy with emotion as he brushed her lips briefly with his own.

Raven responded by throwing her arms back around his neck with a needy whimper as she kissed him.  Her tongue licked at his lips briefly, plunging in when he opened to her.  As their tongue wrestled, Raven’s hands tightened on his shirt covered back.  After what seemed like an endless time, Manson broke the kiss with a breathless groan.  “Mmmm, Raven you have no idea what you’re doing to me,” he panted out, shifting uncomfortably.  The reason for his discomfort was made obvious by the outline of his erection in his tight pants.

Raven blushed a bit at the sight of the effect she had on the singer.  She felt a huge spike in her confidence, smiling up at Manson as she cupped his cheek again.  “I can take care of that if you want,” she purred in her best seductive voice, earning a shudder from the singer next to her.

“I doubt you’d be willing to take care of it in the way I want,” he groaned, his hands twitching slightly on his thighs.  The sheer amount of need in his voice made Raven squirm with arousal and flusterment.

“Did I do that bad a job?” she asked quietly, avoiding his gaze as she began to twist the hem of her shirt.  A gentle hand grabbed her chin, guiding her head back to face him.

“No, of course not.  I enjoyed it immensely.  I would just prefer to enjoy the rest of you,” he purred, his voice thick and gruff with lust.

Raven blushed a deep crimson but couldn’t help the shy smile that curled her lips.  Manson’s mere words had sent an arrow of need right to her womanhood, making her fairly ache for him to take her.  “You have no idea just how much I want to give myself to you,” she whispered, lust making her voice rough.

Manson’s mismatched orbs slipped shut as a shudder ran through his thin frame.  “When you finally let me, I can assure you that you won’t regret it,” he growled in a shaky voice.  Opening his eyes again, he gently took her bandaged hand in his, placing a loving kiss on top of the band-aid on top of her wrist.

Raven shuddered, a helpless moan escaping her lips.  “W-well you might.  I mean, I’m a virgin and not much to look at,” she whispered, lowering her head in shame. Once again his hand jerked her head up to look at him, his mismatched eyes burning with emotion.

“I was going to save this as a surprise for later, but I think you need to hear it now,” he whispered, an odd firmness in his eyes.

Raven looked at him with confusion as he got to his feet.  Then he was gently pulling on her hand, encouraging her to join him.  Blinking, Raven got to her feet, wondering what it was Manson was going to do.  “I'll swallow up all of you like a big bottle of big, big pills,” he sang out softly, looking her in the eyes.

Raven looked at him with a mixture of confusion and wonder.  This was a song she hadn’t heard before.  Had he just written it?  “You’re the one that I should never take but I can’t sleep until I devour you,” he continued, his voice full of emotion as he gently held her hands in his.

“I can’t sleep until I devour you,” he repeated with more conviction, locking his eyes with hers.  Wonder filled Raven’s eyes as she listened.  She didn’t dare believe it but it almost seemed as if he had written the song for her.

“You’re a flower that’s withering.  I can’t feel your thorns in my head,” he whispered, his voice full of loneliness and longing as he rested his forehead against hers.

“This is no impressionability.  You’re not crying, this is blood all over me.  You’re not crying, this is blood all over me.  You’re not crying, this is blood all over me,” he sang out, each line sounding more desperate and alone.

“And I’ll love you, if you let me,” he whispered tenderly, giving her a brief kiss.

“And I’ll love you, if you won’t make me starve,” he belted out gruffly, looking her in the eyes.

Raven gazed back, her breath caught in her throat.  Was he saying what she thought he was?  “I used to hold your heart to neck,” he whispered, still holding her gaze with his.

“I know I’ll miss you if I close my eyes,” he murmured sincerely, giving her another brief kiss.

“But this is loaded with an open film.  I’ll see you and I’ll blow your heart to pieces,” he whispered apologetically, looking her in the eyes again.

“I will blow your heart to pieces.  I will blow your heart to pieces.  I will blow your heart to pieces,” he repeated, each line sounding more guilty and apologetic.

“And I’ll love you, if you let me,” he sang out, swaying them both gently as he began to pet her hair.

“And I’ll love you, if you won’t make me starve,” he rasped out, a desperate edge to his voice as his eyes searched hers.  Raven watched him silently, feeling sad as well as happy for everything he was telling her through song.

“My pain's not ashamed to repeat itself,” he whispered, sounding vulnerable.

“Pain’s not ashamed to repeat itself.  Pain’s not ashamed to repeat itself.  Pain’s not ashamed to repeat itself,” he whispered, sounding lost and scared as he pulled her close to him.

“I can’t sleep until I devour you.  I can’t sleep until I devour you.  I can’t sleep until I devour you.  I can’t sleep until I devour you.  I can’t sleep until I devour you,” he belted out, each line sounding more desperate and lonely than the last.

“And I’ll love you, if you let me.  And I’ll love you, if you won’t make me starve,” he whispered out, pulling back to look her in the eyes.

“Oh Marilyn,” she whispered, her voice sounding awed and touched as she looked at him with tears in her eyes.

“Will you Raven?  Will you let me love you?” he asked, sounding on the verge of breaking as he looked at her vulnerably.  He had never felt so exposed to any of his girlfriends before, so laid bare.

“Of course I will silly!  I’m in a relationship with you, remember?” she replied softly, wrapping her arms around him.

“How could I forget?” he whispered, before leaning down to give her a soul-searing kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: ‘There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge, and I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon.’ - Raoul Duke


	16. Unwanted Questions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: ‘Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever.’ - Sarah (The Crow)

Raven and Manson sat on the couch, just holding each other close as they enjoyed each other’s company.  Every now and again the singer would give her a gentle kiss and he seemed very reluctant to put any amount of distance between them.  “I’m sorry for yelling at you,” he whispered softly, pulling back to look in her eyes.

Raven went stiff, pulling away from the singer; much to his extreme displeasure.  Manson made an odd, pained noise as she put some distance between them.  He looked like he wanted nothing more than to close the distance again but allowed her to have her space.  His mismatched eyes watched her carefully as her emotions fluctuated wildly.  “Just, try not to do that again,” she whispered, shaking slightly.

“What happened to you?  Why did you have such a bad reaction?” he asked gently, his hands twitching on the couch.

Raven froze at the question, fear and apprehension beginning to fill her.  Could she open that aching wound for him?  Could she tell him about her past?  “Its mostly thanks to my father.  That’s all I’m comfortable saying for right now,” she responded quietly, staring down at the tan carpet.

Manson watched her, rage and sadness flickering in his mismatched eyes.  He wanted nothing more than to gather her into his arms and comfort her.  It tore him apart to see her suffering and not be able to offer any solace.  “Raven, I understand.  Your past is your own and you’ll explain it when you’re ready.  May I hug you?” he asked pleadingly, desperately hoping she’ll accept his request.

Feeling tears beginning to come, Raven nodded silently.  As memories began to flood her mind, she began to shake in earnest.  Her small tears began to turn into sobs as she found herself being enveloped in his arms.  With a quiet cry, Raven nestled into Manson’s chest and sobbed.  Memories of her father slammed into her mercilessly, making her jump and flinch in Manson’s arms.

Manson made soothing noises, gently petting her shoulder length, black hair.  The pure rage in his eyes was a sharp contrast to how gentle he was being.  Even though he didn’t know exactly what the man had done to Raven, he had a pretty good idea.  If he ever met the man, he would make the guy’s life a living hell.

As Raven’s sobs finally tapered off, she pulled back to meet his eyes.  The amount of sympathy and protectiveness in his eyes took her breath away.  “I’m sorry for what he did to you.  I wish I could take your pain away.  I have another question but I think I’ll wait on that one,” he whispered, kissing the crown of her head tenderly.

“I think I know what it is.  You want to know why I feel so ashamed of how I look,” she responded with a sad smile.

“You don’t have to answer,” the singer whispered, cupping her pale cheek gently.

“No, I can at least tell you  that much,” she whispered, pulling away, crossing her arms over her chest and clasping her elbows.

“A lot of it is thanks to my lovely father but some of it comes from bad relationships.  You try spending years with someone you consider your soulmate telling you everyday how much weight you should lose and see how confident you feel,” she replied quietly, avoiding his gaze as hot tears began to fill her eyes again.

“Not to mention being told you’re useless, a huge pain to put up with and a few other things,” she continued, a grimace on her face.  She could feel Manson shifting to move towards her again and held up a hand.  If he touched her right now, she was sure she would have one of her breakdowns.  Something that hadn’t happened for years.

“I’ve had two relationships before you.  The first one was only mentally abusive.  The second was both.  The last years I was with him were the worst.  If it weren’t for Amanda, I’m sure he would have killed me,” Raven whispered, closing her eyes as the tears finally spilled over and slipped down her cheeks.

Manson watched her suffer alone, anger and sadness fighting for dominance in his mismatched eyes.  His arms itched to gather her up and comfort her but he respected her need for space.  “I would never do that to you,” he whispered gently, at a loss for anything else to say.  His heart leapt in his throat when she only smiled at him sadly.

“It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve heard that but I believe you.  As much as the gossip rags like to paint you as a very violent person, I don’t think you’d ever hit your girlfriend,” she replied with a sigh, wiping the tears from her eyes as she got to her feet.

“I mean it!  I will  never hurt you like that!” Manson snarled harshly, grabbing her hands with his.

Raven’s hazel eyes met his eyes and she let out a soft gasp at what she saw there.  She could swear she saw deep love, loyalty and protectiveness swirling in the mismatched orbs.  “Raven, no... Meagan, I love you.  If I could, I would never let anything hurt you ever again,” he murmured more gently, gathering her into a loose hug.

“Oh Marilyn,” she sighed with a small grin, reaching up to kiss his make-up covered chin, “I never knew you could be so corny.”

Ginger sat across the table from Amanda, smiling at her nervously.  They sat in a casual Italian restaurant that wasn’t overly crowded.  After dinner, Ginger had arranged for something very special for the vision of loveliness across from him.  A plate of spaghetti was placed carefully down in front of him, breaking his musings.  Blushing slightly, the drummer began to eat.

Amanda watched Ginger closely, an amused grin on her face.  Since they had sat down, Ginger had been acting jumpy and had even adopted the most adorable blush.  Starting to feel a bit of shyness herself, the curly haired woman wondered if the drummer actually  liked her.  Her heart beginning to race and a light blush coloring her pale cheeks, Amanda stared down at her chicken alfredo.  Was this actually more than just dinner with a friend?

As they both ate in awkward silence, Ginger put down his silverware and cleared his throat politely to get her attention.  Amanda lifted her head, her mouth opening slightly at the depth of emotion swirling in his brown eyes.  “Amanda?” he asked softly, placing his hand lightly on top of hers.

“Y-yes Ginger?” she squeaked out, suddenly feeling off balance and flustered.  She suddenly felt too hot and it felt as if all her breath had left her body.

“I, well I er… I have a surprise for you,” he gasped out, cursing himself.  He had meant to finally tell her how he felt but when it came down to it, he was too damn afraid that she wouldn’t return his feelings.

Amanda had to fight off a sigh of relief.  It almost sounded as if he was going to confess his love for her.  What would she have done if he had?  Did she even feel the same towards him?  True, she  did feel some closeness with Ginger but she wasn’t sure it was love.  Could she have so simply broken his heart?  Would she have made a false love confession just to make him feel better?  More and more questions whirled in her head, almost making her dizzy.

Thankfully the awkwardness in her head was interrupted by the presentation of the bill.  Over which the both of them proceeded to fight.  Finally Amanda managed to yank the bill away from Ginger with a triumphant crow, earning stares from the few people around them.  Clearing her throat with an embarrassed blush, Amanda put an exact amount plus a tip inside the bill slip.  “I wanted to pay for that!” Ginger protested, reaching for the black bill fold.

“Nope!  I got this one!  You can get the next one,” Amanda replied, reaching over the table to ruffle his bleach blonde hair.

Rolling his brown eyes, Ginger got to his feet and offered his hand to Amanda.  “Come on.  Its time for that surprise I told you about,” he replied gently, helping her to her feet.  Amanda blushed again, for a much different reason, as Ginger led her out of the restaurant while still holding her hand.

Johnny ran after Pogo, trying to desperately grab ahold of the keyboardist before he destroyed the whole bar.  John 5 was dancing on the bar while Tim was trying to get him down.  The actor finally managed to grab the very drunk Pogo before he could proceed to break another table.  He had already broken three so far.

With a strained noise, the actor tried to drag the much taller man to the door.  Tim, who had finally managed to wrangle John, nodded to Johnny and helped as best as he could.  Eventually, with their combined efforts, they managed to drag the drunk and highly unruly band members out of the bar.  Unable to release Pogo due to him fighting to get back inside, Johnny looked over at Tim helplessly.  Thankfully, once John was outside he was fairly manageable.  The guitarist merely leaned against the bar’s wall, looking around blearily.  “Call a cab will you?” Johnny grunted, wrapping his arms around the front of Pogo’s shoulders to better hold him.

“And go where?  If we come back with these idiots, Manson will have our heads,” Tim sighed in his swedish accented voice, running a hand through his bleach blonde hair.

“Fuck, I don’t care!  We just have to get away from here!  You take care of the details, I’ll pay for it,” the actor hissed, barely ducking an errant elbow from the keyboardist.

With a sigh, Tim pulled out his phone and made a few calls while keeping a very close eye on John.  After he had was done, he moved to help Johnny wrangle Pogo into submission.  “I called cab and hotel.  We can stay at hotel for tonight,” Tim told Johnny, his swedish accent a bit more heavy as they both pinned Pogo against the brick front of the bar.

“Sounds good enough to me.  Is the cab on its way?” the actor panted out, using all his bodyweight to hold Pogo against the rough brick.  The mohawked keyboardist lunged against the two men, trying to get back into the bar.  A loud honk from behind them answered his question.  While Johnny held Pogo tightly against the brick, Tim led a dazed but cooperative John 5 to the cab and got him in.  Then, with the combined effort of both of them, they wrestled Pogo into the cab.  Tim had to almost sit on him to keep him from jumping back out before the taxi began to drive.

Raven put on her pair of green tinted aviator glasses, sighing at Manson’s enigmatic smile.  The man had suddenly gotten an odd look on his face before asking if she felt up to going on a date.  The thought still made her feel tingly all over but the way he was acting puzzled her.  He had been watching her every movement closely and also had a strange smirk on his lips.  It almost felt as if he was plotting something.  Shrugging off that thought, she turned to Manson and asked, “So, I heard Twiggy showed up.  What did you guys do?  Is he still around?  Did Kathy keep you company?”  She was gratified to see his self confident smirk disappear for a flustered, guilty blush.

“He, uh, he replaced the groupies and yes, he’s still around.  I imagine he’s going to stick around for a while.  As for Kathy, I kept her in my duffel for the majority of the trip.  I don’t want her to get ruined,” he answered, suddenly seeming unsure and nervous.  Raven stared at him in response, her jaw slightly open and a light blush on her cheeks.  Images from before became fresh in her mind, causing her to feel oddly aroused.

“Yes, well, that’s great!” Raven responded with a smile, giving him a gentle hug.  Manson wrapped his arms around her loosely, burrowing his nose into her black hair and inhaling.

“You’re not mad that I’m sleeping with him?” Manson asked in an incredulous voice, pulling back to look the black haired female in the eyes.

“I honestly prefer you fuck Jeordie if you’re going to be fucking anyone,” Raven answered brashly, kissing the tip of his nose.

“Hmmm, you almost sound as if you  want me to fuck Jeordie,” he purred with a teasing grin.  Her only response was to blush deeper, avoid eye contact and clear her throat as she began to move toward the door.

“Weren’t we going on our first date?” she asked in a joking manner, her voice not nearly as steady as she would like.

“Later, first I want to ask you a question.  Does the idea of me fucking Jeordie’s supple ass get you horny?” the singer rumbled, grabbing her around her waist and pulling her close.  Raven blushed heatedly, avoiding his mismatched gaze as she let out a few squeaks.

“Y-yes,” she stammered out, almost flinching when the rockstar chuckled and nuzzled her cheek affectionately.

“We’ll have to put on a show for you,” he husked out, nipping her neck tenderly before opening the suite door for her.

The pair travelled down to the lobby of the hotel in relative silence, Raven being far too flustered to even utter a word.  The implications of Manson’s words were almost enough to give her a heart attack from embarrassment.  “S-so if he’s still around, why wasn’t he with the others?” she asked curiously as they reached the large glass doors leading outside.

“Oh, he’s around,” Manson answered with a smirk as he opened one of the doors for her.  Rolling her eyes slightly at the unneeded chivalry, Raven walked through to see a jet black, sporty looking car sitting there with the engine running.  One tinted window rolled down to reveal a very amused looking Twiggy.

“About time!  I’ve been waiting down here forever!” he exclaimed cheerfully, tipping a rogueish wink towards Raven.

“Twiggy?!” Raven gasped out, her jaw dropping in astonishment.  Manson chuckled at her gently, opening the cab door to let her in.

“Why didn’t you just come in with the others?” she asked, brushing an ebony lock of her hair behind her ear as she slid in.  That question certainly seemed to take the man off balance as he went deep red and looked helplessly up at Manson.  The singer only nodded in response as he slid in the back with Raven.

“W-well, you see we didn’t exactly know how well you’d take the fact that Manson had slept with me.  We didn’t want you to see me if you had a problem with it,” he answered nervously, putting the car in gear and beginning to drive.

“Oh,” she answered, blushing a bit herself as she remembered the discussion she and Manson just had.  It seemed like she wasn’t the only one either.  A mischievous grin that she didn’t like one bit curled Manson’s black lips.

“Oh she didn’t have a problem with it at all.  In fact she seems to be strongly in support of it,” the performer purred, pulling her close and kissing a flaming cheek.

“Oh  does she now?” the ex-guitarist asked in a sing-song voice, causing her blush to deepen.

“Indeed, would you be interested in giving her a show some time?” Manson rumbled, much to his companion’s mortification.

“Gah!  I buh! Guh!” she squeaked out, trying to desperately protest around her flusterment.

“I would be up for it,” Twiggy chirped excitedly, turning his head slightly to grin at the pair.

Raven burrowed her flaming face into the black material of Manson’s shirt, earning a deep chuckle and a loving kiss on the top of her head.  When her embarrassment finally faded enough for her to talk, Raven pulled away from Manson.  “I’m not the type of person to want to just watch people have sex!” she exclaimed in a too squeaky voice.

“Never said you were sweetie!  I’m just offering to let you watch if you want.  Manson can play me like a fiddle,” Jeordie purred, chuckling at the fresh stream of squeaks from the back.

“She’s absolutely adorable Mare,” he chuckled softly, glancing into the rearview mirror at them.

Ginger sat on a park bench with Amanda, staring up at the stars as the wind rushed by them.  Amanda sighed happily, closing her eyes and just letting the peacefulness of nature unfold around her.  Crickets chirped merrily around them, almost making her forget she was in one of the biggest party cities.  “Oh thank you Ginger.  This is just what I needed after all the weirdness lately,” the curly haired female sighed, leaning her head against the drummer’s shoulder.

“I’m glad you like it.  I’m sorry for all of the oddness in your life right now.  I know you didn’t ask for it,” he murmured quietly, tightening his hand on her shoulder.

“Eh, its actually a lot better than how it could be.  To be honest, when I first met Manson I thought…  It doesn’t matter,” Amanda began to say, stopping mid-sentence.    What she had been about to say involved a lot of Raven’s painful past and she wasn’t too sure if she should talk about it.  Sighing and moving a curly, brown strand of her hair behind her ear, Amanda just looked up at the small amount of stars she was able to see.

“You thought he was going to hurt Raven,” Ginger stated neutrally, looking down at the pale woman in his arms.  Amanda avoided his glance, a light blush on her cheeks.

“She’s been hurt before,” he stated, heaving a sigh.  The drummer rubbed Amanda’s shoulder as he looked up at the twinkling stars.  He could feel her try to pull away but held her to him firmly.

“I’ve seen that type of abuse before.  I know the kind of scars it can leave.  Don’t worry,  Manson will never physically harm Raven,” the drummer sighed, turning to try to meet Amanda’s eyes.

“Yeah?  And what about mentally?!  She doesn’t need  that either,” Amanda hissed, her green eyes sparking with anger as they met Ginger’s.

“I can’t promise anything.  Manson’s been through his fair share of shit and its left him fairly damaged as well.  All I can say is he’s never felt as strongly for anyone as he does for Raven and that makes him wildly unpredictable at best.  If I had to guess, the closer they grow the more he’s going to try to push her away,” Ginger murmured, meeting her furious gaze steadily.  The fear and desperation in his chocolate orbs gave her pause.

“So I should just be okay that he’s probably going to be an all out jerk to Raven just because he loves her so much?” Amanda hissed dangerously, her hands curling into tight fists.

“Its out of both our hands now.  They’re both so entwined now, it’ll be nearly impossible to separate them without severe damage,” the drummer whispered in reply, sounding almost apologetic as he bowed his head to her.

“Fuck you Ginger!  If you knew this was going to happen, you could have fucking warned me!  Christ!  Do you have  any idea what this will  do  to Raven?!” the curly haired femme exploded, shooting to her feet as her pale hands tightened even more.  A slight wince of pain flashed across her pale face briefly as twin rivulettes of scarlett began to run through the clenched fingers of her right hand.

“I.. have an idea.  Look, this isn’t going to be easy for any of us.  The best we can do is stay by them and offer our support.  By the time I figured out just how much Manson loved Raven, it was already too late.  Can you honestly say Raven wasn’t hopelessly lost that first concert?” Ginger asked gently, avoiding her sparking, furious eyes guiltily.

Amanda glared down at the bleach blonde drummer before heaving a sigh and running her bloody right hand through her curly, brown locks.  “This is a fine fucking kettle of fish,” she hissed, flopping on the the bench next to Ginger.

“Yeah, tell me about it,” Ginger murmured sympathetically, gently grabbing her injured hand in eyes,  With a gentle but insistent grip, Ginger drug the bleeding appendage in front of his eyes.  Making a displeased noise, the drummer tenderly kissed each shallow wound caused by her nails.

“Why can’t things ever be easy?” Amanda groaned out in frustration, looking down at Ginger with sad green eyes.  Ginger’s brown eyes met hers and he smiled sadly as he gave her palm another gentle kiss.

“Because life isn’t easy,” Ginger whispered, cupping her cheek gently while smiling sadly at her.

Amanda sighed, her green eyes fluttering shut as she leaned into Ginger’s warm body.  Just for now, maybe she could forget everything and just be in the arms of a man who cared about her.  Maybe, just for now, she could pretend there was no drama in her life.  Maybe, just for a few moments, she can just be a woman.

Manson had led Raven into a rather fancy looking restaurant, earning several odd looks from the patrons.  At his request, the Maitre’d led them to a semi-hidden corner and left them with a few menus.  The singer non-chalantly picked up a menu, perusing the items as if this was just another dinner.

Raven, on the other hand, wasn’t nearly as calm.  She could literally feel the eyes of everyone in the restaurant upon them, hushed whispers rising around them.  It was fairly obvious to her that a lot of the people in her recognized Manson and, in turn, had recognized her due to association with him.  Cursing the paparazzi and trying to ignore the stares of the people around them, Raven forced herself to focus on the menu in front of her.  A sudden, gentle hand on top of hers nearly made her jump out of her skin and she jolted backward out of sheer instinct.

With a sick feeling, a flailing her arms slightly, Raven realized she had over-balanced and was heading to a swift meeting with the hardwood floor.  Closing her hazel eyes tightly, the black haired female braced for impact only to find the chair had suddenly halted in motion.  Cracking an eye open slowly, the pale woman craned her neck to see Manson gently righting the chair.  A light blush colored her cheeks as she saw the worry swirling in his mismatched eyes as he leaned down so his face was inches from hers.  “Be more careful,” he purred softly, giving her lips a brief kiss before heading back to his own seat.

Raven’s fingers ghost over her lips as her blush deepened.  Manson smiled across the table at her, making her exceedingly grateful for the sudden appearance of the waiter at her elbow.  Throwing all of her focus onto the hapless waiter, Raven ordered food she had never even heard of in a desperate attempt to distract herself from the smirking singer across from her.  In the end, all her desperation got her was some strange food and a really amused looking rockstar.  Her choices were so outlandish that the waiter gave her an odd look before leaving to put her order in.  “Is something wrong Raven?” Manson purred softly, nearly making her jump out of her skin.

“Huh?  Wha?  Oh!  Erm, n-nothing’s wrong!” she squeaked out, inwardly wincing at just how fast she said that.  Her voice sounded high pitched and scared to her ears, making her want to die of mortification.

“Hmmm, really?  Because you ordered snails, goose livers, and fish soup,” the singer purred, raising a non-brow sardonically.

Raven blushed deeply, avoiding his gaze as her mortification deepened.  Her first date with the man she had been obsessed with for years and she had completely embarrassed herself.  All she wanted to do was crawl under a rock and die.  A light chuckle and gentle hand under her chin brought her focus back to the man across from her.  “Don’t be nervous.  Just relax and have fun,” he purred softly, leaning across and giving her another brief kiss.  Raven smiled at him shyly, leaning into his touch.

Harsh whispers and hateful glares slowly pervaded the edges of her consciousness until she couldn’t ignore them anymore.  Reluctantly, Raven leaned away from Manson, glancing at the increasingly hostile room nervously.  A woman at a table not to far from them glared at her with a disturbingly intense hatred and jealousy, her red lips pursed in a thin line as she twisted her napkin.

Unnoticed by Raven, Manson’s eyes followed hers, a look of displeasure flitting briefly across his face.  A glare fixed on his make-up coated face, the imposing performer got to his feet.  Raven, unaware of the goings on across from her, was completely taken by surprise as all the murmurs went completely quiet and everyone in the restaurant seemed to be looking at something.

Blinking in confusion, Raven turned her head to see a very angry looking Manson coming towards her.  Misconstruing his anger as being towards her, Raven shrank back from the singer at first; earning a very displeased growl from the performer.  All her breath left her as she was pulled gently to her feet and a very firm arm hooked around her waist.  Unable to make sense of what was happening, Raven look up at Manson who was glaring at the other people in the restaurant as he held her tight to his side.

Before she could even open her mouth to ask what was going on, Manson’s mouth met hers in a searing, possessive kiss.  Her hazel eyes going wide with shock, Raven could only let out a gasp when he finally released her mouth.  “Now listen here!  You assholes may have seen my girlfriend’s face in some gossip rags in reference to a love triangle.  Let me make this  perfectly clear for you leeches, Raven is  not  like that one bit!  So how about you just fuck off and mind your own business!” he snarled, his mismatched eyes daring anyone to challenge him.

“M-manson!  I-its okay!  You don’t owe people like them an explanation on  my behalf,” she protested weakly, reaching up to cup his face.  Immediately his face whipped to face her, the burning look in his eyes making her gasp.

“I refuse to let  anyone think of you as a slut,” he growled softly, wrapping his arms around her tightly as he glared at their stunned audience.

“I… I…,” Raven stammered, her knees going weak from the intensity of the emotions in his mismatched orbs.

“I can only think of one way to show these asses that I love you,” he rumbled, a mischievous grin curling his black lips as he released her.

Cold fear rushed through the black clad female as she watched the singer slowly walk onto the dance floor.  He wouldn’t go  that  far, right?  She couldn’t help the desperate groan that left her as he accosted a maitre’d until they gave him a mic.  Surely he wasn’t going to…?  “This song is about just how much this woman means to me.  All of you motherfuckers can go fuck yourselves,” he snarled into the mic, making Raven sink down into her chair.

A deep blush coloring her cheeks, Raven prayed to all the Gods in Heaven that this stop.  Unfortunately he prayers went unheeded and Manson began to belt out his new song.  “I'll swallow up all of you.  Like a big bottle of big, big pills,” he sang out, earning slight gasps from the straight laced patrons.

“You're the one that I should never take but I can't sleep until I devour you,” he purred into the mic, beginning to move towards her slowly.

Raven went an even deeper shade of red, slumping in her chair so she was nearly hiding under the table.  Visions of the new headlines filled her head and she let out a desperate groan of mortification.  She wasn’t sure how the paparazzi was going to twist the story in their favor but she doubted she would like the end results.  “I can't sleep until I devour you,” he whispered in a gruff voice, something in the tone of his voice making her look at him.   
Manson’s mismatched eyes were focused solely on her and were filled with such a deep love that her breath caught in her throat.  “You're a flower that's withering.  I can't feel your thorns in my head,” he whispered softly into the mic as he continued to slowly close the distance.  Raven found her awareness shrinking to only his eyes and how his voice was caressing her gently.

“Oh Marilyn,” she whispered in a breathless voice, slowly sitting up in her chair.

“This is no impressionability.  You're not crying, this is blood all over me.  You're not crying, this is blood all over me.  You're not crying, this is blood all over me,” he whispered, his voice sounding more ragged and desperate with each repetition.  His mismatched eyes locked with her hazel ones as a silent communication passed between the pair.  In that instant, Raven knew that Manson was afraid of just how strongly he felt for her.

“And I'll love you, if you let me.  And I'll love you, if you won't make me starve,” he belted out, grabbing her hand gently and pulling her to her feet.

Raven stumbled slightly as she found herself held tightly against Manson.  Her breath hitched in her throat as he lowered his face to her ear.  “I used to hold your heart to neck.  I know I'll miss you if I close my eyes,” he husked into the mic, his hot breath tickling her sensitive ear.

A helpless shudder running through her thin frame, Raven found herself leaning on the singer heavily for support.  Chuckling gently, Manson wrapped steadying arms around her until she stood on her own feet.  “But this is loaded with an open film.  I'll see you and I'll blow your heart to pieces.  I will blow your heart to pieces.  I will blow your heart to pieces.  I will blow your heart to pieces,” Manson murmured, sounding more apologetic and lost with each repeating line.  Just as before, it felt as if he was apologizing for hurting her ahead of time.

A sad smile appearing on her lips, Raven shook her head before stopping his words with a heated kiss.  “I don’t care what hell we end up going through on this strange ride, just as long as you are with me in the end,” she whispered in a small, vulnerable voice.

“Raven…,” he whispered softly, on the verge of saying something but not quite daring.  Then he was kissing her and the gentle sound of applause surrounded them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ‘Devour’ © Marilyn Manson


	17. Spending Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: ‘So cut away my pain and use my corpse for your little games.' - Jerk by Bile

The rest of the dinner went uneventfully, Manson and Raven sitting down to a companionable dinner. Although when the waiter brought Raven’s food, her reaction was almost enough to make Manson burst out laughing. Still chuckling at her pale, nauseous expression, the singer offered to let her eat off his plate.

Only feeling slightly mortified by the repercussions of her random ordering earlier, Raven happily shared the simple spaghetti that Manson offered. As she ate, it dawned on her that the other diner’s had changed their attitude. In fact they were being treated as just another couple in a slightly crowded restaurant. Relaxing a bit, Raven looked back at Manson only to be startled by him staring directly at her.

Finding herself breathless, Raven gazed into his mismatched orbs as he kept staring at her. Reaching across the table and taking her hand gently in his, Manson gently brushed the top of her uninjured hand with his black lips. “Let’s get you home,” he purred in a voice that made her toes tingle and her insides feel wobbly.

“M-manson?” she gasped out in an unsure voice, a light blush coloring her cheeks. An unidentified emotion flashed in his eyes, making an odd hot flash race through her entire body.

“Come,” he rumbled out, gently pulling her to her feet as he got up.

Ginger and Amanda walked down a deserted side path in the park, their hands loosely entwined as they traveled in companionable silence. A sudden ring tone broke the silence, causing the drummer to fumble with the dark blue phone in his haste to answer. “Ack! Y-yes?!” he gasped into the phone, clutching the deep blue plastic.

“Hey Ging! Its just Johnny. Listen! On the insistence of Tim, we’re going to be staying at a different hotel to give Manson and Raven some privacy. I took the opportunity to set up a room for you guys as well,” the actor chirped happily. A loud crash followed by an angry yell made Ginger wince and pull the phone away from his head.

“Johnny? Was that Pogo?” Ginger groaned, fighting the urge to facepalm at the situation.

“Erm, yeah. John 5 and him got a little drunk,” Johnny answered, sounding distracted. Another loud crash made Ginger wince.

“We’ll be right there, just try to keep him from destroying the whole hotel,” the drummer hissed, rubbing the bridge of his nose as he shut his phone.

“Let me guess, we have to go save a certain actor from a group of rowdy band members?” Amanda quipped with a gentle smile, rolling her green eyes in amusement.

“Looks like. Listen, Johnny set up a room for us in the hotel they’re at. Would you be willing to stay there with me tonight?” Ginger asked shyly, avoiding her gaze as he led the way to the streets.

“Wha? Buh? Why are they staying at a different hotel?! Why would I want to stay at a different hotel?” Amanda asked shrilly, looking at Ginger with astonishment as they halted by a street corner.

Ginger waved down a cab, grinning sheepishly as he locked gazes with the woman beside him. “Well Tim sorta decided to give Manson and Raven some space and Johnny agreed. If you’d rather go back to the other hotel I can have the cab take you,” Ginger offered as a cab pulled up beside them.

Amanda sighed raggedly, running her uninjured hand through her curly, brown hair as the bleach blonde drummer opened the cab door for her. “If Manson is gonna try what I think he is, I’d much rather not be around for it,” she grumbled to herself as she slid into the back of the yellow cab.

Ginger only cleared his throat nervously as he slid in the back beside her. “I don’t think he’ll go that far but I wouldn’t put it out of the realm of possibility,” he finally responded, staring down at his black jeans covered legs.

“Can we please talk about anything other than whether or not your boss is going to pork my best friend?” Amanda begged, a slightly desperate edge to her voice.

“Well, we can try to plan how to deal with a very drunk, belligerent Pogo?” Ginger chuckled, placing a cautious hand on her knee.

“Oh God! Why did it have to be fucking Pogo!” Amanda groaned, leaning back into the black leather seat and pressing her palms against her face.

Manson’s energy had shifted to something darkly sexual during the ride home. Raven could almost swear she could feel an aura of lust around the singer as he sat in the back of the car with her. His mismatched eyes hadn’t left her once and he had one arm wrapped firmly around her waist, holding her close. Even Twiggy had sensed the difference and kept silent for the entire drive.

Feeling increasingly nervous, Raven tried to ignore the odd energy pouring from Manson. In fact she was trying to look anywhere but at him, afraid of what she would see if she locked eyes with the performer. A fact that seemed the bother her male companion quite a bit. “Raven,” came a deep growl from beside her. Going stiff at the tone of his voice, Raven swallowed loudly.

“S-sure is a nice night isn’t it Twiggy?” she asked in a far too squeaky voice.

“Raven…,” came the growl again, sounding more insistent as his arm tightened on her waist.

“So, how did you and Manson first meet?” Raven gasped out, her voice sounding almost desperate.

“Raven, look at me!” Manson hissed, his tone of voice holding no room for argument.

Raven froze in place, swallowing heavily before reluctantly turning to face Manson. the first thing that greeted her sight was his black, very tight looking, leather pants. Her mouth suddenly very dry, Raven slowly craned her head up to look the singer in the eyes. The look on his face nearly made her back away from him.

His black lips were pursed into a thin, tight line as his mismatched eyes burned a hole into her. “I want you to listen to me very closely,” he murmured, his voice gruff as he cupped her face in one hand. It was suddenly all Raven could do just to nod in response, her throat clicking dryly as she tried to swallow.

“Tonight I have every intention of showing you just how much I want you,” he growled, his voice throaty and full of lust as he gently rested his forehead against hers.

“M-manson, I can’t,” she gasped out in an unsteady voice, her hands reaching up to try to push her away from his body. Manson only growled in response, his arm tightening around her harshly.

“Just trust me. Trust me,” he growled softly, nuzzling her neck briefly before giving her pulse a slow lick.

“M-manson!” Raven gasped out, her voice slightly raspy from the arousal beginning to course through her body.

“Mmmm,” he growled against her neck, a pale hand slipping up to cup the back of her head.

“You have no idea how much I ache for you,” came a husky growl against her ear, making Raven arch into the man holding her and moan softly. Her hazel eyes slowly fluttered open as her pink tongue licked across her dry lips.

“Raven, let me show you just how much I need you,” he purred, his voice rough and throaty as one of his hands traveled up her waist to rest on her shirt covered breast.

“M-manson!” Raven gasped out, her eyes going wide as she tried to jerk out of his touch. A deep blush colored her cheeks as mortification and sheer flusterment fought for dominance with her lust for the singer. The only response she got was a throaty chuckle before he gave her cloth covered nipple a brief brush. Raven arched violently, a gasp leaving her lips at the light brush.

“So sensitive,” he purred, his lips capturing hers as the car finally pulled to a stop. The sound of a male clearing his throat finally made the kiss break. Manson pulled away from Raven reluctantly, ignoring Twiggy completely as he slid out of the car. Raven watched the singer with a mixture of incredulousness and nervousness before looking at Twiggy apologetically.

“W-would you like to come in for a bit?” she found herself asking, finding herself very reluctant to be alone with the obviously horny singer.

The dread-locked ex-bandmate only tilted his head back and let out a long bout of laughter. “Oh Raven, I would love to get to know you better but I have a feeling that Marilyn really wants some alone time with you,” Twiggy giggled, reaching back and giving her hand an encouraging squeeze.

“Don’t let him scare you. He’s just a big teddy bear under all that,” the ex-guitarist assured with a gentle grin.

The pale, black haired woman sighed nervously, giving Twiggy’s hand a brief squeeze before slowly exiting the car. “Hey Mare!” Twiggy bawled out the window, causing the singer to jerk his head toward the other man. Once Twiggy was sure he had the performer’s attention, the darker man’s face split into a perverted grin.

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” Jeordie quipped, speeding off as Manson threw something at the back of the retreating car.

As soon as the hotel room opened, a black clad rocket burst out of the door; barreling right into poor Ginger. A breathless squeak left the bleach blonde drummer as he was slammed unceremoniously into a wall by a very drunk Pogo. While poor Ginger tried to regain his breath, the mohawked keyboardist staggered to his feet and placed a palm on his forehead. Almost immediately, the keyboardist was followed by a very disheveled Johnny and Tim. While Amanda helped the still wheezing Ginger to his feet, Johnny had pounced on top of Pogo.

The actor had his arms wrapped under Pogo’s arms and locked behind the keyboardist’s head. “Tim! Help me get him back inside!” Johnny bawled out, hanging on for dear life while the keyboardist tried to buck him off. Tim, whose red lipstick was horribly smeared across his left cheek, straightened his black tux jacket and cracked his neck before launching himself at Pogo’s waist.

This succeeded in at least getting the drunken keyboardist back into the room. Before he could make another attempt at escape, Amanda helped Ginger into the room and shut the door behind her. “Welcome to the party Ging,” John 5 hissed from a corner, leaning against the beige wall.

“How much has he had to drink?” Ginger asked, sounding exasperated. The bleach blonde drummer slowly pulled away from Amanda to help wrangle the still struggling keyboardist. Pogo was currently struggling against Johnny and Tim who both used their weight to hold him against a wall.

“Way too fucking much,” Tim grunted, ducking an errant elbow from Pogo.

“Ging! Ging these bastards have cut me off!” the mohawked keyboardist protested loudly, suddenly lunging forward in a last ditch effort to free himself.

“I’d say they did the right thing,” Ginger hissed impatiently, moving to add his own weight. Pogo only chuckled and shook his head as Ginger pressed against him.

“Damn Ginger, if you wanted my dick all you had to do was tell me,” the keyboardist purred, grinding against the drummer lewdly.

“Oh please, as if anyone would want your dick,” Ginger quipped, earning a chuckle from both Johnny and Tim.

“Pogo, why is it always you?” Amanda asked, her voice full of exasperation. Her green eyes fixed on the keyboardist who was currently being held against a wall by three men. Pogo only grinned at her before giving her a slow wink.

“Who else do you know that can make your life this interesting?” he quipped, raising a brow at the curly haired woman.

“I wouldn’t say interesting as much as I would absolutely insane!” Amanda exclaimed, throwing her arms up in exasperation.

“But would you honestly have it any other way?” Pogo asked, his voice deadly serious for the first time that night. Johnny, Tim and Ginger gaped up at the mohawked keyboardist as he stared at Amanda. His brown eyes had no hint of their usual humor and his red lips were pressed in a tight line.

Amanda froze, the tone of Pogo’s voice giving her pause. She had never heard the keyboardist so serious before and it honestly threw her for a loop. “No. As nuts as things have been lately, I wouldn’t give any of it up for the world,” Amanda answered steadily. The smile Pogo gave her in return almost made her regret her words and a horrible feeling of doom began to rise within her.

“That’s great to hear! Cause, baby, you’re gonna see some shit tonight,” the half sane bandmate purred, a mischievous glint in his brown eyes.

As soon as the elevator doors closed, Manson had Raven pressed against the back wall; his mouth burrowed in the crook of her neck. Small, rough growls left the slightly trembling performer as his tongue slowly laved her neck. “M-marilyn!” Raven gasped out, her knees going weak and nearly causing her to collapse. Only his firm arm wrapped around her waist kept her on her feet.

“Mmmm,” he groaned against her neck, pressing his body against hers. His left hand gently gripped her right wrist and slid her arm up over her head while holding the appendage tightly against the wall. Then the towering rock star slowly pulled back, his burning, mismatched eyes staring down at Raven intensely.

“I’ve missed you,” he growled, his voice rough and throaty. Trembling slightly, the super star gently cupped Raven’s face and leaned his forehead against hers. His shoulder length, black hair creating a makeshift curtain, Manson gently took her lips in a chaste but passionate kiss.

Her heart beating in her throat, Raven found herself leaning instinctually into the powerful male’s lithe body. Her arms slowly rose of their own accord, coming to rest on his back as she gave his black lips a timid lick. This action caused the singer to groan and press his hips against her, his leather clad arousal pressing hard against her upper thigh. “Raven,” he groaned out heatedly, breaking the kiss to look into her eyes.

The sheer amount of lust in his mismatched gaze took her breath away and Raven felt her body respond in kind. Arousal jabbed into her lower body in a powerful cramp, drawing a low moan of need from her trembling lips. “Oh god, Marilyn,” she gasped out, her voice throaty with lust but holding just a bit of fear.

The slight ding of the elevator door broke the spell, drawing an irritated hiss from Manson as he backed away from Raven. Blinking a bit dazedly, the unsteady female tottered out of the elevator on unsteady legs. Fear and arousal currently fighting for dominance within her small body, Raven had to stop and lean against a wall to catch her breath. The black haired female took in a deep, shuddery breath in an attempt to slow her racing heart, not noticed Manson coming towards her with a concerned look on his face.

A hand on her shoulder nearly made her heart burst out of her chest and Raven whirled around with a hand fisted in her shirt. Almost immediately both her shoulders were grasped in a firm, steadying grasp and Manson was looking down at her worriedly. “You okay?” he whispered, concern thick in his baritone voice.

“Y-yeah,” Raven managed to squeak out, her face going a lovely shade of red. Manson only chuckled in response, nuzzling her neck briefly before pulling back.

Raven blinked in confusion as she looked at the singer who was watching her patiently. He had his head tilted at her in mock confusion, a playful grin curling his black lips. “Come, unless you want to stand in the hall all night,” he purred before simply turning and continuing to head towards the currently empty suite.

Raven couldn't help the small sigh of relief that was threaded with slight disappointment that left her. She had almost been expecting Manson to take her in the hall with the way he had been acting. Yet, when he opened the door to the dark suite, Raven felt a fair bit of apprehension rise within her. She wasn't entirely sure she could give the performer what he was after tonight and the thought honestly terrified her. How would he react when she turned him down?

Memories of what had happened last time she had rejected his advances filling her head, the extremely nervous Raven gently turned on the room's light before entering. As soon as she had entered the living room, she heard the door shut behind her with a quiet click. Her heart now beating in her throat, the black haired female turned slowly to face her famous boyfriend.

Manson stared at her hungrily, his mismatched eyes roving over her body in appreciation. Slowly, with the grace of a predator, the singer padded towards her. Sexual energy rolled off the rock star in dark waves, causing Raven's previous desire to rekindle into a raging bonfire. Licking her suddenly dry lips, Raven backed up for every step Manson took toward her until she bumped into something rather solid.

Looking behind herself and seeing the couch, Raven whipped her head back around to see that Manson had taken the opportunity to close the distance between them. His blueish white and brown eyes fixed on her intensely as he gently took her pale face in his hands. Unknown to Raven, her breath had started to come in small, frightened, panicked breaths. “Relax,” Manson whispered softly, giving her lips a tender kiss.

Instead of relaxing, Raven went board stiff as soon as his lips met hers. Panic beginning to rise thick within her, the shaking female broke the kiss by suddenly turning her head to one side. Her entire body shook as tears began to roll down her pales cheeks. Her breath came in great, watery gasps and she almost seemed to shrink away from him out of sheer fear.

Concern quickly replaced lust and Manson gently but firmly captured her chin in his hand and forced her head to face him. Making sure she was looking him in the eyes, the concerned singer meet her wide, frightened eyes steadily. “Hey! You know I won't hurt you,” he purred, a sliver of impatience slipping into his baritone voice.

Wincing away from the 'Antichrist Superstar', Raven tried to calm down by taking several deep breaths. Still shaking like a leaf in a strong wind, the black haired female could only nod. “I-I know,” she whispered quietly, avoiding his glance and looking down at the beige carpet beneath her platform boots.

“B-but my problem isn't whether you'll hurt me or not,” she whispered in a small, timid voice.

“Is it because of what your exes did to you? Raven, give me a chance to show you just how beautiful you are to me. Just how much I want you,” he growled, his voice a deep rumble coming from deep within his chest. Slowly, tenderly, the singer pulled her close to him, burrowing his nose in the crook of her neck. With a slow, deliberate lick, Manson laved his tongue over her racing pulse.

A moan of need leaving her lips unbidden, Raven's knees nearly gave out on her. As Manson's gentle but firm arm wrapped around her waist to steady her, Raven found herself leaning into the warmth of the man holding her. His words washed through her like a powerful wave, igniting both her desire and her love for the rock star who had her in his arms. Leaning forward and nuzzling the silk material of the black long sleeve he wore, Raven inhaled his scent. A smell that was musky, electric and purely male reached her nostrils and she felt her arousal spike within her.

A small whimper escaped her as she squeezed her thighs together needily. Manson cautiously wrapped his arms around her, as if he was afraid to spook her. Leaning back slightly, the towering performer lowered his face down to hers, capturing her lips in a chaste but passionate kiss. Raven moaned breathlessly against his black lips, her body tingling all the way down to her toes from arousal. She could feel something inside her tightening like a spring and an incredible, indescribable need.

Growling softly against her lips, Manson gently picked her up bridal style and carried her off to the bedroom; all without breaking the kiss. Once he was inside the room he assumed was hers, Manson tenderly laid her down in the turquoise silk sheets. Almost immediately Raven turned a deep brick red and curled up into a ball on her side. A small growl leaving him, Manson crawled on top of her, turning her onto her back and pinning her arms above her head. His mismatched eyes glared down at her as she stared at him with an almost terrified look. Then he was kissing her fiercely, his tongue wrestling with hers as one of his hand slowly slid up her right side to rest on her shirt covered breast.

Raven gasped into his mouth, arching her back into his touch and earning an approving purr from Manson. Not breaking the kiss, the rock star gave Raven's clothed nipple a brief brush with his thumb. This earned another heated, almost desperate moan from Raven as she once again arched into his touch. “Mmmm always so sensitive,” he rumbled, breaking the kiss to nuzzle her neck again.

“M-marilyn,” she gasped out in a husky voice that she didn't quite recognize as her own. The aching, tight coil in her lower belly was quickly reaching the point of being unbearable. Of their own accord, her hands came up to rest on Manson silk covered back and he gave her neck a firm nip. A gasp left her mouth and she found herself instinctually spreading her legs for the singer that was currently above her.

“Good girl,” he husked against her neck, shifting so he rested between her still clothed legs. Shaking slightly, the performer gave her right nipple another brush; earning a deep, shuddering moan from the woman beneath him. A low growl escaping him, the lithe singer slowly pressed his clothed arousal against her clothed slit.

Her hazel eyes flying open, Raven's breath caught in her throat as she realized just what was pressing against her down there. Panic beginning to over take her lust, Raven tried to move away; only to have Manson roughly grab her hips and pull her back against him. His eyes burned down at her with such an intensity that she almost shrank back from fear. “Raven, please. Trust me,” he growled, his voice rough and throaty with his need.

“B-but,” she began weakly, only to be interrupted by a desperate kiss as his thumb brushed against her clothed nipple again. Moaning heatedly into his mouth, Raven instinctually bucked her hips against his clothed arousal.

Manson growled against her lips possessively, the hand on her breast traveling down to the hem of her black jeans. His tongue tangling with hers, the singer deftly popped open the button on her jeans and slowly slid the zipper down. Raven jerked under his hand, an unsure whimper coming from her occupied lips. Manson broke the kiss to rest his forehead against hers, his hand resting on her stomach just above the hem of her dark red panties. “Marilyn... d-don't...,” she gasped out, a blush on her pale cheeks as shyness and fear began to fill her hazel eyes.

“Easy, easy. I promise I won't undress you. Just relax,” he rumbled softly, panting slightly as his hand gently played with the lace hem of her underwear. His hand shook slightly with each pass, as if the performer was using all the restraint he had within him.

Raven's heart beat so hard in her chest she nearly felt like she would faint. Her entire body starting to shake from both fear and anticipation, the nervous female closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths. She could feel the heat of Manson's gaze watching her, his hand still idly rubbing along the hem of her panties. Her womanhood was aching for his touch and each brush of his hand on her skin drove her wild despite her shyness and fear. Keeping her eyes tightly shut, Raven brought her hands up to her chest and gave a small, brief nod.

Her entire body had gone stiff, and she trembled like a leaf as she kept her eyes squeezed shut. Her only warning was a heavy sigh before Manson's hand left her stomach. “M-manson?” she squeaked out in a confused voice, still not opening her eyes. A touch on her chin nearly caused her to jump out of her skin. A rough thumb rubbed her chin tenderly before a pair of warm, soft lips met hers briefly.

“Raven, please open your eyes and look at me,” came a firm, frustrated sounding baritone.

Still shaking and stiff as a board, the black haired female slowly and reluctantly opened her eyes. Manson's mismatched orbs met hers steadily, a deadly serious look on his made-up face. “Raven, if you really want me to do this, you can't act as if I'm going to rape you. That seriously ruins the mood hun. Now, let's start again,” he sighed, laying beside her and gently rubbing her side.

At first Raven was stiff and shaking, her hazel eyes fixed on Manson's chin. She found herself unable to meet his eyes out of fear of what she would see within them. As the performer's pale hand moved up and down on her side, Manson began to place soft kisses on her neck in an effort to get her to relax. A low rumble escaped his chest as he gently kissed up and down the column of her pale neck.

Despite herself, Raven found her tense body slowly relaxing into Manson's gentle embrace. As her body began to stop shaking and relax into his touch, Manson gave her neck a gentle nip as his hand moved up her side to cup her breast. Raven gasped at the touch, turning her head to look at his hand. As she watched, his fingers teasingly brushing against her nipple; drawing a gasp from her.

A slow tingling began in her toes and a hot coil of desire began to tighten in her belly. A small growl escaping the male holding her, Raven felt a slightly harder nip as he lightly pinched her sensitive, clothing covered nipple. “Oooooh,” escaped her lips as her hips arched and a raw need shot through her womanhood.

Manson chuckled gruffly behind her, his hot breath hitting her neck as he pressed himself flush against her. Raven gasped as his leather covered arousal pressed against her side, a light blush coloring her cheeks as she turned to look at Manson. Manson raised his head from her neck, his eyes full of lust and love as he leaned forward and captured her lips in a kiss. While he had her distracted by the kiss, Manson slowly slid his hand down; stopping at the hem of her panties.

Breaking off the kiss and panting harshly, Manson looked into Raven's eyes with naked desperation. Raven looked up into his intense eyes dazedly, her womanhood throbbing and pulsing from the sheer need she felt for the man above her. “Please..,” he begged in a throaty, husky voice, his shaking hand fingering the lace of her underwear impatiently. Licking her suddenly dry lips, Raven swallowed before giving a brief nod.

Immediately her lips were captured in a passionate kiss, his hand slowly slipping under the red material of her panties. As his fingers brushed her dark curls, Raven tense briefly; shyness and need fighting for dominance inside her. As if sensing the resurgence of her shyness, Manson broke the kiss to look her in the eyes. “Focus on me Raven, focus on how much you've wanted this to happen,” he whispered in a rough voice, his breathing uneven as his finger began to play with the outer lips of her womanhood.

Raven's breath hitched in her throat at his heated words, her legs raising up and spreading slightly to give him easier access. He was right, she had been waiting for this day for years; had fantasized about during many a lonely night. As the singer beside her gave her moist slit a slow rub with one finger, Raven arched her back and moaned softly. A low growl came form Manson in response as he pressed his mouth against her neck and gave her a firm nip. “M-marilyn!” she gasped, one of her arms wrapping around his back of its own accord.

Manson only growled against her neck, licking her racing pulse as his finger slowly slid up her weeping slit. The questing digit rested briefly on a small bump protruding just slightly at the top of her womanhood, giving it the briefest of brushes before leaving. At just that brief contact, Raven gasped loudly and bucked her hips into his hand. Her breaths now coming in quick pants, Raven tightened her arm around Manson like he was her only anchor to reality.

As Manson gave an approving purr and began to nibble a line down her neck that sent shocks straight to her junction, Raven couldn't help but be a little shocked by her body's strong response. Even at her most horny, it never felt this good when she masturbated. Another brush to her pearl elicited a deep moan as her hips arched up into his touch. The tight coil inside her was wound painfully tight and a whimper of need left her lips.

Manson pulled away from her neck to observe her face. His mismatched eyes drank in her slightly flushed cheeks and the look of almost pain on her pale face. Her slit was slick with her desire and he couldn't help the male pride it instilled in him. With a low groan, he pressed his rock hard, leather encased arousal against her hip as his finger gave her quivering flesh another stroke. “Mmmmnnn M-mare p-please,” Raven gasped out, her other arm coming up to join the one around his back.

The singer smirked at her, giving the small bud another brief brush. “Please what?” he purred in a voice that was almost a growl as she arched up into him. A low, shaky moan escaped the shuddering female beside him as she clutched his back almost desperately.

“Ooooooo, m-make me c-cum,” she gasped, her voice low and husky from lust.

The singer growled softly before capturing her lips with his as his finger began to attack her button. He swallowed her heated moans, returning them with some of his own as he slipped a finger into her heated wetness but not into her pulsing passage. “Oh Raven, cum for me,” he growled against her lips, capturing them just in time to swallow her moan of passion. Her hips arching his hand as the hot coil within her tightened almost painfully.

Small whines and whimpers escaped Raven only to immediately be overridden by Manson's almost possessive sounding growls. Her entire body felt like it was on fire and it felt like she was about to explode from the inside out. Her vision almost going entirely white, Raven's back bowed and she accidentally broke the kiss as her head tilted back. “Oh god, Marilyn!” she screamed, an explosion of pleasure suddenly rocketing her well out of the universe.

Manson held her gently, placing tender kisses on her neck as he removed his hand from her still quivering flesh. As she slowly floated back down to earth, the singer brought his fluid coated finger up to his nose. Closing his mismatched eyes, Manson inhaled deeply; savoring the scent of her juices. As Raven watched with slightly dazed eyes, the rock star began to lick her essence off his fingers. A low growl came from deep inside his chest and he shuddered violently as he sucked her off his fingers. Once he was done, he looked down at her with such intensity that she nearly shrank back.

The normally composed super star was shaking violently and almost panting. His hands twitched fitfully on the turquoise sheets as he tried to regain some semblance of control over himself. A look of pain flashed across his make-up coated face and Raven felt his steel hardness pulse against her hip. Her body still too weak from her world shattering orgasm, Raven opted to release his back and lay down. Then, with a far too shaky hand, she gently cupped Manson's straining, leather covered arousal.

The singer groaned breathlessly, pressing his clothed hardness into her hand. “N-no Raven, n-not like this,” he growled in a shaky, gruff voice.

“Marilyn, you just gave me the best orgasm of my fucking life. Let me fucking do something for you,” Raven quipped in a tired voice, a small smile quirking her lips. Her hand traveled up the leather covered organ until she found the start of the zipper.

Manson moaned at the sound of the zipper going down, his mismatched eyes fixed on her face. “Raven...,” he groaned, unable to pull away as her warm hand met his aching flesh and pulled it free of its leather prison. All his protests died on his lips as her hand began to move over his aching member.

“Shush, I'm not gonna let you get blue balled and just take it to Twiggy. I want to be the one to pleasure you once in a while, even if it isn't sex,” Raven responded, her hand going to the tip of his manhood.

Her index finger smeared the pearl of pre over the sensitive head, earning a groan from the singer. His hips jerked slightly and his breathing had become broken and erratic. Raven reached up with her free hand, pulling the shuddering rock star down for a kiss as her hand began to move in a fast rhythm on his arousal. She could feel him pulsing and twitching under her hand, small growls leaving him as he wrapped his arms around her loosely.

Her fingers entwining in his shoulder length, ebony hair, Raven stroked his tongue with hers as her hand continued to stroke his manhood. Manson growled in response, his hips jerking again as he humped her hand. Drawing in a shaky breath, the performer broke the kiss; his chest heaving slightly as he looked down at her with lust filled eyes. “Y-you have n-no idea how m-much I want this to n-not be your fucking hand,” he gasped out, his arms shaking around her as he nuzzled into the crook of her neck.

Blushing at his heated words, Raven awkwardly turned her head and kissed him wherever she could reach. As her hand continued to stroke his hardness, a low, shuddering moan fanned across her neck as he began to almost lazily hump her hand. “Oh Raven,” he groaned against her neck, his tongue snaking out to lick at her flesh. Raven shuddered in response, a slight jolt of arousal shooting through her sated, tired body.

“Cum for me Mare,” Raven urged, feeling her arm beginning to go numb. Thankfully her words seemed to be the catalyst the singer need. With a heated groan of her name against her neck, Manson spurted cum all over her hand and a bit on her black jeans.

Still panting slightly, Manson kissed her neck tenderly, moved towards her lips with each kiss. Giggling, Raven met his lips with hers before he could do it; earning a chuckle from the singer beside her. Breaking the kiss, Manson wrapped his arms around Raven and nuzzled her neck. Raven smiled and wrapped an arm around his back, closing her eyes and simply listening to the sound of his breathing.


	18. The Morning After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: “I can keep you warm as long as you can just try to be brave.” ‘I Know I’m a Wolf’ by The Young Heretics

The first thing she noticed was a pair of arms were wrapped tightly around her.  In fact all of the person seemed to be wrapped around her.  As the hot breath of the person so tightly wound around her fanned across her neck, memories of last night slowly began to trickle in.  Her hazel eyes going wide with shock, mortification and a touch of fear, Raven turned her head slowly to confirm her suspicions about her current bedmate.  Her breath caught in her throat as she saw the sleeping, make-upless face of Marilyn Manson mere inches from her own.

His slightly sour breath hit her right in the face, making her wrinkle her nose slightly and pull back just a little.  The singer’s response was to almost whimper as his arms tightened around her and pulled her tight against him.  It was at this point that Raven realized that Manson was very naked and she was only dressed in one of her Marilyn Manson ‘night-shirts’.  “Oh God,’ she squeaked softly, squirming against the sleeping rock star in an effort to get away.

As she struggled, Manson groaned softly and shifted his hips slightly.  To her horror she could feel his semi-hard penis pressing against her bare thigh.  “Oh Gooood,” she moaned softly, mortification and shyness laced in her voice as she desperately tried to angle her lower body away from the sleeping singer.  It was then she felt a deep inhale from Manson and he moved slightly so he was looking at her tiredly.

“Mmmph.... Raven?” he grumbled in a throaty, tired voice, yawning behind a hand.  His mismatched eyes were slightly glazed and didn’t quite look aware of his surroundings.

Brick red and slightly shaking, Raven did her best to smile at the sleepy rock star.  “Its okay Manson, just need to go to the bathroom,” she lied smoothly, hoping that in his mostly asleep state he wouldn’t notice anything.

“Mmmm ‘kay.  Hurry back,” he rumbled, his voice slowly fading away as he laid down and his arms loosened around her.  His eyes immediately slipped closed and his breathing evened out as he went back to sleep.

Raven scooted a few inches away from the naked but blanket covered singer.  She tried to slow her breathing with a few deep breaths as she watched Manson sleep.  The last time he had changed her clothing, he had been a gentleman about it.  She was fairly sure he would do the same this time.  A relieved sigh leaving her lips, the pale female slowly got out of bed and wandered to the bathroom.  It wasn’t that she had to go, she just needed some time to herself to assess the situation.

Once the bathroom door had been securely locked behind her, Raven gripped onto the sink like a lifeline and twisted the cold tap on full blast.  Trying to steady her breathing, the shaking woman reached into the icy jet and splashed some of it on her flaming face.  “Okay Raven, you’re okay.  I mean you fucking sucked him off for fuck’s sake!  Surely you can handle the idea of him... masturbating you,” she tried to convince herself, staring into the mirror at her blushing face.  This lasted a few seconds before she slumped against the marble bathroom counter, her hot forehead resting against the cool stone.

“Yeah sure.  Your boyfriend, who happens to be Marilyn Manson, just masturbated you last night.  Sure there’s the fact that you’ve worshipped the man for most of you life but that shouldn’t bother you,” she grumbled sardonically, chuckling bitterly as she pushed herself off the bathroom counter and looked into the mirror again.

“Gah!  Marilyn Manson wants your body and you’re just gonna let it slide because of some self-image issues!” she snarled at her nervous, still brick red reflection.

“How long have you fantasized about being in a relationship with him?  How many times have you fucking fantasized about him worshipping your body?  Now he’s finally here and willing and the thought of him just masturbating has you almost having a panic attack!  Get a grip Raven!” she admonished herself heatedly, not sounding too convinced by her own tirade.

With a frustrated, defeated sigh, Raven splashed some more water on her face before looking at the bandage on the top of her left wrist.  A self hating sneer on her face, the distraught female yanked the bandage off to reveal a light scab covering the cross-like cut.  “Who am I fucking kidding?  Who the hell wants damaged goods?” she hissed in a pained voice, raising her injured appendage to her face to look at the scab.

A gentle knock on the door broke her from her dark thoughts and Raven whirled to face the wooden portal.  “Raven?  You okay?  You’ve been in there awhile” came a tired, worried male voice from the other side.

“Y-yeah, just washing my hands,” she called, turning and twisting the tap off.  Giving her reflection one last glare, the pale woman unlocked and opened the door while turning off the light.  Even if she  was  damaged, last night proved to her that Manson wanted her.

As soon as the door opened, Manson was lifting her left wrist and inspecting it.  His mismatched eyes roved over the scabbed flesh, a displeased look on his face.  Raven watched him closely, her heart beating hard in her chest.  After a few moments, the ‘Antichrist Superstar’ brushed his lips gently on the injured flesh before releasing her hand.  “Coming back to bed?” he asked in a throaty, growly voice as if nothing had happened.

It was at that point that Raven realized that Manson was still very much naked.  Swallowing hard, her throat making a dry clicking noise, the black haired female couldn’t stop her gaze from wandering down his scarred chest to the dark trail of hair going down from his belly button.  Her gaze refused to move any further as she stood there stuck between arousal, mortification and flusterment.  A deep chuckle broke into her daze as her chin was gently lifted and her lips captured in a tender kiss.  “Why are you so embarrassed?  Its nothing you haven’t seen before,” he purred tiredly when he broke the kiss.

Raven looked up at the singer, suddenly feeling very aroused by his nearness and the roughness of his ‘just waking up’ voice.  Manson smiled down at her with love filled eyes before gently taking her right hand in his and giving it a small tug.  “Come on.  I’m not ready to get up yet and I doubt you are either,” he rumbled tiredly, hiding a yawn behind a hand.

Before she could say anything, Manson merely turned and began to lead her back to the bed.  On the short trip, Raven found she didn’t mind the view one bit.  His butt was firm and she could see the muscles move as he walked.  In fact, without the distraction of the possibility of seeing his manhood, she was able to drink in his whole body.  He was lithe, thin almost to the point of being underfed and looked as if he had never seen a good day in the sun.  Colorful tattoos decorated his arms and his shoulder length, black hair spilled over his milky back.

All too soon Manson was laying down and flinging the turquoise blanket over himself.  His mismatched eyes looked up at her as he rubbed the sheets beside him.  Nervousness mixing with her arousal from earlier, Raven almost cautiously laid in bed with the performer.  She was careful to keep several inches of bed between them as she covered herself with the same blanket Manson was under.  “Mmm this simply won’t do,” he grumbled before his strong, tattooed arms wrapped around her and pulled her flush against his naked body.

“Much better,” he sighed, nuzzling the top of her head as his hands moved up and down her shirt covered back.

At first Raven was stiff as a board, a hot blush on her cheeks as she felt his semi-flaccid penis press against her bare thigh.  Then she slowly relaxed as it became clear that Manson only wanted to cuddle her as he slept.  Instead of acting amorous, the singer merely made himself comfortable and went back to sleep.  Giggling softly but still a bit mortified by the part of him touching her, Raven placed a tender kiss on his pale forehead.  “I love you Bri,” she whispered quietly, earning a soft sigh and gentle squeeze from the sleeping rock star.  Then she snuggled into his bony chest and closed her eyes.  The sound of his gentle breathing soon lulled her into a deep sleep.

The suite door slamming open, followed by an angry female voice loudly declaring that she would  never go near Pogo while he was drunk again, jolted both of them out of a deep sleep.  “Mmm sounds like your friend is back,” Manson hissed, sitting up and pressing the palm of his left hand to his forehead.

“Amanda, her name is Amanda,” Raven grumbled, feeling her own headache beginning as she swung her long, pale legs out of the bed.

“Mmhmm.  Whatever her name is, she’s fucking loud in the morning,” he grumbled irritably, getting out of bed and reminding Raven that he was still very much naked.

Averting her eyes from the nude singer, Raven ran to her dresser and rummaged in it for some appropriate clothes.  “Maybe she wouldn’t be loud if your band didn’t go out of their way to aggravate her,” she quipped, not looking at Manson as she scampered into the bathroom to change.

“Hey, they’ve always been like that.  You guys are just going to have to get used to it,” he replied grumpily.

Raven rolled her eyes as she pulled her black jeans over her red panties.  As much as she hated to admit it, Manson had a point.  The band and Manson came as a packaged deal.  She and Amanda would just have to adapt since Manson certainly wasn’t going anywhere.  After she had pulled on a black shirt, Raven cautiously opened the door and called, “You dressed yet?”

“Maybe I am, maybe I’m not.  You’ll just have to come out and see,” he purred playfully, a slight hint of a throaty rasp to his voice.

Raven whimpered, shifting from one foot to the other unsurely.   ‘Okay, its okay.  You’ve seen his... thing before.  You’ve fucking had it in your mouth!  You can handle seeing him naked!’ she thought to herself.  Yet, despite that self encouragement, it still felt as if her legs were trying to collapse out from under her.  No matter what reason she gave herself, it was still Marilyn fucking Manson out there who may or may not be naked.  Just the thought of it filled her with both arousal and extreme embarrassment.  “Are you coming out or am I coming in to get you?” he hissed, the threat evident in his voice.

Taking in a deep breath and slowly letting it out, Raven shakily came back into the room; keeping her hazel gaze fixed firmly on the white carpet beneath her feet.  A deep chuckle made her jump and she felt a hand starting to lift her chin.  Making strange, strangled noises, Raven fought his hand; trying to keep her face pointed toward the ground.

The grip on her chin tightened and the pressure became more firm as he forced her face upwards.  Closing her eyes rapidly, Raven tried in vain to yank her chin from his tight hold.  Manson growled in response, giving her chin a gentle shake.  “Open your eyes,” he hissed, the fact he wouldn’t take no for an answer evident in his tone.

Reluctantly, Raven opened her eyes to see Manson dressed in the same attire as last night.  His mismatched eyes sparkled mischievously as he gave her lips a quick peck.  “There now, much better,” he purred, looking very much like the cat who ate the cream.

“You’re mean,” Raven gasped out, still shaking a bit.

“I have a reputation to uphold babe,” he chuckled, giving her another quick peck on the lips before leaving the room.  Raven rolled her eyes, a slight smile on her face as she sat on her bed to pull on some socks.

As soon as she exited the bedroom she was greeted to the sight of Amanda standing toe to toe with Manson, who had a non-plused look on his face and a glass of alcohol in his hand.  “Alright mister!  I have a bone to pick with you about how you treated Meag, I mean Raven!” Amanda snarled, poking Manson’s chest with a thin finger.  A tired looking Johnny stood in the living room, watching their antics with exhausted eyes.

The usually impeccably dressed actor looked significantly rumpled.  His cheek length, black hair stood at all angles and his newborn goatee looked a lot thicker.  The hawaiian shirt he wore yesterday looked wrinkled and hung open to reveal a stained, rumpled looking tank top underneath.  Black circles were thick under his eyes and the poor man looked about ready to collapse on his feet.

Amanda wasn’t in much better condition.  Her unruly mass of brown curls was a veritable rat’s nest of tangles.  The nice dress she had worn last night was wrinkled and had several stains of god knows what on it.  Like Johnny, Amanda had dark circles under her eyes and looked about to collapse.  But not before she gave Manson the what for.  “What the  hell did you think you were doing yelling at her like that!” the much smaller woman spat, her green eyes sparkling with fury as she stared down the rock star.

Manson stared down at Amanda, his lips pressed in a thin line of displeasure.  Then he proceeded to knock back his drink and shudder.  “Not that I have to explain myself to you, but I already tore myself up about that.  I... came to a few conclusions about myself,” he hissed, turning his back on the sputtering woman as he refilled his glass.

Raven watched the exchange with trepidation, her gaze switching between the fuming Amanda and Manson to the swaying Johnny.  Deciding to let Manson deal with the consequences of his actions for the moment, Raven moved towards the fading actor.  Johnny unsteadily turned his head toward her as she got closer, a tired smile coming onto his strained face.  “Oh Raven, good to see you’re okay,” he murmured before collapsing.

Barely catching him before he hit the floor, Raven helped Johnny stagger to his room; which was between hers and Amanda’s.  As soon as the door was shut, the blushing female helped Johnny shrug off his hawaiian shirt.  Then she led him to the edge of his purple sheet covered bed and helped him sit down.  As she pulled away to leave, Raven felt the dark haired actor’s arms wrap tightly around her waist as he burrowed his face in her stomach.  “J-johnny?” she stammered out unsurely as butterflies of arousal began to flutter inside her lower belly.

“I was so worried about you.  I thought Brian was gonna do something rash again,” he whispered breathlessly, rubbing his cheek on her slightly chubby stomach.

“H-hey, I’m okay Johnny.  Why don’t you try to get some sleep.  You look like you’ve had a rough night,” she suggested, nervously patting his dark haired head.  The tired actor sighed against her stomach before releasing her and laying on his back.  He pressed the palms of both hands against his eyes and let out a shuddering groan.

“W-would you mind staying with me for a bit?  It would help me feel better,” he whispered in a pleading voice, not removing his hands from his face.

“O-okay,” she replied unsurely, her hazel eyes watching Johnny closely.  She had never seen the normally jovial man look so utterly alone before.

“Thanks,” he murmured, sitting up slowly and walking into the bathroom.

After a few moments, the exhausted looking man stumbled back out dressed in the stained tank top and a pair of blue sleeping pants.  At first he leaned on the bathroom door, his brown eyes scanning the room until the saw Raven was still there.  A relieved smile appearing on his face, Johnny teetered over to the bed and practically allowed himself to fall on it.

Raven watched the a-list performer with worried eyes.  “Johnny, why don’t I just let you get some sleep,” she offered quietly, a bit startled when the man lifted himself to look at her.  His black locks hung slightly in his face and the look on said face was so full of concern and longing that it froze her in place.

“Just... stay with me until I fall asleep,” he pleaded, rolling onto his back so he could look at her with those tortured brown eyes.

Unable to take seeing him in such pain and telling herself she was just cuddling a friend, Raven crawled into bed beside Johnny.  He turned to face her, a curious look on his pale, tired face.  Suddenly feeling very nervous, the shaking female licked her dry lips before tentatively wrapping her arms around the actor’s lithe body.  Johnny jerked slightly, a cautious hand coming up to rest lightly on her back.  “Why were you so worried?” she asked, breaking the silence.

“Well, with how he’s already treated you, I’d say I have every right to be concerned.  I care about you very deeply Raven.  I don’t want to see you hurt,” he murmured quietly, his free hand gently cupping her left wrist.

Raven sighed, giving Johnny a light squeeze.  “Ever since he got back he’s been very sweet to me,” she assured, looking up at Johnny’s handsome but tired face.

“Mmm but I have to wonder how long he’ll be like that,” Johnny muttered, his voice fading off at the end as he drifted off to sleep.

If the poor guy wasn’t so tired, Raven would have woken him up for an explanation.  She had heard horror stories about Manson’s infamous temper, about how his mood switched on a dime but so far she had only seen stuff she could easily deal with.  The way everyone acted around the singer it was like they were expecting a bomb to go off.  With a frustrated sigh, she gently pulled the blankets over Johnny and left.

While Raven was occupied with Johnny, Manson and Amanda got into an epic pissing match.  As soon as the singer had turned his back to her, the curly haired hell cat grabbed his shoulder and whirled the 6’ 6” star around to face her.  “Look, you may think you’re fucking hot shit because you’re a rock star but to me you’re nothing more than dirt.  So far I haven’t seen anything that convinces me you’re going to treat my friend well,” Amanda snarled, her eyes flashing with rage.

“Except flying an overnight flight just to see her and driving her to a hospital?  Now why I was the one doing that again?  Oh right!  You didn’t fucking call an ambulance!” he roared, slamming the fluid filled glass down on the counter so hard it shattered.  The two glared at each other as the alcohol dripped onto the tile floor of the kitchen.

“How  dare  you!” Amanda hissed before she pulled back a hand and slapped him across his pale face with every bit of strength she had.

Manson’s head moved to the side from the force of the blow, his black hair obscuring his face from view for the moment.  A low growl escaped him as he whipped his head back to face the fuming Amanda.  Pure rage glittered in his mismatched orbs as he drew himself to his full height, his hair still hanging slightly in his face.  A red hand mark slowly began to appear on his left cheek.

“I’m not fucking scared of you mister ‘Antichrist Superstar’!  You have  no idea what she’s fucking been through!  How badly  you yelling at her could have broken her!” hissed the enraged woman, her chest heaving from her anger.

Manson stepped back as if struck, a brief flash of guilt and regret flashing across his naked, pale face.  “You’re right, I don’t know.  I wasn’t there and she hasn’t told me about it yet.  I’m not proud of what I did, especially after what she  did tell me,” the rock star whispered, picking up a piece of glass from the counter and looking at it in the light.

“What  did she tell you?” Amanda whispered, her anger fading for concern when she saw the way Manson was looking at the piece of glass.  It brought back memories of Meagan, before she became Raven.  Memories of her...  Amanda shook herself free of the unwelcome thoughts and focused on Manson, who was staring at her with pain-filled mismatched eyes.

“Why don’t you ask her yourself!  I don’t do this fucking sneaking around, he said, she said bullshit!  I’ve had my fill of that from other people,” he snarled, flinging the glittering piece of glass into the trash can by the sink.  Then he turned and poured himself another drink.

Just as Amanda was about to tell him to slow down, Raven came back into the main room.  The pale woman looked flustered, concerned and embarrassed all at the same time.  Her hazel eyes came to rest on Manson as he knocked back the glass of alcohol with a shudder.  “Marilyn, maybe you should slow down,” she whispered gently.

The singer whirled to face her with such an intense glare that she gasped and took several steps back.  Amanda immediately threw herself between them, flinging her arms wide as she faced Manson.  Manson snarled in response, his frown deepening as his hands curled into tight fists.  “Amanda, what?” Raven gasped out, looking at her friend as if she had suddenly grown two heads.

“Meag, er, Raven this guy obviously has a temper problem!  Have you forgotten what he did to our house?” her room mate hissed, turning slightly to look at her pale friend with concern filled, green eyes.

“Yeah, but he’s never hurt me,” the black haired woman replied, memories of Manson punching the wall in the hospital filling her head.  Raven’s hazel eyes flicked back to Manson, who was looking at her with a mixture of guilt and heart crushing sadness.  Maybe he was remembering that too.

“How long is it gonna take before he turns that rage on you!  Ginger told me a few things and I have to say I’m worried,” Amanda snarled, her voice as harsh and sharp as a gunshot.

Silence stretched between the trio before Raven merely moved around Amanda’s outstretched arms.  The curly haired woman grasped Raven’s right wrist in a harsh grip, her green eyes full of worry.  Raven sighed before gently tugging her wrist free of her protective friend’s grasp.  “I don’t know what Ginger told you and I don’t  want to know.  What I  do know is that I’m choosing to trust Marilyn,” the pale female murmured softly, smiling reassuringly at Amanda as she moved toward Manson.

The lanky singer immediately began to relax, quickly closing the distance and wrapping Raven in his arms.  His mismatched eyes closed as he inhaled her scent, his nose burrowed in her black hair.  “I’m sorry Raven,” he murmured softly, his voice muffled by her thick hair.

Raven gave an exasperated noise, moving back so she could look the slightly stunned performer in the eyes.  “Mare, I already forgave you for that.  Lets just forget the whole mess ever happened,” she groused, gently punching Manson’s shirt covered arm.  This only earned a deep chuckle from the thin super star.

Amanda watched the whole scene, her apprehension only slightly fading.  Manson seemed different than when she first met him.  Still, something Ginger told her made her worried.  Shaking her head, her brown curls shaking with the movement, the pale woman sighed.  “Well, I’m going to bed.  I had to fucking deal with ‘Wonder Pogo’ and his ‘Penis of Doom’ all night,” she groused, shuffling towards her room.  For right now, she would trust her childhood friend’s judgement.

“Wonder Pogo and his what of  what ?!” Raven replied, confusion and violation filling her voice as she whipped around to look at Amanda; only to find her friend tiredly moving down the hall.

Manson burst into laughter, letting go of Raven so he could hold onto the kitchen counter for support.  He wrapped a black material covered arm around his thin waist as he laughed helplessly, tears streaming from his mirth filled eyes.  Raven looked at Manson like he had grown two heads which only made the infamous ‘Antichrist Superstar’ laugh harder.  After a few moments his laughter faded into occasional giggles as he straightened and wiped his eyes.  “Soooo care to explain what  that was about?” Raven asked as he tried to catch his breath, a slight look of confusion on her pale face as her head tilted slightly to the right.

“When Pogo gets really drunk he can get more hyper than he usually is.  On rare occasion he’ll declare himself ‘Wonder Pogo’, defender of the booze.  His weapon of choice is his ‘Penis of Doom’ which he will rub all over random people who happen to be in the same room as him,” Manson replied, chuckles still occasionally spilling from his lips.

Raven stared at him for a few moments before what he said clicked and her jaw dropped open.  “Oh god!  Does that mean poor Amanda...?” Raven asked haltingly, a horrified look on her face.

“Probably not.  Pogo, even drunk, wouldn’t treat a woman like that.  But she probably saw more of him than she would like,” the singer responded, smiling down at Raven with laughter in his mismatched gaze.

Raven shuddered but couldn’t help the small stream of giggles at the thought of what her friend’s face must have looked like.  Manson gave her forehead a gentle kiss before grabbing the nearly forgotten glass of alcohol and tipping it back.  “You know, you really shouldn’t drink like that every morning,” Raven murmured, looking up at the performer with concerned eyes.

Manson went stiff, anger briefly flashing through his brown and whitish blue eyes, then he sighed and ran a hand through his shoulder length, black hair.  “Look, I appreciate your concern but you really don’t need to worry,” he replied, a slightly cold edge to his voice as his eyes met her hazel gaze steadily.

Raven bit her lip, shifting from foot to foot as she lowered her head to avoid his burning gaze.  Despite what the singer said, she was deeply worried.  Ever since they had become involved, the man had a drink almost every morning.  It was starting to look a bit like he had a problem.  Still, she found herself unable to confront him about it.  Their relationship was still so new and they had barely spent any time together during it.  Did she really have a right to question him about his possible alcoholism?  It wasn’t as if he was drinking the whole day.

Manson watched her silent struggle, his lips pressed into a thin, disapproving line.  As if sensing where her thoughts were heading, the towering ‘God of Fuck’ stalked towards her.  Stopping a few inches away from her and seeing that she didn’t notice him due to her being so deep in thought, the singer gently but firmly tugged her chin up so she was looking at him.  His mismatched eyes searched her hazel orbs for a few moments, the intensity of his gaze almost making her collapse to her knees.

A more gentle look replacing the barely hidden anger, Manson simply sighed before pulling her into another embrace.  “I promise, it’s nothing for you to worry about,” he assured softly, petting her shoulder length, black hair soothingly.  Raven found herself slowly relaxing into his arms, a black cloud lurking in the back of her mind.  How long could they go on ignoring this before it became a problem, if it wasn’t already.  She found herself afraid of the answer and nuzzled almost desperately into the black material of the singer’s long sleeve shirt.

A few hours later Raven found the suite completely jammed full of hung over men.  John 5 was leaning on the kitchen counter, nursing a screwdriver as he held an ice pack to his head.  Pogo had himself draped over the back of the couch, his almost bruised looking eyes tightly shut.  Tim looked pale and tired but no worse for the wear.  Poor Ginger, on the other hand, looked like he had met the business end of a missile.  His bleach blonde hair stuck up at odd angles, he had dark purple circles under his eyes and his clothes looked like they had been caked in vomit at one time.  “Ginger!  Fuck man!  Sit down!  Let me get you some coffee,” Raven gasped, completely horrified by the drummer’s appearance.

“Mmm,” was Ginger’s only response as he collapsed into a chair at the small table, his head coming down on the hard wood of the table with a thud.  Even Manson winced, looking at the exhausted man with a bit of concern.

After all the band members had revived enough to be more than living zombies, Manson went back to Raven’s room to get himself ready for the day.  While the singer was busy putting on his make-up, Raven cautiously approached Pogo; who was now sitting on the couch correctly and sipping a cup of black coffee.  “What did you  do last night?” she asked the keyboardist, a slightly terrified edge to her voice.

The mohawked man turned toward her, an insane grin appearing instantly on his face as his brown eyes sparkled mischievously.  “A better question would be what  didn’t he do?” Ginger groused from behind her.  He had followed her over to the couch, more than just a little afraid of what Pogo would do to her.  Raven turned her head to give Ginger a horror filled look, only growing more horrified when Ginger merely winced and didn’t meet her eyes.

“Aw c’mon Ging!  It wasn’t as bad as it could have been,” Pogo quipped, quirking his blonde brow at the drummer as he took a sip of coffee.  Ginger tensed, his acne scarred face full of fury for a split second as he opened his mouth to reply.

“Alright you sons of bitches, time to pack up the bus,” Manson announced, coming out in full make-up but still wearing his outfit from earlier and the night before.  Despite what they had shared last night, Raven couldn’t help the sudden burst of flusterment and shyness that went through her at the sight of him.   ‘Oh god.  That’s your boyfriend,’ her inner voice squealed happily as a deep red blush spread over her pale cheeks.

The rock star’s gaze flicked around the room until it rested on her.  A smirk coming onto his black lips, Manson prowled towards Raven.  Raven’s reaction was instant and instinctual; she squeaked like a mouse getting stepped on, skittering away from the approaching performer and into the kitchen.  A low, playful growl left Manson as he followed her, trapping his quarry easily against the kitchen counter.

His strong, thin arms came down on the counter on either side of her as he pressed himself close to the nervous female.  An almost possessive glint in his eyes, the ‘Antichrist Superstar’ lowered his face to hers; stopping a hair’s breadth from brushing his lips against hers.  “Still nervous around me?” he purred, his hot breath mingling with hers as she looked up at him with wide, flustered, hazel eyes.

Raven felt almost pinned by his heated gaze.  Swallowing thickly, she found her mouth impossibly dry.  Futilely, her parched tongue darted out to wet her lips.  It was then the singer darted forward, gently capturing her tongue with his teeth as he met her lips in a possessive kiss.  The sheer amount of lust and the feeling of being claimed caused her hazel eyes to flutter shut as her hands came up to rest on his shirt covered chest.  Manson growled against her lips in response, releasing her tongue to run his own along the wet muscle.

His body pressed against her, his knee gently prying her legs open as he ravaged her mouth.  Raven whimpered into the heat of his mouth, not feeling the discomfort of the counter being pressed into her back.  One of Manson’s hands rested in the small of her back while the other tangled in her hair, holding her head still as he kissed her.  After a few breathless moments, the performer finally broke the kiss with a low hiss.

Raven’s eyes slowly open, too dazed by the kiss to really comprehend the situation.  The singer holding her was panting harshly, his arms shaking slightly as he lower body nestled flush between her legs.  With a jolt, she became highly aware of the hard, leather encased manhood pressing right against her junction.  Shyness and flusterment rising to a critical level, Raven tried to shove away from Manson; only to find he had her effectively pinned.  “Raven, you may want to stop squirming,” he bit out, his voice sounding strained.

An insane titter came from behind them, reminding Raven that they had a very male audience right then.  Her face going an even deeper shade of red, the embarrassed woman froze; her hazel eyes looking to the left.  A deep sigh greeted this action as Manson gently cupped her chin, placing a much more gentle kiss on her forehead.  “Are you ashamed of being with me?” he whispered softly, his voice full of pain.

Raven’s gaze immediately flew to his, a flabbergasted look on her face.  “N-no!  Of course not!  It’s just, I’m not used to moving this fast!  And you, you’re... well you.  I’m still getting on a grip on being in a relationship with someone like you,” she stammered out, knowing she was failing miserably at explaining herself.  Though they had been together almost a month already, they had spent very little of that time actually together.  It still hadn’t quite sunk in that she was in a relationship with someone she had idolized through a large chunk of her life.

“Someone like me...,” he muttered softly, his voice losing all emotion.  His lower body pulled slowly away from hers but his grip on her body didn’t loosen.  Hurt and anger swirled within his mismatched orbs as he met her gaze steadily.

“No!  I didn’t mean  you in particular!  I meant someone like  you !  Yanno, famous and wanted by millions of available women.  It just...  I’m still kinda blown away that you want  me ,” she replied hastily, her voice tapering off near the end; becoming small and broken on the last three words.

A long silence greeted her as she lowered her gaze to his chin.  Fear began to fill her and she began to shake helplessly as tears began to brim in her eyes.  Fiercely clamping down on the rising panic and depression, Raven fought to keep from crumbling.  “Guys, give us a few,” she heard Manson ask quietly.

“Yeah man, whatever you need,” Pogo replied, uncharacteristically serious.

It only took a few moments for the band members to file out but those few moments were sheer torture for the already nervous female.  Raven tried a few time to escape his tight grip, wanting to be anywhere but this close to the singer.  Dread began to fill her as a horrible thought filled her head.  Had she made him angry with her?  Her fruitless struggles only made him tighten his grip.  “Raven, stop,” he hissed, his dead calm voice holding a steely edge as he held her against him.

Fear flooded her senses at his tone of voice.  He sounded absolutely furious!  An all consuming need to escape filling her, the panicking female arched in his iron grip in an effort to get away.  “Raven!  Raven stop!” Manson snarled, his grip only tightening as he fought against her struggles.  Something in his voice made her pause, her frightened gaze meeting his mismatched eyes.

“Good, keep looking at me Raven,” he whispered, his expression softening but still holding a stern look.  Behind him the door clicked shut, leaving the pair alone in the room.

As soon as they were alone, Manson released her enough to pull back and look her in the eyes.  “Meagan, listen to me closely,” he whispered, his voice stern and commanding.  Shaking slightly, Raven nodded and swallowed nervously.

“I love you.  I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone.  When you sang Last Day on Earth to me, I was lost,” he rumbled, his expression deadly serious.

Not quite believing what was coming from his mouth, the pale woman stared at him with her mouth agape.  “I don’t know  why I feel so strongly for you after only spending a handful of days with you but I do.  The things I’ve already put you through and you’ve forgiven me for haven proven to me that you care quite deeply for me as well,” he continued steadily, love and a gentle exasperation swirling in his brown and white-blue gaze.

Raven found herself relaxing as it became clear that he wasn’t pissed at her.  His words washed over her like a soothing balm and she found herself smiling slightly.  “If you need further proof I love you, here,” he hissed, grasping her uninjured right wrist in his grasp and shoving her palm against his pulsing, leather covered arousal.

Gasping at how hard he was and blushing deeply from embarrassment, the flustered female tried to pull away only to have him press himself harder against her hand.  She could almost feel the outline of every vein through the skin tight material and she found herself giving an experimental stroke.

The reaction was instant as he shuddered, the stiff rod under her hand pulsing slightly.  “I want you Raven.  I want you badly.  I want you so bad I can fucking taste it.  Yet, because I love you, I will wait for you.  Fuck Raven, I’ve even given up groupies before simply because I can’t get you off my mind,” he groaned, rubbing his arousal needily against her palm that he still held in an iron grip against him.

“I can’t even masturbate, you know that?  Nothing gives me relief anymore,” he moaned heatedly, thrusting up against her hand once.

A gasp leaving her lips, Raven felt a jolt of arousal go through her system in a shock.  Her womanhood began to ache as the way he was looking at her caused a familiar coil to tighten in her lower belly.  “Only your touch, your body, your lips can slake this fire inside me now,” he growled softly, rubbing his leather covered tip against her fingers.

“Do you know just how much power that gives you over me?  How much that scares me,” Manson sighed, his voice sounding pained and tortured.  His hips stopped their lewd movement and his aroused manhood pulsed against her palm.

“Oh my darling, what you do to me,” he whispered, raising the hand he held to his crotch up to his lips and giving the pale flesh a tender kiss.

Raven found herself staring up at him, at a complete loss for words.  His heated words had caused a low, throbbing, needy feeling deep inside her core.  Her entire body tingled as if every nerve was on fire, her breath coming in short pants.  A light flush colored her cheeks and she found herself nuzzling into his chest.  Closing her hazel eyes, the black haired female inhaled deeply; simply enjoying the sheer maleness of his scent.  “Don’t ever doubt just how much I love you, how much I need you.  Being without you these past few weeks has been absolute hell,” he confessed quietly, placing gentle kisses on the crown of her head.

A few minutes passed, the pair just content to be in the other’s presence for the moment.  Then Manson pulled away slightly, lifting her chin to look at him.  “You’re gonna have a ringside seat at tonight’s concert,” he announced, a sudden mischievous glint in his mismatched gaze.

“Just what do you have in mind?” Raven asked, dreading the look in his eyes as he pulled away from her.

“You’ll just have to wait and see,” the singer purred, smirking to himself as he headed toward the door to tell the band they could come back.  Whatever he had in mind, Raven was sure it was going to be embarrassing and would probably give the paparazzi a field day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Phew this has gotten way longer than I ever intended. I hope all you people out there reading this don't mind the occasional word vomit chapter. To be honest, I only sorta know what's gonna happen next so bear with me.)


	19. Flipping the Coin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: “We can't let fear stop us! I'm not afraid of the darkness!” - Riku (Kingdom Hearts)
> 
> Wight Spider (c) Marilyn Manson

Raven blended in perfectly with the crowd that jammed the concert doors.  If it had only been nearly a month ago, she would have been right there with them.  Watching the screaming crowd from the window of the tour bus as it pulled up to the side of the concert hall was a surreal experience.  Taking in a steadying breath, the nervous female turned to look at the band members.  Ginger smiled at her reassuringly, giving her arm a gentle pat.  Twiggy, noticing how pale and twitchy she had become, came up beside her and sat down.  “You’ll be okay hun, Manny won’t let anything happen to you,” he assured gently.

Barely able to stop a snicker at the ridiculous nickname, the still nervous female smiled beamingly at the ex-guitarist.  “Thanks Twiggy,” she replied gratefully, fighting the urge to look back out the window.  Instead, her hazel eyes went to the back room where Manson had himself shut in.

“Don’t worry about him.  He always gets a bit weird before a show, having to get into character and all that,” Jeordie whispered, wrapping a reassuring arm loosely around her shoulders.  Without knowing it, the dreadlocked man had hit the nail on the head about what she was dreading.

This would be her first full experience with Manson’s rather abrasive, domineering, and frankly frightening stage persona.  To say she was intimidated was putting it lightly.  Her brief encounters with this side of the singer hadn’t exactly been encouraging.  Unwanted memories of him screaming at her filled her head.  Shaking her head with a quiet growl, Raven dispelled the unwelcome thoughts.  Whatever happened, she would take it one step at a time.  “I know, I’ve been on the wrong side of it before,” she murmured quietly, clasping her hands tightly to prevent them from shaking.

Pogo rolled into her line of vision, coming to a stop in front of her and hopping to his booted feet.  He quirked a blonde brow at her, a not too sane smirk on his face.  “Don’t worry!  Be happy!” he cackled, mussing her black locks with a rough hand.  Raven only rolled her hazel eyes, keeping her focus on the closed back room as the bus came to a stop.

“Hey, hey look at me,” the keyboardist requested, his voice completely serious.

Shocked by his unusually serious tone, Raven turned to lock eyes with the keyboardist.  He was in an awkward squat in front of her, his brown eyes looking up into hers.  His face was free of its usual grin, his expression almost solemn.  “No matter what happens out there you just need to remember one thing, he loves you,” Pogo whispered, gently grasping her injured hand in his.  His thumb brushed briefly over the scabbed wound on the top of her wrist, his brown eyes sparkling knowingly.

Raven was utterly stunned by how gentle and serious Pogo was being.  The fact that the entire band had gone silent and was watching only deepened her suspicions that this was highly unusual behavior.  “Don’t do this again.  He won’t take it well,” the keyboardist murmured, kissing the injured flesh before getting to his feet.  The shocked female pulled her hand back, holding the scabbed flesh against the black material of her t-shirt.  Just as she was about to ask what he meant by that, the loony man clapped his hands together and began to grin maniacally while rubbing them together.

Ginger, who had been standing next to Pogo, immediately skittered away from the mohawked keyboardist.  Twiggy immediately moved to partially shield Raven, despite looking quite terrified as well.  “Ooooh that’s a great idea,” the mohawked madman hissed to himself, cackling quietly as his gaze shifted to the closed door of the back room.

Sighing softly, Raven shook her head at the antics as she got to her booted feet.  Simply unable to just sit still, she began to pace as the bus came to a stop.  Jeordie watched her, light concern on his face.  The others, on the other hand, were busy unloading gear from the bus.  Just as the ex-guitarist was about to comfort the nervous female again, the back room door flew open.

Raven’s head shot up and she froze in place.  There, in the doorway, stood the ‘Antichrist Superstar’ she had drooled over countless times.  Thick, black kohl surrounded his glittering, mismatched eyes.  White make-up coated his face and his black lips were twisted into an angry sneer.  He was only dressed in a black g-string, a black corset, torn nylons and black platform boots.  He almost looked like he was getting ready for a twisted prono shoot.  Thin, white scars dotted his pale chest and his inky hair spilled down his back like an ebony waterfall.  It was almost enough to make her start squealing like the fan girl she actually was.

Noticing Raven’s hazel eyes glaze over with lust, Manson’s angry smirk turned into one of self satisfaction.  “See something you like?” he purred, stalking towards her almost like a lion hunting an antelope.  His smooth, lust filled voice snapping her out of her daze, the flustered woman swallowed dryly before shaking her head.

“Really?  I could have sworn you were nearly drooling,” he rumbled softly, coming within inches of her, gently cupping her face and rubbing her nose with his.

The normally pale woman’s face went an impressive shade of red as a small squeak left her trembling lips.  Manson only chuckled gruffly, nearly sounding like he was growling instead; his bare, tattooed arms wrapping around her loosely.  “What’s wrong?  You suddenly seem unable to speak,” he husked out, his tone darkly playful as he briefly bent to lick her ear.

“M-meep!” she gasped sharply, flinching slightly at the contact as her face went an even deeper shade of red.  Currently caught between feeling extremely flustered and feeling highly aroused, Raven could only look up at him helplessly.

“Okay Mare, that’s enough.  The poor girl is about to explode,” interjected a playful male voice, a brown skinned hand grasping one of the singer’s tattoo covered shoulders.

“Heh, but she makes such cute noises when she’s flustered,” Manson purred, smirking down at Raven arrogantly.

Slightly coming back to herself at that, Raven frowned weakly at him before pushing out of his loose hold.  The singer only chuckled, lust swirling within his eyes as he smirked down at her.  “I... er, uhm,” she sputtered, her angry words dying on her lips as she locked eyes with him.

“Come meet me on stage in a few hours,” Manson rumbled, smirking wider before turning and leaving.  Raven could only stare after him, her hazel eyes automatically going to his exposed butt.

Jeordie smirked at her knowingly before snapping his fingers in front of her dazed face a few times.  “Hellooooo, anyone in there?” he called in a sing-song voice, waving his hand in front of her eyes as she blinked a few times.

“Huh?” she gasped out, turning to look at the ex-guitarist dumbly.

“Boy, you  do have it bad,” he remarked teasingly, a hint of wonder threaded in his voice.

That caused Raven to snap out of it, her blush coming back in full force.  “Oh god, I was practically a puddle at his feet,” she groaned out in embarrassment, her small hands going to her flaming cheeks.

“Oh I don’t think he minded one bit,” Twiggy assured teasingly, pulling her into a one armed hug.  Raven only sighed, her shoulders slumping in defeat.

“Any idea what he has up his sleeve?” the blushing woman asked, avoiding the former band member’s gaze.

“Oh I might have a few but I’m not allowed to tell you,” he replied, removing his hand from her arm and ruffling her black locks.

“Aw c’mon!  Fucking really!” Raven yelled, pulling away from Twiggy to glare at him.  The ex-guitarist’s brown eyes glittered with inner mirth, his grin only widening.

“Do you kiss yer mama with that mouth?  Now come on, we have to get ya dressed.  The guys’ll be done setting up soon,” the effeminate male chuckled, gently grasping her arm and leading her into the back room.

“Wh-what?  But I’m already dressed,” she protested, a look of confusion on her face.

“Indeed but Manny had a special outfit in mind for you,” Twiggy purred, his voice full of humor as he closed the door behind them.

Amanda awoke hours later to full on darkness.  Turning her light on and letting out a pained noise at the sudden brightness, the curly haired woman pulled herself out of her rose colored sheets.  “Mmmngh.  I’m going to need a vacation from this vacation,” she grumbled, tottering unsteadily to her dresser.  After fumbling around for a few moments, the half asleep female pulled out a tiger t-shirt and a pair of blue jeans.

Once she had dressed, Amanda sleepily stumbled into the kitchen; to be greeted by a truly jaw dropping sight.  There, standing in front of an open refrigerator, stood a shirtless Johnny Depp.  The half asleep actor seemed utterly oblivious to her presence, propping the door of the fridge open with his thigh as he poured himself a glass of milk.  After gaping at him for a few moments, the now wide awake female tore her eyes away from his tanned back and sat at the table in the alcove.

On said table were two V.I.P tickets to tonight’s concert.  Picking them up with a semi-exasperated look, Amanda merely shook her head before placing them back on the table.  She was simply too tired to suffer through another concert.  With a long suffering sigh, the pale female flopped into a chair, placing her curly haired head into her delicate hands.  “You look like you need a mug of hot cocoa,” came a gentle male voice from behind her.

“After the night  we had, I’d say we both need cocoa as well as a good movie to watch while sipping it,” she replied softly, turning to smile tiredly at Johnny.

“Amen to that.  Go pick out the silliest comedy on Pay-per-View, my treat.  I’ll make us some hot chocolate,” Johnny replied with a small grin.  Amanda couldn’t help but return it as she sat on the couch and turned on the T.V.

“We’ll just see who pays for  what here,” the tiny woman hissed, her eyes glinting from the perceived challenge as she began to flip through the channels.

Raven gaped at the outfit that Jeordie had practically forced on her.  He had even gone so far as to refuse to let her out of the bathroom until she had changed.  Now that she had it on, she had to admit it looked pretty damn good on her.  On her torso she wore a black, form fitting, black corset that had green trim.  The bottom was a many layered, black lace, almost torn looking skirt that ended just above her knees.  Torn nylon, much like her boyfriend’s, adorned her legs and on her feet were her usual platform boots.  “Do ya need help with the make-up sweetie?” came a half concerned, half amused voice from the other side of the closed door.

“Actually, that would be appreciated,” she admitted weakly.  She only ever wore make-up on special occasions and then it had only been lipstick and nail polish.  The make-up in front of her was stuff she had never put on by herself.

Jeordie only chuckled, shaking his dreadlocked head as he opened the door.  “I kinda guessed that would be the case.  You don’t exactly seem like the type who would use this stuff,” he replied, a patient smile on his face as he moved to help.

“Oh hush.  I’ve never felt the need to wear it,” she grumbled, glaring at the ex-guitarist.

“Well tonight’s a special night!  Now sit still, this won’t take long,” Twiggy replied, reaching for the eyeliner pencil.

Manson paced while the rest of the band scrambled to set up their instruments.  The expression on his face was somewhere between nervous and agitated as he prowled back and forth.  “Bri?” came a very familiar female voice from beside him.  Immediately, the singer whirled to glare at the woman.

“Fuck off Dita.  Fuck right off!” he hissed, his mismatched eyes narrowing in anger.  As he glowered at her, it was all Manson could do not to start drooling.

The model was dressed in a form fitting black dress, her ebony hair hanging loosely around her shoulders.  Her lips were a deep, ruby red and a faint dusting of blue eye shadow was on her eyelids.   Her red nailed hand clutched her fashionable black purse as her striking blue eyes stared at him sadly.  “I know you don’t want to see me but I had to say this in person.  I recently had the opportunity to meet with Raven.  She, as well as Jeordie, made me rethink a few things.  I just wanted to apologize for everything I put you through,” she murmured softly, watching him almost warily.

“Apologize nothing!  Not only did you drive away almost every girlfriend I’ve had after you but you gave the paparazzi Raven’s personal information!  On top of that you had the nerve to actually hunt her down!  Were you trying to drive  her away too?!” he roared, his hands curling into tight, shaking fists by his side.  Dita only winced in response, her gaze not moving from his.

“I just wanted to protect you.  Those other women only wanted you for your fame.  None of them  really loved you,” she whispered softly, her right hand tightening on the leather handle of her purse.

“While you may be right about that, it doesn’t give you the right to interfere with my life!” he snarled heatedly, not noticing his band was beginning to notice the commotion.

“Mare, I know how you can get when you find out your girlfriend has been using you.  I’ve seen the deep scars it left.  I couldn’t bear to see you go through any of it again,” she replied quietly, tears brimming in her eyes.

“So you thought it would be better to just drive them away?!  How do you know that  none of them loved me?!  Did you honestly know anything about them before you began your crusades?!” raged the fuming singer as he gestured violently with his bare arms.  Behind him Pogo was motioning frantically to the others and pointing, going unnoticed by both parties.

“I didn’t think about any of that.  As soon as I heard you were with someone, I called my private investigator to check them out.  Almost half the time he came back with evidence they wanted you to boost their career or just wanted to date a famous person,” she responded quietly, wincing a bit at how that sounded.  She sounded like some crazy ex that only wanted to destroy him.

“And what in the blue fuck made you think you had the right to send a private investigator after them?!  For fuck’s sake Dita!” Manson screamed, drawing the attention of many of the security personnel wandering around.  Immediately his bare tattooed arms were grabbed in two strong grips and Ginger came to stand between them.

“You lost  any right to interfere with my life when you fucking tried to change me!” he roared, trying to lunge forward despite the band members holding him tightly.

“Brian, I’m so sorry!  I never meant for any of this to go so far!  I was just so worried about what would happen when the next bimbo left you, I just couldn’t take the chance,” she replied, tears beginning to track black mascara down her pale cheeks.

“FUCK YOU!!  Don’t you  ever call me by my real name again!  You don’t fucking deserve it!” the enraged singer screamed, veins standing out in his pale neck.

“Get out of here Dita.  You’ve caused more than enough damage by just showing up,” Ginger whispered, a hard edge to his voice.  The pin-up model could only nod weakly, dabbing her eyes with a white handkerchief as she backed away.

Manson’s enraged eyes watched her as she turned and fled.  A sneer fixed itself on his painted face as he yanked his arms free of Pogo and Tim.  Ginger immediately whirled around, eye him with concern.  “Manson do  not let this get to you!  If you go off on Raven again...,” the drummer began, only to have the angry mismatched eyes settle on him.

“Get back to work,” he snarled, fury burning deep within his whitish-blue and brown eyes.

“Manson, stop being a dick for a moment and listen!” Pogo snapped, not flinching as the pissed superstar whipped around to glower at him.

“Whatever else you do tonight, don’t take out what happened on Raven.  She couldn’t handle that and you should be man enough not to ask her to,” the keyboardist hissed, anger and defiance flashing in his brown eyes as he faced off with Manson.

Raven gaped at her reflection in the mirror, her mouth unconsciously hanging open.  Twiggy had done a great job, almost making her seem like some sort of goth queen.  Midnight colored kohl surrounded her glittering hazel eyes and almost blood red lipstick adorned her lips.  A light dusting of white face paint was used to accentuate her natural paleness, making her skin almost look as if it was made from porcelain.  The outfit she wore made her look like something out of a vampire novel and the effect was breathtaking.  Even Jeordie was looking at her appreciatively.  “You look stunning sweetie,” he encouraged, beginning to run a brush gently through her ebony locks.

“You know, I  can do that myself,” she grumbled in a half resigned manner.  In truth, having nothing on her torso made her feel very naked and slightly uncomfortable.  It was everything she could do no to tug at imaginary sleeves to cover her bared shoulders.

“I know you  can but you simply  won’t.   Since the moment I laid eyes on you I’ve been dying to try something with your gorgeous hair,” chirped the ex guitarist as he parted the long, black locks to the right.  Under his skillful hands, the ends curled slightly upwards and framed her face.  Once he was satisfied, he stepped back to admire his work.  Even Raven had to admit she looked pretty damn good.

A sudden, musical tapping on the door grabbed both their attention and they turned to look.  There, in the door, stood a slightly irritable looking Pogo.  All irritation left his face as he almost did a double take at the sight of Raven.  “Wow,” he breathed, his brown eyes roaming slowly over her body from head to foot.  Blushing brightly, Raven automatically crossed her arms over her chest to cover the exposed tops of her breasts.  Chuckling slightly at her shyness, Twiggy turned to Pogo and raised a brow.

“Earth to Madonna Wayne Gacy!  Come in Pogo!” he teased, waving a delicate, brown skinned hand in front of the keyboardist’s face.

“Huh?  Oh yeah!  Come on gals, Manson’s ready for ya,” Pogo replied, some of the playfulness slipping back into his voice.  However, his eyes never left Raven.

“I think I’ll join you guys later.  I got a few things of my own to get ready,” Jeordie replied with a grin before squeezing by Pogo and leaving the small bathroom.  Pogo, instead of leering at her or doing any of his usual antics, simply offered his arm to her.

Looking up at the mohawked keyboardist cautiously, the pale female gingerly took Pogo’s arm; ready to run at a moment’s notice.  Pogo only grinned gently in response before carefully leading her out of the bathroom, through the bus and down the steps.  “Be careful with Manson tonight,” he hissed, almost too quiet to hear, as they walked up to a hidden stage door in the side of the building.

“What?” she asked, looking up at the blonde man confused.  The normally hyper and jovial keyboardist seemed oddly tense, almost afraid.  Pogo only opened the door for her, allowing her to enter.

“I’m not allowed to tell you what happened, just know he’s going to be more pissy than usual,” he whispered, holding her by the shoulder and whispering in her ear; his brown eyes were fixed on the stage just a few feet ahead.

“We’re going on in five minutes!  Where the fuck is Pogo with Raven?!” came a pissed off roar from the direction of the stage.

“Oh jesus,” she whispered, fear beginning to flood her system as her knees went weak.  She would have collapsed to the concrete if it hadn’t been for Pogo steadying her.  The sheer amount of rage she had heard in the singer’s voice nearly made her faint on the spot.  In fact, she wanted nothing more than to run away.  She even began to unconsciously back towards the door once she had regained her feet.

“Hey, easy!  I’ll make sure he won’t hurt you and if he starts taking it out on you he’ll have the whole band to deal with,” he murmured softly, his hand moving down from her shoulder to the small of her back to halt her retreat.

Raven looked up at Pogo, her hazel eyes looking even more wide and scared due to the make-up that surrounded them.  Her blood red lips trembled as she looked back towards the stage.  Whatever had happened had the singer ahead of them royally pissed off and she wasn’t sure if she had the bravery to face the rage that was no doubt amplified by his stage persona.  “You’ll be okay hun, I promise,” Pogo assured softly, beginning to push her forward with the hand resting in the small of her back.

As they came ever closer to the slightly smoky entrance to the stage, Raven found herself desperately trying to swallow her fear.  She knew that if she showed up in front of Manson scared out of her mind it would only fuel his rage.  Taking a deep breath and turning to glance at Pogo for reassurance, Raven began to climb up the short set of stairs leading to the stage.  To her immense relief, the mohawked keyboardist followed close behind; smiling gently at her.

As she started to turn to look where she was going she rammed right into someone.  “Oh gosh, I’m so sorry,” she gasped, looking up at the person she had run into.  To her horror her eyes traveled up a familiar corset, to a shockingly pale, scarred chest and finally to the face of Marilyn Manson.  All hint of the anger she had heard earlier had fled for raw lust as his mismatched eyes slowly roved her.  A hungry, almost predatory look began to swirl in his gaze as his eyes lingered on the exposed tops of her breasts.

All of a sudden a tattooed arm wrapped around her, pulling her roughly onto the stage and flush against his body.  A deep rumble escaped from the singer as he continued to stare at the exposed flesh of her breasts.  Raven’s breath caught in her throat as he lowered his face to the crook of her neck, fear and arousal fighting for dominance within her.  Manson’s arms tightened possessively around her as he growled against her neck, causing a slow ache to begin to build within her lower belly.  A gasp escaped her ruby lips as he slowly laved his tongue along her erratic pulse.  “S-sir?” came a timid, female voice; causing Manson to go stiff and pull only slightly away from Raven’s pale flesh.

“What,” he hissed, his voice gruff and throaty as he brushed his black lips against the alabaster flesh of the neck before him.  The black haired female in his arms shuddered, small whimpers of fear and need leaving her lips.  These small noises were only fanning the already roaring flames of lust within him and the singer found himself simply wanting to take the woman he currently held back to the trailer.  At this point in time a stupid concert was extremely low on his priorities list.

“Th-the show is starting i-in a f-few minutes,” replied the obviously nervous female, drawing a low growl from the rock star.

“How bout you fuck off back to whoever sent you and tell them I’ll be out when I damn well feel like it,” Manson snarled before he bit Raven’s neck none too gently.  Raven gasped, pain and arousal mixed in the tiny vocalization as she arched in his arms.  The small female squirmed in his tight grip, her pale hands coming up to rest on the bare flesh of his chest.  This only caused the performer to growl softly against her neck, tightening his hold as he licked her freshly abused flesh.

“M-manson,” Raven gasped, pushing uselessly on his chest in a futile effort to create some distance between them.  This only caused the ‘Antichrist Superstar’ to snarl loudly and pull back enough to glare down at her.  The amount of lust, rage and need in his mismatched gaze caused her breath to catch in her throat.

“Yeeeesssss?” he hissed, frustration evident in his voice as he glowered down at her.  The steel hardness of his clothed arousal pulsed against her nylon covered leg, making it hard for her to really catch her breath.

“Hey, didn’t you have something planned Manny boy?” came a familiar chirp, immediately breaking the strange spell over the imposing performer.  His head turned to Pogo who grinned insanely back at him before wandering onto the stage.  With a low growl, the performer turned back to Raven, his burning gaze almost making it feel as if her skin was on fire.

Manson slowly released Raven, his eyes still fixed on the exposed tops of her breasts.  “Indeed, thanks for reminding me,” he responded, his voice deep and throaty as rage and lust swirled in his eyes.  Then, while smirking in a way that made a cold wash of fear rush over the black haired woman, the performer gave her cheek a brief brush with his fingers before making his way to the front of the stage.

As soon as his scrawny figure was in the middle of the stage and behind the mic stand, the light above turned on and slowly focused on him.  Then one spotlight illuminated Tim, who was standing on the ground to the left of Manson.  A grim look was on his painted face and his red lipstick smeared lips were curled into a snarl.  Next a spotlight turned on over John 5, who was on the ground to the right of Manson.  A bored look was on his make-up caked face as he looked out over the massive crowd.  Two more lights came on above Ginger, who was on a platform on the left behind Tim, and Pogo; who was on a platform to the right behind John.  Ginger clapped his drumsticks together briefly while Pogo rocked his keyboard back and forth on the spring it was mounted on.

A light, white haze began to rise over the stage as Manson took the mic off the stand and glared down at the massive crowd below him.  The mass of people watched his every move raptly, holding their breath as they waited for their god to do something.  A strange, almost cocky grin curled the performer’s black lips as he tilted his head back and spread his arms open.  With a sudden, loud explosion, the lights behind the band came on as showers of sparks shot up from the sides of the stage.  The cloud roared in appreciation, the people in the front swelling forward as one living being to try to touch any part of the performer.

Raven watched all of this from her hidden position on the side of the stage, her mouth hanging slightly open in awe.  The sudden explosion had nearly caused her heart to burst out of her chest but she had soon been distracted by the sheer spectacle the crowd had become.  If Manson merely waved his hand, he could get these people to do anything.  The sheer amount of power he commanded over such a huge crowd was truly awe inspiring.  “Are you sonsabitches ready for a mother fucking partay!” Manson screamed into the mic, causing a brief squeal of feedback that made the pale female wince in pain.

The response from the crowd was immediate and frankly a little frightening.  The massive sea of people surged forward as one, thousands of hands reaching toward the stage as several screaming voices clamoring in an unholy jangle.  It almost enough to make Raven run out on the stage to yank Manson away from the rim of the platform.  “I can’t fucking hear you!  I said are you motherfuckers ready for a fucking  PARTY !” he screamed into the mic causing an even louder burst of feedback to explode from the speakers.  Raven whimpered in pain, covering her ears as the crowd went absolutely batshit insane, the shrill noise still ringing in her ears.

His emaciated chest heaving and an almost prideful smile on his face, the ‘Prince of Darkness’ looked down upon his subjects.  Smirking down at the thousands reaching for him, the performer merely waited until they quieted down.  Once he had deemed the noise level low enough, Manson raised his mic and gestured towards the side of the stage Raven was hidden in.

Almost immediately her heart dropped down to the sole of her boots and all feeling in her body left, leaving behind only a faint, numb tingling.  Surely he wasn’t going to do what she thought he was.  Surely he wasn’t going to drag her out on stage and introduce her to the huge crowd.  “Now, I happened to bring someone very special with me.  She’s very shy so you fucks be nice alright?” he snarled into the mic, slowly making his way toward where she was hidden.

Hazel eyes going wide in horror, Raven began shaking her head in desperate negation as she backed up.  There was no way in  Hell she was going to be able to go on that stage and be introduced as his girlfriend.  As she was backing away, she suddenly backed right into something rather solid.  Craning her neck backward, the now startled female saw a rather burly security guard behind her; staring down at her placidly.  Before she could even begin to try to move around the human wall, she felt a strong, very firm hand grasp hers.

Whirling to face Manson with panic stricken eyes, Raven found herself being tugged forward and onto the stage.  “No, no, no.  Oh god Manson anything but this,” she whimpered, beginning to drag the heels of her platform boots in an effort to stop the inevitable.  Seemingly ignoring her breathless, desperate pleas, the rock star slowly dragged her to stand beside him behind the mic stand.  Releasing her hand in favor of grabbing her corset clad waist, the grinning singer tugged her close to his side.

As Raven stood on the precipice overlooking the sea of people, they began to scream and clap.  Her worried, hazel gaze roved over the huge pit of people until her eyes landed on something different.  Mounted on large cranes on either side of the stage were two large movie cameras and both of them were pointed at the stage.  All feeling promptly left her legs and it was all she could do not to slip to her knees.   ‘Oh dear fuck, is this being recorded?!’  echoed in her mind, feeding fuel to the building wildfire of her fear.

Noticing that the woman he held was effectively frozen in place, Manson did the only thing he could think of.  He reached down, grabbed her chin and shook it firmly until her eyes met his.  Making sure she maintained eye contact, the rock star brought the mic back up to his lips.  “This woman I brought on stage is a very important person in my life.  Would you like to tell the crowd your name?” he purred, a smirk curling his black lips as he lowered the mic down to her.

Terror filled every fiber of her being as she stared up at him.  Ruby lips parting slightly, Raven shook her head as much as his tight grip on her chin would allow.  A look of disappointment flitted through Manson’s mismatched eyes as he raised the mic back to his lips.  “Looks like she may need a bit of encouragement.  All you guys cheer her on,” he commanded, turning to face the audience and holding the mic out over them.

The mic proved unnecessary as the huge mob began outright screaming encouragement.  Whimpering unsurely as the ‘Antichrist Superstar’ turned back to her and lowered the mic back down to her, Raven closed her eyes and took a few deep, calming breaths.  After a few moments, she opened her hazel eyes and smiled nervously up at her expectant looking boyfriend.   ‘Might as well just get this over with,’ she thought to herself.

“M-my name is Raven,” she whispered into the mic, looking like she would rather be running away.  As it was, only Manson’s tight grip on her chin was truly keeping her in place.

Smiling triumphantly, the rock star gave her cheek a gentle caress as he brought the mic back up to himself.  Just the simple show of affection was enough to whip the crowd into a frenzy of catcalls and demands to kiss her.  “Maybe later you assholes!  Right now shut the fuck up and listen to what I have to say!” he roared into a mic.  Though he looked severely pissed off, the satisfied smirk on his face gave away how he actually felt.

The sea of humans went quiet all at once, almost seeming to hold their breath.  His smirk growing into a downright cocky grin, Manson moved the hand holding her chin back down to her waist and held Raven tight to his side.  “This gorgeous woman you see with me on stage is my girlfriend,” he announced, turning to grin down at the female against him.

All the blood in her body seemed to rush to her face at once and all she really wanted to do right now was run off the stage and hide in the trailer.  Her heart felt like it was about to beat out of her chest and her face was doing its best impression of a tomato.  As the crowd roared in immediate approval and even lascivious remarks, Raven huddled into the rock star’s side and hid her flaming face in her hands.

All of a sudden her chin was grabbed again and she found a pair of lips pressing onto hers possessively.  At first Raven is all too aware of where they are, the fact its being recorded and the instantaneous catcalls and whistles.  Seeming to notice this, Manson released her chin to wrap both arms around her and hold her against him.  As his tongue began to lap gently, yet insistently at her lips, Raven slowly began to relax in his embrace.  With an unsure whimper, the pale female’s ruby lips slowly opened to admit him.

Manson’s arms tightened around her slightly as he began to plunder her mouth with a low growl.  The sounds of the crowd faded into a muted hum as the super star fairly possessed her mouth.  Then, with another low growl, the now shaking rock star broke the kiss to rest his forehead against hers.  As his burning gaze bored into her, Manson signaled to the band with the hand holding the mic.

With a sharp nod to Pogo, Ginger began tapping on his drums.  After four beats John and Tim began playing a strange tune on their instruments.  Pogo began to rock his keyboard gently as he began to add accents to the tune.  Manson straightened as they began to play, a strange light coming into his eyes as he released her and stepped away.  “I'll build you a shiny dollhouse or church for you to shrink into a tiny wight spider,” he began to sing, a slight bit of contempt slipping into his voice as he stared at Raven.

Raven’s eyes went wide as the song began.  This was another one she hadn’t heard.  Was it another new one she had inspired?  “ And gorge on horrid memories with conceited wings,” he hissed into the mic, pity slipping into the contempt as he continued.  His pale hand gripped the mic tightly as he began to pace along the stage in an almost agitated way.

“Smother the past in a cocoon or me,” he hissed pleadingly, impatience mixing with all the other emotions in his gruff voice.

“And I'll help you move all the bodies.  Oh oh,” he crooned, impatience still coloring the tenderness that had overtaken his voice.  As he sang this line, he slowly walked towards Raven until they were only standing a few inches apart.

“I'll possess you but I don't need you to be another one of my possessions,” he murmured softly, using one hand to gently cup her face briefly.

“I don’t need you to be my possession!” he belted out gruffly, impatience tinging his voice even more.  It almost sounded as if he was a parent lecturing a wayward child.

“And I won’t make you kneel for anyone but me,” he growled out possessively, suddenly grabbing her and turning her so her back was pressed against his chest.  Raven’s heart fluttered in her chest as she looked up at him almost fearfully.

“Won’t promise a star!  Don’t promise your soul!  We’ll say that we don’t believe,” he snarled dark promise and rage bubbling in his rough voice as he glared down at her.  The very air around him was electric with aggression as well as lust.

“I'll keep you wet when the world is dry,” he growled into the mic, one of his hands slipping down her side until it came down to cover her skirt covered crotch.

Raven immediately gasped, mortification and arousal fighting a war inside her as he ground his g-string covered erection against her butt.  In the midst of what was happening, she could almost swear she had heard the band behind them falter a bit in their playing.  “You can see them coming.  I’ll take you back inside,” he growled, his voice raspy and throaty as he moved his hand along her clothed womanhood.

Whimpering as her mortification rose along with her arousal, the trapped woman tried to desperately worm her way out of the rock star’s grip.  Unfortunately this only caused him to tighten his grip.  “Stay still,” he snarled angrily against her ear, the hand that wasn’t cupping her nethers wrapping around her waist even tighter.

“If they came for answers I'll wrap my claws round your mouth tight,” he growled, his voice very guttural as he slowly moved a finger along her clothed slit.

“M-manson please.  Not here,” she whimpered softly, embarrassment prevalent in her voice with some arousal laced in.  Behind them the band members were definitely starting to falter more and more.

“We'll consume each other until there's nothing left to hide and they can all drown in our blood,” he husked into the mic, obligingly pulling his hand away from her crotch only to cup her corset covered left breast.  His steel hardness pulsed against her butt, drawing a slight hiss from the singer.

“I'll possess you but I don't need you to be another one of my possessions,” hissed the ‘Antichrist Superstar’ before he nipped her neck gently.  This drew a gasp from Raven and a loud roar of approval from the rapt crowd.

“I don’t need you to be my possession,” he sang with almost heart breaking tenderness as he moved the hand he had on her breast back down to her waist.

“And I won't make you kneel for anyone but me,” he growled, anger and possessiveness slipping into his voice as his hand traveled southward again.  Raven made a desperate grab for his hand, whimpering in embarrassment as she tried to keep the wandering appendage from going lower.  With a heated glare down at her, the rock star pulled his hand free to cradle her womanhood again.

“Won’t promise a star.  Don’t promise your soul!  We’ll say that we don’t believe,” he rumbled, grinding against her butt as his fingers traveled over her covered slit.

“Manson, please stop.  Please,” she gasped, trying to avoid the leers of the crowd watching the display.  What had started as a public confession was quickly turning into a public sex show.  Behind them the band faltered again, the drums stopping completely.

Manson whirled around to yell at Ginger just in time to be grabbed by the drummer and thrown backwards and away from Raven.  The bleach blonde, acne scarred man glowered at his boss and long time friend before gently gathering the now shaking female into his arms.  As soon as she was in Ginger’s arms, the dress wearing woman burst into ragged, embarrassed sobs and burrowed her now flaming face in his black shirt.  Manson’s eyes narrowed at the sight of this, a low growl leaving his lips as he began to advance on the drummer.

Having long since stopped playing, the other members ran forward and grabbed the pissed rock star.  Twiggy, who had the unfortunate timing to wander backstage at that moment, immediately ran on stage.  The dreadlock wearing ex-guitarist’s long, pink dress flapped around his legs as he moved to stand between Manson and Raven.  Whatever was happening, it was clear to him that the victim had been the poor girl.

“Let me go so I can beat the shit out of this asshole,” Manson snarled, his shoulder length midnight hair hanging in his painted face.

“You’re the asshole here Bri my boy,” Pogo hissed in his ear.  The mohawked keyboardist currently hand his arms wrapped under Manson’s shoulders and was holding tightly.  An insane grin spread over his lipstick smeared lips when the pissed singer whirled his head around to give him a death glare.

“He’s right Marilyn.  You really went too far with that one,” John murmured from his position on the singer’s left.  The bleach blonde guitarist had his arms wound tight around Manson’s side, trapping the performer’s arm against his body.

Turning back to look at Raven, his pissed expression slowly changed to one of regret.  The shaking woman was currently hiding in Ginger’s arms, sobbing raggedly into his chest.  As his stage persona slowly slid to the background the guilt began to wash over him and he felt sick to his stomach.  He had just fingered his extremely shy girlfriend in front of thousands of people as well as a camera crew.

All of a sudden all emotion was replaced with white hot rage as his stage persona slammed firmly into place.  With a low growl, the lithe singer tore himself away from his band members.  Ginger immediately began to move away from Manson, holding the oblivious Raven to his chest.  Yet, instead of heading towards Raven, the ‘Antichrist Superstar’ walked up to the rim of the stage.  His mismatched eyes glared up at both cameras.  “I will pay you both handsomely to erase that last few moments of footage,” he hissed, his eyes cold and hard.

While the singer was busy ‘negotiating’ Ginger swiftly moved Raven off the stage; the rest of the band, as well as Twiggy, forming a protective group around her.  Both Jeordie and Ginger wound their arms over her shoulders supportively as the group led her to the safety of the bus.  Once they had gotten the sobbing, shaken female inside, Pogo trotted over to the bar and began to fill a glass.  “Now isn’t exactly the time Gacy,” Jeordie hissed as he helped Ginger seat Raven on the couch.

“It isn’t for me,” he replied solemnly, any hint of his usual grin gone as he came back and offered the glass to the still sobbing woman.

Raven looked up, her eye make-up staining her cheeks thanks to her tears.  Sniffling shakily, she reached for the glass of amber liquid and gingerly sniffed it.  Crinkling her nose at the smell, she looked up at Pogo with a disgusted look.  “Ugh, I hate Brandy,” she grumbled before knocking back the glass with one swallow.

The entire band and Jeordie looked at her with awe as she winced in pain from the burning sensation the alcohol caused.  Shuddering slightly, the still sniffling female handed the empty glass back to the keyboardist.  “Thanks, I needed that,” she whispered, looking down at the carpet.  She leaned forward on the couch, her bare arms shoved between her nylon wearing legs and clasping hands.

“You know, it’s some consolation the footage will be erased but it could have always been recorded on someone’s phone,” she whispered, her voice small and lost.

“Oh fuck Raven, I’m so sorry,” Ginger murmured, giving the still shaken girl a tight hug.

“So now what?” John hissed, glaring down at her with his arms crossed over his chest.

“What do you mean?” she replied, looking up at him with genuine confusion.

“You’re going to leave him, aren’t you?” the guitarist replied, raising a brow at her in confusion.

“Oh god dammit, I thought we’d been over this,” Raven groaned, leaning her head back for a brief moment and closing her eyes before snapping back up in a sitting position to glare at John 5.

“Come Hell or high water, nothing short of him beating me will make me leave him,” she declared, glaring at the guitarist.

Just outside the trailer, Manson halted and looked up at the open door.  Instead of feeling happy at hearing her declaration, all he could feel was dread.  Dita’s visit had planted some rather poisonous seeds within him that were already starting to germinate.  With a last look at the light inside the tour bus, the singer pulled back and began to walk away.  He would spend the night away and hope the time gone would help him get his head on straight.  If things kept going as they were he wasn’t sure just what he would do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Also a big thank you to everyone who has stuck it out this long! You guys are awesome even if all you’re doing is reading it! I hope I can continue to have your interest in this series.)


	20. Going Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING!!: Domestic abuse, implied beating
> 
> Author’s Note: ‘Pain is just God's way of telling you to try harder!’ - Nostalgia Critic

She huddled in the corner of the bathroom, her badly bruised hands covering the top of her head as she squatted in a tiny ball.  Heart heart raced in her chest as fear paralyzed her beaten limbs and tears poured down her pale, bruise covered cheeks.  A knock on the door made her jump and the frightened female whipped her head around to stare at the closed portal with terrified eyes.  “I know you’re in there little rabbit.  Why don’t you come out so we can play some more,” came a slurred, drunk sounding voice from the other side.

Terror spiked in her veins and she climbed into the tub, curling into a little ball, hugging her knees to her chest and rocking back and forth.  Quiet sobs left her swollen, bleeding lips as she stared at the door like a cornered animal.  “Aw, are you afraid of the big bad wolf?  Well then I’ll huff *slam* and I’ll puff *slam* and I’ll blow your fucking door in!” roared the male voice as he threw himself against the door, managing to finally break in on the last word.

“Hello little rabbit,” he snarled, his form silhouetted by the light in the hall.

“T-tony, please,” she whimpered, cowered as far into the corner of the tub that was opposite to him as she could.

“We’re going to have some fun my little bunny,” he hissed maliciously, a distinct slithering noise coming from his direction.  Her fear filled hazel eyes flitted to his hand to see what looked like a belt slipping into a long loop.  Bringing up the shadowy loop to his chest, her aggressor snapped the leather of the belt harshly.  Whimpering and cowering in the porcelain tub, the shaking female could only watch as the strap came whizzing through the air toward her face.

Bolting upright in bed, a scream lingering just behind her lips, Raven looked around the pitch black room.  Whimpering softly, and making frightened noises, the shaken female reached for any light source.  On the back of her dream, she found the fact that she couldn’t see where she was quite disconcerting.  Her fumbling hand found a lamp on the right side of the bed and she turned it on.

As the light washed over the unfamiliar and fairly tiny room, she became aware of the feeling of motion.  All of a sudden memories of just where she was came back and she felt relief wash over her.  Upon further inspection, Raven realized that she was dressed in a pair of pajamas that were way too tall for her and that she was alone in the back room of the tour bus.  With a small blush coloring her pale cheeks, Raven began to search around the clothes scattered all over the floor for ones that belonged to her.

Manson lay on his back on one of the couches in the main body of the bus.  Having come back at around eight in the morning, the singer was understandably exhausted and lay with a tattooed arm across his closed eyes.  Light snores left his slightly dry looking lips as the rest of the band slept in different spots around him.  Only Tim, who was driving the tour bus, was currently awake.  So it was no surprise that when the door to the back bedroom slid open a tiny bit, there was absolutely no response.  “M-manson?” came an unsure, shy female voice from the small crack in the door.

Raven was far too shy to open the door enough to actually see anything.  She was extremely aware of the bus being full of men as well as the fact that she had been unable to find her clothes and was still wearing the pajamas that hung off her.  A fact that was making it hard for her to talk above a whisper.  So she wasn’t all that surprised when her small squeak of the singer’s name had gotten no response.  Unfortunately the lack of response presented an all new problem, she would have to open the door enough to see just what was going on out there.  Doing her best to swallow her growing anxiety, Raven slowly opened the door just a bit more.  The sight that greeted her left her a bit shocked and speechless.

Ginger was sprawled facedown on the couch with John sprawled halfway on the drummer’s back and halfway on the floor.  Pogo was spread out in the middle of the floor, all four of his limb stretched out as far as they could go and his mouth hanging wide open.  A small puddle of drool was steadily growing by the keyboardist’s head.  Twiggy was curled in a small ball by the couch Manson slept on, hanging onto the singer’s dangling hand loosely.

Fighting back a small squeal at the adorable sight, Raven held her top on with one hand and held up her pants with the other as she tiptoed over to the small couch.  Being careful not to step on the sleeping Jeordie, the awkwardly dressed female carefully leaned over his prone body and gingerly shook the sleeping singer.  “Manson?” she whispered, trying her hardest not to wake anyone up.  The performer merely snorted softly before shifting slightly and continuing to sleep.

“Manson, please,” she whimpered, shaking him slightly harder; her eyes flitting around the room nervously.

Grumbling slightly, the singer tried to roll away from her hands.  “Gomf ‘way,” he slurred, turning his torso slightly to face the couch.  Her heart beating hard in her chest, Raven shook him even harder.

“If I could, I would but I need you to tell me where you put my clothes,” she whispered urgently, a bit of desperation coming into her voice.  Under her leaning torso, Twiggy shifted and sighed softly; his hand tightening on Manson’s slightly.  The performer only snarled low in his chest, trying to swat her away sleepily.

Looking down at the the rock star who seemed dead to the world, Raven tried to think of ways she could wake him up.  One idea came to the forefront of her mind and glowed in bright neon.  Reaching up with a black nailed hand, the pale female gently turned his head until it faced her.  With a shuddering sigh and closing her eyes, Raven leaned down and met his slightly slack lips with hers; her shoulder length black hair slipping down to curtain their faces.

Manson sighed under her as he sleepily responded to the kiss, his lips moving far too slowly for him to be awake at all.  With an embarrassed noise of frustration, Raven licked his lips gently and slipped her hand lower until she cupped his leather encased manhood.  The rock star moaned into her mouth, the arm that hand been covering his eyes coming down to fumble at the base of her neck.  Taking in a shuddery breath, the sleepy singer slowly opened his mismatched eyes.

Raven froze as their eyes met, her tongue still in his mouth and her hand on his crotch.  Shock and understanding slowly came into his mismatched orbs only to quickly be replaced by love as well as lust.  Then he was pulling her on top of him, settling his hands on her hips as he responding to the kiss in earnest.  The swift movement had caused a small squeak of surprise to come from the woman and the singer chuckled softly against her mouth as he slowly broke the kiss.  “Am I to assume I’ve been forgiven for my horrible behavior last night?” he rumbled out, his voice rough and throaty from lust as well as just waking up.  His nose rubbed against hers affectionately as he smiled at her tiredly.

Raven’s face went beet red as she playfully swatted his shoulder.  “Of  course I forgive you for last night you idiot!  Its not as if that’s how you treat me every day,” she hissed, slight exasperation and playfulness hidden under the embarrassment in her eyes.  Then she was kissing him again, her arms wrapping loosely around his neck.  Manson chuckled against her lips, rubbing her hips slowly as his tongue lazily swirled with hers.  After a few moment’s, the pale woman broke the kiss with a shocked look.  Had she really just done that?!

While the woman oblivious sat on his awakening manhood, Manson chuckled again as he sat up slightly to cup her cheek.  “What’s got you feeling so brave all of a sudden?” he asked, his voice playful as he smirked at her.

“I, er, were you the one who undressed me?” she asked, desperately trying to change the subject.

“Of  course I did!  If I had come back and anyone else had dared to touch you, their heads would be mounted on the top of the bus.  Now, answer my question,” he rumbled, his eyes serious as well as loving as he stared at her expectantly.

“I... I’ve missed you,” she murmured, shyly tucking a strand of her ebony hair behind her right ear.  Her hazel eyes roved to the side as a small smile curled one corner of her lips.

“Mmm, if this is how you’re gonna act, maybe I should leave more often,” the singer teased, kissing her cheek tenderly.  Raven growled in response, slapping him lightly in exasperation.  He only chuckled in response, pulling back to look in her eyes.

“Anyway, I didn’t wake you up for anything intimate so don’t get your hopes up,” Raven cautioned, trying to ignore the stab of pain in her heart when Manson’s face fell.  All laughter left the singer’s eyes for deep disappointment as well as a heart breaking sadness.

“So why  did you wake me up?” he asked softly, his hands continuing to rub the swell of her hips.

Unable to take just how crestfallen the rock star looked, Raven leaned forward and gave him another loving kiss.  Manson growled approvingly into her mouth, one of his hands coming up to cup the back of her head.  Sighing softly, one of the female’s hands came up to cup his cheeks as she leaned back and broke the kiss.  “I woke you up because my clothes are missing,” she responded, suddenly remembering she was surrounded by sleeping men.

“Hmmm, but I rather like seeing you in my pajamas,” he responded, his rough voice tinged with humor as he grinned at her playfully.

“You may like it but I doubt you’ll like it when something falls off and one of your band members gets an eyeful,” she groused, her smile taking the harshness out of the scolding frown on her pale face.  Manson sighed in response, possessiveness flashing briefly in his mismatched gaze before acceptance took over.

“You’re right about that.  I want such a delicious sight to be reserved only for me,” the singer rumbled, a lascivious smirk curling his lips.

Blushing as her heart fluttered at his words, Raven carefully slid off Manson; being careful to not step on Twiggy.  Once she had made it safely off the couch, she glanced up to see the groggy super star slowly sit up and hold his head in his hands.  Swearing colorfully, Manson carefully got off the couch; also being careful of the sleeping ex-guitarist.  Raven glanced up at him as he got to his feet, sympathy in her eyes.  From all the symptoms, it seemed as if Manson had one hell of a hangover.  In fact, the performer stood in place and held his head in his hands for a few moments; as if it was about to explode.  Wanting to comfort him in some way without adding to his agony, the black haired woman wrapped her arms around his thin waist and gave him a hug.

Smiling down at her, Manson slipped one of his hand down to caress the top of her head.  Smiling up at him shyly, Raven tiptoed back to the bedroom; blissfully unaware of the fact that their actions had awoken everyone.  Sitting up while chuckling softly, Pogo smirked up at the rock star; his brown eyes sparkling with mischief.  Twiggy slowly sat up as well, groggily rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and smiling at the slightly irritated looking singer.  “She’s really starting to trust you,” Ginger murmured drowsily, his eyes still shut.

Instead of answering, the hand that wasn’t still holding his head tightened into a fist and a strange hardness flashed through his eyes.  All the lingering humor in the small room quickly faded as the four men stared at their leader cautiously.  “Yes,” Manson hissed quietly, his other hand slowly slipping down to also curl into a fist.

“Mare?” Jeordie whispered, slowly getting to his feet and grabbing the other man’s pale right hand in both of his.  The ‘Antichrist Superstar’s’ head whirled to face him, a wall of rage and betrayal coming over his naked face.

“Marilyn!  She’s not fucking Dita!  For whatever reason you’re starting to do this shit, stop it,” the ex-guitarist hissed, yanking on the performer’s tattooed arm harshly.  Twiggy had seen his ex-lover do this before when he was beginning to shut down emotionally and he wasn’t about to allow that.

As if snapping out of a dream, Manson staggered for a bit before looking up with fear all over his pale face.  “Thanks Jeordie,” he murmured shakily, pulling his arm free and staggering into the room Raven had gone into.  Walking into the room, the off balance looking super star shut the door behind him and lifted his head to look for Raven.  The sight in front of him made his jaw drop to the floor and his previous ill humor disappeared.

In front of him, Raven was bent over and searching through the piles of clothing on the floor; seemingly unaware of the fact that her pajama pants had fallen down and that her purple panties are exposed.  Clearing his throat as his manhood came to full attention in the black leather pants he had put on last night, Manson quickly averted his eyes.  “Erm, Raven, your pants,” he hissed in a strained voice, desperately trying to ignore the pulsing of his arousal.

“Huh?  Oh shit!” she gasped out, mortification in her voice as she pulled the borrowed pajama pants up.  Her embarrassed hazel eyes shot up but all of that disappeared for concern when she saw just how out of sorts Manson looked.

Despite the evidence of his arousal being outlined in his tight pants, the normally amorous man was simply looking away from her; strain apparent on his pale face.  “Marilyn?  What’s wrong?” Raven whispered, concern filling her voice as she moved awkwardly toward him; both arms busy holding on her borrowed pajamas.

“When?” he asked simply, his mismatched gaze fixed on the left wall of the room and a slightly haunted tinge to his voice.

“Huh?” gasped the pale female, coming to a stop inches from him and tilting her head in confusion.

“When are you going to let me see you, touch you, taste you,” he growled, his voice tortured as well as heartbroken.

All feeling left her body and it was all she could do to not slip to her knees.  “ Will there ever be a time where you’ll let me in enough to actually have sex with you?” he continued, his voice soft and shaky as if he was holding back tears.  Both his hands were curled in tight, shaky fists by his side as he swallowed thickly.  Raven could only stare at him, panic as well as guilt beginning to rise within her.

She had expected this question sooner or later and she wasn’t exactly sure how to handle it.  She didn’t even know the answer herself but at this moment it seemed that her inner demons were eating her boyfriend alive.  “I... I’m not sure  if I’ll ever be comfortable with the idea of being naked around you but I have an idea about what all this is really about,” she responded quietly, fiercely fighting the panic beginning to rise within her.

Inside, her inner self was beginning to go into full on panic mode.   ‘Oh my god!  You’re not seriously going to do it are you?!’ her inner self screamed, almost making her wince inwardly.  Gathering her scant resolve, she waddled awkwardly toward the bed and sat on it while still facing Manson.  “But I know how to show you just how much I trust you,” she whispered, her voice shaky and clogged with tears as her now shaking hands reached for the buttons of the loose, black silk shirt she wore.

“What do you...  Raven?  What are you doing?” came his sullen, then shocked reply.  Knowing she wouldn’t be able to do this if she looked up at him, the shaking female kept her focus on the buttons her numb fingers were undoing one by one.

Her vision beginning to triple from her tears and her breath hitching oddly, Raven continued until the baggy shirt hung slightly open on her.  “Raven, I didn’t mean...  Christ, just stop,” came a distraught, lust filled male voice from a lot closer than before.

“No, this might be as ready as I’ll ever be,” she responded in a broken, shaky voice as she began to slide the black silk of the shirt down her porcelain shoulders.

All of a sudden she found herself pinned to the bed, Manson hovering over her with a guilty look on his face.  With gentle hands, he carefully rebuttoned her shirt while looking down at her as little as possible.  “B-but...,” she began to protest, only to be hushed by an achingly tender kiss on her lips.

“I don’t want this when it obviously still bothers you so much.  I’m sorry for what I said.  Shit happened last night and it’s fucking with my head so please, stop,” he pleaded, lovingly pulling her shirt up onto her shoulders as his guilt filled eyes stared into hers.

Whimpering softly, Raven reached up, wrapped her arms around the performer’s neck and began to sob.  “I’m so sorry!  It’s not that I don’t trust you it’s that...,” she gasped out, her voice distorted by her harsh crying.

“Shhh, shhh, I know hun.  I know your reasons.  I shouldn’t have tried to push you like that,” he responded in a stricken voice, holding her tight against him as he began to rock her back and forth.  On the inside he was enraged at himself as well as afraid.  He knew himself well enough to know a shitstorm was coming and he hoped desperately he wouldn’t lose Raven in the fray.

Johnny, who had been dead asleep on the couch, shot up as he heard the door to the suite open and close quietly.  “Raven?  Is that you?” he asked the dark shape that was now in the room with him.

“Huh?  Johnny?  What are  you doing sleeping out here?” came a familiar female voice as the light came on.  Both of them blinked owlishly, slowly adjusting to the light as the groggy actor got to his feet.

“Brian’s not with you is he?” he asked, stifling a yawn behind his hand as he leaned against the couch.

“No, he and the others had to get back on the road,” Raven answered, a slight look of mortification flashing through her eyes as she avoided the movie star’s gaze.  Almost immediately she was swept up in a rough hug as he held her in an almost bonecrushing grip.

“What happened?” he whispered into her ear, his stubble rubbing slightly against her cheek.  It was then the overwrought female collapsed into sobs, glad for the comfort of the actor’s strong arms holding her up.

A half hour and a cup of hot cocoa later, Raven was staring into her mug while Johnny looked down at her with concern.  “It almost sounds as if he’s starting to withdraw,” the actor remarked.

“Yeah, he’s  never done anything like that before nor has he said anything like that.  My only question is why?  Did I do something wrong?  Should I move faster?” the depressed Raven replied, spinning her cup between her hands.

“It’s nothing you did sweetie, it’s just his own demons acting up.  The guy has been through hell with relationships and seems to have a subconscious urge to push those closest to him away.  From what I can see so far, you’re the closest he’s ever gotten to another person,” Johnny replied gently, reaching forward and placing a hand over her scabbed left wrist.  Raven smiled sadly up at him, moving a strand of her ebony hair behind her ear.

“That doesn’t surprise me, he told me something similar.  Dita probably only made that problem worse,” she responded quietly, pulling her hand out from under Johnny’s to take a sip of her cocoa.

“That woman...  She’s the closest thing he had to a true love.  Then she completely tries to change who he was once they were married.  The divorce, as well as what she started doing after, broke him,” he spat out bitterly, glaring down at the table with rage filled brown eyes.

“This is only going to get worse isn’t it?” Raven asked in a small, frightened and yet sad voice as she looked up at the movie star across from her.  Johnny’s head shot up and his nearly black eyes met hers with sympathy as well as a little fear of his own.

“I’m afraid of how much more worse it  could get.  He’s never been as close to anyone as he is with you.  You’ve even made him feel guilty for sleeping with groupies.  There’s no telling just how much worse this will get,” Johnny answered, a grim but sympathetic look on his face as his eyes met her hazel gaze.

“Whatever happened last night seems to have sped it up,” Raven sighed sadly, taking another sip of her cocoa.

“So what now?” the actor asked gently, watching her closely.

“We wake Amanda up, pack, get to the airport and go home.  Whatever he’s going through, I’m going to take it one step at a time and stay by his side,” she replied, her determined gaze meeting his; earning a smile from the star across from her.

Waking Amanda up had been an adventure in and of itself, the curly haired female turning into a whirlwind of acidic words and thrown objects.  After facing mortal peril, the pair had finally managed to placate the snarling female enough with a cup of coffee to tell her what was going on.  Both Raven and Johnny decided it would be best to leave the still irate female in the dark about Manson’s behavior last night.  After Amanda had left the mentality of a grizzly just woken up from hibernation, the trio began packing and ate a quick breakfast before heading out.  From there it was only a short drive to the airport and a quick jaunt on an airplane.

Once their plane landed, Johnny helped both Amanda with their luggage and hailed a cab for them.  As the actor and Amanda loaded the luggage into the back, he found himself watching Raven closely.  The pale woman had been quiet the entire trip, only staring at the row of seats ahead of them until the plane landed.  “Raven?  You okay?” he asked, heaving the last suitcase into the nearly full trunk.  The silent woman startled slightly, looking up at him with eyes that were far away.

“Huh?  What did you ask Johnny?” she murmured dully, her voice hollow and lifeless as she met his gaze.  In moments she found herself wrapped in a strong pair of arms, the spicy, slightly musky smell of his cologne filling her nose.

“Despite what he did to you, you already miss him don’t you?” the actor whispered into her ear, his newborn goatee lightly brushing her cheek.  Then she was crying while the star gently pet her hair and helped her into the taxi.  While the woman in his arms continued to cry softly, Johnny’s eyes remained fixed straight ahead.  Even Amanda getting in the car beside Raven and offering the poor girl some comfort didn’t seem to draw the movie star from his inner thoughts.

By the time the taxi had pulled up to the hotel Raven had stopped crying and was chatting quietly with Amanda about the past few days.  Johnny, on the other hand, had pulled out his deep blue phone and was glaring down at it.  “Hey Mandy, would ya take Raven inside and get her comfortable.  I’ll be right up with the bags,” he requested softly, slowly getting out of the car and beginning to unload the bags.

“Sure thing Johnny,” the curly haired woman replied, understanding in her green eyes as she went inside.

Raven watched her friend go in before looking back at her friend, who was now holding up a phone and dialing a number.  Taking a few long strides towards the stiff, angry actor, Raven placed a firm hand on his jacket covered arm and looked up at him with pleading eyes.  To her relief, the star smiled reassuringly down at her.  “I’m not gonna yell at him.  I just wanna talk to him about a few things,” he assured, closing his phone so he could focus on her.

“Don’t make him feel worse, okay?  When I had to leave...  I’ve never seen...  He started to cry Johnny.  He was shaking while he held me and was crying,” Raven whispered, a stray wind blowing a strand of black hair in her face.

The lightly goateed actor turned toward her, surprise in his dark eyes as he stared down at her.  Disbelief, hope and downright shock whirled within his eyes’ dark depths as he seemed to consider something.  “Don’t worry, just get inside before people start to recognize you.  Jerome probably isn’t here right now and I doubt you want to deal with a rabid mob,” Johnny advised, a gentle smile on his slightly tanned face.

“Yeah, you’re right about that,” Raven grumbled, beginning to head inside to join her childhood friend.  Once the pale woman had left, the actor immediately flipped open his phone and dialed the number he had already pulled up on his phone.

“Brian, I need to talk to you about a few things concerning Raven,” he said into the phone, his voice holding a slightly angry tinge.

Raven and Amanda rode in the elevator, the curly haired woman animatedly talking about her date with Ginger.  The pale woman beside her smiled happily, her heart soaring to hear the excitement in her friend’s voice.  She had never heard the tiny woman so happy or flustered about a man before and she dared to hope that maybe Amanda was falling for the drummer.  Ginger was the most normal person in the band and was exceedingly kind to those around him, Raven had no doubt he would treat her roomie well.  “Other than having to wrangle Pogo for the rest of the night, it had been magical,” Amanda sighed, her voice holding that stereotypical lovesick tone as she stared blankly at the elevator door.

As the reflective steel doors slid open, Raven’s reply died on her lips.  It almost looked as if there was a man waiting outside their room.  Shrugging it off as someone waiting outside the door right next to hers, the black haired woman began to lead the way down the hall.  As they got closer, her heart began to sink as she grew more and more suspicious it  was their door he was waiting in front of.  It was at that time she realized she also recognized the male and something about him made her feel a deep, instinctual fear.

“I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me Johnny!  The things I said to her, the things I did...,” gasped Manson’s tortured voice from the other end of the phone.

“Bri, calm down.  What the hell happened last night?  Raven kept mentioning that something catastrophic went on but she didn’t say what,” Johnny replied, sounding baffled as well as a bit shocked.

“I nearly fingered her on stage, in front of thousands, on a camera that was recording video of this tour.  As if that wasn’t enough, I let my own doubts get the best of me the next day and caused her even  more trauma,” he hissed, his voice sounding oddly strangled and a soft thud was heard in the background.

“Brian!  Brian calm down!  She’s not going anywhere!  Hell, she even already misses you,” the actor replied, all his lingering anger fading for a frustrated pity.

“Why aren’t you yelling at me?  You, of all people, should be ripping my head off!  You’re her friend,” the singer berated shrilly, still sounding like he was crumbling apart.  Another dim thud was heard in the background.

“ Brian !  I need you to pull yourself together and listen to me carefully.  You need to tell me what happened last night before Raven went on stage.  She’s forgiven you for what happened and that’s good enough for me but right now I need to know what set you off,” Johnny pleaded, running a hand through his nearly chin length hair.  He found himself amazed at how fast he had gone from wanting to give the man a piece of his mind to wanting to comfort him.  From the sounds of it, Manson was already punishing himself more than enough for what happened.

“It was Dita.  She showed up at the concert backstage and I ran into her.  She... fuck just seeing her screwed with my head.  All the memories...  Some of the things she said made me start to question Raven’s motivations,” the singer whispered softly, sounding a bit broken.  It almost sounded as if he hated the fact he had doubted Raven at all.

“Well that certainly explains a few things.  Have you told her this?” the star asked, pinching the bridge of his nose as his eyes shut wearily.  Once again the meddlesome pin-up model had shown up and thrown Manson’s emotions into a blender.  Why couldn’t she just leave the poor guy alone?

“No, I doubt Dita will be bothering either of us again.  I think I made it pretty clear to her that I didn’t want to see her,” Manson snarled, sounding a bit more like his old self as some of his innate rage flared.

“So why on Earth did you start doubting Raven’s motivations after something that manipulative cunt said?” Johnny ventured, trying to hide the worry he felt.  If it was Dita that had planted the idea in his head they were in a lot more trouble than he thought.

“As crazy as it sounds, some of it got me thinking about our relationship.  I know we’ve only spent a few days together total but we’ve been together for a month now.  The only thing she told me was a very vague tale about her exes.  Although she explained why we haven’t had sex yet I still found myself wondering about it,” the rock star murmured softly, sounding deeply ashamed.

“Ugh, really Bri?!  Raven’s the  last  one I would ever think would have a hidden agenda!  Did she even tell you how we met?  I ran into her sobbing in a park while you were... occupied.  When I sat next to her to give her comfort, she obviously recognized me but treated me as just another person,” the actor ranted, a bit of anger rising within him at his friend’s stupidity.

“I know!  I should have known better but I acted before thinking.  It certainly doesn’t help she has told me virtually nothing about herself.  Did you know she’s obsessed with me?” the performer huffed, sounding as if he was pacing slightly.

“ Was obsessed with you, according to her.  Don’t worry, you should know better than anyone that sometimes people don’t want to share things that are painful.  I’m sure she’ll open up to you in her own time,” Johnny assured, rolling his eyes slightly at how thick the rock star could be.  Manson had  never shared his painful past with any of his exes and very few of his friends so he had very little room to complain.

“Yeah, yeah.  Stop talking to me like I’m an idiot.  How’s she holding up anyway?” Manson asked, a bit of concern slipping into his baritone voice.

The object of the current conversation outside was approaching the hotel room slower and slower, her sense of dread growing in her stomach.  Amanda was now looking at her with outright worry, her tiny hands resting on the pale female’s bare right arm.  “Raven, what is it?  What’s wrong?” the concerned, brown haired female asked, looking down the hall.

Raven only shook her head, recognition slamming into her full force as they drew ever closer.  All of a sudden she was pulling away from her childhood friend, trying desperately to run back to the elevator.  It was all Amanda could do to hold her friend in place, having to practically dig her heels into the carpet to stop her roomie’s flight.  “Raven, what on Earth?!” she gasped, some brown strands of her curly hair coming to hang in her face.  As the confused female turned to look at the strange man, he turned to face the commotion.

A chilling, emotionless, malicious grin twisted his mustached mouth as he began to walk toward the pair of girls.  “Hello Meagan, aren’t you happy to see your old man after all these years?” he asked in a falsely friendly voice that was dripping with venom, his arms spread open as if for a hug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Phooo that last one took awhile. It’s surprisingly hard for me to write Manson as a jerk. Anyway, onwards to adventure and so forth. Also, for those of you who are curious, Pogo was planning on grabbing ahold of Raven, bending her backward and planting a big kiss on her on stage after the last song. Yeah, kinda obvious why he chose not to.)


	21. Shades of Blackness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: ‘So you hate me? And I hate you! You know what, you know what? It's all in the family.’ - All in the Family by Korn ft. Fred Durst.

“You stay the hell away from her!” Amanda snarled, immediately throwing herself between the grinning man and her childhood friend.  Raven, who was now reduced to sitting in a stunned puddle on the floor, was staring up at him with fear filled eyes.

“I’m just here to congratulate her and give her a present,” the stranger replied, looking injured.  The man was absolutely huge, towering over them at 6’ 6”.  His arms fairly rippled with muscle and a brown, cowboy style mustache crowned his upper lip.  Short, curly brown hair adorned his head and a pair of mean blue eyes glared down at the females despite his friendly tone.

Then he was reaching into a pocket of the light jacket he wore and throwing something in front of her.  A strangled sob left Raven’s trembling lips as she looked down at the object.  On the carpet in front of her was a small, brown leather book, the golden title ‘Bible’ glaring up at her like an accusation.  “I thought you’d need it more than me, considering who you’re dating,” he stated jovially, his voice dripping with dark enjoyment of her pain.

“What the fuck!  Get the hell out of here you asshole!” Amanda fairly screamed, her pale face going red with rage and veins standing out in her thin neck.

“Mandy, what would your parents think of that mouth!  Now, if you’ll excuse me, I want a few words with my daughter,” the huge man snarled, his grin turning into a snarl of aggression as he shoved the thin female out of his way.  He wrapped a huge, meaty hand around Raven’s thin arm and pulled her roughly to her feet, eliciting a cry of pain from the female.

He reached with the hand that wasn’t holding Raven and pulled the keycard for the room from her pocket.  Amanda launched herself at the man only to be swatted to the side like a mere fly.  Glaring down at the small female as she tried to pull herself to her feet, the man slipped the keycard into the slot and opened the door.  “We’ll only be a few moments Mandy,” he sing-songed, his eyes holding dark promise as he shut the door.

“Oh, she already misses you man.  The sooner you can get this tour done, the better,” Johnny replied, sighing heavily.  Then something slammed into his side, nearly knocking the actor over.  Franticly trying to compensate, the star looked to his right to see what had run into him.  To his shock, he saw a panting and disheveled Amanda.

“Whoa!  Amanda, what?” Johnny gasped, unaware he still gripped his phone to his ear.

“Johnny!  Raven’s father!  Here!  He has her!” she spat out, desperately tugging his arm toward the glass doors of the hotel.

“Raven’s father?” the actor asked, tilting his head in confusion as the frantic woman continued to pull him towards the lobby.

“What?!  Johnny get the fuck in there!” Manson screamed, nearly deafening the star.  Clicking the phone closed with a grimace, Johnny began to sprint into the building.  As he ran, he began dialing a number frantically.

Manson swore loudly, throwing his phone against a wall and shattering it.  Then he drew himself to his full height, rage filling his mismatched gaze.  Dressed in all black, he made quite an intimidating figure.  With a snarl plastered on his face, the singer slammed the door open and stomped into the main room of the bus.  “Change of plans Tim, we won’t be making the rest of our concert venues on time,” he hissed, rage pouring off him in waves.

“Bri, what happened?” Twiggy gasped, looking up at his ex with concern.

“Raven’s father showed up,” the singer spat, his hands curling into tight, shaky fists.

Throwing Raven into the back of the couch as the door shut, the hulking man turned to lock the portal behind him.  “Wouldn’t wanna get interrupted.  Been so many years and there’s so much to catch up on,” he growled cheerfully, cracking his knuckles ominously.

Gathering her scant courage, Raven pulled herself to her feet and turned to face the monster she had feared for so many years.  “Terry, you need to leave,” she snarled, glaring at her father with more bravado than she truly felt.

“Now, I know you didn’t just call your father by his first name; let alone tell him to leave,” he replied softly, his huge hand reaching to undo his belt buckle.  All her bravery left in a flood as the man before her pulled the long, leather strap free of his jeans.  Unwelcome memories of her childhood as well as her exes filled her head as he raised the belt up, grasped it in two hands and snapped it.

“That was very naughty and we all know what happens to naughty girls,” he hissed, a malicious grin spreading his lips as the brown strip of leather came sailing down towards her.

Johnny was painfully torn between waiting for the elevator and just running up the stairs.  The only thing that kept him from simply leaping up the stairs was the fact that the rooms were near the top of a twenty story building.  Amanda was just as impatient as he was, pacing behind him until the elevator dinged open in front of them.  They both dashed inside, hit the door close button and hit the floor number.

After what seemed to be an agonizing ride, Johnny and Amanda dashed out of the elevator as soon as the doors opened.  Despite being slightly out of breath and injured from earlier, Amanda was able to keep up with the fit actor as they sped to the closed door.  A chilling noise of something hitting someone came from behind the closed doors as they got closer.

Wasting no time, Johnny braced himself and ran into the solid door full bore.  The wooden door only rattled in its frame, not giving in one bit despite the mighty blow the actor had given it.  Rubbing his sore shoulder, the goateed star backed up to try again; taking a few deep breaths to ready himself.  “Who’s out there?” came a gruff, male voice from the other side of the door.

“Johnny Depp and a woman I know as Amanda.  We’re friends of Raven’s and we aren’t leaving until we’re certain she’s safe.  The police as well as my bodyguard and his brother are on their way,” the actor spat angrily, his chin length, black hair hanging slightly in his face.

“Johnny Depp eh?  So the papers weren’t lyin’ ‘bout this slut’s activities,” came a furious reply followed by the sound of a hard hit and a female cry of pain.

“Leave her the fuck alone!” Johnny roared, practically seeing red as he ran into the door with everything he had.

“She’s  my fucking daughter and it’s high time I took the reins on her life,” came a vicious snarl from the other side as the door merely cracked a little from the impact.  Another female cry of pain, followed by a cracking noise followed.  It was at that point Johnny lost all reason.  His vision went pure red as he slammed into the solid door again and again.  All his efforts brought was laughter and a slight giving of the door.

In the middle of his efforts, Johnny felt a strong hand wrapping around his arm and stopping him.  “Its okay now Mr. Depp.  Let Jerry take care of it before you dislocate your shoulder,” came gentle, baritone voice.  Shaking his head, the actor came back to himself to find Charlie holding onto him while Jerome backed into ramming position.  As the linebacker like bodyguard slammed into the door, Johnny could dimly hearing sirens faintly arriving downstairs.

After a few charges, Jerome managed to knock the door in and leapt into the darkness of the room.  Johnny moved to join him, only to be stopped by Charlie’s tight hold on him.  “Jerry made me promise to watch you,” the chauffeur apologized, his blue eyes fixed on the darkness of the room in front of them.  Amanda, who wasn’t restrained, rushed forward into the darkness; calling for her friend.

“Let me go!  I have to get to Raven!” Johnny snarled, struggling in Charlie’s tight grip.

“Not until Jerome gets ahold of that guy,” Charlie replied, worry swirling in his gaze.  Then, as if the limo driver had summoned him, Jerome came stumbling out of the room; holding Raven’s father in a very restraining hold.  The bodyguard’s thick arms wrapped around the front of his shoulders, joining hands behind his head and forcing it forward.

Despite the fact that Jerome was quite a bit more muscular as well as slightly taller, he was struggling to hold the man in his grip.  The crazed man practically frothed at the mouth, twisting back and forth in an effort to get free.  “Mr. Depp, ya best get in there.  He messed her up real bad,” the bodyguard whispered, a grim look on his face as he began to move towards the elevator with his struggling prisoner.

When the door had started to come down, her father had released her to grab a knife from the kitchen.  Raven didn’t stop to ask questions, she simply ran to the bathroom and locked herself in.  Curling up in the tub, the frightened female flinched every time the door was slammed into.  As the door to the hotel room finally gave, she hunched up and covered her head in her hands.  Small, frightened sobs left her as her emotions began to effectively shut down.

She was dimly aware of the scuffle going on out in the living room and of a familiar female voice calling her name.  “Manda?” she gasped out dimly, poking her head out cautiously around the shower curtain.

“Meagan!  Its me!  Where are you?” came a frantic yell from much closer, making hope rise within the shaking female.

“Amanda?!” she cried out, clambering out of the tub and unlocking the bathroom door.  All of a sudden she found herself enveloped in a tight hug as her best friend nearly tackled her to the floor.

“Meagan, oh thank god you’re alright,” Amanda sobbed, pulling back to take a look at her battered friend.  The sight she was greeted with made her gasp.

Raven’s face was badly bruised and both eyes were blackened.  Her left eye was so swollen it was unable to open and her lips were swollen and split in several places.  Bruises also peppered her pale arms and a trickle of blood was dripping from the corner of her mouth to her chin.  The shaken female’s one open eye was wide and filled with fear as she looked at her pre-school friend.  “What the hell did he do to you?” Amanda hissed, anger and sympathy filling her voice as she hugged the other female tightly.  The pale woman only began to sob softly, shaking from left over fear.

It was about then that both of them became aware of a male voice frantically calling Raven’s name and that the voice was getting closer to the bathroom.  Raven flinched at first, hiding her bruised face in her friend’s shirt.  “Its just Johnny Megs, I’ll let him know where we are,” Amanda reassured, rubbing her roomie’s shaking shoulders.

“Johnny!  We’re in here!  The bastard really did a number on her,” the curly haired woman yelled, not loosening her hold on her frightened friend.

The actor came skidding into the scene, nearly falling over and sliding past the door in his haste to get to Raven.  His eyes were open wide and he was panting heavily as he walked slowly into the bathroom.  “Raven?  It’s just Johnny.  You’re safe now.  Jerome took your... that man downstairs and handed him over to the cops,” he reassured gently, keeping his distance from the shaking and traumatized female.

Letting out a strangled, inarticulate cry, Raven launched herself at Johnny; nearly knocking the star off his feet.  Letting out harsh, breathless sobs, the frightened female clung onto the actor tightly; burrowing her abused face in his black t-shirt.  Making soothing noises, Johnny gently wrapped his arms around Raven and carefully lead her into the living room.  Awaiting their arrival was Charlie and a female cop who had a sympathetic look on her face.

Raven let out a frightened whimper, tightening her grip on Johnny as they drew closer; as if she was afraid she would be taken from the safety of his arms.  “Ms. Starling?” the police woman asked gently, staying where she was to help put the battered female at ease.  The pale woman only nodded, still hiding her face in Johnny’s black shirt.

“Easy Raven, they just want to help,” he assured, placing a steadying hand on the area between her shoulders.

“Ma’am we have a medical team waiting for you downstairs.  I would advise you go with them,” the police woman urged gently.

“C-can they come with me,” Raven squeaked out, tightening her hand in the material of the actor’s shirt as she continued to cower.

“Of course we’re coming.  We aren’t going to leave you alone after what happened,” both Johnny and Amanda assured in unison.

“Lets get you downstairs and examined,” the police woman offered gently, leading the way out the still open door.  Charlie followed close behind them, his blue eyes filled with a mixture of worry and rage.  The chauffeur had only known the shy woman a short time but he already felt a strong kinship with her.  What the man who dared call himself her father had done to the soft spoken female made him feel sick in the pit of his stomach.

The small group rode down the elevator in silence, Raven startling slightly when it stopped at the lobby.  “It’s okay sweetie,” the blonde police woman assured as the door opened and she lead the way into the lobby.

“Did you call... Manson?” Amanda asked reluctantly, spitting out his name as if it tasted bad.

“Was already on the phone with him when this went down.  I imagine he’s already on his way,” Johnny replied, rubbing Raven’s shoulder as they moved toward the paramedics that were setting up a stretcher for her.

Raven clung tightly to Johnny the entire time they examined her, only letting go when they loaded her onto the ambulance.  The actor and her best friend clambered into the tiny space, one sitting on each side of her.  The black haired female clung onto Johnny as soon as he was sitting, her entire body shaking.  “Is he really coming?” she asked in a quiet, timid, broken voice.

“Of course he is!  Raven, when he overheard about your father, he urged me to go in and help,” the actor assured, looking down at the shaking female with confusion.  Where had this doubt come from?  Had Brian treated her so badly that she thought he simply didn’t care about her?  His already roaring rage was fanned by the thought and he grit his teeth.

“But it must be such a bother for him to turn around and start coming all the way back just for me.  What about his concerts?” she whimpered, tears beginning to wet the black material of his shirt.  Johnny only chuckled lightly, his anger fading as the truth came to the surface.  Then, with a gentle but firm hand, he lifted Raven’s bruised face until she was looking up at him.

“Sweetheart, he loves you.  He loves you and feels very protective of you.  I don’t think anything would keep him from your side,” the actor murmured softly, unaware of Amanda watching him closely.  Understanding and sympathy shone in her green eyes as she watched the scene before her.

A huge commotion broke out in the once quiet hospital as an orderly tried to separate Johnny and Amanda from Raven to fill out some paperwork.  “Sir, we really need you and her to stay back and fill out some paperwork,” begged the receptionist, her red hair done up in a messy bun and frustration showing in her emerald gaze.

“No!  Please don’t make me go back there alone!” Raven wailed, her voice full of abject fear and panic as she clung tightly to the unmoving actor.

“Ma’am, it’s alright.  Give me the paperwork so they can fill it out back there.  I’ll bring it to you when it’s done,” the female police officer interjected, giving the receptionist a hard look.

“I... Oh, alright,” the receptionist sighed, handing over a clipboard with a thick pile of papers on it.  The orderly blocking Johnny and Amanda moved out of the way as a pair of nurses began to move the gurney down the long hall.  The actor and woman kept pace with the gurney, neither of them getting too far from Raven’s side.

Manson paced the length of the tour bus, his face free of make-up for once and a frown fixed on his pale face.  His hands were clasped behind his back as he stalked back and forth like a caged lion.  Ginger and Twiggy watched him with a mixture of concern and a bit of fear.  Even the normally exuberant Pogo was quiet, watching the performer from the couch against the left side of the bus.  The only person not keeping an eye on the fuming rock star was John 5.

The pale man was staring off to the side, his bleach blonde hair hanging in his pale face.  His red painted lips were pressed into a thin line and his brown eyes were narrowed.  His arms were crossed in front of his chest and a muscle ticked on occasion in his cheek.  To the casual observer, the guitarist seemed to not care about the current situation.  The people that knew him well, however, could easily see he was both anxious and enraged.

Despite himself, observing Raven around Manson had begun to change his attitude about the woman.  He was even starting to grow a grudging loyalty and protectiveness towards her.  What had really cemented it for him was the day after Manson nearly violated her on stage and she forgave him without a thought.  Hearing that her very likely abusive father had her and was doing god knew what turned his stomach inside out.  He would let Manson have first go at him but he would certainly have a go at the remains of whatever was left.  A murderous rage beginning to burn slowly within him, John merely gritted his teeth and clenched his fists as he continued to glare to the left.

Ginger, who had been sitting on the side of the couch beside John, looked up at his bandmate with some concern.  The drummer was filled with a confusing muddle of emotions, rage, worry and sympathy all swirling inside him.  Gripping his bleach blonde haired head in his hands, the acne scarred man could only sigh.  They were all worried about Raven and desperate to get back to her.  The small, soft spoken woman had wormed her way into their little family and now she needed them.  He was sure it tore at all of them that they were trapped on this slow moving tour bus.  Yet he was also sure that no one was as affected by this as Manson.

After coming out of the room and telling them what happened, the rock star had commandeered Ginger’s phone and started pacing.  His platform boots clomped softly on the carpet as he stalked back and forth.  Every line of his body spoke of worry and rage as he moved.  His mismatched eyes glinted with a steely light and a murderous snarl was plastered on his face.  Halting for a moment, Manson looked down at the unassuming phone in his hands.  Then, with a low growl, the singer flipped it open and dialed a number.

Johnny had handed Amanda the paperwork to fill out since he didn’t know nearly as much about the situation as she did.  The police woman that had followed them in stood against a wall, looking down at Raven with worry and sympathy.  Currently, the battered female was still clinging to the actor like a lifeline; tears streaming down her bruised cheeks.  The goateed movie star merely held her, making soothing noises as he pet her hair.

The sound of Johnny’s cell phone ringing broke the moment like a soap bubble and the actor immediately flipped it open to answer it.  “Is she okay?” came a worried, yet rage filled, male voice from the other end before the star could even say a word.

“Brian?  Well, she’s not mortally wounded but the bastard really did a number on her,” Johnny replied, glaring slightly as he felt Raven stir against him.

“Sir, you know you can’t have a cellphone back here,” the police woman stated softly, her gaze sympathetic.  Amanda, who was sitting across from them both, snickered slightly at the statement.  If that woman thought she was gonna keep Manson from doing what he wanted, she had another thing coming.

“It’s her boyfriend ma’am.  He’s on tour right now and probably worried sick,” the actor replied, giving her a look that said ‘Just give us a break here.’

“Wait a minute, something about this seems familiar,” the blonde officer mused to herself, looking thoughtful.

“Let me talk to her,” Manson snarled into his ear at almost the same time.  Ignoring the female officer, Johnny gently nudged Raven’s shoulder until she pulled back to look up at him.

Her face looked tired and strained as she looked up at the actor with dim confusion.  “Hun, Bri wants to talk to ya,” Johnny cooed softly, offering her the phone.  Raven looked at the deep blue phone for a few moments before grasping it in a shaky hand.

“Hello?” she whispered into the receiver, fear tinging her quiet voice.

“Raven!  Are you okay?” came a worried reply, a faint tinge of anger in his voice.

“Manson, I’m so sorry,” she gasped out, closing her eyes as tears began to roll down her swollen cheeks.

“Why the fuck?  Raven why the hell are  you apologizing?” Manson spat out, confused exasperation in his voice.

“My fucked up life is making you put your shit on hold,” she whispered miserably, leaning into Johnny as he held her close.

“Wait a minute, are you that woman that’s been all over the magazine covers?” the Police woman asked, looking at Raven with a mixture of shock and jealousy.

“Oh would ya look at that!  I just got this paperwork all done!  You can leave now!” Amanda expressed cheerfully, handing the officer the clipboard and ushering her out the door.

“Hey wait!  I just have a few questions!” the female protested, trying to push her way back in as the door slowly slid shut.

As her childhood friend leaned against the door and panted, the oblivious Raven huddled into Johnny while holding the phone to her head.  “Oh for fuck’s sake Raven!  Of course I’m dropping my tour to come be by your side right now!  You’d do the same for me in an instant,” Manson sighed, sounding half exasperated and half shocked.

“I just don’t want to be an inconvenience,” she murmured softly in reply, making Amanda and Johnny face-palm in frustration.  She could even swear she heard Manson do a mental face-palm as everything went silent on his end.  Then there was a long inhale, followed by an equally long exhale.

“Raven, listen closely.  Are you listening?” came a very calm, slow voice that was tinged by exasperation.

“I’m listening,” Raven replied, her face still burrowed halfway into Johnny’s t-shirt.

“Good, because I wanted to make sure you heard this.  I have no idea what that man did to you, nor do I want to right now.  All I know is I have a pretty good feeling he’s been extremely abusive to you in the past.  You probably need me more than you ever have, not to mention I would go crazy if I was kept from you.  This is in no way an inconvenience, burden or anything else you wanna try and find to place the blame on yourself.  None of this is your fault,” the singer rumbled softly, his baritone voice caressing her like a soothing balm.

All of a sudden Raven broke down into heart wrenching sobs, clinging onto Johnny and the phone for all she was worth.  “Brian, he... he...  Oh god why the hell did he have to fucking find me?!” she nearly screamed into the deep blue phone she held against her ear.

Amanda, noticing that the outburst had seemed to caused an odd noise to start coming down the hall toward them, stuck her head out just to see what was causing it.  To her absolute horror, the curly haired woman saw a huge stampede of nurses and orderlies coming their way.  “Oh shit,” she gasped, quickly closing the door and leaning against it.  Then she raised her head to look at Raven and Johnny with a nervous smile.

“Erm, M-Raven you might wanna hurry that call up a bit,” she squeaked out, sweat beginning to spring up on her pale brow.

“I know, I’ll be there as soon as I can,” Manson soothed at the same time.

“What’s going on?” Johnny asked, his arms tightening around Raven slightly.

“Well, her screaming has attracted the attention of a huge amount of the hospital staff.  I have a feeling that if they find her on the phone, we could get kicked out of the room,” Amanda replied, her eyes nervously shifting to the door she leaned against.

Raven looked up at her childhood friend, weariness and fear all over her abused face.  “Mare, I have to go,” she murmured, her voice strained and reluctant.

“Why?  I can tell you still need to talk to me,” he replied, anger beginning to tinge his voice again.

“I got a bit loud and now there’s a huge group of hospital staff heading our way,” Raven replied, more tears slipping down her bruised cheeks.  She was extremely reluctant to get off the phone, Manson’s voice being the only thing that was pretty much keeping her from having a full on panic attack.

Things went dead silent on the singer’s end before a low growl came through the line.  “I will  not  be kept from you,” he snarled, dark promise in his soft, angry voice.

“I don’t have a choice,” she whispered softly before mumbling a quick goodbye and closing the phone.

Manson stared at the now silent phone, a shocked, yet furious, expression on his pale face.  Fighting the urge to simply call Johnny’s phone and demand to talk to her again, the singer began to pace the length of the tour bus again.  He hated this useless, helpless feeling he had and itched to take some action to be by her side sooner.  It was slowly driving him insane to not be with her when she so obviously needed him.  Growling in frustration, the lithe singer ran a hand through his shoulder length, ebony locks.

Then, as if he got an idea, Manson stopped in place briefly before heading up to the front of the bus.  Coming to stand beside Tim, who was currently driving, the singer leaned in close to the bassist.  His naked lips nearly brushed the bassist’s ear as he whispered, “Take me to an airport at the next city.”  Tim nodded, not flinching from the contact.  The rock star glared at the long stretch of road ahead for a few minutes before heading back into the body of the large vehicle.  Ginger and Twiggy watched him stalk by, concern on their faces as he stormed into the back room and slammed the door.

Once in the room, the super star began to pace again; a vicious snarl on his face.  His hands opened and closed reflexively as he fought against the urge to throw things.  Rage and frustration whirled within him like a storm, slowly eroding his patience as well as sanity.  If he ever got his hands on Raven’s father, he would be sure to pay back what the man did ten-fold.  Slamming a fist against a wall, the singer glared ahead at nothing as he grit his teeth.  “The next city had better be really fuckin’ close,” he hissed through clenched teeth, his hair hanging slightly in his face.


	22. Close Distance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: ‘We can’t stop here! This is bat country!’ - Raoul Duke (Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas)

    Meagan cowered in her room, staring at her locked door from her position on her small bed.  Outside the small portal, her father ranted and raved about her to her mother.  “The child is obsessed with the fucking anti-christ!  Look at the person she’s listening to!  The picture on the album is of him being crucified for fuck’s sake!  I won’t stand for such blasphemy in my house!” he roared, making the shaking child flinch.

    All around her, Marilyn Manson posters peppered her powder pink walls.  All his current CDs adorned her nightstand, all turned to face her.  She even had a few outfits in her closet that matched some of his costumes.  Her hazel eyes filled with frightened tears, the 16 year old moved some strands of her brunette hair behind her ear.  The singer was her only buoy in a sea she would have drowned in long ago.  His music was the only thing that kept her going some days.  The songs that poured out of her stereo 24/7 were a stark reflection of the inner turmoil she felt and it served as an outlet for her feelings.  The thought that it could be taken away from her honestly scared the shit out of her.  In this dark world, Marilyn Manson was the only person she truly had to lean on besides Amanda.

    All of a sudden there was a series of loud bangs on the door and she found herself fighting the urge to crawl under the bed and hide.  Holding Kathy against her chest, the young teen closed her frightened eyes and burrowed her face into the plush’s fur.  The loud bangs turned into crashes as her father began to throw himself against her door, the fragile wood cracking easily under the onslaught.  Whimpering and tightening her hold on the plush canine, the young teen shook and waited for the inevitable.

    All too soon the door gave with a loud crash, allowing her bear-like father to enter the room.  The enraged man began to rip posters off her walls to her horror.  Then he moved to the CDs on her nightstand, picking them up one by one and stomping down on them with his boots.  Finally he moved the closet, ripping noises being heard as soon as he entered.  All the frightened female could do was sob and shake as her whole world was destroyed before her eyes.

    When he was done in the closet, the huge man stomped out into her bedroom and glowered down at her.  “I’ve been far too lenient with you,” he hissed, his belt making a slithering noise as he pulled it free of his belt loops.

    “Dad, please,” she gasped out, pressing her back against the white wall her bed was flush to.

    “Naughty, evil little girls need to be punished.  You know that by now,” he snarled, snapping the brown leather strip between his hands.  A gratified smiled curled his lips as his daughter flinched in fear.

    “No, dad please,” she begged, almost trying to disappear into the wall with how hard she was pressing into it.  Her fear filled hazel eyes fixed on the belt between his meaty hands, following it as he released in with one hand and raised it.  Closing her eyes tight, the teen braced for impact as the belt came swishing through the air towards her.  To her utter shock, instead of the expected blow, she felt a very gentle pair of fingers brush her already sore cheek.

    Groaning, Raven opened her eyes blearily; not quite sure where she was for a few seconds.  All she could make out through her blurred vision were three dim shapes by her bed, one of them standing right by her head.  Clearing her bone dry throat, the groggy female slowly sat up; trying to focus her vision enough to make out who exactly was in the room with her.  As her vision slowly began to clear, memories of just where she was and what happened came back in a rush.

    With a fearful squeak, the battered female backed as far into the hospital bed headboard as she could.  The blurred shape that was standing by the bed moved towards her swiftly, causing her to flinch and whimper.  “Raven, its just me sweetie,” came a gentle, very familiar baritone as a hand came to rest tenderly on her bruised, sore cheek.

    “Manson?” she gasped out unsurely, her vision finally clearing enough to make out who was in the room with her.  Said singer was free of make-up and staring down at her with worried, mismatched eyes.  The dark circles under his eyes told her he hadn’t slept that night.  All of a sudden she found herself wrapped in a tight embrace as the rock star burrowed his nose in her hair and inhaled deeply, as if to reassure himself of something.

    “Yes,” he rumbled succinctly, a faint trace of rage under his calm voice.  His hands moved restlessly on her back as he held her close, as if he was afraid she would disappear.

    “How on earth did you get here?  When did you get here?” she asked, confusion and relief swirling in her voice.

    “Stopped in the closest city and grabbed an overnight flight, got here fairly early in the morning.  The rest of those assholes are on their way too,” he replied, his voice sounding only slightly more agitated as he pulled back to look her in her eyes.

    “The cops came in while you were asleep and wanted me to let them know if you wanted to press charges,” Amanda said from her right, watching Manson with narrowed, distrusting eyes.  The singer’s head shot up, his brown and whitish blue eyes boring into hers; rage whirling within their mismatched depths.

    “Of course she fucking is.  Look what the asshole did to her,” he snarled, a muscle ticking in his cheek from his barely contained anger.  A firm hand on his bicep made the rock star whirl to face Johnny who held up his hands to shield himself.

    “Don’t you think that should be her decision Brian?” the actor asked almost timidly, not liking the anger that swirled in the rock star’s gaze.  To his surprise, instead of blowing up, the singer merely turned to Raven with a neutral mask in place.

    “You’re right Johnny.  What would you like to do Raven?” he asked softly, his tone and manner completely different.  Raven looked up at the super star with a thoroughly stunned look.

    “I...  I don’t wanna press charges,” she replied quietly, lowering her head and bracing herself for the storm.  Instead of the anger and yelling she expected, she felt a gentle hand lift her head by the chin until her eyes met his.

    “Why, after all he’s done to you,” he whispered, concern in his eyes as he rested his pale forehead against hers.

    “Would you be able to send your father to jail, no matter how justified?” she replied softly, tears beginning to roll down her battered cheeks.  Manson startled as if shocked, pulling back to look in her hazel eyes.

    “I suppose you have a point,” he conceded reluctantly, releasing her to sit in a chair and pinch the bridge of his nose.

    “The asshole knows where the hotel is so it isn’t safe for you there.  Its looking like I’m gonna have to piss some people off and cancel the rest of the tour,” the singer murmured, his voice strained and worried.

    “Absolutely not,” Raven hissed, throwing the thin, white hospital sheets off herself and lowering herself off the bed.  Her pale face went bright crimson as she realized that she was in a very small hospital gown that barely came down to her knees and wasn’t tied very tightly in the back.  So Amanda and Johnny were getting a rather unintentional view of her panties.  Stomping harshly on the instinctual panic that began to rise within her, the determined woman stomped up to the shocked looking rock star.

    “Raven...,” he began in a slightly hoarse voice, beginning to get to his feet.

    “No, you sit down and listen to me Brian Hugh Warner,” she hissed, using his full name for emphasis.  With each word she advanced on him slowly, causing the singer to sink back into his seat out of sheer shock.

    “Am I supposed to just placidly sit by and let you put your tour on hold for me?  My father has no idea where I live as far as I know.  We should be fine if we go back to the house.  They should be done fixing it by now,” Raven sighed with a semi-exasperated look on her face as she glared down at the stunned singer.  Her pale arms crossed over her chest as she tried to ignore the embarrassed noises Amanda and Johnny were making.

    “How do you know Dita hasn’t told that scumbag where you live in order to get some information out of him?” he asked softly, concern all over his pale face as he looked up at the woman before him.  His answer seemed to throw her off a bit as she staggered in place and a slightly concerned expression knitted her brow.

    “I don’t have anything to do for awhile, why don’t Jerome and I stay with them until you get back?” Johnny suggested quietly, doing his level best to look anywhere but at Raven.  All he could see was the side but that was far more than enough.  Manson only sighed in response, worry still clouding his face as he turned to look at the actor beside him.

    “Do either of you know how much this is asking of me?” he whispered in a tortured voice, suddenly reaching forward, grabbing Raven by the waist and burying his face in her slightly chubby tummy.

    “Raven, there won’t be a moment where I won’t be worried.  Every second not by your side I’ll be wondering if you’re safe.  If the asshole has found you again,” he whispered gruffly, rubbing his cheek along the thin material covering her stomach.

    “M-manson,” Raven gasped, awe filling her voice as she rested a cautious hand on the top of his head.  His black hair felt like silk under her fingertips and she barely suppressed a small smile.

    “Brian, I can give you my word that Jerome and I won’t let anything happen to her,” Johnny assured, a grim look on his lightly goateed face.  Manson turned his head and met the star’s gaze with tortured eyes, not releasing his hold on Raven or removing his cheek from her stomach.

    “Can you guys gives us a few moments alone,” he husked out, his hands tightening on Raven’s back slightly.

    “What?!  Absolutely not!” Amanda snarled, shooting to her feet behind Raven and glaring distrustfully at the rock star.

    “Brian...,” Johnny began, only to stop when the singer shot him a pleading look.

    “Please...,” Manson whispered, almost too quiet to hear.

    “Just a few minutes.  We’ll be right outside,” the actor conceded, gently taking the still sputtering Amanda by the arm and firmly leading her outside.

    “Like Hell I’m gonna leave her alone with that fucking asshole!” the curly haired woman hissed, her green eyes narrowed in suspicion.

    “Amanda, his girlfriend just got beaten up.  I’m sure he won’t do anything horrible to her,” Johnny assured, not even giving the pair a backward glance as the door slowly slid shut.

    The silence that stretched between the two was almost a living thing, causing Raven to feel slightly uncomfortable.  Clearing her throat and squirming slightly in Manson’s tight grasp, the black haired female was unsure of what to do.  “How much do you know about me,” he whispered against her stomach, the hands on her lower back splaying out like stars.

    “Wh-wha?” she gasped out, trying to pull out of his grasp.

    “How obsessed were you?  How much information did you manage to seek out about me before meeting me?” he rumbled, his voice holding a harsh edge as he tightened his grip.  Flashes of girls before her flashed through his mind.  Girls who had used him and left him.  Girls who had taken what he had to offer and tried to use it for a free ride.  All of them telling him ‘I love you’ and ‘Only you’ over and over, almost turning into a mocking chant.

    “I... I... You were all I had,” she gasped out, fear beginning to edge into her weak voice.

    Sighing softly, Manson pulled back to look in her eyes.  “I never told you my full name Raven.  Not even once.  You’ve used it before, sure, but you’ve never had to ask for it,” he whispered, pulling back to hold his head in his hands.  More memories flooded his mind, making his heart and stomach lurch sickly.  Memories of someone just after Dita.  Someone who had been a fan but had treated him like a normal person.  Memories of trust and a sickening betrayal.

    “I-I’m sorry.  I didn’t think...  If someone did that to me, I would be really freaked out,” Raven whispered softly, sitting on the bed across from the singer.  She flung a thin white sheet over her exposed legs with a blush, doing her best to swallow the panic that rose within her.

    “No, it’s not as if that knowledge is hidden.  I guess I don’t like the idea of my girlfriend knowing more about me than I do her,” he replied, smiling bitterly as he ran a shaky hand through his ebony locks.

    Raven bit her lip slightly as she fidgeted on the bed.  He had a point.  If he had come up to her and started using her full birth name with some regularity she would have been upset too.  “My full name is Meagan Joanna Starling.  My mother’s name is Susan Alice Starling and my father’s name is Terry Ellis Starling.  They... weren’t exactly loving parents,” she whispered, staring at her blanket covered knees.

    “You have a beautiful name.  Why did you change it?” Manson asked, his voice slowly losing its gruff edge.

    “That has a lot to do with you and your place in my teen years.  That was the worst time for me.  My parents were never happy with me, sometimes showing that fact in a rather physical manner,” she began, rubbing her still bruised arm with a grimace.  Manson grimaced as well, rage and understanding flashing briefly in his mismatched orbs as he watched her.

    “I was sixteen when my aunt first introduced me to your music.  She thought I would laugh at the ridiculous lyrics but instead I latched onto it.  You quickly became the only beacon I had in a very bleak world.  Your music was one of the only things that kept me alive some days,” Raven finished, an ashamed look on her pale face as she avoided the singer’s gaze.  Inside she was panicking, bracing herself for the yelling that was sure to come.

    Instead, she found herself wrapped in a strong pair of arms as a gentle pair of lips began to caress her cheeks.  “Thank you,” he murmured, pulling back to brush her hair out of her face.

    “F-for what?” Raven stammered, her voice shocked and weak.  The only answer she got was a smirk before he began to lean forward, forcing her to lean slightly back.

    “I’m sorry for the way I’ve been acting lately.  Just been thinking about the past a lot,” Manson whispered, lowering his head to ghost his naked lips against her neck.

    “A-anyway, I eventually changed my name to Raven when I moved out at the age of eighteen.  I guess I wanted to remove myself from my past as much as possible,” the female continued, her voice shaky and unsure as the singer placed his hands on either side of her legs.  His pale fingers curled in the white sheets as he nipped her neck affectionately.

    “Sounds like we have a lot in common,” he sighed against her sensitive neck, purring in appreciation when she gasped.

    “M-manson don’t,” Raven whimpered, caught between burning desire and embarrassment.

    “Why not?” he snarled, biting her neck harshly and pressing her body to the bed with his.  A jeans covered leg forced her legs open so the singer could settle between them, drawing a frightened whimper from the female below him.

    “You’re not in your right mind right now Mare.  You’re hurt and scared, not just for me.  Something happened to you at the concert and you’ve been acting strange ever since,” Raven pleaded breathlessly, struggling to pull herself away from the agitated ‘Antichrist Superstar’.  She kept the fact that she knew about Dita to herself.  She had a feeling that if said woman was mentioned, the singer would enter a level of rage never seen before.

    Manson went stiff above her, before shoving himself off her with a snarl.  “That bastard of a father of yours puts you in fucking hospital but is gonna go free in a few weeks time.  I have to go back on tour and leave you alone with Johnny.  Not to mention a few other things I’d rather not go into,” the singer hissed to himself, growing more agitated as he began to pace around the small room.

    Raven watched him with understanding eyes before getting to her feet and wrapping her arms around him.  If she was reading him right, Manson was extremely worried.  The anger he was exhibiting was simply the only way he had of expressing it.  “Marilyn, it’s okay.  I’ll always be around Amanda, Johnny and Jerome when we have to leave the house.  I’ll even have my phone on me at all times in case I need it,” she assured, resting her cheek against the rough material of his t-shirt.  The singer went stiff in response, his hands twitching in the air above her back as his face went through a gamut of emotions.

    “Raven,” he growled in a gruff voice, looking down at her with fear filled eyes, “Christ if anything happens to you, especially after what we’ve already been through...”  His voice trailed off, broken and lost as his thin chest heaved with emotion.  Biting his lower lip hard enough to make it bleed, the rock star pulled himself away from the female holding him.  A cold, angry mask slammed into place, hiding his abject fear and worry for her.

    “Brian... don’t...,” Raven whispered, feeling sick to her stomach as fear began to fill her.  Manson was shutting down right in front of her, using his rage as a shield against the worry and pain of their impending separation.  It almost looked as if he was going into his stage persona and it frankly frightened her.

    His rage filled mismatched eyes flicked to her direction, a brief flash of tenderness and worry flashing through them before they turned hard and cold.  Instead of acknowledging her, the rock star turned his back on the female and opened the door.  “Take good care of her Johnny,” Manson snarled to the actor, slowly moving into the hall.

    “Marilyn please!  Don’t leave like this!” Raven pleaded behind him, her voice thick with tears.  Manson flinched for a moment, his breathing almost seeming to stop.

    “I love you Raven,” he whispered, turning slightly to fix her with a slightly gentle look before the mask slammed back into place.  Then, ignoring the icy glares from both the actor and Amanda, the rock star closed the door behind him and made his way out of the hospital.

    As soon as Manson was gone, Raven sighed shakily and wiped the tears from her eyes with a determined hand.  “You okay?” came a cautious male voice as Johnny peeked in the room at her.  Amanda also peeked inside, worry and anger clear in her expression.

    “Yeah, I’m okay.  Let’s get me checked out of here and home,” Raven sighed, worriedly looking out the door.  Whatever was going on, Manson wasn’t dealing with it well.  There was no telling just what he would do in this state.

    Scenery blurred outside the darkened windshield, reflecting slightly off a pair of large, black sunglasses.  A grim look fixed to his face and his hands white knuckled on the steering wheel, Manson stomped the gas pedal all the way to the floor.  As the rental car sped down the sunlit streets, the rock star found himself thinking back on things best not remembered.  One memory in particular slammed into him like a brick, causing him to suddenly pull over and put the car in park.  Tears leaving his mismatched eyes unbidden and his breath leaving him in ragged sobs, the rock star squeezed his eyes shut and fought against the coming flood.

_‘The last notes of the final song of the night rang over the crowd as he straightened to give his flock one final look.  A fine haze of machine generated smoke gave the huge, screaming crowd an almost surreal look and he felt a rush of pride fill him.  Below him were his loyal subjects, all hanging breathlessly on every single whisper or movement.  A self satisfied smirk on his make-up covered face, the rock star prowled the stage; his eyes scanning the crowd for something in particular._

_Suddenly he stopped in place, his whitish-blue and brown eyes fixing on a particular female in the crowd.  She wore a Marilyn Manson t-shirt and make-up that mirrored his own adorned her pale face.  Blood red hair framed her face and a pair of violet eyes stared up at him worshipfully.  Making a quick motion to the security guard, Manson flung the microphone to the crowd and stalked off the stage.  As soon as he climbed down the short flight of stairs leading to the back stage, he was greeted by a security guard escorted the woman before._

_The female was much shorter than him, her huge eyes giving her an almost innocent appearance.  Wonder, amazement and even love filled her face as she looked up at him.  “Wow, you’re even more beautiful in person,” she gasped in a breathless voice, her hands coming up to clasp between her ample breasts._

_“Well thank you.  You’re quite beautiful as well,” he purred, smirking as he leaned down and rubbed her pert nose with his.  She only blushed in response, smiling up at him shyly._

_“What’s your name?” he asked, gently leading her towards the backstage area with an arm behind her back._

_“Melinda,” she breathed, looking up at him with adoring eyes._

_The years that passed soon proved to be one of the best times of his life.  Melinda was always there for him, even after tours that had him away for years at a time.  She patiently put up with his endless stream of partners and massive consumption of booze.  The sex was out of this world and he felt as if his heart would break every time she gasped his name in pleasure.  He had never felt so utterly complete before._

_He came home from one of his many tours, glancing down nervously at a small, black box he held in his hand.  A shy smile adorned his make-up free face as he placed the box back in his pocket and opened the door.  Then the rock star strode confidently into his house, looking for any sign of Melinda.  Wanting what he had in mind to be a surprise, he hadn’t called ahead to alert her to his impending presence._

_With a sly grin on his face, Manson began to stalk towards the library.  It was one of Melinda’s favorite rooms, the red haired female almost always being in there reading some book or another.  As he crept closer to the slightly open door, he became aware of a very hushed sounding female voice.  Figuring it was Melinda on the phone with one of her friends and curious what she was talking about, the singer kept quiet and snuck up to just outside the portal.  “Yeah, he still doesn’t suspect a thing.  I think he’ll pop the question any day now.  Once we’re married, I can divorce him for every penny he has,” came Melinda’s gentle voice, twisted into the croon of a harpy._

_Manson’s heart went crashing through the floor as pain and rage filled him.  All it once it was all he could do to not burst in and strangle the bitch for deceiving him.  Slamming his stage persona firmly into place, the ‘Antichrist Superstar’ slammed the door open, a frightening sneer fixed on his pale face.  “M-marilyn,” she stammered, fear and understanding coming into her eyes as she allowed the phone against her head to go slack._

_“I heard everything.  You have about ten minutes to pack your shit and get out before I call the police,” he hissed icily, glowering down at the much smaller female.  Melinda shot out of the room the second he finished speaking, leaving the performer alone.  The sudden silence allowed the yawning hole left in his heart to start filling him with unbearable pain.  Letting out a breathless, strangled sob, the rock star slid to his knees and wrapped a hand in his ebony hair.  As the helpless, unbidden sobs left him, the singer punched the carpet over and over again; unable to deal with the sheer amount of pain in his chest.'_

    The pounding blended in as he felt his fist smacking down on something hard and plastic over and over.  A low growl leaving his nude lips, Manson slammed his fist down on the dashboard once more before clenching and stilling the appendage.  Gritting his teeth, the singer breathed harshly through his nose as he tried to stomp on the residual pain from the memory.  Raven was not like that!  She had never shown any interest in his lifestyle or his money.  Yet neither had Melinda.

    A low growl of frustration leaving him, the singer pulled smacked the leather covered steering wheel and leaned back.  The heels of his hands pressed into his closed eyes as he ground his teeth.  Raven was different than Melinda!  “Fuck,” he hissed, flinging his hands forward to grip the steering wheel as his eyes snapped open.  Fumbling with the keys and cranking the engine to life, Manson stomped down on the accelerator.  It was almost as if he was running from something.

    Lacy stood on the corner of the street, leaning lightly against a light post as she kept an eye out for likely customers.  A pair of shorts that were cut off at her ass adorned her hips and a tight, powder pink midriff shirt clung to her large boobs.  Light, almost tasteful make-up accentuated her features, making her easily the best looking on the streets.  So it was no surprise to her when a sleek, expensive looking car pulled up in front of her.  The dark tinted window rolled down to reveal a pale vaguely familiar face.  “Get in,” a baritone voice husked from the depths of the vehicle.

    The ride to the hotel her john picked was short and silent, most of it spent with her trying to place just where she had seen him before.  Something about his pale face was very familiar and it was driving her nuts.  Still, one in her profession simply did not ask questions so she opted to keep her mouth shut.  Her companion certainly didn’t seem like the talkative type, staying silent until they pulled up in front of a rather ritzy looking hotel.  “I’ll pay you an extra grand to answer to the name of Raven for the night,” her silent companion finally grumbled, his eyes hidden behind a pair of dark shades.

    “It’s your rodeo man, but for an extra thousand I’ll put on a duck suit and let you call me Daffy,” she answered enthusiastically.  Smiling at him brightly, she moved a strand of her ebony hair behind her ear before she got out of the car to wait for her companion.

    “Good, we’ll get along fine then,” he hissed tersely, getting out of the sleek car and tossing the keys to an idle valet.  The slightly dazed man fumbled to catch the keys for a few seconds before succeeding, watching the pair enter the hotel with a confused look.

    As soon as they got into their room for the night, her mysterious john was all over her.  His hands were everywhere at once and his lips brushed against the pale column of her neck.  “I never got your name,” she gasped out, not really expecting an answer as his eager hands began to undo the buttons of her shorts.

    “Brian,” he rasped against her flesh, his hand roughly shoving her short jeans down and allowing them to pool on the floor.  For some reason the name caused more bells to ring in her head, bells that were promptly ignored as he lifted her shirt and his mouth found a pert nipple.  All coherent thought stopped as a hand rose to fondle the breast his mouth wasn’t currently occupied with, drawing a low moan of pleasure from her lips.

    “Raven,” he sighed, almost lovingly, against her neck as he swept her into his arms.  Then his lips took hers hungrily as he gently carried her to the bed and tenderly laid her on the satin sheets.

    The way he was acting sort of threw her off.  He was almost treating her like a lover, not a prostitute.  Feeling a slight blush on her cheeks, Lacy watched her odd companion as he broke the kiss to slowly lift her top over her head.  As soon as the pink material was free of her arms, the pale man removed his sunglasses.  The unusual color of his eyes added another bell to the chorus as she watched his gaze roam over her.  “So beautiful,” he sighed reverently, his hands moving to the waistband of her white and blue striped panties to tug teasingly.

    “B-brian,” left her lips in an embarrassed gasp, the way he was acting almost making her feel like a virgin again.  The way his eyes looked at her, the careful way his hands moved over her pale skin.  All of it made her strongly recall caring hands of boyfriends past.

    Her flustered response only seemed to make the man happy, a purr rumbling from his chest as his hands left her panties to fondle her large breasts.  “Shhh.  Relax and trust me,” he assured gently, leaning forward to capture a breast with his hot mouth.  His jeans covered knee gently forced her legs open so he could nestle against her junction.  Lacy moaned in response, arching against him as her hands came to rest on his shirt covered back.

    “Brian,” she sighed lustfully, her head falling back onto the sheets.  Her dark companion chuckled against the flesh in his mouth, one of his hands coming down to brush a finger along her silk covered slit.

    “Raven, I want you so bad it hurts,” he whispered as he pulled away from her erect nipple.  He ground his clothed arousal against her to emphasize his words, a pained groan leaving his lips.

    “I’ve wanted you too,” she whispered, deciding to play along.  She was rewarded by a searing, hunger filled kiss; his hands coming to rest on her hips as he ground his arousal against her.

    Breaking the kiss with a harsh snarl, the now shaking man stared down at her with tortured, mismatched eyes.  “I need you like I need water, like I need air,” he husked out, shuddering slightly as he allowed his hands to play with the waistband of her underwear.

    “Please,” she gasped out, arousal coiling in her lower belly as she ground back against him.  He groaned in response, his hands gently playing with the elastic of her panties.  Then, with aching tenderness, the dark haired man removed her panties.

    All of a sudden, all activity stopped as her companion leaned back to look over her now naked body.  Love, lust and a burning need swirled in his mismatched orbs.  “Perfect,” he whispered in an awed voice, one of his hands rubbing her left inner thigh.

    “Are you gonna even the score,” she joked, eyeing his still clothed body.  The way his clothes clung to his thin form left little to the imagination.  She couldn’t help but wonder if he looked half as good naked as he did clothed.

    “Only half way,” he husked out, slowly slipping off his tight, black jeans.

    “Aw, that’s no fair,” she complained with a playful whine, laying back with a sigh as he lowered himself over her.  He only hummed in response, giving her a tender kiss as he rubbed her inner thighs fitfully.

    A soft moan left her lips as Lacy brought her hands up to rest on his still clothed back.  She could feel the heat of his arousal radiating on her womanhood, giving her a sensation of being touched without actual contact.  “Brian please,” she whimpered, breaking the kiss as she arched up under her shuddering companion.  The coil of arousal had tightened to near pain and tears of need lingered in her emerald eyes as she looked up at him pleadingly.

    With a soft sigh, the lithe man gently spread her thighs open to allow him to rest his manhood flush against her moist slit.  “You’re so wet,” he hissed in a soft, husky voice as he rubbed himself along her.  This action drew a low, needy moan from Lacy as she arched into the contact.

    “Briaaaaan,” she whimpered in an impatient, pained voice, her nails scratching lightly on the back of his black, long sleeve shirt.  It had been a long time since she hadn’t had to fake actual arousal and right now it felt as if her whole body was on fire.  Her entire core pulsed with need as he continued to teasingly rub himself along her.

    As he slipped himself along her, his arms shuddered and his breaths came in ragged pants.  His rock hard, pulsing erection twitched against her, drawing a shaky, pained groan from her companion.  “God, Brian please,” she begged in a strained voice, her hips undulating of their own accord in an effort to work him inside of her.  Instead of just entering her, his lips met hers in a loving kiss before he pulled away.

    Thankfully the crinkle of a wrapper made it very clear what he had pulled back to do.  Smiling up at her john, Lacy wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down into a heated kiss.  Her companion responded with a husky growl as he pressed his latex coated tip against her quivering entrance.  Breaking the kiss with a ragged pant, her dark haired partner rested his pale forehead against hers as he took her thighs in his hands and held them in a loose grip.  “This is gonna hurt a bit sweetie,” he murmured apologetically, rubbing his tip along her entrance but not entering.

    Lacy blinked a bit in confusion before deciding to go along with whatever fantasy he wanted.  Calling back to when she had been a virgin, she put an innocent look on her face and nodded nervously.  She was rewarded by another hunger filled kiss as he hilted himself within her in one thrust.  A low huff of pleasure left her as he stilled within her, peppering her neck with kisses.  Then he was moving and it was the sweetest thing she ever felt.

    Every stroke, every movement seemed focused on bringing her pleasure and drawing it out.  Soon the prostitute was making noises she hadn’t made since she was eighteen.  Wrapping her legs around his thin waist, she arched into him and softly called his name every time he thrust into her.  “Mmmm, Raven,” he hissed, hilting himself fully before slowly pulling out and thrusting into her again.  Lacy could only mewl low in her throat and cling to him for all she was worth.

    “B-brian,” she gasped out breathlessly, bringing his face to hers and kissing him deeply.  Lust and arousal roiled within her, coiling tighter and tighter within her until she felt like she would explode.

    “Raven,” he growled, brushing his lips against hers as he continued to take her slowly.

    Lacy gasped and burrowed her head into his shoulder, unable to do much more than to whisper his name over and over.  Then her vision went white as something snapped within her and her world fairly exploded with pleasure.  Her entire body went stiff as her passage contracted around her still thrusting companion.  “Raven,” he husked in her ear as he went stiff and his grip tightened around her thighs.  Then he was laying beside her, being very careful not to crush her with his weight as he tried to catch his breath.

    The black haired prostitute couldn’t help but look him in the eyes as she came down, feeling a bit stunned.  Never in her long career had a john treated her like this and she couldn’t help feeling a bit confused.  It was almost as if the man had been trying to live out a night with a lover.  She was so caught up in her musings that she nearly jumped out of her skin when she felt him pull out and wrap his arms around her.  “You can stay for the night but I want you gone in the morning,” he growled in her ear, tenderly brushing her ear with his lips.

    A bit confused by the contradiction of his actions and his words, Lacy simply shrugged before rolling away from him and curling up on her side.  No matter how sweet her companion was, he was still just a customer.  She couldn’t take anything that happened personally.  Still, she couldn’t help but smile as she felt him wrap his arms around her and nuzzle her hair.  “I love you Raven,” he sighed lovingly, one of his hands curling around her waist protectively.

    “I love you too Brian,” she replied, just to make her john happy.  After all, small things like this were often remembered when it came time to tip.  Snuggling into the warm body behind her, the prostitute simply closed her eyes and began to drift off.  As she slipped from consciousness, she could have sworn he was singing a Marilyn Manson song softly in her ear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really excited to announce that this fic has reached over 1,000 views on adult fanfiction. Thanks for all the reads! It really makes me feel as if I’m writing something people wanna read. Please keep reading and I hope you enjoy the other parts of the trilogy as well.


	23. Bittersweet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: ‘You know the thing about a shark, he's got... lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eye. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be livin'. Until he bites ya and those black eyes roll over white.’ - Captain Quint (Jaws)

Raven returned to the house with Johnny while Amanda went with Jerome to grab their belongings as well as the pets.  Despite the fact that she was happy to be sleeping in her own bed after such a long absence, the pale, bruised female found herself very hesitant to go into the house.  It was only Johnny’s reassuring presence behind her that gave her the strength to unlock and open the door.  Taking a deep breath and closing her eyes, the timid female opened the door and stepped inside.  “Wow, it’s like nothing happened in here,” Johnny breathed behind her, awe tinging his baritone voice.

Hazarding a glance, Raven found her jaw dropping from astonishment.  Sure she hadn’t been expecting everything to be broken when she got back but she certainly hadn’t expected it to be exactly the same.  “Oh wow,” she breathed, slowly moving to the left and into the kitchen.  All new cabinets adorned the walls and a new table sat in the familiar breakfast nook.  Yet, despite everything obviously being much newer, it looked the same as before.

“I don’t know if I should be amazed or excessively creeped out,” she murmured to herself as she glanced around the kitchen, strands of her ebony hair hanging in her still slightly swollen face.

“You should see the living room,” came a male reply from the right, sounding amused and yet a bit creeped out.

Sighing softly and steeling herself, Raven slowly moved towards the living room.  Yet she was still unprepared for the sight that greeted her.  Everything was the same as before, just like the kitchen.  There was even the same ugly couch sitting its position behind the coffee table and facing the T.V.  “Holy fuck.  What the hell did he do?  Rip open a hole in time and bring shit here?” whispered the astonished female, her jaw hanging open for the second time that day.

“Maybe Pogo has a photographic memory,” the goateed actor half joked, his brown eyes sparkling with humor.  His brown hair, which now reached mid-neck, was tied back in a very short pony tail.  Today he wore a pair of rather tight blue jeans and a form fitting white t-shirt.  The way his pecs stood out against the white material was nearly enough to drive Raven to distraction.

“Somehow I wouldn’t be surprised,” she sighed, looking away from the much too handsome actor with a blush.

Noticing her sudden discomfort, Johnny only chuckled and smiled.  Every day around Raven, he felt more and more attached to her.  In fact he was even starting to have awkward fantasies about her.  Fantasies that were getting harder and harder for him to ignore.  He found himself almost craving any sort of contact with her, even wanting to kiss her at times.  It was only his respect for her and Brian that kept him from acting on any of his urges.  “So how ‘bout ya show me around?” he suggested with a slight grin, affection sparkling in his brown eyes as he gazed down at her.  Sadness briefly flashed through his eyes as they moved over her still faintly purple skin but quickly vanished as she began to lead him through the huge house.

Amanda and Jerome came back with little incident, although Amanda was just as blown away as Raven was.  Soon the small group got to lugging the bags upstairs, both females shooing the males back downstairs so they could unpack.  Both Lady and Mystery were elated to be out of their crates and back home, racing around as soon as the doors to the cages opened.  Once the two animals were done stretching their legs, they proceeded to engage in a fight over the couch; Mystery quickly coming out as the victor.  Both were unaware of the amused looks of the four humans.

As the night wore on, Raven began to notice that Manson was nowhere to be seen.  Remembering what he had been like before he left, she had a pretty good idea of where he was and what he was doing.  A familiar clenching feeling beginning to fill her chest, the black haired woman snuck up to her room and locked the door.  Once the lock clicked in place, she slowly collapsed to her knees as tears began to fill her vision.  “Manson,” she whispered, pulling out her phone and staring at it sadly.

Manson stirred beside the hooker he had bought for the night as a familiar ringtone began to blare from his phone.  A light hiss leaving his naked lips, the singer pulled away from the sleeping woman as if burned before grasping his phone and flipping it open.  “Are you okay?” came a strained sounding female voice before he could even open his mouth.

“I...  Y-yeah, I’m fine,” he whispered gruffly, slowly getting out of the bed and moving away from it.  Guilt began to clamp his heart like a vice and he found himself beginning to pace nervously.

“Are you... Are you coming home?” came a broken reply, sounding more and more clogged by tears.

“Of course I am Raven,” Manson murmured, wincing as his heart twisted painfully in his chest.  It sounded as if she suspected what he had been doing and it was hurting her.  More guilt lanced through him like a spear, causing him to stagger in place and tightly squeeze his eyes shut.

“Okay,” came a breathy reply before the line simply went dead.  Staring at the black phone with worried eyes, the singer sighed and began to pull on his tight, black jeans.  At some point he had gotten rid of his shirt and he was now hunting for it on the floor.

As he searched, the prostitute stirred and slowly sat up.  “Mmmm do ya need me ta go?” she asked in a sleep muzzed voice, looking at him blearily.

“No, the room is paid for the night so you might as well stay.  Check out is at noon so be sure to be out by then,” he answered tersely, doing his best not to look at her as he rooted through the discarded sheets for his shirt.  He didn’t notice the woman looking at him more closely, recognition slowly coming into her eyes.

“You’re Marilyn fucking Manson,” she whispered, wonder slipping into her voice.  Her eyes fixed on the tattoos that rippled on his arms and shoulders as he put his tight, long sleeve shirt on.  She wasn’t too surprised when he didn’t answer, instead reaching for the sunglasses on the nightstand and slipping them on.

“And that phone call was probably that Raven person wasn’t it?” Lacy asked, a tinge of sympathy in her voice.

Manson sighed before turning to slightly face her.  “Yes,” he answered tersely before stalking towards the shut and locked door.  Lacy watched him with a slightly sad expression.  

“You know, from what I read in the tabloids, she must really love you.” she whispered softly, wondering why he was finding his pleasure with a whore instead of the woman who so obviously occupied his mind.  The rock star only froze at her comment, going stiff for a moment before his shoulders slumped.

“I really think she does,” he replied softly, barely loud enough for her to hear.  Then he unlocked the door and simply left, closing it behind him.

Raven laid on her back on her bed, an arm thrown over her closed eyes.  Tears rolled down her pale, slightly sore cheeks as her heart continued to constrict in her chest.  Although she honestly couldn’t blame him for going to someone else, it still hurt a great deal.  Just the idea that he would go to a prostitute while he was in the same town as her made her feel ill and heartbroken.  “What do you expect him to do?  Be celibate until you’re ready, if you ever are?” she admonished herself, punching the mattress under her in frustration.

A gentle knock broke her sad thoughts and she sighed.  “Yes?” she called in as steady of a voice as she could muster.

“It’s just Johnny.  Are you okay?  You’ve been in there for awhile,” came a concerned reply from the other side.

“Yeah, I’m just tired after all the traveling and what happened yesterday,” she replied, wiping her tears from her pale cheeks, being careful of hurting her battered skin as she stared at her jeans covered knees.  The only response was a soft sigh from the actor, who didn’t sound like he believed her one bit.

“If you need me or Jerome, we’ll be downstairs.  Amanda has already gone to bed,” Johnny offered before the soft sound of fading footsteps signaled him leaving.

Once she was alone again, the distraught woman gazed up at the poster on the wall by her bed.  “I just don’t know what to do.  Is this relationship even fair to you?” she whispered, more tears filling her hazel eyes.  The image of Manson wearing a nazi-esque uniform blurred in her vision as she released a watery sigh.

“Should I just let you go?  What’s the right thing to do here?” Raven sighed, more tears rolling down her pale, purple and blue splotched cheeks as she moved a strand of her black hair behind her ear.

The sound of running boots and a frantic knocking out of her door startled her out of her thoughts, fear filling her as she stared at the closed door.  “Raven?  Raven are you okay?” came a nearly frantic sounding male voice from the other side.

“What the hell Brian?!  You probably scared her to death!” scolding another male voice from much further away.

Raven sighed before getting to her feet and going to the door.  Opening it slightly, she peeked out to see Manson staring at her with worried, guilt filled mismatched eyes.  “Come in,” she whispered, hanging her head slightly as she backed away from the door to allow him to enter.  The singer didn’t waste time, immediately moving into the room and shutting the door behind him.  The pale female moved to her bed, sitting on the red sheets while still hanging her head.

Instead of pausing to look around, Manson was kneeling before her; pulling on her left wrist insistently.  Knowing what he wanted to check, Raven offered the appendage with no protest; watching him as his examined the still scabbed flesh.  Bits of the scab flaked off as he gently brushed the wound with his thumb, a relieved noise escaping him.  “Manson?” came a broken, female voice, making the rock star raise his head to meet her eyes.  The amount of sadness and heartbreak in the hazel orbs took his breath away and his heart twisted painfully in his chest.  The bruises on her face only helped to twisted the knife and he sucked in a pained breath.

“Raven, I’m so fucking sorry,” he whispered in a gruff voice, his throat working as he swallowed thickly.  It almost seemed as if he was fighting back tears.

“I’ve been thinking,” she continued in the same soft, broken tone, her gaze shifting to the right as she stared at a wall to avoid his gaze.

“Don’t... don’t leave me,” he gasped out, his heart almost stopping in his chest.  Fear filled him as he got to his feet, his hands grabbing both of hers in a tight grip.  If she left, he was sure he would break and never be able to repair himself again.  The woman before him had grown to mean more to him than anyone else had in his long life.  She had forgiven him for everything he had done so far and he was sure he would never find anyone that came close to loving him as much as she did.

“But... what happens if I’m never comfortable enough to have sex with you?  What kind of relationship is that for someone like you?  Would it be fair of me to continue to put us both through this?” she asked quietly, more tears silently slipping down her pale, bruise covered cheeks.  Manson sighed, half out of relief and half out of understanding as he sat beside her on the bed.  A clothed arm wrapped around her shoulders, pulling her tight against him as he rubbed her arm.

“Why worry about things that might never come to be?” he asked quietly, holding her close as he gazed down at her.  Instead of pulling away like he had feared, the woman merely snuggled into his chest, fisting a hand tightly in the black material of his shirt.

“It just hurts so much to know that you’re out with some other woman while I wait for you to come back,” she whispered, beginning to cry into his shirt as her heart constricted in her chest.  Just the thought of what he had been doing only a short while before brought her a huge amount of heartache.

Instead of answering, Manson merely tugged her chin, being gentle with her wounded face, until her head turned to face him.  Then his lips met her still slightly swollen ones in a tender, apologetic kiss as the hand on her chin moved to cup her cheek.  Raven relaxed into the chaste kiss, smiling slightly as he broke it to look in her eyes.  “I’m sorry for hurting you like this,” he murmured in a gruff voice, his thumb gently brushing her cheek.

“No, I’m sorry I’m so fucked up that you have to go to another woman to have sex,” she replied, her smile turning sad as she reached up to cup his make-up free face.  She didn’t like the pain and guilt she saw swirling in his mismatched eyes.  She knew she should be the one who felt betrayed and angry but all she could feel was sorrow for his pain.  Pain that she knew she caused.

“Don’t apologize for that, not ever again.  This is  my fault, not yours!” Manson snarled, shaking her lightly before meeting her lips with a searing kiss.  He poured all of his love, lust and possession into the kiss, his hands roaming restlessly on her shirt covered back.

Raven broke the kiss with a breathless gasp, her battered lips throbbing slightly as she looked up at him with confused, lust filled eyes.  “B-but...,” she began, feeling unsure as she looked up at him.  The look the singer gave her stopped her breath in her throat.

“Enough,” he hissed, a steel edge to his voice as he pressed his lips to her forehead.  Raven only sighed and leaned into his warm body, snuggling into him as he wrapped his arms loosely around her.  The pale female breathed his scent deeply, simply enjoying being in his arms for the time being.

“No matter who I sleep with, I’ll always love you,” the singer murmured, kissing the top of her head gently.  For some reason the words helped soothe her sore heart and she looked up at him with a small smile.  The rock star smiled back at her, brushing his fingertips along her cheeks lovingly, being careful of the angry wounds.

“Now if I know anything about you, you haven’t eaten at all since earlier today,” he jabbed with a smirk, getting to his feet and pulling her with him by her hands.  Raven opened her mouth to protest when her stomach let out a loud rumble.  When Manson hadn’t shown up she had lost any appetite she had, first out of worry then out of sorrow.

Her body having betrayed her and Manson giving her an amused look that was mixed with frustration, Raven blushed and nodded.  “Yeah, you’re right,” she conceded, avoiding his gaze while nibbling her slightly swollen bottom lip shyly as his thumbs brushed over the back of her hands; ignoring the painful throbbing the nibbling caused.  The reality of just what she had been doing a few seconds ago washed over her and she felt hot all over.  Since when had she gotten so comfortable cuddling with Manson?

Pondering over this new information, the pale, battered female gently tugged her hands free and moved to open her bedroom door.  Manson moved close behind her, pressing himself flush against her as he caged her against the wooden portal with his body.  A low purr rumbling out of his chest, the singer ground his awakening manhood against her butt as he reached for the doorknob and opened the door.  “M-manson?” she squeaked unsurely, looking up at him with embarrassed, incredulous eyes.  Surely he couldn’t be...  Not right after fucking a hooker!

Manson growled softly as he lowered his head, his hot breath fanning her neck as his hands came to her waist.  Apparently he very much was!  A small sound of mortification mixed with lust left her lips as Raven squirmed against him, unsure what she should do.  Thankfully Manson made the decision for her, releasing her with a hiss.  “Go ahead downstairs, I’ll be right behind you,” he husked out, his voice low and growly.

The singer now gripped the door frame tightly with one hand, his jaw clenched tight as he almost seemed to be holding himself back.  His brown right eye was almost black from desire and the pupil almost took up the entire iris.  As Raven began to back away, she noticed his thin chest was heaving, as if he was undergoing enormous strain.  A bit flattered, as well as scared, about her effect on the rock star; the black haired woman slowly turned and made her way down the stairs.

Johnny and Jerome gave her odd looks as she walked past the living room and to the kitchen.  “You okay Raven?” the actor asked, moving to get to his feet.

“Yeah!  I’m fine,” she answered quickly, wincing at just how hot and bothered her voice sounded.  The sight of Manson nearly on his knees from his need for her had turned her on fiercely.  He shouldn’t have been capable of that level of arousal so soon after sex and it sort of thrilled her that he wanted her that badly.

Taking a deep breath to try to calm her excited body, Raven moved to the cupboards and pulled out a plate.  “Just need to make food.  Don’t think about the incredibly hot singer in your bedroom,” she whispered to herself, frustration and lust in her voice as she moved to the fridge to pull out a couple pizza pockets.

“Is pizza and soup all you eat at home?” came an amused male voice from behind her, hot breath brushing her ear.

Nearly jumping out of her skin, Raven whirled to face Manson; who grinned down at her in a rather predatory manner.  “You have no idea how good it feels to hear you want me as well,” he purred softly, leaning down to briefly brush her lips with his.  Then, as suddenly as he had came, he backed off to sit in a chair backwards; resting his chin on the back of the chair and grinning at her.

The flabbergasted female watched the singer, her fingertips lingering over her slightly swollen lips.  He thought she didn’t want him?  That her body didn’t ache for his like his no doubt ached for hers?  She couldn’t blame him.  Despite him doing everything he could to get into her bed, she hadn’t allowed him to take the longed for step.  It would only be a matter of time before anyone wondered if the attraction was just one-sided.  “Of course I want you.  Look at you!  What female wouldn’t want you!  Sexy, charismatic and you can turn me on with just a word!” she replied heatedly, before she remembered just who she was talking to.

Her eyes going wide from mortification, Raven made an odd squeaking noise before making a break for the stairs.  Unfortunately, the super star moved faster than her; quickly wrapping his arms around her and trapping her.  “Really?  Just a word?” he purred, his baritone voice doing naughty things to her body.  Tingles ran through her in waves, pooling deep within her core and causing a needy, lustful feeling.  Whimpering softly, the small female squirmed in arms; hoping against hope he would just let her go.

“From your reaction, I’d wager I’m right,” he rumbled, his hands moving to her semi-flat stomach and rubbing slowly.  Then, ever so gently, he began to sway them back and forth as he nuzzled her neck.  Her back pressed against his chest, tense at first and slowly relaxing as they moved in place.

“Don’t hide your desire from me.  I welcome it,” he growled softly, his mismatched orbs staring at her seriously as he gently nipped her neck.  Raven practically mewled in desire, her knees nearly going out from under her as her arousal jolted within her.  Only Manson’s strong arms around her kept her on her feet and the singer purred in delight against her abused flesh.

A sudden clearing throat broke the spell over the pair and they both froze.  The ‘Antichrist Superstar’s’ head shot up as he fixed the intruder with a furious glare, his arms becoming protective steel beams around her.  Raven, on the other hand, hid her flaming, throbbing face in her hands out of sheer embarrassment.  Why couldn’t the floor open now and swallow her whole, never to be seen again?  She had completely forgotten about Johnny and Jerome being in a room just across from the hall.  The fact that the actor had probably heard everything caused her heart to twist in pain and mortification.

It was no secret to her that the handsome actor loved her, he’d even declared that fact a few times already.  The knowledge that he had heard her pouring out her feelings as well as her desire to the singer made her feel deeply ashamed and guilty.  “Raven, there’s no need to be ashamed,” came Johnny’s reassuring voice.  Hazarding a glance, Raven was stunned to see the actor merely grinning at her gently.

“I just wanted to come check on you two and say goodnight.  Jerome will be in one of the rooms down here,” he explained, a slight sadness tinging his voice as he grinned at the pair.  Feeling guilt twist in her stomach, the pale, bruised woman pulled from Manson’s  arms and continued to make her humble meal.

“Rest well Johnny,” she replied with false cheerfulness, popping two pizza pockets into the microwave and inputting a time.  Behind her back, Manson was giving the goateed actor a look that could curdle milk.  Grinning back nervously, the handsome star wisely beat a hasty retreat up the stairs.

Just as Raven was about to turn and head to the kitchen table to wait for her food, she felt a pair of strong arms wrap around her waist as Manson pressed himself against her and burrowed his nose in her hair.  Startling slightly at first, the pale, battered woman relaxed into the rock star behind her; a troubled look on her face.  She had seen the flash of sadness in Johnny’s eyes and it honestly bothered her.  She cared about the guy a great deal and certainly didn’t want to cause her friend any pain.

All of a sudden it struck her like a ton of bricks.  She was friends with a band and a world famous actor, not to mention the fact that she was currently in a relationship with Marilyn Manson.  It was surreal to think that she had gone from being a normal, free-lance artist to being friends with several famous people.  If anyone had told her this a month ago, she would have laughed in their face before calling them insane.  When the hell had her quiet life become a media circus’ wet dream?

A gentle nip behind her ear startled her out of her musings, bringing a gasp from her still slightly swollen lips.  “What are you thinking about?” he asked, his voice slightly husky as his arms tightened on her briefly.

“Just how one concert turned my entire life upside down,” she replied softly, turning her head to grin at him slightly.  She decided it would be best that he not know she was also bothered about upsetting Johnny.  Somehow, the black haired female doubted that would go over well.

“Hmm, I can tell something else is bothering you.  Are you worried about Johnny?” Manson murmured, resting his cheek against her head as his hands moved over her shirt covered stomach slowly.  His calloused thumbs brushed lightly over the sensitive skin under her ribs, causing small sparks of desire to dance in her lower belly.

“Yeah,” she sighed in a defeated manner, slumping slightly.  She had to admit she was a bit shocked that he hit the nail on the head but the movements on her stomach were highly distracting.  Her hands and feet began to tingle in an oddly delicious way as a coil of arousal slowly began to tighten in her core.  Raven found just his nearness highly intoxicating, the fact he was also touching her was just icing on the cake.

“He cares a lot about you doesn’t he?” the singer behind her whispered, tenderly kissing where her chin met her neck.  Freezing in shock and fear, Ravne braced herself for the sudden blow up.

“Y-yes, he told me so himself a few times,” she answered timidly, tensing as if expecting to get hit.  Instead, she felt another gentle nip behind her ear, followed by a loving caress on her slightly swollen cheek.  A bit shocked that he wasn’t screaming at her or roaring for the actor’s blood, the still bruised female turned to face the rock star; his arms loosening just enough to allow her to move.

“Th-that doesn’t bother you?” she squeaked out fearfully, her heart thudding in her chest.  The patient, loving look he gave her was more than enough to soothe her fears.  Then he leaned down to briefly brush her lips with his before letting out a quiet chuckle.

“No.  He’s not going to try to seduce you out from under me and I doubt you’re going to elope with him to Vegas,” he purred, amusement thick in his voice as his mismatched eyes glittered down at her.

Unable to help the sigh of relief, Raven leaned her head against his clothed chest and wrapped her arms hesitantly around his thin waist.  Letting out another chuckle, the rock star rested a hand on the back of her head and a hand on the small of her back as he leaned down to affectionately nuzzle the crown of her head.  The pale, battered woman sighed contently, her hazel eyes slipping closed as she breathed in his warm, masculine scent.  “Just don’t forget that you’re my girlfriend.  There is never any reason to feel ashamed for showing your affection for me,” he rumbled, his voice slightly more husky as his hands tightened possessively.

The ding of the microwave broke the moment like a soap bubble, Raven darting out of his arms and to the microwave.  Her heart thudded crazily in her chest and desire burned within her womanhood as she pulled her plate of food from the microwave.  Unfortunately, in her haste, the flustered woman had forgotten that the plate itself would be quite hot.  As soon as she pulled it free, she had to drop the plate on the counter and wave her hand; a pained hiss coming from her lips.

All of a sudden her right wrist was grasped in a firm grip as Manson was there immediately, examining her hand for serious damage.  The fact that he cared that much made her heart flutter and her stomach promptly do flip-flops.  As he saw the slightly reddened skin he made a displeased noise and began to kiss each injured digit, his mismatched eyes staring down at her.  Her breath caught in her throat as it felt like her heart would explode in her chest.  Her womanhood pulsed deliciously as she saw the love and concern burning in his heterochromic gaze.  “Be more careful hun,” he murmured, his voice holding an odd edge as he released her hand and stepped back.

Standing in place for a few seconds, her hand still in the air, Raven shook herself with an embarrassed blush before she turned to grab the plate a second time.  Thankfully the porcelain disc had cooled considerably, allowing her to make her way to the small table and sit down.  Avoiding the rock star’s heated gaze, Raven began to eat; surprised to find that she was actually quite ravenous.  As she ate, movement beside her made her turn her head.  Shock and flusterment filled her as the super star sat in a chair beside her, an amused grin on his pale face as he watched her eat.

Swallowing her current mouthful slowly, her tongue unconsciously snaked out of her mouth to lick at the tomato sauce on her puffy lips as she gave Manson a confused look.  A hungry sounding growl rumbled from the singer’s chest as he leaned forward, his tongue slowly licking over the remains her tongue had left behind.  Raven could only blush, her hazel eyes going wide as the rock star looped a hand behind her head to hold her in place as he began to lave his tongue over her slightly parted, battered lips.  Then, shuddering slightly as he pulled back, Manson gave her a look filled with pure hunger.  “I could just eat you up,” he husked out, his voice gruff and throaty as he grinned in a predatory way at her.  The hand on the back of her head tightened as he pressed his forehead against hers, his mismatched eyes burning into her hazel gaze.

Raven whimpered shyly, her heart feeling like it was about to beat out of her chest as she stared up at him.  Her gaze went to his lips as she licked her slightly swollen lips nervously and tried to gather her courage.  It wasn’t as if this was the first time she had initiated a kiss but this time seemed a bit different.  There was a palatable tension in the singer as he seemed to be waiting for something.  His own chest was heaving slightly as his whitish-blue and brown eyes burned into her.

Taking in a deep breath, Raven leaned forward to capture her boyfriend’s lips in a passionate kiss; ignoring the pain from her still injured lips.  The thrill of even just thinking of him as her boyfriend made her put some extra feeling into the action, her tongue entering his mouth and dueling with his.  One of her hands rose to grip his shoulder length, black hair in a harsh grip as she growled into his mouth, giving his tongue a nip when it entered her own mouth.  Manson returned the growl, his own hand moving under her hair as he held her locked to his mouth.

Both breathed through their noses, simply unwilling to break the kiss as Raven slowly slid onto the rock star’s lap.  A crimson blush stained her swollen, throbbing cheeks as she fought valiantly against the panic and shame rising within her.  She had every right to be in his lap!  They had gone through absolute hell not to mention him being gone for several weeks, she had missed him.  She had missed him so much that she ached at the thought of him going on tour without her.  Right now, especially after him recently sleeping with a hooker, she needed to show him just how much she loved him, how much he belonged to her and her alone.

Breaking the kiss with a gasp, Raven looked up at the singer with wide, shocked eyes.  Had she really just thought of the rock star she was currently straddling as hers?  Holy fuck!  Was she currently straddling Marilyn fucking Manson?!  NO!  She would not allow her fears to win this time!  This time she was damn well going to show the man she had loved for years before she met him just how much he meant to her.

Manson stared up at the woman currently sitting in his lap, a happy, lust filled grin on his make-up free face.  He had never expected the timid female to be acting like this but he liked it.  He liked seeing the desire and love she had for him in her eyes and feeling it in her kiss.  Even when she came back to her senses a bit, he found her utterly adorable.  His hands itched to cup her blushing, bruised face but he held back, sensing her sudden unease.  It almost looked like she wanted to run again but she was valiantly fighting the urge.  Proud of her bravery, the rock star contented himself with waiting.

Luckily he didn’t have to wait long, her abused lips crashing on his with newborn ferocity.  One of the closed cuts on her lower lip burst open on contact, giving them both the faint taste of blood as their tongues met again.  Manson growled into the kiss, breathing out through his nose as he ground his clothed arousal against her butt.  To his delight and her shock, Raven moaned into his mouth as her free hand came up to caress his cheek.  Her hips moved of their own accord, grinding against him a couple times before she halted the movement.

A crimson blush stained her painful cheeks as the nervous female began to break the kiss to apologize.  She hadn’t meant to do that!  She had been lost in the need to make the man she currently sat on feel everything she felt for him.  Her desire had gone to a roaring flame, tightening into an almost painful coil of heat within her as she had kissed him.  Then her body had acted on its own, her hips grinding along him.

As she began to pull back, she felt Manson’s hand on the back of her head tighten; holding her against his mouth.  His tongue lapped over hers in a strangely soothing manner as his free hand came down to cup her jeans covered butt.  As he forced their kiss to continue, Raven eventually relaxed and began to respond again; her tongue twining with his.  Then, without breaking the kiss, Manson was lifting her into his arms and carrying her up the stairs.  Small purrs escaped the rock star as he continued to kiss the female in his arms.

At first Raven was unsure of how to react when her boyfriend began to mount the stairs.  This had been what she wanted but now that it was happening, she was starting to feel unsure.  As they got closer to her door, her old panic and fear began to take over; making her begin to hesitate in the kiss.  As if he sensed her growing hesitation, Manson broke the kiss to look into her hazel orbs.  “Raven?  We don’t have to continue,” he husked out, his voice sounding strained as he began to set her down.

Quickly grasping his shirt, the pale, injured female shook her head vehemently.  If she couldn’t manage to have sex with him, then she would worship him.  Tonight she had a few things she had gotten from fanfics that she wanted to try.  Just the thought of it made her blush even harder, causing her poor cheeks to sting painfully.  Then, to her relief, Manson nodded in response before continuing into her bedroom.

Setting her tenderly on the bed, the rock star turned to the wooden door; closing and locking it.  Raven watched him from her position, trying desperately to keep her heart from beating out of her chest.  Yeah this was Marilyn Manson but he was also her boyfriend and someone she loved very much.  She was determined to show him just how much.  Still, as he turned to face her with utter desire, she felt a spike of fear as well as lust.  Taking a deep breath, Raven slowly got off the bed, grinning at a now confused looking singer.  “Sit on the bed?” she asked shyly, avoiding his gaze as she fiddled with her ponytail.

Manson only chuckled lightly, cupping her cheek briefly on his way over to the bed.  Once he was sitting on the red sheets, the rock star looked at the poster on the wall to the left of the bed.  “Nice poster,” he teased, mirth and lust sparkling in his whitish blue left eye and his brown right eye.

“Oh hush,” Raven hissed, fighting the urge to cover her overly red, throbbing face.  He only chuckled in response, tilting his head curiously as he watched her.

Taking a deep breath, the nervous woman began to walk towards the singer.  Her heart beating so hard that she was afraid she would faint, Raven slowly crawled onto his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck.  Breathing a bit erratically, she pressed a kiss to his lips and her hands moved from his neck to his shoulders.  Manson purred into the chaste kiss, his hands resting lightly on her hips.  Then, breaking the kiss to rest her nose against his, Raven slid her hands slowly down his lithe torso to the hem of his black, long sleeve shirt.

A faint look of surprise coming over his pale face, the performer lifted his arms accordingly; allowing the very shy female to remove his shirt.  Swallowing thickly, Raven’s hazel eyes roamed over his milky white skin.  The only bits of color on the white expanse was the tattoos on his arms and shoulders as well as the multitude of scars peppering his bony chest.  The already burning arousal within her tightened another notch, causing a breathy moan to leaving her shuddering, slightly swollen lips.  Embarrassed of the small noise, the obviously nervous female gently pushed on his chest with his hand until he laid back on the bed.  Then with shaky hands the began to unfasten the button on his black jeans.

Manson sucked in a harsh breath, sitting up just enough to watch her pull his jeans open at the top.  Trying to keep her breathing steady, Raven slowly began to tug down the zipper; a blush once again coloring her bruised cheeks as she realized the rock star was very erect and wearing no underwear.  Making a small noise as her heart beat in her ears and her womanhood pulsed with some unknown need, the slightly shaking female tugged on the jeans until Manson lifted his hips and allowed her to pull them off.

All of a sudden she left him, leaving the very confused singer looking at her with some curiosity.  Smiling at the now naked ‘Antichrist Superstar’ on her bed, Raven moved to her small closet and began to dig around inside for something.  “What are you up to?” Manson asked, his voice husky as he moved to sit up on the red sheets.

“Oh please stay laying down.  You’ll see in a minute,” she called, her back turned to him and her voice shaky and full of embarrassment.  Since her back was turned she was unable to see the hunger filled smirk that curled the performer’s lips as he laid back on the bed.

Soon Raven whirled around, her hands instantly going behind her back as she turned.  Looking unsure with a deep blush on her battered cheeks, the flustered female moved back toward the bed with a shy smile on her face.  “I read a few things on the internet and wanted to try them out.  If you’re not into any of it, that’s perfectly okay!  We can always stop,” she gushed out rapidly, her hazel gaze avoiding his heated gaze as he stared up at her curiously.  Clearing her throat and trying to slow her breathing, the injured female brought her hands in front of her with a shameful, unsure smile.  In her hands were three different colored scarves.

Manson quirked a brow at her, his smirk going into a full on leer as he gazed up at her.  “Is that for you or me?” he growled out, lust thick in his baritone voice.

“Y-you, if you don’t mind,” she murmured, shifting from side to side shyly.  Hesitation was beginning to fill her as she looked down at the strips of fabric in her hands.  Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea, she really had no idea what she was doing.  Also she had an idea that if Manson knew what exactly she had in mind he wouldn’t look nearly as eager.

“I don’t mind,” he rumbled in a voice filled with desire, smiling at her in a way that caused arousal to run through her in a shock.

Swallowing thickly and trying to slow her heart rate with slow, deep breaths, Raven slowly crawled on top of the naked and very aroused performer.  A purr rumbled from his chest as his burning, mismatched gaze watched her.  Biting her lower lip and giving him a nervous, shy look, the blushing woman tied a red scarf around his right wrist and tied the appendage to the corresponding bedpost; ignoring the fact the bite has caused her lip to begin bleeding again.  “I never expected  you to know anything about this,” he rumbled, his voice rough and throaty as he watched her tie his left wrist with a green scarf.

“S-some of the ideas appeal to me.  Not really sure I could handle any of the more extreme stuff though,” she replied quietly, clearing her throat softly as she tied a black scarf over his eyes with shaky, sweaty hands.  Nerves, desire and embarrassment scrabbled for position within her as she pulled back to look down at the now semi-bound singer.

The material over his eyes was just see-through enough to allow him to see the female’s outline as she moved back.  His tongue slowly slipped out to lick his lips as his fingers lightly felt the scarves tying his wrists.  His rock hard arousal pulsed as it laid on his stomach, a dribble of clear pre leaking from the slitted tip.  Then his breath caught in his throat as he felt her lightly run her nails down his chest.  Purring in response, the rock star arched into the touch; hoping she would take that as a cue to continue.

Raven shuddered at his response as she ran her nails from his pecs to his belly button.  Light pink, very slightly raised welts were left in their wake, making guilt slightly bloom in her chest.  Still, from his response, Manson had seemed to like it.  Taking a deep breath and holding it for a few seconds to calm herself, the black haired female ran her nails down harder.  The super star under her responded with a throaty, gruff moan, his hips jerking up slightly as he began to pant lightly.

Encouraged by the positive response, Raven slowly leaned over until her open mouth was poised over his left nipple.  Allowing her hot breath to blow on the sensitive nub for a few seconds, the shuddering woman slowly ran her tongue along the taut, erect flesh.  Manson groaned under her, almost sounding pained as his torso heaved beneath her chest.  “Fuck Raven,” he hissed, his voice sounding like a growl as it slid from his lips in ragged pants.  A jolt of arousal shot straight to her core from his words, causing her to give a light moan against the nipple still in her mouth.

Then she pulled back from the small nodule, panting slightly as she sat on his thighs and stared down at his twitching erection.  Deciding to ignore it for now, Raven ran her nails down his chest once again; drawing a heated moan from the ‘Antichrist Superstar’ as he arched into her hand.  The marks she left behind were more red this time, some looking close to bleeding.  A soft sigh escaping her, the black haired female leaned down to lick at his wounds; almost as if in apology.  Manson groaned and panted under her, his hips straining with an effort to keep still.  “Raven, please,” he gasped out in a pained, lust filled voice as he wriggled his hips slightly.

Sitting up again, Raven gave him a smoldering look that was full of lust as her hazel eyes roamed over his aroused, heaving body.  Giving a small purr of her own, she slowly slid down his shuddering form until his aroused manhood was in her vision again.  Lowering herself further until she was laying between his spread legs, the bruised woman reached for his throbbing, hard flesh and brought it to a vertical position.  Allowing her breath to blow against the tight skin teasingly, the highly aroused Raven slowly moved up the pulsing rod until she was greeted with the dribbling tip.

Blowing on the leaking head a couple times, Raven slowly snaked her tongue out to briefly lick at the quivering top.  Manson’s hips immediately jumped upward as his breathing increased in speed.  His hands tugged on the silk ties binding them as he panted heavily.  Feeling a rush of power as well as confidence, the normally timid woman again briefly licked the mushroomed head; getting a very similar reaction from the bound rock star.  “God, Raven just....,” he growled out, his throaty voice holding a desperate edge as his manhood twitched in her hand.

Chuckling, the black haired woman obliged and licked his arousal from base to tip; stopping briefly at the top to place a loving kiss.  Her panties were soaked and her core fairly ached from how aroused she was.  Her thighs were even starting to shake as she slowly began to take his manhood into her mouth.  Manson let out a deep, throaty snarl as she slowly engulfed him, his hips shuddering as he fought not to just start thrusting into her wet cavern.  “R-raven,” he rumbled, his head lolling to the side as he continued to tug fruitlessly at his bonds.

The aroused female only hummed against his flesh as she took him as far as she could.  All too soon she was gagging on his length and she had to use her hand to take care of what her mouth couldn’t.  A soft moan escaping her, Raven began a slow rhythm; slight sucking noises filling the quiet room.  The singer under her growled low in his throat, his hips moving as he began to hump her mouth shallowly.

Pleasure filled Manson as Raven suckled him like a popsicle.  Small huffs and moans left his lips as his hips humped and ground against her moving lips.  Yet he found himself wishing to bury himself in other places.  Groaning and panting heavily, a tingling beginning to fill his lower body, Manson tried to pull his erection from her mouth.  If he was going to cum, he was going to do it while fucking her into oblivion.  “R-raven, stop,” he huffed, his voice ragged and uneven.

Raven shook her head with him still in her mouth, continuing to suck him off for all she was worth.  As much as she ached to have him inside her, she knew she would break down as soon as her clothes came off.  Right now all she wanted was to pleasure him, make him feel just how much she wanted to make him feel good.  Moaning around his leaking erection, the pale, bruised woman began to move on him a bit faster; her core pulsing almost painfully.

Manson moaned heatedly under her, his hips jerking up of their own accord as he yanked on the scarves tying his wrists.  “Raven, please!  I need...  I’m gonna,” he snarled out, just seconds before his arousal twitched and swelled within her mouth; shooting his thick load into the back of her throat.  Raven moaned in ecstasy, even though the substance in her mouth tasted pretty darn foul.  She swallowed everything he gave, giving him a few more sucks as he slowly stopped twitching.

Releasing his softening member with a sigh, the highly aroused woman reached for the scarves and untied Manson’s right hand.  As soon as it was free, the singer was ripping the blindfold off and untying his other hand; almost as if he was furious with her.  Yet, instead of yelling at her like she thought he was, he pulled her into a rough, lust filled kiss.  He growled into her shocked mouth as his tongue forced it open to ravage the orifice.  With the scarves still dangling from his pale wrists, the rock star wrapped his arms tightly around the stunned woman.  “Get under the covers and get those jeans off,” he snarled, disentangling himself from her to get out of bed and to his feet.

“Wh-what?!” she gasped out, shock, lust and familiar panic beginning to fill her.  The hot coil of arousal in the pit of her stomach coiled just a bit tighter, a jolt of lust going right to her womanhood despite her growing fear.

“Not your underwear, just your pants,” he urged, an odd edge to his voice as he stared down at her.  The burning look in his heterochromic gaze not helping the panic currently threatening to make her heart burst from her chest.

“B-but...  I...,” she stammered, her voice small and frightened as she looked anywhere but at the agitated looking rock star.

“It won’t be any different than having your pants on.  I promise, I won’t look unless you want me to,” he insisted, the black locks hanging in his lightly flushed face giving him a slightly disheveled look.

Raven stared up at the still very naked singer, her heart caught in her throat as her womanhood pulsed painfully.  Despite the panic threatening to make her break down, her body wanted him desperately.  Forcing her erratic breathing to slow down, Raven closed her eyes to help steady herself.  “O-okay,” she managed in a small voice, sliding off the left side of the bed and pulling back the red sheets.  Her heart thundering in her ears and her entire body beginning to shake, the struggling woman slid under them and slowly slid off her jeans.

Still forcing herself to breath slowly in the hopes her poor heart would slow down, the blushing female slid the jeans out of the covers with a leg.  Taking in a deep breath and blowing out slowly, she stared down at the covers over her to avoid looking at the silent rock star.  As the bed sank under a weight, Raven found herself tensing and her hands tightened on the red sheets.  “Relax Raven,” came a gentle baritone, a pale hand grasping one of hers comfortingly.

Taking in another deep breath and breathing it out very slowly, the shaking, embarrassed, shy female slowly looked up at her boyfriend.  Manson smiled back at her, lust thick in his mismatched eyes as he raised the hand he held up to his lips and pressing a loving kiss on the top.  “Lay down love,” he purred out, his voice beginning to sound throaty as he stared at her expectantly.  The blush on her throbbing, swollen cheeks deepened as she swallowed thickly before slowly laying on her back.

“Good kitten,” he rumbled, slowly crawling over her covered form until his nose rested against hers.  A soft growl escaping him, the rock star captured her swollen, bloodstained lips in a loving kiss.  His tongue slowly laved over the cracked, abused flesh before entering her sweet mouth and tangling with her tongue.

As she began to slowly respond to the kiss, Manson used her distraction to quietly slip under the covers with her.  As his tongue rubbed along the roof of her mouth, the performer settled himself between her milky thighs; his hungry mouth swallowing her gasp of surprise.  Her body jerked under his as she tried to pull away but he wasn’t about to allow that.  With a low growl, Manson grasped the back of her head with one hand and deepened the kiss, his tongue moving over hers in a soothing manner.

To the shock of both of them, she began to relax under him; her hazel eyes growing dark with lust as her arms came to wrap around his neck.  Purring his approval into her eager mouth, the singer reached down with his free hand to run a finger along the soaked material that covered her weeping slit.  Raven shuddered at the contact, moaning hotly into his mouth as her knees came up and she pressed into his touch.  Manson broke the kiss to chuckle down at her.  “My, you’re certainly aroused,” he husked out, pride and lust filling him at her reaction to the brief brush.

Raven only whimpered, shame and lust in her darkened eyes as she looked up at him.  “Just shut up and kiss me,” she hissed in an unsteady, gruff voice, reaching up to grab the back of his head to force his mouth back against hers.  Nibbling his lips a few times, the aroused female forced her tongue into his mouth rub along his.  Manson growled low in his chest at the aggressive kiss, his tongue heatedly tangling with hers as he brushed the soaked fabric in the same place.

The panting, whimpering woman currently ravaging his mouth moaned heatedly, her hips arching up under his hand.  Rumbling in his chest, the ‘Antichrist Superstar’ removed his hand from the sopping underwear; grinning against her mouth as Raven groaned in disappointment.  The hand was soon replaced by his throbbing, aching manhood.  The shy woman under him whimpered unsurely, her hips trying to pull back from the unfamiliar touch.  Snarling against her mouth in disapproval, the rock star moved with her; keeping his erection firmly pressed against her pulsing womanhood.

The heat he could feel from her entrance was incredible and it was taking everything he had within him not to simply shove the underwear aside and take her.  Shaking slightly, he broke the kiss to rest his forehead against hers as he thrust himself vertically along her clothed junction.  She moaned softly under him, her voice still holding a slightly unsure tinge despite the fact her hips arched up to meet his.  “Relax,” he husked out, his breathing ragged and uneven as both hands moved to grasp her hips.

Raven took a deep breath, her legs shaking not from fear but from sheer need.  Every movement against her sensitive, clothed flesh sent shocks of pleasure straight to her core.  Her entire body was already tingling and her breath came in short, quick pants.  All panic and fear faded to the background as he rocked up against her again, his arms shaking around her.  “Manson,” she sighed out, pressing her forehead against his as her eyes slipped shut.

The singer growled softly, his hands tightening on her hips and he began to rock back and forth against her; his turgid flesh slipping along the wet, clothed folds easily.  To be honest, he was stunned he was already feeling like he could orgasm again.  Even for him, getting aroused this soon after cumming was an achievement.  Then Raven moaned and shuddered needily under him, one of her hands running its nails up his spine.  He groaned gruffly, thrusting against her particularly hard.

Raven hissed at the rough thrust, both her hands curling around his shoulders to rest on the backs; her nails scratching lightly at his pale skin.  Manson shuddered against her, panting harshly before he began a slow rhythm over the soaked panties.  His rock hard arousal slid between the slick lips smoothly, thin material the only barrier between their skin.  Shuddering beneath him, the panting woman ran her nails across his back a bit more harshly.

Manson snarled harshly, the muscles on his back tightening under his skin as he stilled against her for a few seconds.  Then he began thrusting in earnest, growling as his balls slapped against her.  Raven gasped, her legs going tense and she clung onto him for dear life.  Her pale, sweaty forehead rested against a tattooed shoulder as the coil inside her tightened to a nearly painful point.  Gasping out his name like a mantra, Raven dug her nails into his back as the pain grew white hot; the pressure inside her incredible.

Then she was exploding, her head flying back as her vision went white.  Her hips jerked against him helplessly as she bit his shoulder to muffle her screams.  Manson snarled above her, his own hips jerking against hers erratically as his breathing roughened.  “Raven,” he hissed out, going stiff as semen exploded out of him and onto her lower stomach.  His arms shook with the effort of keeping him up as he gazed down at her with love filled, concerned eyes.

Raven released his shoulder, guilt filling her as she noticed the nasty looking mark.  Grateful she hadn’t broken the skin, she placed an apologetic kiss on the wound.  “I’m sorry ‘bout that,” she whispered in a husky voice, removing her nails from his back with a wince.  There was blood on the tips and she shamefully wondered just how badly she had hurt him.  Before she could open her mouth to apologize again, her mouth was captured in a loving, tired kiss.

“Don’t apologize.  I have to say I never expected you to be so... rough,” he purred slowly untying a scarf from his wrist.  Then, without taking his eyes of hers, he moved his hand down to clumsily wipe his semen off her stomach.

“Hey!  You’ll have to wash that!” she admonished, smacking his arm playfully.  She was a bit shocked that overwhelming shame hadn’t come over her yet but she certainly wasn’t going to complain.  The singer above her chuckled lightly, bringing up the soiled scarf and tossing it to the side carelessly.  Then he was laying beside her, tugging her to lay against him; her face in his scarred chest.

His hand slowly smoothed over her shoulder length, black hair as his other hand rested in the small of her back.  His nose burrowed in her ebony locks as his left leg nestled between hers.  Finding the position rather embarrassing, Raven brought her small hands up to his chest and tried to push away to gain some much needed distance.  This only caused the rock star to growl deep in his chest as his grip on her back tightened.

Resigning herself to the awkward position, Raven nuzzled into his naked chest and sighed.  His heart beat slowly against her ear as his hands slowly rubbed along her back and head.  Then he began to softly hum ‘Coma White’, his hand still moving through her hair slowly.  “Mmm, not fair,” she grumbled, snuggling further into his chest and huffing slightly.  The performer only chuckled, continuing to hum softly as she slowly fell asleep in his protective arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy fuck, long chapter is long. Sorry ‘bout that guys.


	24. On My Way Down Now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: ‘The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.’ - ‘Hellsing’.

Raven sighed in her sleep, nuzzling into the warm chest she was snuggled against.  A pair of arms tightened around her softly as the person holding her snored lightly.  Stretching her tired, relaxed body, the groggy female wrapped her arms around the other person’s waist; having a good idea of just who was holding her.  Yet, despite the fact of being aware of just what happened and who was cuddling her, Raven felt completely at ease.  A sleepy purr from the singer holding her made her smile as she began to drift back off.

She had just about drifted off when she noticed her clothes had changed, even her soiled panties.  A mortified blush filled her still slightly sore cheeks as the familiar panic began to rise within her.  Had Manson looked at her?  Taking a deep breath through her nose, Raven tried to stop the panic before it became all encompassing.  No, he wouldn’t do that.  He had always kept his promises and had never taken advantage of the opportunity to see her naked.  Coming to the conclusion that she had nothing to worry about, Raven shoved the panic down roughly as she rubbed her cheek against his scarred chest.  “Mmmmf okay?” came a gruff, sleep muzzed voice as the rock star stirred against her.

Freezing against him, Raven pulled back to look at the singer.  “Mmmm.  Raaaven okay?” he rumbled out, clearly still mostly asleep as he looked down at her with dim concern.  Even asleep, he had been able to tell she was upset and the knowledge made her heart flutter in her chest.

“Yeah, I’m okay.  I just realized you changed my clothes during the night,” she replied quietly,  kissing his lips lightly.

“Didn’t look,” he assured drowsily, returning the kiss briefly as his hands moved over her back.

“I sorta figured,” she replied, yawning slightly as she laid her cheek back against his chest.

“Sleep,” he sighed, already starting to drift off once it was clear she was no longer upset.

A bit touched and amused, Raven grinned against his skin as she closed her eyes to resume sleep.  She was just beginning to drift back off when she heard a loud crash followed by a female shriek come from downstairs. Groaning in frustration, the groggy woman pulled away from Manson; who was now sitting up slowly and holding his black haired head in his hands.  “God fucking dammit, can’t we have a moment’s peace,” he hissed in an irritated voice as he swung his bare legs over the right side of the bed.

“Apparently not,” the pale woman quipped grouchily, cautiously throwing the covers off herself.  To her mixed relief and amusement she was dressed in one of her over-sized Marilyn Manson t-shirts that she used as pajamas.  She had other over-sized black t-shirts that were able to be used when all her normal ones were dirty, so she was amused by his choice.

“When I get down there, I’m going to kill fucking Pogo,” he snarled, pulling on his tight, black jeans from yesterday.

Blushing at the sight of his flaccid penis, Raven cleared her throat and turned her back on the dressing singer as she got out of bed.  “How do you know it was him?” she asked in a much too high pitch voice as she edged to her dresser while still trying to face away from him.  Her movement was stopped by a strong pair of arms wrapping around her and a half naked Manson pressing against her.

“Who else could it be?  You’re so adorable when you’re flustered,” he sighed in her ear, his lips briefly brushing the outer shell as his hands came to rest on her stomach.

The pale woman flushed, causing the faded, yellowing bruises on her cheeks to throb painfully.  “Yeah, I guess you’re right.  Though I’m surprised they made it here so quickly,” she replied, her voice small and shy as she tried to pull away from the super star behind her.  Manson only chuckled, allowing her to move but keeping himself pressed flush against her back.

“Its so utterly cute that you’re still so embarrassed around me,” he purred, grinding his clothed erection against her shirt covered butt.  Raven shuddered in response, the blush on her slightly bruised cheeks going deeper.  Where on Earth had  that come from?  Normally him doing that would have caused an instant wave of embarrassment through her.  Now she found herself actually leaning into him, not that the rock star seemed to mind.  In fact he seemed positively delighted.

“Hmm, you’re  definitely getting braver,” he teased, grinding his erection against her behind again before releasing her hips.

Her heart beating in her chest and her womanhood pulsing deliciously from arousal, Raven was surprised to find she was disappointed.  Clearing her throat, the flustered woman grabbed her clothes and practically fled out of her room; heading to the bathroom just across the hall.  As she ran, she was dimly aware of Manson’s amused chuckle behind her.  Rocketing into the bathroom and locking the door behind her, the embarrassed, shocked female began to run herself a cold shower.  This was  not a good way to start the day.

Amanda was tearing at her curly, brown locks as she stared into the living room, her teeth grinding noisily from rage.  Johnny and Jerome skidded into the hall behind her at the same time but from different places.  Both men’s jaws dropped as they took in what was in the living room.  From the looks of it, the T.V. had been ‘Tombstoned’ into the newly replaced coffee table, effectively splitting the hapless piece of furniture in half.  The culprit was standing right by the table, looking proud of himself even as his bandmates were shielding him with their bodies.  “Did ya miss me?” Pogo chirped, a grin on his red lips as he held out his black clad arms for a hug.

“Run.  Run fast.  Run far,” the woman snarled, moments before launching herself at the entire group.

Manson came down just in time to witness the ensuing chaos and simply let out a low, annoyed sigh as he pinched the bridge of his nose.  He had been awoken from a very nice cuddle session with his girlfriend, for this.  Anger rising within him, the rock star made a detour into the kitchen.  If he was going to deal with this, he was going to go in armed.  With an annoyed look on his pale face, the singer reached into a cupboard to pull out two familiar bottles.

Pouring himself an even mix of both Vodka and Absinthe, Manson knocked back the fluid with a shudder before heading to the living room.  The sight that greeted him made him long for another drink.  The two groups seemed to be doing their level best to keep Amanda from tearing off Pogo’s head while Ginger was trying to get the keyboardist out of the room.  Jeordie was the only one not joining in, choosing to watch the events from a safe spot near the entrance of the room.  “Enough!” Manson roared, his patience running out.

Everyone in the room froze, looking at him with wide, shocked eyes.  Once he was sure the chaos had truly come to a stop, the rock star let out a heavy sigh before heading up to Pogo.  The mohawked maniac was grinning at him insanely while Ginger stood slightly behind him with an exasperated look on his pale face.  Placing a firm hand on the keyboardist’s shoulder, Manson got a strange look on his face as he looked down at his bandmate.  “Do you  enjoy making my life hell wherever we go?!” he snarled out, his hand tightening in what would have been a painful grip on any other person.

Pogo only tittered, seemingly overjoyed by the performer’s seething rage.  “Get in the fucking tour bus and wait there.  I don’t care how long it takes, just fucking stay put,” the singer bit out, sounding as if he was hanging onto his temper by the barest of threads.  The keyboardist only saluted mockingly before swaggering off towards the bus that waited outside, Ginger following close behind to make sure he went where he was supposed to.

“Hey wait!  He gets off scot-free?  What about my fucking table and my T.V.?!” Amanda squealed indignantly, struggling against the mass of people holding her back.

“He’ll fucking pay for them!  Stop fucking screaming,” he yelled back, his already thin patience breaking a little.

“That won’t stop him from breaking the next batch!” she protested, not at all scared of the furious rock star.

“Look, I can’t stop the fact that he’s going to break your shit!  That’s just the way he is!  I have no more control over his actions than you do Raven’s,” Manson spat, beginning to move toward the restrained female.

Immediately Tim and John 5 broke off to restrain the fuming singer while Jerome and Johnny still held onto Amanda, not that this did much good.  Both of them continued to move towards each other, sparks of sheer aggression practically shooting between their locked eyes.  Ginger, who had just come back from escorting Pogo to the tour bus, dashed to stand between them; shielding the curly haired female with his body.  “That’s enough, both of you!” the drummer snarled, glaring at both of them like they were fighting children.

Manson and Amanda continued to glare daggers at eachother for several moments before the singer simply snorted and backed off a few steps.  “Just make sure he replaces what he broke,” Amanda snarled, yanking herself free of the two holding her and storming into the kitchen.

“Was it necessary to scream at her?!” Ginger exploded, getting right up in Manson’s face and screaming.

Manson blinked a bit in surprise before understanding shone in his mismatched eyes.  He was looking at man who was as deeply in love as he was.  Deciding it was in his best interest to feign submission, the singer slumped in false defeat as he pinched his nose.  “Sorry ‘bout that Ging.  I’ve been really stressed out lately.  I’ll go apologize to her,” he offered, inwardly smiling at the drummer’s dumbstruck expression.  Just seeing that had made this whole headache of a morning worth it.  Only smirking when his back was turned on the other man, the performer began to stride to the kitchen.

Raven, on the other hand, had heard all the commotion while toweling herself off after a very cold shower.  Sighing to herself, she slipped on her clothes before looking at a stick of black lipstick that was sitting on the bathroom sink.  Recognizing it as one of hers that she had left there lord knows how long ago, the pale female began to head towards the sink.  Stopping to look at herself in the mirror, she picked up the small tube and looked at its shiny surface for several moments before rolling a bit of the substance up.

Amanda was currently sitting at the table, sipping her first cup of coffee with a surly look on her pale face.  She wore a simple pink blouse as well as black dress pants, her ruby lips were pursed in annoyance as she set her mug down and glared ahead at nothing.  Deep down she knew Manson was right about his control over what Pogo did, she just hated to admit it.  “Hey,” came a familiar, unwelcome male voice from the entrance to the kitchen.

“What do you want,” she sighed, pointedly looking away from him.  The rock star only let out a frustrated growl in response before coming in.

“Look, we can agree that we don’t like eachother but I’m here to offer an apology.  The way I acted in there was inexcusable,” Manson replied, his baritone voice sounding sincere under the weariness.

“I’ll say.  You were an utter ass,” she hissed, pausing to take a sip of her coffee with a sour look on her face, “but I accept your apology.  I’m sorry too.  I shouldn’t expect you to be able to keep a leash on your band members,”she continued, looking down at the table.

“Thanks.  So why do ya have such a bug up your butt about me anyway?” the singer asked curiously, pulling out a chair to sit at the table.  The curly haired woman to his left looked up at hims with a look that said ‘Where the hell do I start’ before she shook her head.

“I could go on all day,” she murmured grouchily into her mug, glaring down at the wood of the table.

Frowning, Manson opened his mouth to demand she elaborate when a timid voice interrupted them.  “Are you guys alive down there?” Raven asked from the stairs, sounding a bit afraid.  To Amanda’s amusement, the rock star was on his feet in a flash and headed back to the hall that lead to the stairs to the second story.

“Yeah, Pogo did a number on the living room though... woah,” the singer began, cut off by a word that sounded more like an exhalation.  Quirking her brow in curiosity, Amanda went to the entryway of the kitchen and nearly had to pick her jaw up out of the basement from what she saw.

Raven was dressed in a rather form fitting Marilyn Manson T-shirt and black jeans.  Her usual platform boots adorned her feet and her ebony hair hung loosely around her pale face.  Black lipstick shaded her lips and a touch of dark grey eyeshadow framed her hazel eyes.  Black, fingerless arm warmers went up to her mid bicep, creating the illusion of longsleeves.  All in all, the woman was the perfect picture of a typical Manson fangirl.  She had even sprinkled some white face makeup on herself to help hide the yellowed bruises on her cheeks.

The way Manson and Amanda were staring at her made her feel extremely self conscious.  Maybe she had gone a bit overboard and she should go change and save herself embarrassment.  Nibbling her lower lip and blushing, the flustered female turned began to fidget in place unsurely.  “D-did I do it wrong or something? she asked shyly, wanting more and more to retreat the longer the silent staring went on.  To make matters even worse, the others came from the living room to see what was going and gave the same reaction.  Even Johnny was staring at her with his jaw agape, making her feel like she had made a very critical mistake.

As if sensing her unease, Manson mounted the steps two at a time to wrap his arms tightly around her.  “No, you look absolutely stunning,” he purred in a husky voice as he gave her a soul searing, lust filled kiss.

“I’ll say.  You see what just a little make-up can do?” Jeordie chirped from his position at the bottom of the stairs, drawing an amused chuckle from the rock star holding her.

“While the make-up certainly accented her natural beauty, I don’t think she needs it to look stunning,” Manson purred, rubbing his nose along hers and smiling in amusement as her faintly make-up coated cheeks flushed.  The rest of the gaggle, except for Twiggy, simply shrugged and went back to what they had been doing before; leaving Raven alone with Manson who was smirking down at her in a way that both made her want to run away and curious as to just what he was planning.

“Hey Twigs, ya remember what I said about a show for Raven,” the singer husked out, amusement and lust sparkling in his mismatched eyes as he smirked down at her.  Raven’s hazel eyes went wide with shock, embarrassment and lust as her jaw practically dropped through the floor.

“I’m game if you are Mare,” the ex-guitarist purred, prowling up the stairs like a sleek housecat.  His almost girlish hips swayed in a sensual way as his lust filled brown eyes rested on the pair at the top of the stairs.  Manson let out a satisfied growl in response, his heterochromic gaze watching Jeordie with appreciation and no small amount of desire.

Raven swallowed dryly as lust filled her in a hot rush from just seeing the latent chemistry between the two men as the effeminate ex-bandmate drew closer and closer.  Feeling downright flustered as well as embarrassed, the black haired female squirmed in the performer’s tight grasp like a fish on a hook.  “Y-you don’t have to put on  any show for me!” she squeaked out, her voice as husky as it was unsteady, making both men grin at her knowingly.

“Oh, I’d say from your reaction that you want us to,” Manson purred teasingly, wrapping an arm around Jeordie as the darker skinned man came to stand by his side.  Then, with a pointed smirk to Raven, he pulled the ex-guitarist into a heated kiss; both immediately locking tongues as if they were starved for sex.

When they finally broke away from eachother, Raven was watching them with desire darkened eyes as a dark blush covered her lightly made up cheeks.  Unknowingly, her tongue snaked out to slowly lick her dry lips as she let out a shaky breath.  “Mmm, I think she liked that Mare,” Twiggy purred, snuggling into the rock star’s side and resting his dreadlocked head on the other man’s shoulder.

“I think you’re right Jeordie,” Manson rumbled out, his voice rough and husky as his mismatched gaze fixed on her lips.

“Let’s move this party somewhere more private,” Jeordie sighed, looking up at the singer with a loving expression as he traced gentle circles in the performer’s chest.  Manson nodded in response, firmly leading Raven along on one side while holding the ex-guitarist close on the other.

Not having the brain power needed to protest due to a sudden short circuit in her wiring, Raven followed along placidly; making some of the cutest noises either of them had ever heard.  “Aw, I think the poor dear blew a fuse,” Twiggy teased as the rock star released him to swing open the door to his room.

“Already?  I can’t wait to see what she’ll do when I have you begging under me,” Manson rumbled out, his voice sound more like a growl as he lead them both inside and locked the door behind them.

The lock clicking into place brought Raven out of her stupor and she skittered away from the pair with a flustered squeak.  Her chest heaved as she looked at them with shy, lust filled eyes, making both of the men watching her chuckle in amusement.  “Y-you’re not really going to...,” she began, her voice shaky and throaty as her hazel eyes remained fixed on the pair.  Instead of answering directly, the rockstar pulled his ex-guitarist into a heated, hunger filled kiss, drawing a lust filled groan from the man in his arms.

The small noise shot right to her core, causing a large pulse of arousal that nearly made her moan out loud.  Some part of her was finding this whole thing incredibly hot and her flusterment went up a notch.  After a few moments of frenching, the two broke off; Manson panting raggedly while Twiggy whimpered needily as he rested his cheek against the rock star’s heaving chest.  Another jolt of arousal shot through her at the sight, drawing a shaky sigh from the embarrassed woman as she watched them.  Despite the scene being extremely embarrassing, she couldn’t take her eyes off it for a second.

Manson, noticing her close regard, smirked at her knowingly as he pulled Jeordie into another heated kiss; both of his hands coming to to grasp the ex-guitarist’s firm, jeans covered ass.  Twiggy whimpered breathily in response, moaning needily as his kiss grew more urgent against the singer’s lips.  The rock star only growled softly in response, breaking the kiss long enough to slowly take the ex-bandmates’ tight, black shirt off.  His hands purposefully ran along Jeordie’s bronze skin as he slowly drew the article of clothing off, drawing a ragged, need filled moan from the effeminate man.

Her heart felt like it was about to beat out of her chest and an aching need filled the junction between her legs as she watched the scene before her.  Her thighs unconsciously rubbed together in an effort to give her some relief as her arousal rose and ebbed within her like a tide, growing ever larger as time slowly went on.  Then they were kissing again, Jeordie making small keening noises as his tongue fought with Manson’s as he began to push the rock star towards the bed with his body.  “Mmf a bit eager?” the ‘Antichrist Superstar teased in a husky voice as he broke the kiss to give Twiggy an amused look.

“Shut up,” the ex-guitarist hissed, practically pouncing the singer and tackling him onto the bed and drawing a surprised noise from the male under him.  The super star barely had enough time to chuckle before his lips were captured in a searing kiss.

Then Jeordie was breaking the kiss to pull off Manson’s shirt, tossing it carelessly to the side before resuming the heated kiss.  The singer purred deep in his throat, his hips thrusting slightly under the ex-guitarist and drawing a lust filled moan from the dreadlock wearing man.  Then, in a blur of motion, the rock star had flipped both of them over so Twiggy was on his back and he was nestled firmly between the ex-bandmate’s legs.  This drew a low whimper of need from the squirming male as he looked up at the man over him with lust-filled eyes.  “No teasing this time Mare,” he begged breathlessly, fumbling with the button on his own tight jeans in his haste to get them off.

“No promises,” Manson husked out, leaning over the shuddering man to lick at a dark nipple; drawing a ragged yelp from Jeordie.

Her legs shaking too much to support her now, Raven slid to her knees as she watched the scene go on.  She had never been turned on by any sort of porn before, with the exception of some of the fanfics she read, so her body’s reaction was quite a shock to her.  Jolts of arousal rolled through her, causing the overwhelmed female to shudder helplessly as she watched.  The sexual aura in the air was so thick she could practically taste it and certainly wasn’t helping her current predicament any.  She was so aroused, it was nearly painful.

Turning his head slightly to check on Raven, a small, knowing smirk appeared on Manson’s face as he saw her condition.  So, with an utterly mischievous look on his pale face, the rock star moved to Twiggy’s other nipple and gave the taut flesh a lick.  “Ah, christ Mare!” Jeordie hissed, his hips jerking upward of their own accord and allowing the effeminate male to pull his jeans off.  The singer only chuckled in response, kissing his way slowly down the ex-guitarist’s quivering, bronze stomach.

Slowly working his way down, the super star encountered Twiggy’s pulsing, dribbling erection.  “Already so worked up, is exhibitionism one of your kinks?” the singer teased, his voice deep and throaty as he hovered near the erect flesh.

“Mare, just...  God, please,” Jeordie hissed urgently, fighting to keep his hips still so they wouldn’t thrust up into Manson’s face.

“Not yet.  We need to make sure our audience is more than satisfied,” the rock star rumbled out, a darkly amused grin on his face as he slid lower and held the other man’s hips up.  With gentle fingers, Manson spread open the tight pucker; drawing a needy moan from the male in front of him.

“N-not that Mare, anything but that,” the ex-guitarist gasped out, his voice on the very cusp of outright begging.

The ‘Antichrist Superstar’ only purred in response, slowly snaking out his tongue to lick at the exposed skin.  The reaction was immediate and violent, Twiggy’s torso arching upward as he gave a guttural cry of absolute pleasure.  Chuckling, the performer did it again; this time inserting the tip of his tongue into the tight, quivering hole.  “Ung, f-fuck,” Jeordie bit out, his voice strained from need and pleasure as his spread legs shuddered around Manson’s black haired head.  Taking the utterance as encouragement, the rock star inserted more of his tongue until the tip brushed against a small bump deep inside Twiggy’s shuddering passage.

“A-ah!  Hahn, fuck Mare!  Nmmm,” the now panting man gasped out, his hips jerking again as his erect member poured more pre onto his stomach.

As if sensing the ex-guitarist wouldn’t be able to take much more without blowing his load, the performer pulled back; licking his lips as he stared down at Jeordie with lust darkened, mismatched eyes.  Reaching forward with a tender hand, Manson almost loving cupped the other male’s cheek as he leaned over the ex-guitarist’s body to give him a chaste kiss; his free hand moving down to unfasten the jeans he still wore.

Raven watched all this from her position on the floor, her womanhood throbbing painfully with need.  Every small whimper from Twiggy’s quivering lips had sent a shock of arousal straight to her core, quickly making her arousal very painful and nearly impossible to ignore.  If it weren’t for the fact that she felt incredibly shy around the two men she would be giving herself some form of relief right now, mostly in the form of a hand down her jeans.  Sighing shakily, the flustered, highly aroused woman continued to watch the scene raptly.  She wasn’t about to miss any of this for the world.

Sliding his jeans off, Manson turned to look at Raven again as he positioned himself at Jeordie’s pulsing entrance.  A lust filled smile curled his lips as he drank in how flushed and aroused she looked, a deep purr of satisfaction leaving the rock star as he slowly slid into the ex-guitarist’s tight channel.  Twiggy moaned in response, his hips arching up as he sat up slightly to wrap his thin arms around the super star’s pale neck.  “Fuck, Mare move!” he squealed, his hips moving down on the erection impaling him.

Manson obliged with a grunt, his hands coming to grip Jeordie’s thin hips as he took the man under him viciously.  Each stroke brought a shaky, low moan from the ex-bandmate, the darker man shuddering in need and pleasure as something deep within him was stroked with almost brutal efficiency.  “Ahn, yes.  God yes.  M-more,” Twiggy grunted breathlessly before capturing the performer’s lips in a heated, needy kiss as he let out a pleasure filled keen.

Snarling almost possessively against his ex-guitarist’s lips, Manson began to trust deeper and harder; his mouth swallowing Jeordie’s passionate groans.  Breaking the kiss so he could catch his breath as he continued to thrust within the male under him, the rock star found his gaze wandering over to Raven.  Said woman was watching them with her lips slightly open, her hazel eyes dark with lust and need; the sight of her making a jolt of arousal shoot through his pulsing manhood.

Turning his attention back to the man keening and moaning under him, Manson lowered himself until their chests were touching; allowing his already deep strokes to go even deeper.  “Oh god!” Twiggy groaned in a guttural, much deeper voice as he hung on for dear life.  Manson only growled in response, soft pants of effort and pleasure leaving his lips as he kissed Jeordie’s brown neck.

“Raven,” he sighed in a lust filled voice, his hands tightening on the ex-guitarist’s hips almost painfully as his hips rocketed back and forth even faster.  Small moans left the singer’s lips as her practically burrowed his face in Twiggy’s shoulder.

“M-mare I’m g-gonna,” the effeminate man under him gasped just moments before his body went stiff.  With a loud, passionate cry of the singer’s name, Twiggy’s erection spurted out string after string of white semen.

Feeling the passage around him tighten and flutter as his ex-bandmate orgasmed, Manson began to thrust erratically as rough pants left him.  “Raven, oh Raven,” he sighed passionately, going stiff as he poured himself into Jeordie’s still quivering passage.  Then he collapsed onto the man beneath him, panting harshly as he turned his head to check on Raven’s reaction.

Raven stared at the pair with wide, desire darkened eyes; her pupils hugely dilated from her arousal.  Realizing it was now over, the flustered, lust filled woman cleared her throat and got shakily to her feet.  Seeing Manson like that, as well as hearing him call  her name and not Jeordie’s at the end, had only served to fan her already raging arousal.  Feeling very awkward all of a sudden and her core pulsing like an infected tooth, the embarrassed female simply unlocked the door and fled from the room; not hearing the amused chuckle of Manson behind her as the door slipped shut in her wake.

Some time later, after her body had calmed down efficiently for her to move around without feeling like the brush of her pants was gonna make her cum, Raven headed back downstairs.  She felt awkward and slightly off balance as she made her way slowly down the stairs.  After what happened a few minutes ago, she was unsure of how to react or feel.  She also dreaded the others somehow knowing and making fun of her for witnessing the act.  Shaking off the ridiculous thoughts, the still flustered woman slowly made her way to the living room to peek in.

Manson was in there by himself, leaning back in the couch with his eyes shut; as if waiting for something.  “Um, hi,” Raven said shyly, fidgeting nervously as his heterochromic eyes slowly slid open and a satisfied smirk curled his lips.

“Hello.  You certainly seemed to enjoy that,” he purred, slowly getting to his feet and moving towards her.  The way his body moved as he came towards her reminded her of a panther stalking its prey and she found herself backing away instinctually, drawing an amused chuckle from the rock star.

Then he shot forward, grabbing her waist tightly as he pulled her flush against his chest.  His eyes looked amused, yet sad as he grinned down at her.  Then his lips met hers in a brief, loving kiss, his arms tightening and shaking slightly around her as he pulled back to look in her eyes.  “We have to leave now sweetie,” he whispered in a slightly broken, reluctant voice; the tight arms around her telling her that he really didn’t want to let go.  Sighing in response, the pale female rested her forehead against his bony chest and wrapped her own arms around him.

“I really wish I could just come with you,” she whispered, her voice thick with tears as she snuggled into his warm body.

“I do too but you simply aren’t ready for that right now,” he replied, fear tinging his voice as he thought back to the one concert he had brought her to.

“At least it’ll only be a week,” she whispered softly, not noticing the two tears that slipped out of  her hazel eyes as she looked up at him.

Brushing away the tears with a gentle thumb, the rock star leaned down to plant a loving kiss on her forehead as he cradled her to him.  “A week is still far too long.  If you need me, for anything, you call,” he hissed, his voice thick with worry as his mismatched gaze bored into her.

“I will, I promise,” she murmured, more tears slipping down her cheeks as she found herself wondering just how she would survive the coming week.

The days seemed to crawl by unbearably slow, nearly driving Raven insane with the wait.  Johnny, Amanda and Jerome did their best to keep her flagging spirits high but it soon became clear to them that the only cure for her was for Manson to come home.  Still, they refused to give up; taking her out of the house on occasion and even engaging the depressed female in video games.  Yet she still seemed to be waiting on the edge of her seat for the singer to come back.

Finally the final day had come and Raven was both nervous and excited.  With Manson coming back from a tour, it would be unlikely he’d be going on one again any time soon.  The prospect of spending a long amount of time around her once idol both thrilled her and made her very apprehensive.  Johnny, Amanda and Jerome had all tried to lure her to the grocery store with them just to get her out of the house so she wouldn’t go crazy but she refused.  She wanted to be home when her boyfriend came back.  So when there was a knock on the door, the nervous female shot to the door to open it.  Fear immediately replaced excitement as she took in just who was at her door.

“Hey Meagan, long time no see,” sneered the man in front of her, a cruel leer on his pale face.  His cheek length, curly hair framed his face and his sky blue eyes glittered with an inner malice as he forced his way into the house.

“T-tony,” she gasped out in a fearful shaky voice, backing away from her ex as he closed the door behind himself.

“Aw, its does me good to hear you haven’t forgotten me after all these years.  What say we catch up on old times,” he snarled, ill will clear in his voice as he began to move towards her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some more Manson/Twiggy sex. Unf.


	25. Halted Momentum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING!!: There’s a scene that comes dangerously close to rape.

Raven made a dash for the stairs, her hazel eyes wide with fear as her heart stopped beating.  Behind her Tony made a leap for her, tackling her to the floor and effectively rolling them both along the floor.  They eventually came to a stop at the base of the stairs, her ex straddling over her and pinning her wrists above her head.  “I can’t believe ya actually did it.  How long were ya fucking him for?  Were ya fucking him when you were with me?” the seething male snarled, his hands tightening painfully.

“Get the fuck off me!” Raven screamed with more bravado than she actually felt.  On the inside, the words he was spewing made her heart lurch.  A long time ago, when she had first started dating Tony in high school, she had been much more obsessed with Manson.  She had even gone so far as to tell Tony that if she ever met the singer, she would leave him in a heartbeat.  It had been childish folly, not to mention her head was pretty fucked by her parents at that point, there was no way anything like that should have been taken seriously.

Instead of answering, Raven bucked her hips under Tony in an effort to throw him off, taking in a deep breath to scream for help.  Just as she was about to let loose, one of his hand clamped cruelly over her mouth as an insane grin appeared on his pale face.  “None of that now!  We wouldn’t want our reunion to be interrupted now would we,” he whispered his voice full of deadly promise as he leered down at her.  A cold rush of fear filled her entire body as she realized his eyes were roving over her clothed body hungrily.

Then, in a blur of black and snarling, Lady was upon him; her fangs buried in the arm holding her wrists.  A surprised, disappointed look passed over Tony’s paper white face before he flung his arm outward with a rapid violence, flinging the poor mutt off him and skidding her into a wall.  With a pained yelp, the terrified canine ran up the stairs with her tail between her legs.  Raven was so stunned by what was happening that she didn’t realize her arms were free until his hand clamped down on them again, tightly.  “Now, where were we.  Oh yes, you were gonna tell me just how long you’ve been fuckin’ Manson for,” he hissed, his voice low and deadly as his blue eyes glittered down at her maliciously.

Manson paced up and down the long expanse of the bus, his hands clasped behind his back and a muscle twitching occasionally in his cheek.  The other band members, with the exception of Tim, were watching him with semi-amused looks.  If it wasn’t for the fact that the singer was a walking powder keg, the entire group would have been highly entertained by his discomfiture.  None of them had ever seen the normally imposing man this nervous or excited.  “Manson, why don’t ya have a drink, sit down and relax.  Your pacing is making me dizzy,” Twiggy whined, earning horrified looks from John 5 and Ginger.  Pogo merely grinned and leaned back to watch the show.

The singer froze mid-step, making Ginger and John freeze in anticipation.  “A drink, yeah,” he muttered out in a dazed voice, as if the thought hadn’t occurred to him before then.  Then he was moving to the mini bar that was on the right wall of the bus and near the back bedroom.  As the oblivious performer pulled himself a glass of Vodka/Absinthe, Ginger and John were looking at Jeordie with a mixture of awe and disbelief.  The ex-guitarist merely smiled and shrugged, as if to say ‘What did you think was gonna happen?’

With alcohol in hand, Manson flopped on the couch in between Twiggy and Ginger; much to the drummer’s horror and dismay.  “Ginger, talk to me about Amanda,” the rock star hissed, slamming his drink down with one swallow.  A shudder ran through his thin frame as the liquid burned through his veins, drawing a small noise from his black lips as the bleach blonde drummer looked at him with confusion.

“Amanda?  Um, I haven’t gotten much of a chance to spend a lot of time with her but the little I have was amazing.  She’s smart, funny and has attitude to spare,” Ginger replied, his voice growing wistful as his brown eyes closed in remembrance.  He didn’t see the singer’s grimace of annoyance in response.

“You fell for her kinda fast didn’t you?  You barely know her to be honest.  Why do you feel so strongly for her?” Manson sighed, getting to his feet and going back to the bar to refill his glass.  He missed his bandmate watching him with an understanding look, a faint smile on his make-up coated face.

“We’re no longer talking about Amanda and I, are we?” the drummer asked gently, smiling slightly.  Twiggy and Pogo also grinned while John simply rolled his eyes irritably.  Ever since Raven had come into Manson’s life, the singer’s temper had really started to mellow.  Yet he was still cantankerous enough for it to amuse all of them to see him so uncharacteristically insecure and unsure.

Manson froze for a moment before filling his glass and returning to his spot on the couch.  “Dita...  She’s got me thinking about things best not thought about.  About past relationships.  I... I love Raven more than anything, I can’t fucking lose her.  It just, it scares me that I barely know anything about her and she had this much power over me,” he confessed in a gruff voice, knocking the greenish fluid back with a wince as he glared at the carpet beneath his boots. A gentle grip on his right arm made him turn his head towards Twiggy who was looking at him with a sympathetic grin.

“Love is scary man, I know that better than anyone.  But when it’s real, it’s worth the trouble,” Jeordie reassured him, placing a brotherly arm around the singer’s bony, clothed shoulders.  The rock star froze for a moment before letting out a slow, shaky breath.

“How do you know when it’s real?  I’ve been fooled so many times now.  So many woman who I thought were real,” he replied in a tortured sounding voice.

All of a sudden John 5 was standing from the chair beside the couch, moving to stand in front of Manson.  “I have no doubt that Raven loves you with all her heart and that she’ll never betray you if she can help it,” the guitarist bit out, his brown eyes shining with impatience.  As soon as the words left his mouth, his bandmates all stared at him with astonishment; especially Manson and Ginger.

“Uh, you  are John, right?  You know, the moody asshole who has  never approved of any of my relationships since Dita?” Manson asked in an incredulous voice, quirking a naked brow at the bleach blonde in front of him.

“Very funny Mare but I’m dead serious.  She’s... different than the others.  She actually seems to care about the person under the fame and make-up,” the guitarist continued, irritation evident in his voice as he glared down at the rock star.

“I  know that!  I  know she’s not like anything I’ve ever seen before!  It’s just fucking Dita!  Just her presence makes my mind go routes it normally wouldn’t,” the ‘Antichrist Superstar’ bit out, his hands coming up to grasp his head tightly.

“It’s not just Dita that’s made you like this.  Yeah she may have been a catalyst but there’s something else going on here.  She made you remember Melinda didn’t she?” Twiggy asked gently, drawing a hiss from Pogo.  The keyboardist’s head was turned to face the ex-guitarist, a vicious, furious glare on his normally jolly face.  Even Ginger and John 5 winced at the mention of her name, both watching Manson’s reaction warily.

“Yes.  Did you guys know we still haven’t slept together,” the singer replied in an all too quiet voice, his baritone voice deceptively soft.  His mismatched eyes had lowered to glare at the wall across from the couch as his hands clasped tightly between his jeans clad legs.  He didn’t see the surprised looks from four men surrounding him.

“I’m just as shocked as you guys but she has some... issues.  She’s told me some of it so I know enough to understand why she’s reluctant but I can’t help but question if it’ll  ever happen.  Remembering Melinda and how similar she was to Raven certainly isn’t helping my confusion about the matter,” the rock star continued in a tortured sounding voice, getting to his feet and moving back to the mini bar to pour himself another drink.

“Mare, she loves you with all her heart.  I have no doubt in my mind that she’d lay down her life for you and I’ve only briefly seen how you two act together.  She worships the ground you walk on.  I can see in her eyes that you’re the most important person in her world,” Twiggy replied gently, following close behind the performer and placing a gentle hand on the distraught man’s back.

“I know Jeordie.  I can feel it every time her arms wrap around me.  I can feel it in her kiss and the way she’s starting to trust me more and more.  I just can’t keep myself from questioning her and I hate it.  I hate that Dita is making me second guess the best thing that has happened to me in a long time,” Manson replied, his voice strained and angry sounding as he poured himself another Vodka/Absinthe.

“But it’s not Dita that’s making you doubt Raven.  It’s Melinda and just how much she reminds you of her.  Brian, you have to let this go.  Even  you said that there’s no reason at all to doubt Raven’s motivations for being with you,” Jeordie replied, a firmness to his voice as he turned the rock star around to face him.

“After everything that you two have gone through together, you should be the  last one to question whether or not she actually loves you,” he continued softly, his brown eyes meeting Manson’s mismatched gaze.

“I know Jeordie...,” the singer replied, his voice full of doubt as his gaze shifted to the left.  He knew everything his former lover said was true logically but knowing it emotionally was a whole different matter.  Could he let got of all the heartbreak in his past and trust Raven?  A disturbingly large part of him desperately wanted the answer to be yes.

“Hey, we’re coming up on the house guys!” came Tim’s accented voice from the front, making Manson fill with anticipation and nervousness all over again

Sobs escaped the shaking female as rough hands ripped her remaining clothing off her pale body.  Despite the fact her wrists were trapped in an iron grip, the sobbing, hysterical woman tried to curl into a fetal position to shield herself from her attacker’s eager gaze.  “None of that now Meggy,” came a cruel, malice filled purr from above her as he moved lower to sit on her legs, effectively pinning them.

“Get the fuck out of my house!” she screamed in a fear-filled, nearly insane voice as he lowered himself down to lick at one of her bared nipples.

“You’re in no position to make demands.  Why don’t you show me the tricks your new fuck stick is teaching you,” Tony hissed darkly before biting down hard on the sensitive bud in his mouth.

Raven screamed as white hot agony jolted through her.  Her hips bucked up as her body desperately tried to dislodge the source of the pain purely on instinct.  Then it all stopped as he pulled his teeth from her flesh, blood gushing out of the deep wound in a warm torrent.  Pain still throbbed in the abused skin like a rotten tooth, drawing a shaky moan from the petrified female.  “L-leave me the fuck alone,” she whimpered, pain still jolting from the oozing bite in thick ropes of electricity going through her body.

“No can do Meggy-poo.  You see, you never gave me any when we were together and now I find out that you were probably giving it to a rock star all along.  It just isn’t fair, you know.  I put up with your useless ass for four years and all I got out of it was a huge migraine.  Well it’s about time you paid up, wouldn’t you say?” Tony snarled from above her, using his free hand to move a strand of his curly, brown hair behind his ear.

Raven’s panic filled, hazel eyes widened in understanding as she refreshed her useless struggles under him.  She may as well have been struggling against steel beams for all the effect she was having.  “Somebody!  Fucking  help me!! ” she screamed as loud as she could, faintly tasting blood in the back of her throat from the force of her voice.  Tony only laughed cruelly at the outburst, allowing his icy blue eyes to freely roam over her naked body, causing a wave of revulsion to rise thickly within her.  All she could do was hope either someone heard her or the others came back soon.

Closing her eyes and going board stiff she tried to ignore the feeling of her ex’s disgusting eyes looking her over.  Then he was leaning forward again, his lips capturing her non-injured nipple as his free hand came to roughly group her injured breast; drawing a cry of agony from the female beneath him.  Her entire world exploded into bright, white pain once again as her injury was jostled roughly and her body once again instinctually tried to buck to offender off to no avail.  “God  help me! ” Raven screamed out again, panic and desperation beating a frantic tempo in her head.  Both were so occupied with each other that neither noticed the front door practically get kicked open.

Manson stumbled into the entry hall, his heterochromic eyes immediately searching for Raven.  He had heard her fear filled screams from outside as they had pulled in and had wasted not time in getting out of the tour bus.  The sight that he was greeted with made his vision go red with sheer rage.  A strange man had a very naked Raven trapped under him with one of her nipples lodged in his mouth.  The fact that the other appeared to be bleeding only fanned his anger and he leapt on the man, forcing both of them into a scuffle.

The other members of the band came running in behind him and immediately took stock of the situation.  Once the five men saw the state of Raven and who Manson was currently locked in hand to hand combat with they instantly sprung into action.  Ginger and Twiggy went right to the shaking Raven, who had burst into sobs and was desperately trying to shield her naked body.  As the two of them led her gently upstairs, Pogo, Tim and John moved to help Manson with the assailant.  Currently the singer was sitting on top of the man and was struggling to pin him to the floor.

Pogo and Tim moved to secure his shoulders while John 5 grabbed his kicking legs, allowing Manson to release his tight grip and sit up to assess the male beneath him.  The brown haired man looked up at him with hate filled, blue eyes before simply spitting into the rock star’s make-up coated face.  “She felt just as good as I remember,” the stranger chuckled darkly, a malicious smirk on his face even as Manson punched his lights out.

Raven shakily put on some clothes before she left her bedroom again.  Ginger and Twiggy were waiting right there for her, worried and angry looks on their faces.  “Do you need help with...,” began the bleach blonde drummer, gesturing awkwardly to her injured left breast with a blush.

“No but I’ll probably need to go to the hospital if it’s bad enough,” she replied quietly, avoiding both of their gazes as she moved towards the bathroom.

“Sweetie, I can’t just let ya do that by yourself,” Jeordie whispered kindly, a concerned look on his bronze face as he began to move towards her.  The fearful look she gave him made him pause but he held his hands up to show he meant no harm.

“I... you... and,” Raven stammered, mortification thick in her voice as she gestured from herself, to Twiggy and finally to the position of her injury.  To her relief, understanding came into Jeordie’s chocolate colored eyes and an amused chuckle left his lips.

“Hun, hasn’t your gaydar even pinged yet?  I can assure you I have no interest in your assets, as lovely as they no doubt are,” the ex-guitarist replied, humor thick in his voice as he grinned at her teasingly.  Even Ginger snickered a bit at the idea of Twiggy seeing Raven in a sexual manner.

“Somehow, that doesn’t help,” the shy female whispered, avoiding the gaze of both men as she fumbled for the bathroom door.

“Raven, I just want to help.  Really.  You have nothing at all to be worried about from me,” Jeordie assured in a serious voice, grabbing her arm in a gentle but firm grip.  His worried, brown eyes were fixed on her black clad back as she seemed to consider his words.  In the short time he had spent with her, he found himself considering her sort of a sister.  What happened to her just seconds ago honestly made him worried for the all too quiet woman.

Biting her lower lip lightly, the black haired woman considered his quiet words.  Could she put aside her own issues long enough to let this man help her if it meant him seeing her naked breasts?  It didn’t matter to her that Jeordie was as straight as a curly fry, what mattered was it was someone looking at her; someone seeing her horrible, ugly body.  A body that was now desperately dirty.  Shuddering slightly as tears filled her hazel eyes, Raven turned her head to look at the dreadlocked male assessingly.  “It’s not that I’m worried you’ll pull something,” she began in a small voice, her throat locking up and making it nearly impossible for her to continue.

Twiggy watched her closely, his soulful eyes almost seeming to read her.  Then he was pulling her into a gentle, brotherly hug, one of his brown skinned hands resting on the back of her head.  “I see.  I know it won’t mean much from me but you shouldn’t be as ashamed of yourself.  You have more than just outer beauty and that’s far more precious,” he whispered in an assuring, yet firm tone as he held her in a platonic embrace.  Raven only let out a quiet sob in response, holding onto Jeordie as the floodgates slowly swung open.

Giving Ginger a pointed look, the ex-guitarist opened the bathroom and gently led Raven inside.  As the door slid shut, the bleach blonde drummer was moving down the stairs as fast as his legs could carry him.  He had a suspicion of just who that man had been downstairs and if he was right it would be a miracle if the others hadn’t killed him yet.  Somehow doubting Amanda would be okay with a murder taking place in her house, Ginger could only pray he wasn’t too late as he vaulted down the stairs.

John and Tim both held Manson against the wall as Pogo sat on the unconscious assailant with a cell phone pressed to his head.  The singer was currently doing his best to tear away from the two men holding him to continue beating an already very bloody would be rapist while the mohawked keyboardist gave the police their current address.  This being the scene Ginger came upon, the confused drummer immediately moving to assure the pissed rock star.  “Jeordie’s taking care of Raven,” he soothed, stunned when Manson turned to him with a vicious ferocity.

“Don’t talk to me about that lying slut!” he snarled, his voice dripping with venom as his mismatched eyes burned with betrayal.

“Manson, wha?” Ginger began, astonishment and fear filling his voice as he took a couple steps away from the performer.

“Don’t bother!  Asshole said some lie about fucking Raven before and pissed him off more than I’ve ever seen him!  He’s beyond any reason,” John grunted from his position on the rock star’s left shoulder.

“I should have never believed the lying little cunt,” Manson hissed darkly, hurt prevalent under the deep rage and betrayal. The four members in the room with him all turned to fix him with a heated, impatient glare.

“Great, the asshole’s gone full stage persona,” Ginger bit out irritably, giving the stairs a worried glance.  If Raven came back while the performer was still like this there was no telling what would happen.  Manson had completely retreated from reality and simply let his innate temper take over thinking for him in self defense.

Raven looked away as Jeordie gingerly cleaned and disinfected the deep bite.  “Doesn’t look like you’ll need stitches.  A couple butterfly bandages should do nicely,” he assessed brightly, beginning to apply said bandages.

“Do you... do you think Manson will be mad?” asked the shaken female, avoiding his gaze with a blush on her pale cheeks.  Her heart thudded in her chest wildly and her hands were tightened into white knuckled fists on the toilet seat beside her.

“Of course not sweetie!  Why on earth would he be mad at you for nearly getting raped,” Twiggy asked, shock evident in his voice as he finished dressing her wound.

“I... can hear him down there...,” she sighed in a broken voice, a lone tear rolling down her pale cheek as she released a shuddery sigh.  The dreadlock wearing ex-guitarist froze for a moment before sighing softly.

“He’s not really mad at you sweetheart.  He’s just mad in general.  You just happen to be a source of doubt in his mind so he latched onto that as a reason,” he continued after a bit stepping back and looking away as the quiet woman put her clothes back on.

“He’s had a lot of failed relationships,” she replied, more of a statement than a question.  She wasn’t all that surprised by the reaction Manson was having but she felt oddly disappointed.  They had been growing very close very quickly, almost becoming inseparable.  It was natural for anyone to be afraid of what was happening between them.  Was it too much to ask that he put aside whatever doubts he had for now and just offer her comfort?

Sighing in a resigned manner, she gave Twiggy a bone tired look before squaring her shoulders.  She would have to be ready for anything when she went down there.  There were a few possibilities for Manson’s current mood and none of them were at all favorable.  Swallowing her lingering fear and trauma from the events of earlier, Raven exited the bathroom and began to head downstairs with Jeordie following close behind.  “No matter what he says to you, remember he doesn’t mean it,” he whispered in her ear, giving her shoulder a comforting squeeze as they reached the landing.

Biting back a bitter comment about how she didn’t find that helpful, Raven slowly headed towards the small cluster of people that was gathered on the right side of the stairs.  Manson leveled her with such a hate filled glare as she came into his line of vision that it made her blood turn to ice.  Her heart skipped several beats in her chest as her vision began to double from the tears filling her eyes.  “You lying little whore,” he snarled out venomously, tearing himself free of the two men holding him to launch himself at her.

Fear exploded inside her as she was slammed against the wall and his closed fist was slowly cocked into the air above her face.  “How many men have you fed that ‘I’m a virgin’ lie to just to get in their pants?” he bit out harshly, spit flying in her face as he brought his face close enough to kiss.

“ Manson! ” roared Twiggy as he fairly threw himself over the side of the stairs and on top of the furious rock star.

“You  fucking asshole!  She nearly gets raped by her abusive as fuck ex, he feeds you some bullshit and you swallow it hook, line and sinker?!” Jeordie roared in the singer’s stunned face as he pinned the much taller man to the tile.

“What the hell?  Oh my god... Raven?  What the fuck did that asshole do to her?!” came a familiar female roar, bringing Manson back to himself with a jolt.

“Raven?  What the hell happened?  Who the hell is that?” came Johnny’s worried, enraged voice to join to chorus that was quickly making the ex-guitarist’s head throb.

“E-fucking-nough!” roared the fed up, effeminate male that was currently pinning Manson.  Everyone went dead silent, all of them stopping in their tracks with the exception of Amanda.  She continued to run towards Raven until she had the sobbing, shaking female wrapped into a tight hug.  Manson looked up at the distraught female from his position on the floor, guilt written all over his make-up covered face.  Everything he said to her and about her rang in his memory with sharp clarity, making his heart twist painfully in his chest.

Jeordie glowered down at him with disappointed eyes before he launched into an explanation of what they had come home to as well as what happened after.  When he had finished, Johnny was also hugging Raven while both he and Amanda glared at Manson with rage filled eyes.  “How dare you?  I mean how  dare you!” the curly haired female hissed, releasing her friend to stalk towards the still pinned rock star.

“Jerome, get him the hell outta here for now.  The police will deal with the other guy,” Johnny hissed, his baritone voice thick with disappointment as he continued to hold Raven close to him.

“N-no!  No!” Raven gasped out, trying to break away from the actor to run to Manson.  Even from her position far away from him, she could see the guilt and abject regret in his heterochromic gaze.  Despite how he had acted towards her just seconds ago she felt an undeniable urge to hide in his arms and never come out.

“Raven...,” the goateed star began, looking down at the struggling woman with concerned eyes.

“Please, please.  He didn’t mean to do any of it,” she pleaded in a heart broken, desperate voice, squirming like a fish on a hook in an effort to be free.

Jeordie turned to look back at Raven with sad eyes before turning back to glare at Manson.  The singer beneath him wasn’t struggling but certainly looked very distressed from hearing Raven’s desperate pleas.  “Let her go.  He’s not gonna hurt her,” he sighed, slowly clambering off the rock star and allowing him to get to his feet.  As soon as Manson was standing, Johnny reluctantly released Raven who immediately ran to the performer and wrapped her arms around him as tight as she could.

“Raven... I have nothing I can say to excuse what I almost did to you, what I said.  Can you ever forgive me...,” he asked in a soft, guilt ridden voice as he wrapped his arms loosely around her.  Guilt ate at him like an acid as he looked down at the shaking female in his arms.  She had done nothing to deserve his blow up or his mistrust and he found himself afraid of himself for the first time.

“I already have!” she sobbed loudly, burrowing her face into the rough material of his t-shirt.  Despite the close call earlier, she knew for certain that Manson would never have actually hit her.  Everything he had said was because of his own insecurities caused by Dita’s constant interference and a string of bad relationships.  The Manson that was currently holding her was nothing but loving and full of guilt for the hurt he had caused her.  Right now none of that mattered.  Right now all she wanted was to feel the safety of her boyfriend’s arms around her.

“You shouldn’t.  I said some things, did some things I never should have,” he whispered, his voice broken and distant as he allowed her to cry in his shirt.

“You didn’t mean any of them though, did you?” Raven replied softly, looking up at him with fear filled eyes.

“At first I very much did.  I didn’t even stop to think that what he told me was a lie.  All I knew was that you betrayed me, that you lied to me and I had to make you pay for it,” the rock star replied in the same soft, distant tone as he looked down at her with tears brimming in his eyes.

“Raven, Dita came to that concert you went to in Vegas and stirred some ancient shit up.  It’s been fucking with my head and now I’m afraid.  I’m afraid of what I might do,” he whispered, tears beginning to roll down his cheeks as his entire body began to shake.

“Wh-what are you saying?” Raven asked in a fear filled voice as he began to pull away from her and started to walk towards the front door.

“I’m saying I need some time to myself to get my head on straight.  I’ll keep in touch but I won’t be seeing you for a bit,” the singer replied softly in a broken voice as he started to open the door.

“Marilyn, don’t,” Raven gasped out in a heartbroken voice, her heart stopping in her chest as she began to stumble after him.  The muscle in her chest felt like it was gripped in a glass filled vice, making it hard for her to breathe; let alone move.

“I’ll come back, I promise,” he assured softly as he simply walked through the door and shut it behind him.  Raven slowly slid to her knees as a heartbroken sob ripped from her chest, surprising everyone in the room with her.  Johnny, Amanda, Ginger and Twiggy all gathered the stricken female into a group hug and allowed her to sob into their supportive shoulders.

“He’ll come back sweetie, he always keeps his promises,” Jeordie assured her, looking back at John 5 and Tim with a worried look.  With Manson alone in his current state, there was no telling just what the rock star would do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: ‘Down the dark decades of your pain, this will seem like a memory of Heaven.’ - Pinhead (Hellraiser)


	26. Like a Spiral Staircase

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: ‘If only all of Rome had just one neck.’ - Caligula (Movie of same name)

    “And just who the hell said you assholes could stay here?!” Amanda snarled at the band members who stubbornly refused to leave.  The police had already come to arrest Tony and had long since left with him in the back of their car.  Johnny, Ginger and Twiggy had helped Raven move to the kitchen while Pogo and John 5 had stayed in the foyer with the furious, curly haired woman.

    “No one,” the half insane keyboardist sing-songed, tittering slightly.

    “We’re not gonna leave her alone,” the guitarist grumbled, staring over Amanda’s head and into the kitchen with a dimly concerned look.

    “Just leave them be Mandy, we’re her friends too,” Ginger called from the kitchen, not moving from Raven’s side as Twiggy went to the fridge to get her something to drink.

    “Right now I don’t give a rat’s ass about that!  You guys are his fucking band!  I don’t know what he did yet but I’m pretty sure I don’t want very many, if any of you in my house at all right now!” exclaimed the enraged female, moving into the kitchen to glare daggers at Ginger.  The drummer flinched back from the heated glare, an expression reminiscent of a kicked puppy briefly crossing his pale, acne scarred face.

    The look on his face made an expression of regret briefly cross Amanda’s own face before she heaved an exasperated sigh and sat in a chair beside him.  “I don’t want them to leave,” came a weak, dispirited whisper from the other side of the bleach blonde man, making everyone in the room turn to look at the source.  Raven looked back up at them with tear filled, lifeless hazel eyes.

    “We’re not gonna leave sweetie.  Here, drink this,” Jeordie whispered kindly, reaching between her and Johnny to place a Red Pop on the table.

    The traumatized female only smiled weakly, the expression not reaching her nearly dead looking eyes as she took the bottle in her hand.  “Raven, I wish I could do something to help you feel better,” the actor to her left murmured softly, his voice full of worry as he wrapped a gentle arm around her tense shoulders.

    “I don’t think anything will,” she murmured in a dead sounding voice, uncapping the bottle and taking a long swig.

    “I’m sorry about what I said Ging.  I’m just frustrated.  All these years of peacefulness have been utterly ripped apart and Raven got caught in the middle,” Amanda muttered in the lull in conversation, her curly haired head hung slightly in shame.

    “You’re very protective of Raven, so I’m not surprised you reacted the way you did.  Just keep in mind that we were the ones protecting her,” Ginger replied softly, wrapping an arm loosely around her shoulders and pulling her close.  Neither noticed Raven watching them both with a wide grin on her face.

    Despite the fact that her heart had a gaping hole in it right now, it did the pale woman good to see her childhood friend getting so close with the kind drummer.  It was then that she began to get an idea of just how she would make herself feel better.  A devious grin curled her lips as her hazel eyes continued to watch the pair.  As Ginger stood behind Amanda to massage her shoulders, Raven began to formulate plans to get the two of them even closer.

    Johnny, noticing the devious look on Raven’s face, only smiled in relief.  At least it didn’t look like she was going to harm herself any time soon.  Right now it seemed as if the pale female was plotting something involving Amanda and Ginger.  His own grin turning devious, the goateed actor leaned toward the woman beside him.  “Whatever you’re planning, I’d be glad to help,” he whispered, his brown eyes watching the oblivious pair.  Raven smiled up at him in response before she turned to look at Twiggy.

    Jeordie, who had been watching the entire exchange, only grinned at her in response.  He then gave a short nod before wandering off into the living room.  If this was going to go off without a hitch, he would need to involve the other band members.  John 5 wouldn’t be a problem and neither would Tim but Pogo was always a wildcard.  An amused chuckle leaving his lips, the ex-guitarist stood in front of his fellows.  “Who’s up for a bit of matchmaking?” he asked, his brown eyes sparkling with humor.

    All too soon the whole group had managed to work out a plan, Twiggy acting as a go between for the two groups to avoid suspicion from the unaware couple.  Ginger was even busy making Amanda some tea and Amanda herself was busy writing something for her job.  With the two being so distracted, it only made the conspiring easier.  “Okay Johnny, you know the drill,” Raven whispered out of the side of her mouth, watching as the drummer resumed his spot beside her roomie.  The actor only nodded in response before he glanced back at Twiggy for confirmation.  The ex-guitarist only grinned widely as he gave Johnny a thumbs up.

    “Hey Raven, would you like to go to dinner with me to help get your mind off that jerk,” the goateed star asked nonchalantly, throwing an arm around the pale females shoulder and pulling her close.  Raven let out a squeak in response, her white cheeks going red from the nearness to the movie star.

    “U-uhm, s-sure but for the record he’s not a fucking jerk,” she replied, her voice only sounding lightly irritated as she smacked his chest playfully.  Amanda’s head jerked up at the suggestion, her green eyes narrowing slightly.

    “If you think I’m about to let you go anywhere with any man alone right now, you’ve got another thing coming,” the protective female hissed, getting to her feet and glaring at Johnny.  The actor immediately raised both his hands to show he meant no harm, smiling at the curly haired woman reassuringly.

    “Well, I was planning on asking you and Ginger to join,” Raven replied, amusement clear in her voice as she took in her friend’s reaction.

    “Oh,” Amanda replied, embarrassment tinging her voice as her pale cheeks flushed and she sat back down.  Raven only chuckled in response, getting up to move closer to her roomie and ruffling her curly, brown hair.  Amanda hissed, flailing at her irritably in response.  Only Ginger was looking at the pair with suspicion, his brown his fixed solely on Raven.  The black haired female merely tilted her head once she noticed, affecting an innocent look that didn’t fool the drummer one bit.

    “Where were you thinking of going?” he sighed, turning to look at a still embarrassed Amanda.

    Manson sat on the edge of his bed in his hotel room, his face buried in his hands and his fingers entwined in his ebony hair.  His head was a whirlwind of memories, all them bad as well as about his past relationships.  The one that stood head and shoulders above the rest was Dita.  Her cruel words about all his past girlfriends as well as Raven repeated in his head over and over like a broken record.  Letting loose a deep growl of frustration, the singer shot to his feet and stalked out towards the kitchen of his suite.  Once there he poured himself a large glass of vodka/absinthe, knocking back the mixture in one go and shuddering as the liquid burned its way down.  “What the fuck is wrong with me?!  Raven loves me unconditionally!  Hasn’t she more than proven that by now?” he hissed out, banging a closed fist down on the marble counter.

    ‘Who are you kidding Brian?  Who could ever stand to be around you let alone love you?’ Dita cackled from within his head, drawing a harsh snarl from the rock star as he punched the wall above the counter.  Rage swirling in his mismatched gaze, Manson simply stormed out of his room and into the city to find someone to vent his temper on.

    Johnny and Raven sat on one side of the table with Ginger and Amanda on the other.  Both couples were busy perusing a menu, Ginger occasionally looking over the thin booklet to glare at the two across from them suspiciously.  Raven, who had decided on a cheeseburger, lowered her menu and caught the drummer giving her the stinkeye.  The pale female only grinned back at him, her hazel eyes flicking the her childhood friend.  The bleach blonde only rolled his eyes but smiled very slightly before he returned to looking at the menu.  “I think Ging is on to us,” Johnny murmured in Raven’s ear as he leaned over to wrap an arm around her shoulders.

    “Are you honestly surprised with what he has to live with?  The poor guy is probably constantly on his guard for potential traps,” the pale female sighed into his ear, a blush coloring her cheeks as she leaned into the actor to help their facade.

    “So what would you like to do after dinner Mandy?” Ginger asked, surprising the three other people at the table.  A light blush coloring her cheeks, Amanda cleared her throat as she met the drummer’s steady, warm gaze.

    A wide grin spreading over her face, Raven watched the pair across from them with a sly grin.  Things were going much more smoothly than expected, now if only she could find a convenient excuse for her and Johnny to separate from the pair at the end of dinner.  A feat that wasn’t going to be easy with recent events being what they were.  “W-well there is that new Superman movie out now,” Amanda replied in a shy voice, oblivious to how Raven was looking at her.  Ginger smiled in response, his eyes flicking briefly to the pair across from them.

    All too soon a waiter appeared at their table, eager to take their orders.  As the night wore on, Amanda was soon completely relaxed; joking with Ginger as if he was a lifelong friend.  Even Johnny and Raven had begun to treat this as no more than just another double date with friends, laughing and joking back with the other couple.  Ginger was just finishing up a humorous story about Manson getting drunk and nearly wandering on stage naked when the waiter brought their check.  “I’ll get it!” all four shouted at once, four different hands clapping down on the piece of paper at once.

    “You got the last one,” both Ginger and Johnny sighed in exasperation at the curly haired female who glared daggers at them as well as Raven.

    “Fine, let me at least pay for my own meal,” Amanda insisted, glaring heatedly at both Johnny and Ginger who were looking at eachother with surprise.

    “It’s not what you think Ging!  It was a pay-per-view movie to help take our minds off of Raven while she was at the concert with Manson,” the actor assured, holding his hands up in a gesture of surrender.

    Taking advantage of the moment of confusion, Amanda yanked the bill free with a triumphant noise.  She held it above her head, waving it with a look of satisfaction on her pale face while the other three let out exasperated noises.  Then Ginger was grabbing onto her arm in a gentle but firm grip, a serious look on his pale, acne scarred face.  “Amanda, please, just this once allow me to pay for your meal.  It would mean a lot to me if you would allow me that privilege,” he murmured, his smooth, baritone voice holding a pleading tone as his chocolate eyes locked with her green ones.

    While Amanda was staring at the drummer with a slack jaw and a light blush on her white cheeks, the bleach blonde leaned forward until his body was a bare inch from touching hers.  His eyes bored into hers intensely as a smile curled his red painted lips, causing the now flustered female to let out a small, breathless squeak.  Using her distraction against her, the drummer slowly worked the receipt from her loosened grip; placing an affectionate peck on her nose in the process.  Almost immediately the curly haired woman went an impressive shade of beet red, not making a sound of protest as Ginger handed the bill and the money for their meals to Johnny.

    Raven and Johnny, who had been watching the scene with a mixture of awe and awkward embarrassment, looked at each other and gave a slight nod as the actor took the slip of paper and wad of cash from the drummer.  “Raven and I are gonna head back to my suite for the night, you two go ahead and have fun at that movie,” the handsome star murmured, wrapping an arm around Raven’s shoulder and pulling her close to his side.  That statement seemed to break Amanda out of her slight daze as she turned to fix Johnny with a suspicious glare.

    “Mandy, Johnny has been nothing but kind to me.  There’s really nothing to worry about,” Raven reassured her worried childhood friend.  The brown haired female only narrowed her eyes assessingly before letting out a reluctant sigh.

    “Fine but if he so much as raises his fucking voice at you and you call me immediately,” she hissed, her green eyes narrowed and fixed solely on the actor who immediately removed his hand from Raven’s shoulder.

    Low moans that sounded pained as well as pleasured filled the dark room as two sweaty forms moved in unison.  A pair of black smeared lips viciously locked with the pair of trembling lips below them as a low snarl rumbled from a bony chest.  “Mine, you’re mine,” hissed a vicious, male baritone as teeth clamped down on a pale throat.  A feminine cry of pain filled the room as a pale, black nailed hand roamed to a heaving breast and squeezed roughly.  Bony hips drove forward to met the woman’s, causing a grunt from both parties.

    “Why, why won’t you fucking let me touch you Raven?!  Really touch you?!” came a gruff, emotion filled snarl as he pulled back; only to drive forward again.  The bound and blindfolded woman beneath him only groaned in response, her red nailed hands playing with the black scarves around her wrists.

    “I love you so much Raven.  God, I wish you knew how I ache to see you, to taste you, to have you,” whispered a gruff, tortured voice as he began to take the female in earnest.  Red filled his vision as he tilted his back, vein standing out in his porcelain neck as he exploded inside the condom he wore.

    “I don’t know what to do.  How long are you going to make me wait?  Why won’t Dita just shut the fuck up!” he rumbled, collapsing on the female slightly as his numb fingers untied her wrists.

    Once one was free, the black haired prostitute immediately freed herself; looking down briefly at the now seemingly sleeping man on top of her.  Despite how roughly he had treated her, the guy obviously had some issues to work out.  Sighing softly, Aura pulled herself free of the sleeping john and got to her feet.  As she got dressed, the female kept glancing at the sleeping male.  The lanky fellow was now holding onto a ragged looking dog plush, making distressed noises as he fidgeted in his sleep.

    Deciding to leave well enough alone, Aura gathered her money and gave him one last glance before she simply walked out of the room.  She didn’t see the man burrow his nose into the well loved toy and inhale deeply.  “Raven, what do I do?” he sighed in with his eyes closed, two tears slipping down his makeup smeared cheek.  Low, quiet sobs continued to leave the male, unheard by anyone but the cockroaches under the fridge as a pair of pain filled, mismatched eyes opened in the darkness.

    Amanda blushed as she sat next to Ginger, her hand held loosely in one of his as the beginning previews began.  “Are you sure you wouldn’t like me to get you anything?” the drummer fairly purred, leaning a bit closer as he gave her hand a gentle squeeze.  Swallowing slightly, the blushing woman only shook her head; her brown curls swaying slightly from the movement.  The bleach blonde only rolled his brown eyes before leaning close enough to brush her ear with his lips.

    “I’ll be back in a second,” he husked into her ear, smirking slightly at the shudder that ran through her thin frame.  Then he was gone, leaving behind a stunned, bright crimson Amanda.

    All too soon he was back, holding a huge popcorn and two large sodas.  Rolling her green eyes, Amanda glared at him playfully as she crossed her thin arms over her chest.  “Well, I figured that we could share the popcorn and that you’d need a drink,” Ginger explained smoothly, smiling at her as he sat beside the brown haired female.  She only continued to glare at him with mock anger before she took the offered drink.

    “Thanks,” she murmured, giving the drummer a small smile as she took a handful of popcorn.  As she munched on the fluffy, butter covered substance, Ginger took the opportunity to take her free hand in his once again.  Swallowing a bit gruffly, Amanda looked up at the drummer; unconsciously licking her butter covered lips.

    His chin length, blonde hair hanging in his pale face, the musician only smiled down at the flustered woman fondly.  It looked as if the normally shy male wanted to say something but the beginning credits began to roll and Ginger focused his attention to the screen.  Not sure whether to feel relieved or disappointed, Amanda shyly leaned into the drummer, smiling when he wrapped an arm loosely around her shoulders.  For the moment, all her worries about Raven and Manson fled her mind and she found herself simply enjoying being in the blonde’s company.

    Raven flopped on the couch in Johnny’s suite, a content noise leaving her lips and she leaned back into the soft cushions.  “You okay Raven?” came a concerned male voice from behind her, making her turn her head to look at the speaker.  Johnny met her hazel gaze evenly, concern evident in his eyes as he moved towards her slowly.  It was almost as if he was afraid to startle her and the pale female couldn’t help but smile at him.

    “Yeah, just thinking about a few things,” she replied, moving a lock of her ebony hair behind her ear.

    “Like what?” the goateed actor murmured, his baritone voice caressing her body in odd ways and causing a slight rush of arousal to jolt through her.

    Clearing her throat slightly, the now flustered Raven turned her gaze away from Johnny to focus on the carpet beneath her platform boots.  “About how happy I am for Amanda and Ginger mostly.  Wonder where Manson is of course.  Hoping he’ll come back,” she replied, her voice tapering off to a whisper as she leaned forward to clasp her hands between her knees.  The couch dipped beside her as Johnny sat beside her, wrapped an arm around her and held her close.

    “Of course he’ll come back.  He loves you more than I’ve ever seen him love anyone.  He’s actually starting to even let you in!  A lot more than he’s ever done in his past relationships,” the actor sighed, his mustache tickling the cup of her ear as he gently moved her to his lap.

    A light blush coloring her pale cheeks, Raven looked up at the star with an apprehensive glance as her hands came up to rest on his well muscled chest.  His scent hit her nose in a wave as she leaned away, causing a pulse of arousal to go through her very core.  Shuddering slightly, the flustered woman could only manage to shake her head as Johnny looked down at her with concern and even love.  “Johnny, I can’t...  Manson wouldn’t like this,” she squeaked out, her heart beating in her throat as the actor’s arms tightened around her slightly.

    Meeting her gaze steadily, the star only let out a slow sigh as he leaned his forehead against hers.  “I know Raven, I know.  It’s okay.  All I want to do is offer comfort, please allow this much,” he rasped out, his voice throaty from emotion and holding a slightly desperate edge.  His nearly black eyes swirled with several emotions, making Raven’s head spin slightly as she tried to piece them together.  After a few moments, she finally leaned into his black t-shirt covered chest and allowed him to cradle her in his arms.

    All of a sudden all the stress from the past few days finally broke free and the now shaking woman broke into harsh sobs.  Johnny only made noises of comfort, gently rocking her back and forth in an effort to soothe her.  Raven only let out a shuddery breath burrowing her hot face into the star’s shirt.  Neither of them noticed Raven phone beginning to ring or the ringtone coming from the object.

    Ginger and Amanda walked up to the oddly silent house, her arm entwined in his loosely as they both stopped to stare at the house suspiciously.  “If Pogo has fucking destroyed the whole place again,” the curly haired femme hissed, her green eyes spitting venomous anger as she reached forward to open the door.  To both their surprise, the house was intact as well as completely empty.

    “Where the hell did everyone go?” Amanda whispered, going immediately on the defensive; as if expecting Pogo to jump out from behind any corner.  Ginger only looked around suspiciously for a few moments before relaxing.

    “It seems Johnny and Raven have set it up so we have the place to ourselves,” the drummer whispered, his voice oddly husky as he avoided looking at the female beside him.  The thin female only blushed deeply in response, fiddling with the hem of her shirt as she avoided looking at the band member.  Ginger only smiled down at her kindly before moving into the kitchen.

    “I’m going to make some hot cocoa, do you want some?” he called from the small room, snapping the flustered woman out of her daze.

    “Oh, uh sure,” she replied in a wispy voice as she walked slowly into the kitchen.  Mystery, who had decided to join them in the kitchen, looked up at Ginger and let out a loud, grouchy sounding meow; making the pair jump out of their skins.  Chuckling softly, the drummer bent to pick the overweight cat up in one arm so he could pet her while he prepared the beverages.

    Amanda watched the scene with a smile on her face, sitting at the table to watch the musician.  Ginger moved deftly, pouring water and cocoa powder into two mugs one handed while he held Mystery in the other.  Once that was finished, the blonde put the two mugs in the microwave and set the time to six minutes.  Then he turned, smiling down at the purring feline cradled in his arms as he took a seat beside the curly haired female.  “She seems to like you,” Amanda whispered, reaching to scratch the lazy cat’s ears.

    “I hope she’s not the only one,” the drummer replied in a quiet voice, his brown eyes holding an odd sincerity as they locked with hers.  It was all she could do not to choke as her face flushed from the hidden admission in his voice.

    “G-ginger...,” she gasped out in a far too shaky voice, her heart beating in her throat as he reached forward to take her hands in his.

    “Amanda, since the day I met you I’ve been drawn to you.  There’s just something about you that makes me want to spend every moment I can in your presence.  I... I know that this probably won’t work because Manson is about as stable as his male namesake and we don’t know if he and Raven will stay together but I’d still like to try,” he confessed, his eyes never wavering as his worried voice washed over her.

    Closing her eyes, the shaking woman took a deep breath in an effort to slow her racing heart.  Could she do this?  Was what she feeling for Ginger really love?  She had never really even had a boyfriend before and found herself completely lost in an ocean of confusing feelings.  Opening her eyes, Amanda found Ginger looking at her with fear and anticipation.  It almost looked as if she held his very heart in her tiny hands.  Biting her lower lip as her heart beat in her ears, the blushing woman could only nod slightly.

    Almost immediately she was swept into a pair of arms as Ginger kissed the crown of her head.  “Thank you.  Thank you,” he sighed, relief clear in his unsteady voice as he held her tight against his lithe body.  Amanda only smiled slightly as she pulled back to look in his eyes.  The drummer stared down at her with eyes that were brimming with a myriad of emotions as he reached down to tenderly cup her cheek.

    “I think I love you,” he sighed softly, kissing the tip of her nose as the microwave dinged and popped the moment like a soap bubble.

    Still cradled in Johnny’s lap, Raven nuzzled under his chin and sighed as the last of her tears left her overwrought body.  First it was her father and then it was Tony, she was almost afraid of what would happen next.  Wiping the dampness from her cheeks, the sniffling female sat up to look at the actor with an abashed gaze.  “Sorry ‘bout your shirt,” she murmured, looking down at the sizeable wet patch she had left behind.

    “Don’t worry about it Raven,” Johnny rumbled, his voice gruff and throaty as he leaned down to give her a platonic kiss on the tip of her nose.  The action caused the now flustered woman to let out a breathless squeak as she fairly vaulted out of his lap.  Her hazel eyes were wide and full of both apprehension and her own, helpless response to the small token of affection.  As soon as his lips had met her nose, her entire body had flared with arousal; causing a fair amount of distress.

    Johnny only looked up at her, sadness and concern swirling in his brown orbs as he got to his feet.  As the star moved, Raven tensed and stepped back; her hands clenched in her shirt over her thudding heart.  “Raven... don’t look at me like that.  I promise you I only want to offer you comfort.  I have nothing else in mind,” he whispered, his voice gaining a slightly shaky quality as he gazed at the shaken woman.  Just as she was about to open her mouth to reply, she was interrupted by Jerome.

    “Mr. Depp, Mr. Manson is here to see Ms. Raven,” came the bodyguard’s deep voice from the other side of the still closed door.

    Immediately apprehension and rage filled the room, Raven being the scared one while Johnny curled his hands into tight fists.  A muscle ticking in his tan cheek, the actor turned to face the door.  “He’s done more than enough to her for one day,” he bit out, venom clear in his anger filled voice.  Raven flinched behind him but didn’t protest.  While she desperately wanted to see Manson, she still felt a bit afraid of him.  What he had almost done to her reminded her too much of a very painful past.

    “Let me the fuck in!” came a vicious snarl from the other side of the door, making the already frightened female flinch more.  He sounded very drunk and very pissed off, a bad combo even under the best of circumstances.  If she didn’t let him in, it was likely to only get worse.

    “Johnny, just let him in,” she sighed, pressing up close behind the star as she hid slightly behind him.  The actor only looked back at her assessingly before giving a curt nod.

    “Fine but with how he sounds, I’m not about to let him anywhere near you,” he hissed, a protective edge to his voice as he turned his gaze back to the closed portal.

    “Ms. Raven would like to see him Jerome, though heaven knows why,” Johnny bit out, his goateed lips pursed in a thin line.

    As soon as the door opened, the rock star shoved his way in; his bloodshot eyes searching the dim room for Raven and only seeing Johnny.  “Where ish she,” he slurred, swaying drunkenly as he stumbled forward.  The actor only crinkled his face in disgust in response, swinging his right arm back to hold Raven behind him protectively.

    “I’m here,” she whispered in a small voice, peeking around Johnny’s black clad back to look at the singer.  Manson’s bloodshot, mismatched eyes immediately flew to her, a gruff snarl leaving his lipstick smeared face.  It almost looked as if he had rubbed his face all over something or more likely someone.  Hurt filled Raven at the realization and her heart dropped to the soles of her boots.  He had done it again, he had gone to a prostitute for his pleasure and yet all she could feel was a deep sadness and dim heartbreak.

    “Why,” he hissed out, leaning forward so far it was a miracle he hadn’t simply fallen on his face.  Through her pain, Raven could only blink in confusion.

    “I could ask the same thing but I doubt the questions are the same,” she sighed, fisting her shaking hands in the back of Johnny’s t-shirt.

    “Why won’t you let me touch you?  Let me love you?” the performer husked out blearily, the stink of booze coming off him in waves as he stumbled closer to the pair.

    His pain filled words caused a lance of guilt to spear through Raven’s heart, making her gasp shakily.  This wasn’t fair, to either of them.  Could they really keep going on like this?  Would they even be able to separate at this point.  Her heart an aching sore in her chest, the shaken female could only bite her lip as tears began to run down her cheeks.  Before she could respond, Johnny held up a hand for silence.  “Brian, you’re drunk and Raven is emotionally distraught.  Neither of you are in any position to be having this conversation right now,” the movie star bit out in an authoritative voice, the look in his eyes holding no room for argument.

    Manson only glared blearily back before his gaze went unsteadily back to the now crying Raven.  A look of regret and concern replaced the rage from before and the singer slumped in place.  “You’re in no state to go anywhere.  Use one of the guest rooms.  Raven will be staying in my room for the night,” Johnny bit out, his brown eyes steely and cold as he glared down at the abashed super star.  Manson only nodded in response, stumbling off in the direction of the rooms.

    Once he was gone, Johnny was turning around and wrapping the shaking Raven into a tight hug.  As soon as their bodies made contact, the dam broke as she broke into ragged, heartbroken sobs.  “This isn’t fair, to me or him.  Look what I’m doing to him!  How can I hang onto him when I might never be able to have sex with him?” she gasped out, burrowing her face in the rough material of the actor’s shirt.  Johnny only made a noise of comfort as his hand came to rest on the back of her head.

    “Raven, this isn’t your fault.  It has never been your fault,” he murmured, his baritone voice wrapping around her like a warm blanket.  Yet she found herself seriously thinking about the future.  Would it do more harm to keep him or to break up with him?  The troubling question whirling in her mind, Raven only nestled deeper into the movie star’s chest as she continued to sob.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay with this. I took a break from this with an update to a couple other fanfics to maybe come back with a fresh mind. Then I ended up getting really, really sick. Will try to update more regularly.


	27. Slipping

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: ‘From this night forth, we shall be as one. For that is mine, will be yours. Kneel before your master!’ - Radu (Subspecies)

Manson awoke in a strange room with a throbbing headache.  Groaning gruffly as he sat up and cradled his head in his hands, the singer’s memories gradually came back to him.  He had stormed off into the city to find a hooker to vent his emotional as well as sexual frustration on and had brought her back to his hotel for the night.  The rest was a blur of sex and alcohol and ending with her bound to the bed beneath her as he called her Raven’s name.  Then he had awoken alone, immediately trying to call the absent Raven in a mixture of confusion and outright panic.  Finally he had ended up at Johnny’s suite and had blurted some unpleasant things while in a drunken state.

Letting loose a shaky sigh at the unwelcome memories, the rock star slowly got to his feet and painfully got dressed.  His head throbbed like a rotten tooth as he moved, making him feel nauseous and irritated but mostly he just felt sick in his heart.  Whatever was happening to him was just getting worse and right now he wanted be as far away from Raven as he could possibly get.  He had no clue just what he would do or say in his current state, Dita sitting in the back of his mind like a malevolent viper.

Once the singer had gotten dressed, he cautiously opened the door and peeked his head out before heading into the main room of the suite.  He got no more than a few steps before he heard the sound of a throat being cleared nervously.  Freezing in place, Manson turned to face the couch only to tense up when he saw Raven staring at him over the back of the couch.  “Raven,” he gasped out, sounding as if he had just gotten socked in the gut.

“Mare, I... I wanted to apologize to you,” she whispered in response, dark, bruise-like circles surrounding her haunted looking hazel eyes.  It looked like she hadn’t slept a wink all night.

“Wh-what could you possibly have to apologize for?  I was the one who came in here drunk and proceeded to berate you for something that isn’t your fault,” Manson replied, sounding both shocked and slightly exasperated.  The timid female only hung her head in response, her ebony hair hiding her expression.

“For not being able to... to give you what you so obviously need from me.  For what I seem to be doing to your sanity because of my inability to move past my problems,” Raven replied quietly, avoiding his gaze as her breath hitched in her throat.  In a flash Manson was there, holding her as tight as he could with the couch in the way.

“Manson, wha?” she gasped out, confusion in her tear choked voice as she tried to pull back enough to look him in the eyes.

“Shut up,” the performer hissed gruffly, his arms tightening on her a little as he began to tremble slightly.

“You have nothing to apologize for.  Absolutely nothing, you understand me?  This is my own fault, not yours.  I’ve been allowing Dita to get in my head lately and I haven’t been treating you right because of that.  I’m the one who should apologize,” he growled out before Raven could utter a word, his voice thick with his own tears.

“But...,” the now sobbing woman tried to protest weakly, only to earn another slight tightening of his arms around her.

“No.  No Raven,” he hissed, his voice shaking as he pulled back to claim her lips with his.

Raven could only stare up at him in astonishment, jumping slightly when two drops of slightly warm moisture hit her cheeks.  Realizing it was Manson’s tears hitting her skin, the female let out a soft gasp and wrapped her arms around his pale neck.  This action seemed to galvanize the singer because she felt his grip on her tighten even more and his tongue lap insistently on her lips.  Moving her hands to rest behind his head and entwining her finger in his ebony hair, Raven closed her eyes and opened to him.

Manson responded immediately, his tongue entering her mouth surprisingly gently and his own hands coming up to cradle Raven’s head in return.  His heart swelled with guilt, love, protectiveness and he made sure Raven felt that in his kiss.  He was gratified when she groaned softly, her tears from before quickly disappearing; much to the singer’s relief.  Sighing softly, the rock star broke the kiss to look in his girlfriend’s eyes.  “I’m so sorry Raven, for everything,” Manson rumbled softly, reaching up to cup the female’s soft cheek.

“You deserve so much more than I can give you but I just don’t have the courage to do the right thing,” he continued quietly, tears beginning to trail down his make-up free cheeks.

“What do you mean ‘the right thing’?” the now shaking woman asked in a quavering voice, looking up at the rock god with frightened eyes.  Her heart thudded in her chest at the implications of his words.  Sure she had been thinking about letting him go last night but now just the thought of it filled her with fear.

“Breaking up with you so I can’t cause you any more pain.  I know I should, I know it’s the best thing I can do for you but I just can’t.  I can’t bear the thought of not waking up with you to greet me, of not being able to hold you in my arms or kiss your sweet lips,” Manson hissed in an unsteady voice, tears flowing freely as he rested his forehead against hers.

“All I can do is bring you pain Raven but, heaven help me, I love you too much to leave you,” he finished with a snarl, enveloping her in a tight embrace and taking her lips in a passion filled, possessive kiss.  A kiss that almost felt as if he was afraid she would simply evaporate out of his arms.

All Raven could do was cry silently in relief, tightening the grip she still had on the back of his head to keep his mouth against hers.  She returned the aggressiveness of his kiss with her own, her tongue fighting with his for dominance as she growled into his mouth.  She let her fear, love and desperation pour through their kiss, drawing a soft growl from Manson as he moved his hands to rest on her back.  They only broke their embrace when a clearing throat snapped the quiet like a spider thread.  “I see you two have made up but before you run off, I’d like a word with you Brian,” came a deep, angry male voice from the hallway behind Raven.

Turning slightly to look at the speaker, the black haired woman’s eyes widened slightly to see Johnny glaring at Manson with rage in his dark brown eyes.  She was about to ask the actor what was going on when she felt the singer’s arms loosen around her.  “Alright Johnny.  I’ll be back in a bit Raven.  Try to have some breakfast while I’m gone,” Manson murmured softly, releasing her slowly and walking around her to follow the star back towards the bedrooms.  Sighing softly, the female only rolled her hazel eyes and went into the kitchen to make herself some food.  She had a suspicion about just what Johnny was going to talk to the super star about and she just wanted to take her mind off it.

As soon as the Antichrist Superstar was in the room, Johnny closed the door and glared heatedly.  “Just what the fuck is going on with you Brian!  I know you’ve had issues in past relationships but I’ve never seen you act like this!  Do you realize just how much your behavior is hurting Raven?  Let alone what trust she has in you?  You say you want her to sleep with you, well this isn’t the way to go about it!” the movie star snarled, gesturing violently with his arms as his brown eyes almost turned black from his anger.

“You think I’m blind to all of that!  Fuck, Johnny!  Seeing Dita at that concert, it fucked me up worse than I could have imagined.  She’s in my head, whispering all kinds of little lies about Raven or reminding me about my past relationship failures.  I can’t stop it!  No matter how hard I try, I can’t fucking stop it!” Manson hissed, running a shaky, black nailed hand through his shoulder length hair.  His mismatched eyes shone with self loathing, desperation and a stark fear that took the actor’s breath away.

“Brian, you need to try to let that go.  You need to try to let what Dita was to you go.  That’s the only reason she still has any power over your thoughts,” Johnny whispered, his rage fading for concern as he placed a hand on the singer’s shaking shoulder.  He still felt anger for what his friend had recently put Raven through but seeing the rock star so shaken made him feel the urge to comfort.

“Easier said than done man.  Dita meant more to me than any of the others, with the exception of Melinda.  She was the only one who held my heart in her hands, who I had let in even a little.  For years my entire world was hinged on what she would want me to do but nothing I did was ever good enough.  She wanted me to change who I was, wanted me to stop partying; wanted me to be the perfect boyfriend,” the performer continued, sounding more and more haunted as he went on.  He had even begun to pace unconsciously, as if just talking about this caused him a great deal of pain.

“Surely you know that Raven isn’t like that!  And even if it is Dita’s voice, it’s really just your own reflecting your insecurities back at you.  You can’t keep letting your past rule you, neither of you!” Johnny replied a bit heatedly, moving in front of the pacing singer, grasping his black clad arms and giving him a shake.

“I know that!  But that doesn’t stop some of what that voice is saying from making sense!  It gets under my skin and festers there until the lie she, no, it planted becomes the only thing I can see,” the tortured male groaned, burying his face in his hands as his whole body began to shake.

“I can’t lose her but I can’t fucking block that voice out, no matter how hard I try!” he snarled, beginning to sob harshly from frustration and fear.

The first thing Ginger became aware of was a much smaller form curled up against his side.  The next thing he became aware of was a leering keyboardist’s face bare inches from his own.  “Morning Pogo,” the drummer groaned quietly, shifting slightly to get a look at his secondary companion.  To his surprise and embarrassment, he saw Amanda nestled up to him with an arm thrown across his stomach.

“Looks like you had a good night,” the mohawked keyboardist teased quietly, squatting over Ginger and leaning so close their noses touched.  His usual insane grin curled his red lips as his brown eyes sparkled with inner mirth.

“Ugh, good to see you too Madonna,” came a sleepy, grumpy female voice, startling both men and causing both to jolt in unison as they both turned their heads to look at the semi-conscious female.  Amanda’s green eyes met theirs steadily, a vaguely annoyed look on her pale face as she moved to sit up.

“For the record, nothing happened.  I just... got lonely without Raven in the house.  I even knocked on the door and you told me I could sleep in here, remember?” she grumbled in a groggy voice as she limply whacked Pogo’s black shirt covered chest.  Next to her, Ginger released a sigh of relief as her words made his memory come back.

He had been in a deep sleep when a timid knock came from his door.  “Mmf, who is it?” he murmured, sitting up and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

“A-amanda,” came a shy sounding, quiet female voice from the other side, just as he opened his mouth to yawn.  The sound of her voice made a dim jolt of concern go through his mostly asleep body, causing the drummer to get to his bare feet and moved like a zombie to his door.

Amanda fiddled with the hem of her Superman pajama shirt, her normally calm eyes wide and scared as she stared down the dark hallway to her right.  She wasn’t used to being alone and the sounds of the house were beginning to frighten her.  As the door began to swing open, the young woman began to feel ridiculous in her superhero themed pajamas but all that went away as soon as she saw Ginger looking down at her with only concern for her well being.  He didn’t even seem to notice her blue, symbol emblazoned attire, merely moving out of the way enough to allow her to enter.  “Mandy?  You okay?” the blonde asked in a sleepy voice, looking as if he was about to pass out on his feet.

“Y-yeah, just a bit freaked out by the house being so empty.  I’m used to having Raven around and, as much as I hate to admit it, having you guys around have made it even more like a home.  Having the place so quiet is sorta freaky,” she confessed shyly, avoiding his tired gaze and rubbing her pale arm nervously.

Instead of responding verbally, Ginger merely moved to his bed and motioned for her to sit beside him.  It was at that moment that Amanda realized that he was shirtless and wearing a pair of black pajama pants.  Her green eyes roved over his thin frame almost hungrily, her tongue coming out to briefly wet her lips as desire began to burn within her.  Shaking herself slightly, the curly haired female sat next to the ghostly pale drummer and nestled into his side with a sigh.

Smiling down at her lovingly, the pale musician laid down; pulling her with him and securing her against his side.  Then his hand began moving over the silky skin of her arm, causing her breath to hitch in her throat and a shudder to run through her body.  “You can sleep with me tonight,” he yawned, dozing off as soon as the words finished leaving his lips.  As light snores began to leave the sleeping male, Amanda watched him with a small smile.  After a few moments she dozed off herself, flinging an arm over Ginger’s torso and nuzzling his side.

A half sane titter broke Ginger’s reverie like a soap bubble and he sighed as Pogo hopped off the bed.  “See ya guys downstairs!  Twigs made some pancakes so you better hurry,” the keyboardist giggled, waving with his fingers as he danced out of the room.  Before Amanda could fully process what was said, her male companion was out of bed and pulling her to her feet.

“Come on!  You really don’t wanna miss out on Jeordie’s pancakes,” the drummer explained eagerly, dragging the bewildered female behind him.

They came into the kitchen to see something that almost made Amanda burst into laughter.  Jeordie stood before the stove, dressed in a pink dress reminiscent of a 50’s housewife’s dress and wearing a frilly white apron tied around his thin waist.  Even his dreadlocks were tied back in a ponytail and light make-up adorned his eyes and cheeks.  As soon as the ex-guitarist caught sight of the pair, a large grin broke over his dark skinned face.  “Mornin’ love birds!  Take a seat!  I just made a fresh batch since this bunch eats them as fast as I can make em,” Twiggy chuckled, motioning to two empty spots at the kitchen table.  

The other three band members sat at the table with empty plates and were staring at the fresh batch Jeordie was bringing to the table like a pack of ravenous hounds.  In a flash, Ginger was pulling her to the table and helping her into a seat before he sat down as well.  Smiling down at the pair kindly, the dress wearing male dished out a portion for each while giving the others a sharp glare.  “You leave those two alone while they eat!  You’ve had twenty pancakes each!” he bit out, waving his spatula at the nearly drooling three.

“Aw Twiggy, it’s not our fault that’s it’s been so long since we’ve had your pancakes!  You always make the best ones!” Pogo whined, giving the ex-band member his best puppy eyes.  The former musician only rolled his brown eyes in response before grinning very slightly at the other two men who were sitting on either side of the mohawked keyboardist.  They were also giving him rather large puppy dog eyes, Tim even quivering his lower lip a bit for emphasis.

“Alright, I’ll make you guys one more batch if you promise to leave those two alone.  No begging them for their pancakes,” Twiggy finally conceded, wielding his spatula like a sword; pointing the flat end at the trio before he turned and went back to the stove.

Amanda could only look at the group of men with a mixture of confusion and bewilderment.  What on Earth about these pancakes made the other three look at her and Ginger with so much envy?  Watching the group of three who were eyeing her with overt jealousy, the curly haired female cut into the pile of three pancakes and took a bite.  The instant the fluffy substance touched her tongue, her eyes went wide as it seemed her mouth had been filled with a rainbow and an angel chorus began to sing in her mind.  Jeordie had filled the pancakes with chocolate chips and a bit of cinnamon!  Making a noise of happiness, Amanda tore into her stack like a ravenous animal while the three across from them watched with envy and Ginger chuckled at her.

The drummer smiled down at the female beside him, amusement sparkling in his brown eyes.  “I told you they were good,” he chuckled before he began to eat his own stack of pancakes.  While they were eating, Twiggy was busy making pancakes and whistling to himself.  A smile quirked his lips as he stirred the batter and poured some into a pan.  As much as he and the others teased Ginger, they were genuinely glad to see him so content.  If Manson could just get his shit together, everything would be ideal.  Sighing to himself, the ex-musician merely flipped over the pancake.  Unfortunately the chances of things turning into shit were much better than a peaceful resolution.

It was after the last batch of pancakes had been finished and Jeordie had sat down with the others to eat that a knock came from the front door.  Amanda, who had finished her pancakes and was sipping her coffee, tilted her head in confusion as she got to her feet.  “That’s odd.  We aren’t expecting any company,” she murmured to herself as she moved toward the door.  Ginger, who was finishing his last bites, was on his feet and following her; a concerned look on his face.  With what had happened to Raven, the drummer found himself ill at ease about any unexpected callers at the door.

As Amanda got closer to the closed portal, she found herself grateful that Ginger was behind her.  It could be a package she had forgotten about but the events of yesterday made her cautious.  Before she opened the door she glanced over her shoulder to make sure the drummer was right behind her.  The bleach blonde, who had been staring at the door with apprehension, gave the curly haired female a nod as he stepped up right behind her to give her support.  Smiling at the musician and taking in a deep breath, the nervous female slowly opened the door; letting out a breathless gasp at who she saw there.  “M-miah?!” she uttered in a shocked voice, fear filling her eyes as she took in the visitor before her.

Raven stared at the black jeans clothing her legs, her pale hands clenched into shaking fists on her thighs as her heart thudded in her chest.  The two of them had been back there for a very long time, making her nervous about what they could be talking about.  Could Johnny be trying to talk Manson into leaving her for her own good?  As soon as the thought crossed her mind she wanted to slap herself for even thinking it.  The actor was her friend and as much as he was worried about how Manson had been treating her, she knew he would never try to drive a wedge between them on purpose.

Letting loose a shaky sigh, the pale female leaned her head back on the back of the couch; closing her eyes as she tried to force herself to relax.  Despite what she had been pondering earlier, the thought of the singer leaving her made her heart ache in her chest as if clamped in a tight vise.  Even though they had only known each other a month and had only spent a little of that time actually together, Manson was now as much a part of her as her own arms.  Shaking her head and letting loose another sigh, she found herself wondering how well she would handle it if Manson  did leave.

A pair of hands on her shoulders as well as a brief brush of lips on her temple interrupted her distressed thoughts and Raven turned to see Manson staring down at her with guilt, concern and a deep love.  “I’m sorry for putting you through all this Raven.  I promise I’ll try to be better,” he murmured in a gruff, throaty voice as his mismatched eyes met hers steadily.  Raven only smiled softly in return, covering one of his hands with her own.

“You had better be because if you break this woman’s heart I will make it my personal mission to make your life Hell,” came a half-heartedly angry sounding male voice from the hall.  Raven whipped her head to the left to see Johnny standing there, an exhausted look on his goateed face and a faint look of fear in his nearly black eyes.

Before Raven could even begin to respond, Manson was gently pulling her head back to face him; his heterochromic eyes burning into hers as he planted a brief, loving kiss on her lips.  “Let’s go home Raven, I can’t stand to spend another night away from you right now,” he murmured in a half pleading voice as he cupped her face and brushed her cheek with a calloused thumb.  The flustered woman could only blush in response before she gave a quick nod.  Despite how oddly the rock star had been acting, Raven’s heart fluttered at the implications of what he was saying.  She had a feeling that Manson wanted to ‘make it up to her’ about the prostitute and the thought made her blush deeply.

As if reading her mind, the super star smirked down at her before pulling away to allow her to get off the couch.  A bit breathless from how Manson was now looking at her, the flustered woman looked towards Johnny with a shy, unsure smile.  “Thanks for allowing me to spend the night here Johnny,” she whispered, moving around the couch to give the movie star a tight hug.  The actor looked up at Manson for permission, waiting for a small nod from the performer before wrapping his arms around the young woman and giving her a loose hug in return.

“Any time Raven and I mean that.  Any time you need me, no matter what time of night it is, I want you to call me,” he replied, pulling away to look in her eyes.

“Promise me that,” he whispered, his voice a bit gruff from emotion as his hands began to shake on her arms.  Worry and love shone in his brown eyes as he breathlessly awaited her answer, looking as if his very world hinged on the next words out of her mouth.

“I promise,” she finally replied, wonder tinging her voice as she rested her cheek against Johnny’s clothed chest.  She allowed her eyes to slip shut as she inhaled his scent, allowing his gentle arms and beating heart lull her into a sense of calmness.  Yet guilt ate at her heart like acid.  The handsome actor loved her, truly and honestly loved her.  He would probably give up anything he had just to make her happy and the knowledge of that made her miserable.

“Oh Johnny, I’m so sorry,” she sobbed out running from his arms and out of the suite, as if running from a rabid animal.

Johnny stood there for a few moments, his arms still in the position they had been when he had been hugging Raven.  Letting out a shaky, sad sigh, the star looked up at Manson with haunted look.  A look that took the singer’s breath away due to the sheer amount of sorrow and protectiveness in the dark orbs.  “Brian, you listen to me like you’ve never listened before because I’m only going to say this once.  That woman out there means a lot to me, a lot more than I have any right to feel about her.  I swear to you, on whatever you hold sacred, if you  ever hit Raven; I will fucking kill you,” he snarled heatedly, his brown eyes turning black from rage as he stalked closer to Manson while he spoke.  By the time the sentence was finished, their noses were touching and the super star could feel the movie star’s hot breath on his face.

“You won’t have to worry about killing me if that happens.  If I ever lay a hand on her, I’m pretty sure I’ll kill myself if my band doesn’t do it for me,” the rock god finally replied, a hard, serious edge to his voice as he met his friend’s gaze steadily.  He had meant every word.  If Twiggy hadn’t stopped him from hitting Raven yesterday he would have killed himself in his hotel once he had gotten into the room.  He simply wouldn’t have been able to live with the guilt of the fact that he had caused her physical harm.

Ginger could only look in confusion from Amanda to the man standing in front of her.  The male came up to his shoulder and was just a hair taller than the curly haired female.  He was dressed in a long, black trench coat and a black army cap rested on his chin length black hair.  A goatee beard surrounded his pursed lips as his brown eyes glittered at them both angrily.  “Hey Mandy, long time no see,” he bit out, rage tinging his gruff voice as his hate filled eyes moved slowly to the drummer who stood behind the slowly angering female.

“Just what the fuck do you think you’re doing here!  Haven’t you done enough to Raven already?  Why can’t you and that sick boyfriend of yours just leave her the fuck alone,” spat out Amanda, her fear leaving for indignant rage as her hands curled into tight fists and began to shake.  Just yesterday Tony had been here and she still didn’t want to think about what the scumbag might have done to Raven before Manson had gotten there.

“How could I forget?  The little slut is the reason Tony’s in jail.  Speaking of the bitch, where the fuck is she and who the fuck is that behind you,” the male snarled, his dark eyes staying focused on Ginger.  The musician met his gaze steadily, slowly moving to stand beside Amanda.

“The reason why, Tony was it, is in jail is because he assaulted and attempted to rape Raven.  If you have a problem with justice being delivered righteously then I suggest you just leave.  In fact I would suggest you leave anyway,” the bleach blonde hissed, his eyes narrowing as his hand curled into tight fists.  Behind him the other members of the band began to gather one by one, each wearing identical looks of rage on their painted faces.

Chuckling gruffly in response, Miah opened his arms and looked at five men with a look of challenge.  “You can try to make me but I can promise you it won’t be easy,” the trenchcoat wearing man chuckled, waving his fingers in invitation with a cocky grin on his goateed lips.  the five band members surged forwards as one, reaching the now laughing man within seconds.

Despite how happy she was to be beside Manson, Raven felt a tinge of fear that made her feel both sad and guilty.  Her body fairly burned from his closeness but her heart beat wildly in her throat as panic began to blossom within her.  How close the singer had come to hitting her had shaken her badly and as much as she wanted to move on, she couldn’t get the image of him cocking back his fist out of her mind.  Heaving a shaky sigh, Raven gazed miserably out of the window as her mind wandered unwanted avenues.

Beside her, Manson shifted slightly as he briefly allowed his gaze to drift over to the woman beside him.  In the silence of the car, the singer found himself replaying the events of yesterday in his head over and over.  The scene of him raising his fist played in slow motion and seemed to be in an endless loop, drawing a sigh from the guilt ridden singer.  As much as he wanted to erase what he had done the night before, he knew it would take more time.  As much as he longed to be with Raven right now, Manson knew he was poison to be around right now.  She needed time to heal, time to forgive and he needed time to come to terms with his left over feelings for Dita as well as his own insecurities.

The silence hung between the pair like a lead weight, bringing the mood down and making it somber.  It almost felt as if an end was coming and the fact frightened both of them.  “Raven, I...,” the singer began.

“Marilyn, I...,” Raven sighed out at the same time, causing them to turn to each other and stare.  Then all the tension exploded into hysterical laughter, the overwrought pair simply laughing to relieve the built up stress that lingered in the air.

After a few moments the hysteria tapered into relieved giggles, both wiping tears from their eyes as they fought to catch their breath.  All wasn’t okay between them but it was a bit better.  “You go first,” the pale woman offered, smiling kindly as her mirth died to occasional chuckles.  The rock star smiled in return, his grin wavering slightly as he returned his focus to the road before him.

“As much as I would love to be around tonight, I just don’t think it’s a good idea,” he sighed, his joy of earlier replaced with stark reluctance and trepidation.

“I... I agree.  As much as I long for you to come back, I need some time away from you.  What you almost did...,” she whispered, trailing off and looking out the window as she found herself unable to finish the sentence.  In doing so she missed Manson wince as if her words had socked him in the stomach.

“I’ll... drop you off,” he murmured in response, unable to look in her direction at all due to the overwhelming guilt he felt.  It almost felt as if the feeling itself was trying to strangle his heart and it made it difficult for him to even breathe.

“Thank you Mare.  C-can I call you?” came a timid, hopeful response, making him dare to believe she could forgive him for nearly punching her.  That warm feeling caused his heart to ache slightly in his chest and Dita to laugh cruelly in the back of his head.   ‘You’re only kidding yourself Brian!  Any sane woman would have left you long ago?  Why has she stayed so long?’ hissed the facsimile of her voice, causing him to grit his teeth and tighten his grip on the steering wheel.

‘Shut up!  She hasn’t asked for one thing from me!  She hasn’t even tried to organize any interviews with the paparazzi!  She keeps fighting to stay with me no matter how badly I’ve treated her!  I even almost hit her and she still wants to have contact with me!’ he spat at the phantom in his mind, taking a deep breath to calm himself before responding to his worried girlfriend.

“Yes, please!  Call me whenever you want!  It’ll keep me from going crazy without you,” he finally replied in a gruff voice, allowing his stage persona to become slightly dominant in an effort to keep Dita from getting under his skin.

Noticing the change in his voice, Raven looked up at him with a slightly worried gaze before she timidly reached forward and placed one of her hands over his.  “What’s wrong Mare?” she asked cautiously, her entire body ready to leap away at any moment.  A fact that she hated with every fiber of her being.  Whatever was causing the singer’s odd behavior had to do with Dita showing up at that concert.

Manson sighed heavily at the feeling of her small hand resting over his, a hesitant smile appearing on his naked lips.  “My head’s a little fucked up right now Raven.  I’m just... thinking a little too much lately,” he rasped out, avoiding the subject of the harpy perched in the back of his mind.  He was afraid that if he mentioned her, she would come screaming forward and cause him to say something he’d regret.  To his relief, Raven smiled in understanding before releasing his hand.

As the sleek, red car pulled into the short driveway, Manson and Raven became aware of five men in an altercation with a single figure dressed in black.  As they came to a stop, they both came to the realization that the five men were Jeordie and the four members of Marilyn Manson.  Squinting her eyes, Raven tried to make out who the sixth person was as she got out of the car.  Then, all of a sudden, the pale woman fell to her knees as a look of abject terror came over her face.

Manson was there in a second, looking down at her with concern as he knelt by her side.  “Raven, wha?” the super star began before the shaking female let out a loud cry of fear and despair.  The loud noise caused all fighting to stop and the single assailant to look at the pair by the car.

“M-miah, i-it’s fucking Miah,” she gasped out breathlessly, scrambling away from the far away figure subconsciously along the concrete until her back hit the metal of the car.  As soon as the name left her lips, Manson stood to his full height as recognition and understanding slowly came into his heterochromic eyes.  This man was one of Raven’s abusive exes and he had the gall to show up here.  Curling his hands into tight fists, the Antichrist Superstar stalked towards the aggressor.

It happened in a blur of action.  All of a sudden the two men were rolling along the ground, lobbing punches at eachother while the other five men watched.  While that was going on, Amanda was running out of the house and toward a fear frozen Raven, helping the shaking woman to her feet.  “It’s okay Megs, it’s okay.  Let’s get you inside and call the cops,” the curly haired female soothed, attempting to steer the ramrod stiff woman towards the house to no avail.  Raven stood as if glued to the spot, her hazel eyes fixed on the grappling males.

In the chaos, Jeordie and Ginger looked up to see where Raven was; both running toward her when they saw the state she was in.  Tim and John, who had been standing close to the two of them, turned to see what they were heading towards in such a hurry.  When they saw the look on Raven’s face, Tim gave Pogo a nudge in the ribs before running toward her with the other two.  John stayed behind, looking from Manson to Raven as if unsure of where he wanted to be.  Pogo, jolting from the sharp elbow in the ribs, rolled his eyes irritably as he turned to see what had needed his attention so badly.  As soon as he caught a glimpse of the frozen woman everyone was surrounding he drew in a sharp gasp.  The keyboardist seemed to shudder in place for a moment before he came to a decision.

Manson continued to grapple with the black clad male, snarling as the combatant laughed in his face.  “Go ahead, hit me!  I fucking dare you!” Miah challenged, dark amusement glittering in his eyes as the rock star flipped him onto his back and pinned him to the grass.

“Manson, let me take over from here,” came a familiar male voice from behind the singer as a gentle hand came to rest on his shoulder.  The performer growled in response, turning to see Pogo glaring down at the pinned male.

“Come on man, Raven really needs you right now.  Just look at her,” the keyboardist reasoned, his stony gaze slowly traveling to his band mate as his eyes narrowed.  His words had the desired effect, making Manson pause for a moment and look towards where he had left Raven.

The black clad female was watching them with wide, haunted eyes, unable to move despite the large group of people trying to gently lead her into the house.  Her black hair hung in her pale face, making her drawn face look even more pale and frightened.  It was as if the sight of the man on the ground had broken her in a way.  In a flash Manson was moving towards her, quickly replaced by Pogo; who gleefully sat on Miah’s chest and smirked down at him.  “Hiya big boy,” the keyboardist cooed in an insane facsimile of flirtatiousness.

Raven was trapped in a personal hell within her mind, unable to stop the memories of her relationship with both Tony and Miah.  Images of the many times Tony beat her, memories of Miah telling her she was ugly or useless.  Images and vague voices filled her head as tears flowed helplessly down her cheeks, her heart thudding in her ears as her vision began to grey around the edges.  Then, as if through thick jello shot through with static, the shaking woman became aware of a male voice calling her name and a pair of hands grasping her upper arms.  Forcing herself to focus on the world around her, Raven could make out a blurred face in front of her.

As the face swam into focus, the violently shaking woman let out a gasping sob as she launched herself into Manson’s arms.  Wordless, traumatized cries left her mouth, sounding as if they were coming from the depths of her soul.  It took everything Manson had within him to wrap his arms around the distraught female and not go back to beat Miah senseless.  “Manson, get her inside,” Twiggy whispered, glaring heatedly at the man Pogo was sitting on.  John, who had stayed behind with the keyboardist, was glancing at the ex-musician with concern clear on his face.

“Keep an eye on him John-o!  Seeing this bastard has affected Raven rather badly and we’re going to get her inside,” Jeordie yelled, answering the guitarist’s unspoken question before he turned to help Manson and the others gently pull the sobbing woman into the house.

The singer only had eyes for Raven, holding the shaking woman close as he pulled/helped her into the house.  Once she was inside, the performer led the distraught female to the kitchen and helped her into a seat before sitting down beside her.  During this maneuver Raven never let go of him once, continuing to sob like a frightened child into his black shirt.  Making soothing noises, the rock star wrapped one arm around her back and used the other hand to cradle the back of her head as he began to rock her gently.

While the singer was doing that, Jeordie was moving to the fridge to fetch her a Red Pop.  It was the only soda in the fridge and Raven had reacted well to it last time.  Moving quickly, he set the bottle on the table and gave Manson a pointed look.  The super star only nodded in response, nudging the still sobbing female’s forehead with his chin as she practically sat in his lap.

While that was going on, Ginger and Tim had followed Amanda to the living room and watched her as she picked up the phone to call the police.  While the line rang, the enraged, worried female began to pace back and forth; moving a hand through her curly, brown hair nervously.  Unable to withstand seeing the female so distressed, the drummer was by her side within seconds and wrapping his arms around her tightly.  As soon as his arms made contact with her body, the over stressed female burst into tears and burrowed her face into his chest; the ringing phone still pressed to her ear.

Smiling down at the woman gently, the musician gently tugged the phone out of her loose grip and brought it to his ear.  Thankfully it was at that moment that someone on the other end picked up and said, “Police Department.”

“I’d like to report an intruder,” he answered in a calm voice, petting Amanda in a soothing manner as she slowly started to calm down.

By the time the police had arrived, Raven was calm enough to tell them what happened but still clung as tightly to Manson as she possibly could.  Shaky sobs still left her on occasion and she held a bottle of Red Pop in her right hand.  Even if she had wanted to stand on her own, Manson’s arms were too tight around her to allow for much movement.  At the moment it was only the rock star’s closeness that gave her the courage to tell the officer about her past with Miah and her suspicion about why he was there.  After she was finished explaining, the officer went back out front to help his partner wrangle the cuffed assailant into the car.  “Megs?  You okay?” came a timid female voice from the pair’s left as soon as the police had left.

Raven shuddered in Manson’s arms, nodding against the rock star’s chest but not letting go of him for a second.  The performer only sighed in relief, rubbing her back as he gently moved them back into the kitchen, sat down and pulled her into his lap.  “Twigs, take my phone and use the most recent address in the GPS to go to the hotel I was at last night and get my stuff.  I don’t think I’ll be going anywhere,” Manson requested, sliding a card key for a hotel room across the wooden table.

“The hell you aren’t!  Do you think I’d let you stay when it looked like you came very close to going down the same road Tony did?” Amanda snarled, coming into the kitchen and glaring distrustfully at the rock star.  Before Manson could even open his mouth to retort, a timid female voice interrupted him and made the room go silent.

“Mandy, please.  I can’t... I don’t... please don’t make me handle this alone,” Raven begged breathlessly, unable to lift her face from Manson’s chest to even look at her childhood friend.

“Shhh, I’m not going anywhere sweetheart,” the rock star cooed soothingly, keeping his focus fully on the distraught female.  Amanda could only watch, an apprehensive look on her pale face.

It was Ginger placing a hand on her shoulder and giving her a pleading look that finally made her give in.  “Fine but if you raise your voice to her or upset her in any way you’re out,” hissed the protective female, her rage turning to worry as her green eyes flicked to her shaking friend.  She had only seen the other female this distraught a handful of times and none of them had ended well.  All she could do was hope having Manson around wouldn’t do more harm than good.

Manson ignored the other woman’s warning, focussing on calming Raven down enough so she would stop shaking.  At least she had stopped sobbing but the full body shuddering was highly concerning.  Looking around the room, it dawned on the singer that being in a crowded room probably wasn’t helping the frightened woman calm down.  Even now John and Pogo were coming into the already full room, making it feel even more closed in and suffocating.  “I’m going to take her upstairs for a bit.  I think the quiet will help her calm down,” he declared seconds before he picked Raven up in his arms and moved toward the stairs.

Amanda made a move to stop them but was stopped by a hand on her shoulder.  Whipping around with an irritated look, the curly haired female was shocked to see it was Pogo stopping her and not Ginger.  “It’s okay Amanda, really,” murmured the keyboardist, his normal insane humor gone from his eyes.  The female only pursed her lips as she looked at the other band members and Jeordie, receiving the same serious look from all of them.  Sighing in defeat, the worried female turned to watch the rock star carry her still shaking friend up the stairs.

“You guys had better be right,” she hissed heatedly before she stormed into the living room.

Raven huddled into her boyfriend’s chest, her eyes shut as she allowed herself to inhale his scent.  The smell of him combined with the fact that he was carrying her upstairs made her feel safe, no small feat after the events of today and yesterday.  She didn’t even flinch when he opened a door, carried her into a room and shut it behind them.  Then she was being set down and her eyes flew open in a panic as she reached out for him.  To her relief she found he hadn’t moved, merely set her down on a bed and was simply sitting beside her.

Then she was in his lap, wrapped in his arms as he began to rock them slowly back and forth.  “I’m here, you’re safe.  I won’t let anyone hurt you, not even myself,” he whispered, peppering her clammy forehead with soothing kisses as he lovingly pet her hair.  Raven could only sigh in response, her small hands tightening in his black shirt as her shaking slowly started to abate.

“Mare,” she whispered, gratefulness heavy in her voice as she nuzzled into the rough material of his shirt.  The small action caused quite a conflicting clash of emotions within the rock star, stirring up protectiveness in his heart but a burning hatred and suspicion from the harpy in the back of his mind.   ‘I wonder why the lil slut is so hated by those two.  What do you think she’s done to earn them hunting her down to beat and rape her,’  hissed the fake Dita.

It took everything Manson had within him not to snarl outright at what the voice was implying.  None of this was Raven’s fault and she had done nothing to warrant the aggressive behavior of the two males who had paid her a visit.  The fact that the phantom Dita in his mind would imply as such made his blood boil and fear rise within him.  How much longer could he ignore what ‘Dita’ was saying?  How long could he control the anger his moments alone with the voice caused?  How long would it be before he actually harmed Raven because of his inability to control himself?  As he sat with Raven slowly falling asleep in his arms, the rock star found himself scared of the answers he would receive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah ha, it was harder than I thought to write this chapter. Hope you guys are still with me after this.


	28. Plunge Into Darkness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: ‘I want you to pray to your god. I want you to pray that he comes and saves you. I want lightning to come and crash down upon my fucking head!’ - Otis B. Driftwood (Devil’s Rejects)
> 
> ‘Para-noir’ and ‘Man That You Fear’ (c) Marilyn Manson

One step forward and two steps back, a harmless enough phrase.  A phrase that often doesn’t actually mean anything to most people.  A phrase that was gaining a whole new meaning for Raven lately.  In fact it was more like one step forward and ten steps back, to be entirely honest.  Things had gone smoothly enough for a few days after Miah had shown up and had been escorted off the property in cuffs.  She had spent the night in Manson’s room on his insistence and he had never treated her better.  Yet it was all too soon before the peace began to crumble slowly around them.

Soon reality caught up with them and Raven began to act distant.  It wasn’t that she wanted to but she had been through a lot the past few days, Manson almost punching her not helping her nervousness around the singer.  It started small, light startles whenever he touched her from behind, but grew to her flinching away whenever he touched her over even bent for a kiss.  This behavior certainly didn’t help Manson with his own issues.  Over the course of a few days of this, the performer was beginning to grow outright surly and was drinking even more.  It was as if he was trying to hide his pain in his anger and the alcohol.

None of this was lost on Raven, who felt like she was trapped behind a bulletproof glass barrier and being forced to watch her relationship fall apart slowly.  It was getting so bad that she was beginning to even dread getting out of bed.  Right now, she was laying on her back, holding Kathy to her chest and staring at her ceiling; listening to the brewing fight downstairs and trying to gather the courage to face her boyfriend.

“Manson!  Put the fucking booze down!” Jeordie screamed, his hands clasped into tight shaking fists as he stood bare inches from the performer and glared into his mismatched eyes.  The rock star only glared back, taking a swig straight from the absinthe bottle just to piss off the ex-band member.  Twiggy nearly leaped on his former lover right then, barely held back in time by Tim and Ginger.

“Let him go,” came a vicious bark, startling everyone and making all the band members and Jeordie turn to look at the source.  Shock was palpable in the room when they saw Pogo glaring at Tim and Ginger as if they were committing an unforgivable sin.

“But Pogo, if we let him go...,” the drummer began to reason, still keeping a tight hold on the no longer struggling former musician.

“Then he’ll fuckin’ beat Manson’s ass like he fuckin’ deserves,” the mohawked keyboardist bit out, his brown eyes narrowing as his gaze switched to fix on Manson.  The superstar rocked in place for a split second before sneering angrily at his bandmate.

“That won’t teach him anything and will ultimately accomplish nothing!” Ginger protested heatedly, glaring at Pogo with a mixture of anger and disbelief.

“He’s acting like a fucking jackass Ging!  Have you  seen the way he’s been treating Raven lately?  If he doesn’t pull his head out of his ass he’s gonna lose the best thing he’s ever fucking had,” the normally jolly and mischievous male nearly livid with outright rage.  His brown eyes were stony and unforgiving as he continued to glare at Manson who began to shift in place, a bit of the rage from earlier fading for a touch of fear.

“I’m right fuckin’ here Gacy!  Ya got something to say to me, then say it to my fuckin’ face,” the rock star snarled, slamming the bottle of absinthe down on the counter and spraying the overhanging cabinets with alcohol.  Pogo’s eyes flashed dangerously in response before a cold smile began to curl his lips.

At the sight of that smile, everyone in the room absolutely froze.  “Madonna, don’t,” John breathed, stepping forward and placing a restraining hand his friend’s arm.  The keyboardist whirled to face the guitarist, his grin growing wider and more crazy.  

“Do ya really wanna get in the middle of this Fiver?” Pogo sing songed sweetly, the humor in his voice cold and angry sounding.  Wisely, John simply let go and backed off; his brown eyes full of fear.

Then he turned to face Manson, that crazy grin still on his face as he began to stalk forward.  All signs of anger faded for outright fear as the normally intimidating male began to back away from the band member.  “Do you really think being ill tempered, drunk and an outright jerk is gonna make Raven regain her trust in you?  Do you think that she’ll stick around to be treated like shit when that’s all she’s had in her past relationships?” he growled, gradually getting louder and more heated the further he prowled forward.  Manson only kept backing up, only stopping when his back hit the counter and he could go no further.

“How do you think you’re going to act when she’s gone?  Did you ever stop to think how this could literally break her, let alone you?!  Do you think  we want to be treated like shit because you couldn’t nut up and stop being a jerk off!” the musician continued, stopping bare inches from his body meeting the singer’s and slamming his hands down on the counter on either side on him so he was effectively trapped between the blonde’s arms.

“Since when do you care how I treat my girlfriends?” Manson murmured, meaning to sound vitriolic but only coming across as lost and scared.

Snarling in frustration, Pogo began slamming his open hands down on the counter to emphasize his words.  “We never cared about the others because you only seemed serious about a handful of them!  Do you think we’re immune to their tears or your pain when they deceive you?  For fuck’s sake!” he screamed out, his nose touching the performer’s as he glared into the other man’s eyes.

“Brian, whether you believe me or not, we care about ya man.  We’ve never seen you act like you do around Raven.  It’s almost as if she’s making you grow a heart and I gotta say dude, it’s an improvement.  If you lose her, I don’t wanna think about what’ll happen to ya.  Don’t you remember what happened after Dita left you?  After you left Melinda?  You fucking fell apart!  You became the living embodiment of rage, you drank non-stop and made life hell for all of us!  I’m honestly scared what’ll happen if you lose Raven,” Pogo continued, the rage in his voice tapering off for concern and stark fear.  Manson could only stare back before slumping, his persona fading to the background for the first time in days.

“I’m afraid of that too, Pogo.  I just... her being afraid of me is fucking with me hardcore right now.  Everytime she flinches from me is like a stab to my heart and then Dita...  The voice that sounds like Dita starts to whisper and I can’t control myself,” the singer responded quietly, his voice small and tortured sounding.

All at once, the rock star found himself pulled into a crushing bear hug by the mohawked keyboardist.  “I know, just as I know going into your persona is a way to shield yourself from your feelings but you acting out is only making the situation worse,” the keyboardist sighed, tightening his hold slightly to hold Manson an arm’s length away from himself.  The singer only sighed shakily, shaking his head slowly.

“I know but there’s not much I can do to stop it.  I need space away from her to get my head on straight but with everything that’s happened to her recently, I’m afraid to leave her alone,” the rock star admitted quietly, fear stark in his heterochromic eyes as he locked gazes with his keyboardist.

The whispered confession made everyone in the room still, all eyes fixed on the clearly distraught male.  “It’s like I’m watching myself through a glass barrier, unable to stop myself from saying the things I do,” he hissed in a shaky, tear clogged voice, his hand curling into tight, shaking fists by his sides.

“How do I stop something that I have no control over?” he asked in a lost, quiet voice, unable to look at any of his band members out of shame.  What Pogo had said wasn’t lost on him but he was at a loss for how to stop it.

“Manson?” came a timid, female voice from the kitchen entrance, making the singer tense.  Jeordie tore himself from Tim and Ginger’s loosened grips, shot a heated glare at Manson and ran over to Raven’s side.  Instead of answering her, the rock star merely shoved passed her with his angry mask firmly in place.

“Mare, please,” came a desperate plea from behind him, making the performer stop for a moment and flinch; as if he was struggling against himself.

“I’m sorry Raven,” he murmured, barely loud enough for her to hear before he ran out the front door and slammed it behind him.

After the dust had settled from Manson’s flight, Raven sat at the kitchen with her usual bottle of soda; looking at the plastic container listlessly.  All four members of the band, as well as Twiggy, had stayed in the kitchen to keep her company; all of them worried for the quiet female.  Thus far it had been a miracle that Amanda and Johnny hadn’t heard about Manson’s inexcusable behavior but if it got much worse they wouldn’t hesitate to inform them.  All of them desperately hoped that, by some miracle, things would just smoothen out and go back to normal.  “Does he hate me?” came a broken, small voice, shattering the somber quietness of the kitchen.

“No sweetie, never.  He’s just... He’s going through some shit right now and you’re sorta caught in the middle,” Jeordie assured, moving behind the silently crying female and placing his hands on her shuddering shoulders.

“And me being afraid of him isn’t helping matters,” she sighed shakily.  The man behind her wanted to protest but found himself unable to refute the truth of the statement.  While none of this was the female’s fault, it certainly didn’t help that she would nearly jump away from Manson whenever he got near.

“While that might be true, none of this is your fault.  Manson was the one who nearly punched you after you almost got raped!  A  sane  woman would have left a long time ago,” Pogo replied before the former guitarist could, a sad look on his pale face.

` Raven and Jeordie looked up at the keyboardist in shock before the pale female began to get a furious look on her face.  “Just because things are shit now doesn’t mean they’ll always be!  I’ve seen glimpses of how Brian acts when he’s not having issues!  He’s the sweetest, most loving man I’ve ever seen!  You don’t leave someone just because things get a little rough!  You try to work things out the best you can!” she hissed, anger sparking in her hazel eyes as she stood up as stalked towards the mohawked man.

Pogo didn’t move an inch and by the time she finished her rant, she was standing toe to toe with the admittedly unpredictable male.  “Sweetie, Bri isn’t gonna get better; he’s gonna get worse.  Meeting Dita at that concert fucked him up more than any of us have seen in a long time.  She’s gotten into his head and his subconscious has been whispering little things in his ear.  He’s losing his grip on himself rapidly,” the keyboardist murmured in a quiet voice, his brown eyes meeting hers steadily.  Raven could only stare up at him for a few moments before letting out a quiet sigh.

“I know.  I’m not blind.  He’s only getting worse and being around me is only aggravating his condition.  He needs to get away for a bit,” she replied in a small voice, leaning into the tall male for some comfort.  Normally she would have gone to anyone but the hyper musician but he was the closest to her.

A look of shock flitting over Pogo’s face, the black clad male loosely wrapped his arms around her and gave her a hug.  “There’s... something else that we have to tell you,” came a whisper from to her left.  Lifting her head from the keyboardist’s chest, Raven looked up to see Ginger looking at her with concern.

“Ging...,” Jeordie began, walking towards the drummer to stop him.  Ginger only shook his head sharply in the ex-guitarist’s direction.

“She needs to know!  Or do you want her to find out the hard way,” the bleach blonde hissed, his brown eyes narrowing slightly.  The dreadlocked male opened his mouth to protest but promptly closed it.  Then he gave a slight nod, fixing his gaze on Raven; who was staring at both of them with confusion, curiosity and fear.

“Manson’s been going out with other women.  There have been several photos taken and it’s all over the tabloids.  They even managed to somehow find this house and have gotten a few pictures of him screaming at you,” the drummer continued, his voice full of worry and sympathy.

“Wh-what?” gasped out the stunned female, feeling as if the floor had just been yanked out from under her to reveal a yawning precipice.  If it hadn’t been for Pogo holding her, the now crying female would have slipped bonelessly to her knees.  As it was, she felt as if all the breath had been socked from her lungs and her heart had stopped beating in her chest; seeming to be clamped in a tight vise.

“Easy,” Pogo soothed, moving her to sit in a chair at the kitchen table.  Raven could only stare up blankly, tears flowing helplessly down her cheeks as the edge of her vision went gray.  He was dating other women.  Had he already gotten sick of her?  Was he looking for a replacement before he broke up with her?  Shuddering sobs leaving her lips unknowingly, the distraught woman began rocking back and forth.  He no longer loved her!

Suddenly she found herself in the middle of a group hug as all five men swept her into their arms.  All of them made soothing sounds as they held her, Jeordie even wiping the tears from her pale cheeks.  “He’s not doing this because he doesn’t love you.  He’s doing this because he’s hurting and confused,” Ginger assured softly, placing a brotherly kiss on her forehead.  Somehow, the words rang hollow in her head.  Deep inside, she couldn’t blame him for leaving her.  Other women could give him the relationship he needed, no, deserved.

Just as Pogo was about reassure her, a gentle, almost timid knock came from the front door.  Sighing, Raven pulled herself from the group and began to go to the door.  All five men followed close behind, uneasy about letting her open the door by herself after recent events.  When the tired, defeated feeling female opened the door, an exhalation left her lips.  There, standing in the doorway, was a very abashed, scared looking Dita.  “What the fuck are you doing here,” Jeordie hissed from her right, moving in front of Raven to protect her.

“I... I read about what’s been going on in the tabloids and I think it’s my fault,” she whispered timidly, looking like a scared rabbit about to run away.

“Well, it is,” Raven bit out, her voice full of venom as her hands unconsciously clenched into tight fists.  This woman was the cause of Manson’s behavior, the reason why he was going out with other women.  Just the sight of her filled the now shaking woman with rage.

Dita winced at her words before nodding slowly.  “I’m glad he’s not here then.  I know you probably want me off your property but I merely came to offer advice,” the pin-up star explained, her blue eyes full of fear as she locked gazes with Raven.

“And what in blue fuck makes you think I’d want advice from you!  You are the reason he’s so fucked up emotionally!” the furious female screamed, tightening her fists and grinding her teeth together; barely able to keep herself from launching at the woman before her.

“I’ve seen Brian at his worst, even worse than this.  I can help guide you through a veritable minefield,” Dita replied quietly, not moving her gaze from the other woman’s.

“A minefield you helped cause!  Thanks but no thanks!  Besides, don’t you think it’ll be even worse for me if Manson so much as gets wind you were around me?” Raven snarled, storming back inside and slamming the door behind her.  As soon as the portal was shut, the overwrought female burst into heartbroken sobs, only to be once again engulfed in a group hug.

Later that evening, Manson came stumbling into the house; a strange female on his arm.  Raven, who happened to run into the hall when she heard the door open, felt her heart drop through her stomach at the sight of the unknown female.  Instead of even acknowledging her existence, the rock star simply escorted the woman upstairs.  Unable to take being in the same house while he fucked a prospective girlfriend, the silently sobbing female punched in a number with shaking fingers.

Johnny hadn’t heard from Raven in a week, a fact that made the actor nervous and antsy.  With how Brian had acted the last time the actor had seen him, he could only assume the worst was happening.  Leaning his head back on the couch, the star closed his eyes and took a deep breath.  Then, all of a sudden, the song ‘Dear Prudence’ began to blare from his phone.  Grasping the phone and nearly dropping it in his eagerness to answer, the goateed actor pressed the deep blue object to his face.  “Raven?” he breathed, his heart thudding in his chest erratically from the mere possibility of hearing her voice.

“J-johnny, c-can I stay with you for tonight,” came a heartbroken, lost female voice from the other end, making his heart halt in her chest.   ‘Oh christ, what’s Brian done now?’ he thought to himself.

“Sure sweetie!  I’ll be right over to get you,” he answered, concern thick in his baritone voice.  If the singer had hurt her, there was going to be hell to pay.

“D-don’t bother.  Ging and Tim are gonna take me,” she replied, sounding as if she was on the verge of sobbing.

“What’s going on?” Johnny asked urgently, sprinting to the door of his suite and flinging it open.

“M-manson, h-he’s...,” she stammered, unable to continue as a sob escaped.  A slight fumbling sound followed before a male voice came over the line.

“Johnny?  It’s Ginger.  Manson’s gotten worse.  He brought home one of the women he’s been.... ‘dating’,” came a slightly angry sounding baritone.

“I read about that in the tabloids but I never thought he would actually...  That fucking son of a bitch,” the actor snarled, jogging at a fast clip toward the elevator, jabbing the button several times with his finger several times.

“I can’t say anything to excuse his behavior but he isn’t in his right mind right now.  he’s spiraling out of control,” the drummer continued, sounding worried, exasperated and angry.

“Just get Raven out of there as soon as you can and get that bastard out of there.  If Amanda comes home and sees him with...,” the agitated star hissed, dashing into the empty elevator as soon as the doors opened.

“Yeah, that’s why John, Twiggy and Pogo are staying.  They’re gonna get him out as soon as he’s done fucking her.  Right now Twiggy is packing Raven some things.  We’ll be there as soon as we can,” Ginger responded before hanging up.

Johnny glared at his deep blue phone before punching the mirrored wall of the elevator that was in front of him.  A low growl left his lips as the machine practically crawled down to the lobby.  Not only was he pissed at Brian but he was even more pissed at Dita for shattering their hard fought for peace.  If she had never shown up, the actor was pretty sure none of this catastrophe would have ever happened.  Punching the shiny wall again, the actor grit his teeth as he took deep breaths to try to calm down.  When Raven arrived, he needed to be as calm as possible; the poor woman didn’t need any further stress.

Thankfully for Raven, it only took moments for Twiggy to bring her stuff downstairs.  “Twiggles?” the defeated, silently crying woman uttered in a broken voice.

“Yes hun?” the ex-musician asked quietly, meeting her pain filled eyes steadily.

“Make sure he stays safe?” she breathed out, sounding as if she was on the verge of breaking.  Jeordie could only stare at her in astonishment, his eyes full of wonder and concern.

“Of course,” he promised, placing a brotherly kiss on her forehead before she turned and exited through the front door.

As soon as the entrance clicked shut, an unwelcome, male voice came from the top of the stairs.  “Get this bitch outta here,” Manson snarled, nearly tossing the stunned looking female he had brought in earlier down the stairs.  The blonde stumbled on her thin, red heels, looking up at the singer with a shocked, hurt look.  Before the female could respond, Tim took her by the arm and gently lead her downstairs.

“Come on, we gotta get you outta here before Amanda comes back,” John 5 whispered urgently, grabbing the rock god’s arm and trying to lead him down the stairs.  Manson didn’t even growl, merely allowed himself to be lead out of the house while Pogo brought down his luggage.

Raven stayed disturbingly silent, tears rolling down her cheeks as she stared out the window.  “Hey, you okay?” Ginger asked from the back as Tim drove.

“No Ginger, I can’t say that I am,” she whispered in a quiet, broken voice as a watery sigh escaped her.  In truth, her heart currently felt like it was getting crushed as well as stabbed; making it hard for her to even draw breath.  With a shaky hand, she pulled out her deep red cell phone and stared down at the shiny red surface, a contemplative, sad look on her face.

“Raven, what are you thinking of doing?” Tim asked in his Swedish accented voice, making the other two occupants jump in surprise.

“I... I don’t know if I can do this anymore.  He’s... he’s dating other women and now he brought one home!  It’s become obvious to me that he no longer wants me...,” she whispered, her voice gruff and shaky from her tears.  Her small, pale hand that was holding the phone shook violently, causing the machine to jitter within her grip.

“You couldn’t be more wrong,” rumbled Tim’s gruff response, drawing another shocked look from Raven.  This was the most she had heard the bassist say, ever.

“But, maybe you  should leave,” he continued, a bit of sorrow slipping into his deep, accented voice; making both Raven and Ginger stare at him.

“He is not thinking right.  He needs time to cool down, time to think.  He will only get worse if this is allowed to continue,” he explained, his brown eyes flicking over to her briefly as a grimace crossed his pale face.

“As much as I hate to admit it, Tim’s right.  He’s in a downward spiral right now, one that no one but himself can pull him out of,” Ginger sighed, turning to look at the silent female in front of him.  Raven looked from Tim to the drummer, a sad, thoughtful look on her face before she glanced back down at her phone.

As soon as the drained looking woman stepped out of the sleek, sports car, Johnny enveloped her in a tight hug, one of his hand tangling in her hair while the other rested in the small of her back.  As soon as his hands met her, she burst into loud, ragged sobs; burrowing her face in his shirt covered chest.  “Johnny, tonight’s gonna be rough; for both of them,” Ginger warned from the rear window before the car roared off.  Not wasting any time, the handsome actor lead her into the hotel.

Once he got her into his suite, he lead her to the couch and had her sit down.  “What’s going on?” he asked in a quiet voice, sitting next to her and looking at her with concern clear on his face.

“I... I have to break up with Manson,” she gasped out, sounding as if just saying those words was ripping her heart out of her chest.  Johnny only stared down at her in response, a stunned look on his pale face.  While he agreed with her after everything that had happened, he was still stunned to hear her say it.

“It’s okay sweetie... I’ll be right here,” he whispered, tugging her against his side and running a hand through her ebony hair.  The shaking female rested her head on the black material covering his shoulder, heaving a watery sigh.

“How am I going to live without him?  How will I find the strength to go on?” she whispered in a broken voice, tears flowing freely down her milky cheeks.

“This isn’t going to be permanent, is it?” he asked in a worried voice, looking down at the distraught female next to him.

“I think it would be best if it was, mainly for him.  He needs someone who can actually give him the physical relationship he needs,” she whispered sitting up to stare down at her crimson phone apprehensively.

“Raven...,” the actor began, only to stop when Raven held up a shaking hand.

“Don’t try to talk me out of it, I need to do  this much for him,” she hissed in a shaky voice as she flipped open her phone and hit Manson’s number.

Manson was ensconced in the back of taxi,Twiggy on one side and John on the other.  Pogo sat up front with the driver.  A sudden, familiar ringtone broke the heavy silence and Manson looked down at the ringing object with faint dread.  He had an idea of why she was calling and felt his heart beat in his chest from fear.  After a few moments, he flipped the machine open and brought it to his ear.  “Raven?” he whispered, fear faintly tinging his baritone voice as his hand began to shake.

Raven took in a deep breath before beginning to sing.  “Fuck you because I loved you.  Fuck you for loving you too.  I don’t need a reason to hate you the way I do,” she hissed, forcing false anger and venom into her voice as she fairly spat the words into the phone.

“Raven,” he gasped out in a pained voice, rocking backwards in the seat like he had been punched.  His heterochromic eyes closed as tears began to roll down his naked cheeks.

Just hearing the pain in his voice was almost enough to make her call it off but she gathered her scant resolve and continued, somehow managing to still sound angry and betrayed.  “Fuck you because I loved you.  Fuck you for loving you too.  I don’t need a reason to  hate you the way I do! ” she snarled, nearly screaming the last line and allowing the song to taper off to silence.  Closing her eyes tightly, her heart thudded in her ears as she awaited his response.  After a few moments of silence, Manson began to sing in return.

“The ants are in the sugar.  The muscles atrophied.  We’re on the other side, the screen is us and we’re T.V,” he uttered in a haunting voice, nearly drawing a ragged gasp from her.  Raven recognized the song and it made her heart lurch in her chest.

“Spread me open, sticking to my pointy ribs are all your infants in abortion cribs.  I was born into this, everything turns to shit.  The boy who you loved is the man that you fear,” he continued sounding lost as well as apologetic, making Raven close her eyes tightly.

“Pray until your number, asleep from all your pain, your apple has been rotting.  Tomorrow’s turned up dead.  I have it all and I have no choice but to.  I’ll make everyone pay and you will see,” he sighed, his voice sounding hollow and full of heartbreak.  Just hearing that, it took everything Raven had not to simply apologize; to say she hadn’t meant it.

“You can kill yourself now because you’re dead in my mind.  The boy that you loved is the monster you fear,” he hissed out, his voice growing self depreciating.

“Peel off all those eyes, crawl into the dark, you poison all your children to camouflage your scars.  Pray unto your splinters, pray unto your fear.  Pray your life was just a dream, the cut that never heals!” he belted out suddenly, sounding almost as if he was sobbing the last few lines.

“Pray now baby, pray your life was just a dream.  The world in my hands, there's no one left to hear you scream.  No one left for you,” he finished, his voice wavering.

“I love you Raven.  I’ll never forget you,” he whispered before the line went dead.

The shaken, sobbing female stared down at the silent phone, shaking in place as her throat began to clog with tears.  Letting out a loud, despair filled wail, the black haired female flung herself into Johnny’s waiting arms and began to sob.  “Tell me I did the right thing!  Tell me he’ll be okay,” she begged breathlessly between sobs.  The actor only pet her hair in response, making soothing noises.  A sudden knock on the door broke the moment and startled the pair badly.

Moving towards the door with Raven right behind him, the movie star slowly opened the door to reveal Dita.  Before Raven could say anything, the model held up her hands in surrender.  “I know you don’t like me and for good reason but I just want to help,” the pin-up star assured, fear in her blue eyes as she looked up at the angry looking Johnny.

“Well you’re too late, it’s over,” Raven whispered in a broken voice before unexpectedly flinging herself into Dita’s arms and beginning to cry.

“I had to break up with him,” she gasped into the other woman’s pale shoulder, earning a shocked gasp from the model.

“What happened?” she whispered, slowly moving the still shaking woman back into the suite, ignoring the glare from the actor.  Hiccuping softly, Raven began to tell Dita the whole tale.

  
  
  
  
  


THE END (of Part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Well, it’s been a crazy ride for this. 265 pages in total and 1,800+ views. Please stay tuned cause there are two more books to come! Not sure when the next one will be out though, so keep your eyes peeled.)


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